Three in a bed - should I go there?
Discussion
love machine said:
BliarsGoing said:
love machine said:
littlegreenfairy said:
If you truly love each other then there should be no need for a third party in the relationship.
I bet you've got a battery powered baby's arm
I always find them a bit bad taste, being the stiff lipped Englishman that I am. My last ladyfriend looked at me like a dog waiting to be thrown a stick, holding this thing which would frighten a horse, expecting me to "feed" it to her. That was the only time I have felt inadequate. Ladies, keep those things to yourself. 
The conclusion has been reached, you have to have to put these dollies through their paces and then tell us if it was worth it. If it breaks you, the PH posse will make it better
Toys are just that, toys. Get in there and join in the fun.This was more of a Rhino. Seriously, I needed both hands to pick it up and was more complex than a sequential gearbox
Wasn't it a bit of a giveaway when you had to take the lampshade off first?
ali_kat said:
ZR1cliff said:
You could also argue if you truly love each other you would listen to your partners needs?,some people have an insatiable desire to do certain stuff for satisfaction ,ordinarily its best depending on the person(s) involved not to cross the line between fantasy and reality as it can harm a relationship and the two should never meet however if both parties talk about it and are aware of certain rules that should never be crossed and both parties are secure in themselves then a little "taster" cant go amiss now and again 
,perhaps try it anonymously first off away from where you live to see if it is really what you want.
Also all parties need to be able to all have a certain amount of control over the situation as its possible it could spiral out of control.
,perhaps try it anonymously first off away from where you live to see if it is really what you want. Also all parties need to be able to all have a certain amount of control over the situation as its possible it could spiral out of control.
But there should never be a need for a third person in a relationship!!
Crossing the line between fantasy and reality can destroy relationships. Trust me
Not always. Trust me
got something in my eye,anyway i think ted should throw caution to the wind and give it a go
seefive said:
love machine said:
BliarsGoing said:
love machine said:
littlegreenfairy said:
If you truly love each other then there should be no need for a third party in the relationship.
I bet you've got a battery powered baby's arm
I always find them a bit bad taste, being the stiff lipped Englishman that I am. My last ladyfriend looked at me like a dog waiting to be thrown a stick, holding this thing which would frighten a horse, expecting me to "feed" it to her. That was the only time I have felt inadequate. Ladies, keep those things to yourself. The conclusion has been reached, you have to have to put these dollies through their paces and then tell us if it was worth it. If it breaks you, the PH posse will make it better
Toys are just that, toys. Get in there and join in the fun.This was more of a Rhino. Seriously, I needed both hands to pick it up and was more complex than a sequential gearbox
Wasn't it a bit of a giveaway when you had to take the lampshade off first?
It was bigger than most table lamps. Having said, she had had 3 kids. The phrase "wizards sleeve" spings to mind. I have no problems with mucking about with "stuff" but I just thought "Where is the love, man"
I'm curious what the reaction would be if I got my real doll out and started giving her a portion in front of the missus. Is that acceptable? littlegreenfairy said:
If you truly love each other then there should be no need for a third party in the relationship.
If you can go through with it then it does raise questions about the level of commitment in the relationship.
If you can go through with it then it does raise questions about the level of commitment in the relationship.
I wouldn't say I agree with your assumptions there.
It's natural to look at and fancy other people when you're in a long term relationship. That doesn't mean you love your partner any less, or have less commitment to the relationship. Even having sex with other people doesn't necessarily mean it's a reflection of a bad relationship. Lies and underhandedness destroy relationships. Some people are able to have an understanding of their partners needs and not see it as a sign that they are lacking in any way.
Personally, I couldn't do it. I know I'd be consumed with jealousy seeing someone I love with someone else, and that would be what would destroy our relationship, but not everyone feels that way.
Fantasies are exactly that, Fantasy! They are not real, they are imagined and held within the persons mind. The power of the fantasy is exactly that.
Most of us have them and sometimes you get the opportunity to live them out in the real world. Personally I like to keep my fantasies where they are now. Once you've experienced them then they are no longer fantasies. If the experience is worse that you imagined it would be then it's ruined forever. If it's better then you will always want more and you may not be able to repeat it.
I prefer mine kept to myself were they can live happily without involving anyone else.
Most of us have them and sometimes you get the opportunity to live them out in the real world. Personally I like to keep my fantasies where they are now. Once you've experienced them then they are no longer fantasies. If the experience is worse that you imagined it would be then it's ruined forever. If it's better then you will always want more and you may not be able to repeat it.
