Discussion
spyder dryver said:I saw it, and I called my friend, a singularly fat bastard. He was busy buying Irish ice cream from another fat git, who got interrupted by a fat cnut...I digress. The problem with your post and logic, as I see it, is that it's far too short. You need to go into extensive detail describing what you mean by fat. Is it the British chubby fat, the American waddle fat, or the Indian malnourished fat. Once we have established the fatness, we can discuss the treadmill's rubberiness (which could be blubber, which is fat). After that, it's a simple matter to derive the coefficient of friction which determines whether a scooter with a speed six takes off or not. So, close but no Sagaris.
Page 6, halfway down...
spyder dryver said:ok going to page 6 now.
Either you've just read the wrong post or you have eaten some mushrooms or similar.
I never mentioned fatties at all. They never go near treadmills anyway.
Edit...can't find your post on page 6 or 5 or 7...? Want to copy it in again? Probably running a different resolution to your PC, and therefore it's on a different page for me.
>> Edited by orgasmicliving!! on Wednesday 31st May 01:22
spyder dryver said:
A recent experience of mine might help shed some light on the whole "conveyor belt " thing.
I was happily jogging on a treadmill, my attempted forward velocity being perfectly cancelled out by the motion of the belt. Perfect equilibrium. Then a strange thing happened.
I tried to fart.
But it wouldn't ( or couldn't) come out. The fart that is.
The really weird thing is that the sound of the fart DID come out, and this is where the dodgy science comes in. Although my sphincter registered a low frequency trouser cough the sound was really high pitched. I can only guess that the rearward velocity of the guff was being augmented by the velocity of the belt ( conveyor, don't forget). Was this being caused by Doppler Shift? Or Doppler Shit even?
The faster the jogging machine was going the higher pitched the sound was. At one stage I achieved an ultra sonic frequency fart that was beyond human hearing and required the use of a bat detector!
To prove that I was dealing with an actual quantifiable phenomenon I tried running backwards on the treadmill to see if the perceived fart frequency was lowered. It was.
In the interest of ( dodgy) science I have subjected this effect to peer review.
My mate,who can run backwards really fast, achieved the lowest rumble and set the gym's burglar alarms off!
That wasn't the only thing to go off either! I bought a tuna and mayo baguette from the nearby vending machine and it smelled awful. Not fishy smell either!
By carefully timing a fart to emanate during the acceleration period of the treadmill a pleasing glissando effect was possible. We tried for a vibrato effect by turning the belt speed up and down quickly but we were pretty farted out by this time.
In case anyone is wondering where the gaseous portion of each pump went I can report that each and every fart escaped as an SBD the instant the belt stopped. This was only to be expected of course.
Smell was unaffected.
Experimentation was brought to a final halt by the gym manager who said the carbon monoxide detector in the coffee shop was going mad and a woman on one of the toning tables felt sick. And he made us open some windows.
All the results have been verified and prove the moving belt/fart inertia effect to be real. But only on THAT treadmill and on THAT day.Apparently.
I intend to do further research but I will have to join a different gym as I have been barred by the intolerant manager.
A similar but lower amplitude effect can be detected on an escalator but the changing altitude has to be taken into consideration if you can't match the speed exactly.
Go and experiment for yourself......
And the plane would take off.
But what if you fart on a moving plane?
Or a static plane on a conveyor belt??
>> Edited by spyder dryver on Friday 26th May 21:25
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