Here's a question for you: what do the Ford Focus RS, Mercedes-AMG A35 and VW Up GTI have in common? Well, beyond all being hot hatches, it's the fact that the whole world seems to love them. And I don't. The Focus (too firm, too heavy, too contrived) and the A-Class (made redundant by the A45) are ones to address another time. But the Up GTI we're going to talk about right now.
For something that is celebrated as a kind of junior performance car hero, I think it's a distinctly ordinary prospect. And I'm not saying that as a spoilt motoring journalist - that it can't possibly be a great fast car unless it has 600hp and dampers worth as much as most pension pots - I mean that in the areas that characterise all of the best performance cars: the involvement, the cohesion, the sense of a well-engineered whole. It falls short. Yet seemingly it is celebrated for the fact. As Dan P observed in his review recently, where he called it "the worst great car I've ever driven", the Up remains pretty noticeably flawed. But it also now costs £18,000 for a five-door with some options. And, even with not much by way of competition, I just don't think it's good enough. If it wasn't a VW, didn't carry that badge and wasn't all funky and cute with its tartan seats, the GTI's reception would surely have been less kind.
The driving position is awkward, the seats aren't supportive enough, the gearbox is vague, the engine unwilling to rev and the suspension underdamped. At the new intro price of £16,000, I don't think they're problems that should just be swept under the carpet. It would be daft to expect the GTI to be some kind of reborn Saxo VTS, but its flaws should not be automatically waved off as "character" or "quirks" or "personality". As a driving device, the Up GTI isn't up to the level of scratch promised by its badge. And I don't understand why people continue to say that is.
I hope this isn't misconstrued as anti-VW bias, because it really isn't. The Golf GTI Clubsport S is honestly one of the best driver's cars of the past five years, and the Polo GTI does the mini Golf GTI thing perfectly well enough for a lot of people. And yet the CS is wrongly derided - '£35k for an old Golf GTI!' and so on - while the Up is apparently peerless. Now more than ever we should be celebrating small, light, efficient performance cars; the Up is certainly small and efficient, but I fail to see how it delivers as a driver's car.
So what does, I hear you ask? Well, just before the Up GTI was enjoying its original pomp, I was the fortunate custodian of a Swift Sport. It cost £14,399, £244 more than an Up GTI did at launch. Or £2,244 less than the optioned-up, um, Up that eventually ended up on the PH Fleet as well. And although the Swift was far from perfect, it - for me at least - delivered on the small driver's car brief better than the Volkswagen ever could. The driving position was better, the control weights more in sync, the engine revvier and the handling better balanced. I'd never call it riotously good fun, but, crucially, the Swift drove like time had been spent on things like the suspension set up, the brake pedal feel and steering's response. And not just the upholstery. In fact, it seemed like no time at all had been spent on that.
Which is why this new video from our CarGurus UK sister site sets up an intriguing face off. Because it's Swift vs. Up, a baby battle royale with Dan refereeing. Only problem being that the Swift has changed quite a bit in a very short space of time, evolving from that much admired, simple hot hatch through a turbo phase and into the new hybrid era. It's also now become a £21k prospect, a far cry from the £14,000 of just three years ago. Has Suzuki's diligence in the chassis department survived the switch? Or does the growing contingent of Up fans claim another notch for the tartan bed post? I know which one I'm rooting for...
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