I prefer mine kept to myself were they can live happily without involving anyone else.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
You should have made this point clearer in your first post. At first I was thinking Dinah-Moe Humm but if you have a family with this woman...don't do it and start re-evaluating the whole thing with her.
Basically, if there is a doubt - then there is no doubt.
I don't think there's a hetro bloke alive who doesn't consider this sort of threesome one of their all time fantasies.
Thing is this, yeah, it might help one night when you've had seven pints of lager and she's getting a little bit 'impatient' for you to start thinking about her and some 'faceless' female. But, if you go through with it you won't be looking at a faceless female tipping the velvet in your mind, you will have an actual face.
It's her desire to go through with this, not yours. For it to work you must both be up for it equally. Clearly this is not the case. You have commitments to each other - kids, mortgage, house, etc so have been together quite a while. I advise no. Then again, if the relationship is doomed, you might as well. It's another badge to wear in a bloke's world isn't it?
However, if you had only been going out with each other a couple of months, I would be encouraging it.
Thing is this, yeah, it might help one night when you've had seven pints of lager and she's getting a little bit 'impatient' for you to start thinking about her and some 'faceless' female. But, if you go through with it you won't be looking at a faceless female tipping the velvet in your mind, you will have an actual face.
It's her desire to go through with this, not yours. For it to work you must both be up for it equally. Clearly this is not the case. You have commitments to each other - kids, mortgage, house, etc so have been together quite a while. I advise no. Then again, if the relationship is doomed, you might as well. It's another badge to wear in a bloke's world isn't it?
However, if you had only been going out with each other a couple of months, I would be encouraging it.
Everytime I've seen this happen in a loving relationship, it never ends well.
I know I'm being boring ..... and I would jump at the chance if it was a one night or just a 'casual sex' affair. The thing is, when you look deeply into it, do you know whether it's just bi-tendencies or will she swing permanently, will you end up getting jealous if she likes it better than going with you, or what if she starts having one on one girl sex without you.... The more I thought about (and I was there) the more I realised it's just not good and my mates who have 'been there and done that' explained likewise. You have to ask why she wants to do this, it might be because she knows you want to. If you explained your possible doubts, would she still want to do it ? Also how will she feel when your boning another woman and will you become more attracted to the other girl.... You even get into crap, as everytime the other wants to do it again you'll always get the question why.... am I not good enough or is he/she going off me, does he/she fancy him/her more than me. etc. etc...? It's akin to people who swing and go to those sex parties (that I never get invuted to
), I've never understood how you could let your partner get a good knobbing from the guy next door and not get jealous...Each to their own but I always think theres something missing...
However, in this day and age the taboos are crashing down, so if you think you and her can handle all the questions and doubts that will arise, then crack on... me, I would crack up...
I know I'm being boring ..... and I would jump at the chance if it was a one night or just a 'casual sex' affair. The thing is, when you look deeply into it, do you know whether it's just bi-tendencies or will she swing permanently, will you end up getting jealous if she likes it better than going with you, or what if she starts having one on one girl sex without you.... The more I thought about (and I was there) the more I realised it's just not good and my mates who have 'been there and done that' explained likewise. You have to ask why she wants to do this, it might be because she knows you want to. If you explained your possible doubts, would she still want to do it ? Also how will she feel when your boning another woman and will you become more attracted to the other girl.... You even get into crap, as everytime the other wants to do it again you'll always get the question why.... am I not good enough or is he/she going off me, does he/she fancy him/her more than me. etc. etc...? It's akin to people who swing and go to those sex parties (that I never get invuted to
), I've never understood how you could let your partner get a good knobbing from the guy next door and not get jealous...Each to their own but I always think theres something missing... However, in this day and age the taboos are crashing down, so if you think you and her can handle all the questions and doubts that will arise, then crack on... me, I would crack up...
Tyre Smoke said:
However, if you had only been going out with each other a couple of months, I would be encouraging it.
I had a conversation with a g/f as to if either of us was interested in this.
Both thought we loved the idea but didn’t think either of us could handle the reality and fall out. Secretly I was also thinking that there was no way I wanted the real image of someone I considered I could spend the rest of my natural with getting that intimate with A. N. Other.
