The unnervingly long list of crosses says it all, really - this racing lark is just beginning to look a little bit serious. I'm in a car park on the edge of Silverstone waiting nervously as my little Seven undergoes a mock scrutineering, one of several activities that form the Caterham Academy's Handling Day.
As well as going through the pain of the faux scrutineering, Handling Day gives us all a chance to do timed practice starts, and get a feel for the car over several different timed slalom courses. It's a chance for Academy participants (like myself) to gauge the strength of the competition.
It's also an alarming wake-up call - for me at least - as my abject failure in the scrutineering tests proves I have a long way to go before my car is race-ready. Of the long list of checks that Caterham Midlands boss Nick Potter (the man playing the role of chief scrutineer for the day) has to go through, only 'roll cage security' and 'taped handbrake' have a tick by them.
I still need to sort out a bespoke race seat (the standard unit makes me sit too high), fit the crotch strap and arm restraints, the rain light, and the roll-cage padding. I also need to seal the boot floor, tape up the headlights and get my belts properly adjusted. Not much to do, then...
But the biggest issue of all is setting up the handling. As somebody who is, shall we say, not the most slight of fellows, the effect my ample behind has on the weight distribution of such a small car is quite alarming. Basically, the right rear corner of the car needs to be jacked up on its suspension quite dramatically in order to tip my weight forward towards the front wheels.
As it is, there is less weight over the nose, and that is going to lead to one thing that I'm already learning a Caterham Academy car is prone to do anyway: understeer.
And so it proves - around the tighter turns of the cone courses that the Caterham guys have set up, the Seven simply wants to push wide, particularly around right-hand turns.
It can be mitigated with judicious use of the brakes, or even with dab-of-oppo powerslides that would make Troy Queef proud, but my suspicion is that it will feel so much sharper when properly set up.
The Academy track day at Castle Combe less than a week from now will prove me right or wrong - it'll be the first time I get to try the car in 'race' trim.
As for where I come in the pecking order for group two (the Academy is split into two mini series), There's a little work to do there, too - I'm sixth or seventh fastest after our timed runs on the 'big slalom' course at the end of the day, but still more than a second off the pace of fastest man (and keen PHer) Kurt Brady. At least that's a better performance than I managed in the scrutineering test...
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 A Seven with the rare cone attachment |
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