If we had little chance of sticking together for more than a short time I’d have been scouring Swingers Monthly within the hour
Edited by rude-boy on Wednesday 6th September 13:46
If like my relationship with my wife sex is based on respect, love and closeness we have achieved in other parts of our life (and maybe unadulterated possesiveness - on her part of course ) then its a definite no-no if you want your relationship to survive.
The crunch here is can you both treat sex as unimportant fun (like any other hobby), and not treat it as something that is an integral part of a loving relationship ONLY? If you can TRULY both state that sex is just something to do, and love between you is something bigger and more important than sex, then maybe it isn't a problem, and you may be able to get away with it in your relationship. I am not sure how many people in a long term relationship could honestly do that though - maybe they think they can till the day after.
From your posts, you do not sound like you can do it either, so get ready for a big relationship problem cos by the sound of it, she can, or has another egenda.
Others have said, you can go out with a bang.... or otherwise. If I could put myself in your situation, I think I would go for it for the hell of it (given that I felt that the relationship was probably doomed anyway). Faced with a helpless situation, you never know, you might just be starting another hobby.... which you can participate in as a couple and save the relationship
Not much help (pure speculation - honest guys), but I guess it really depends on how you both answer the question of relationship/hobbies. Good luck, I hope it works out your way.
ETA - most of this has been said in a couple of posts above while I was typing... sorry.
) then its a definite no-no if you want your relationship to survive. The crunch here is can you both treat sex as unimportant fun (like any other hobby), and not treat it as something that is an integral part of a loving relationship ONLY? If you can TRULY both state that sex is just something to do, and love between you is something bigger and more important than sex, then maybe it isn't a problem, and you may be able to get away with it in your relationship. I am not sure how many people in a long term relationship could honestly do that though - maybe they think they can till the day after.
From your posts, you do not sound like you can do it either, so get ready for a big relationship problem cos by the sound of it, she can, or has another egenda.
Others have said, you can go out with a bang.... or otherwise. If I could put myself in your situation, I think I would go for it for the hell of it (given that I felt that the relationship was probably doomed anyway). Faced with a helpless situation, you never know, you might just be starting another hobby.... which you can participate in as a couple and save the relationship
Not much help (pure speculation - honest guys
), but I guess it really depends on how you both answer the question of relationship/hobbies. Good luck, I hope it works out your way. ETA - most of this has been said in a couple of posts above while I was typing... sorry.
Edited by seefive on Wednesday 6th September 13:52
Try the "my fantasy is a trip up the oxo tower, how about it?" and get her reaction on that. You can then explain your feelings if she declines or start ringing everyone you know to tell them you have a bicurious wife who like's it up the gary.
It's a tough question. Isn't there a phrase "spare cock at an orgy?"
It's a tough question. Isn't there a phrase "spare cock at an orgy?"
Goggs, I understand why you feel the need to seek advice but ultimately only you can decide if this is something that you feel comfortable with.
Inevitably there are lots of posts on here written from the context of the relationship of the person posting. Thats all very well but they are, obviously, talking about their relationship and therefore, not yours.
A couple of posters are speculating as to the long term motives of your other half; again, only she knows the answer to that and if anybody else is well placed to speculate, its probably you. It could actually be the case that she genuinely fancies being bi-sexual for a couple of hours to see what its like and this is not a prelude to Roman style free for alls.
A good friend of mine and his wife are pretty committed swingers. It works brilliantly for them and has done so for a number of years. My wife and I however declined their kind invitation for his wife to give mine a good seeing to and for me to have a go on his Missus at Le Mans last year. I have tried 3 somes in the past (when young, free and mostly single) but it just wouldn't work for us.
Have a good talk with your other half, find out what is really driving this desire and if you do go for it, do tell us all about it
Inevitably there are lots of posts on here written from the context of the relationship of the person posting. Thats all very well but they are, obviously, talking about their relationship and therefore, not yours.
A couple of posters are speculating as to the long term motives of your other half; again, only she knows the answer to that and if anybody else is well placed to speculate, its probably you. It could actually be the case that she genuinely fancies being bi-sexual for a couple of hours to see what its like and this is not a prelude to Roman style free for alls.
A good friend of mine and his wife are pretty committed swingers. It works brilliantly for them and has done so for a number of years. My wife and I however declined their kind invitation for his wife to give mine a good seeing to and for me to have a go on his Missus at Le Mans last year. I have tried 3 somes in the past (when young, free and mostly single) but it just wouldn't work for us.
Have a good talk with your other half, find out what is really driving this desire and if you do go for it, do tell us all about it
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