Suggestions rqd - Cleaner suspected of beating off in house.
Discussion
Gruffy said:
I think with the 'creeping back home early' approach there'll not be a next time Carrera. You have an obligation not to stuff this up now. I'd hold off until you have everything in place 
Gruffy
If I catch my cleaner strumming herself in my house I would consider that a result. Granted it might not do anything for you but I'll be pretty chuffed!
Well there's no time for an alternative plan now I'm afraid...we're going to have to stick with this one.
I know that she has the radio on when she cleans (she asked, bless her) so hopefully that'll mask the noise of me entering. I'll sneak upstairs and see what the hell she's doing to herself in my spare room.
All we can do now is hope and pray that a) she's actually there when I get home and b) she's knocking seven shades of sh!t out of her undercarriage when I look in.
Filthy filthy beast!
I know that she has the radio on when she cleans (she asked, bless her) so hopefully that'll mask the noise of me entering. I'll sneak upstairs and see what the hell she's doing to herself in my spare room.
All we can do now is hope and pray that a) she's actually there when I get home and b) she's knocking seven shades of sh!t out of her undercarriage when I look in.
Filthy filthy beast!
love machine said:
Let's face it, this is a bit boring, it's like someone saying "When I shoehorn a V10 into my Dad's Fiat 126, you're going to love the look on his face when he goes to pick up his pension". We've all heard about the look, now let's see it. I fully am stoked for you, I think it's definately 40000% got to be done, but the question is, if you bust in there and she is in there up to her elbow, bow legged and dripping, what are you going to do? Make yourself a cup of tea? If I had a wife that I really loved, I would of course be curious about whet she was up to but I'd leave her to it.
Getting some sort of a "grumble flick" out of her is totally legitimate though and can't be classed as cheating
Everyman's mind is due a bit of fuel for "relaxing in a gentlemans way"
Despite looking amusing initially - I can't make head or tail out of your post.
Sorry.
satch said:
breath being baited here c2. : desperatepervymodeon:
you're going to have to make it if you didn't go through through...wait, hang on are even awake yet?
did it go THAT well?
or....do you need some web hosting space
Unbelievable story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not really - she'd been and gone by the time I got back and there was no evidence of beatage. I'm losing faith here.
pablo said:
i cannot believe that anyone is falling for this. Is no one else wondering when the cleaner turns up in the McLaren F1 becasue the daily drive has stopped working.....
Thats what you said Pablo. You are still not right and haven't 'told anyone so'.
There's no wind-up here - if there was it would be much more imaginative and funnier. But dont' worry, one day you'll be right about a thread being a wind-up and you can have a little medal awarding ceremony where everyone bows down to you and tells you how clever and insightfull you are.
pablo said:
oh dear!, you threw some toys there didnt you..... i am only as wrong as you are guilty of making this up. i have no evidence its a hoax, you have no evidence its real. the better hoaxes are not extravagant but remain a possibility, like this one, and play on peoples own imagination. by not having any evidence (just like the loch ness monster et al!!) you can keep the joke going.
the f1 comment was reference to the now infamous "Dokic" thread where "jaydee" took it to Boots becasue one of the other cars wasnt working......and despite my suspicions, i am delighted to say that i fell for it. you are obviously not aware of the thread, it was very amusing. This however is just a little fantasy of yours.
Quite an extraordinary response there pablo. I didn't throw any toys out - I simply stated that I found your attitude to this a bit sad, but to be fair on you - I find all Internet Sherlock Holmes' sadder than Bambi.
If you don't want to believe it, don't. I dont' mind at all. I would like to add for the record that my life is interesting enough that I don't need to make up lame stories to make me feel like I have friends.
Bye Sherlock.
dj111s said:
Now we've had a bun fight interlude can we get back into the pants of this issue please?!
C2. When is she due in next? We must collectively formulate a cunning plan (so cunning you could stick a tail on it etc etc) that will result in the creation of a glorious bit of "art" for circulation to those who believe and silence the doubters!
We have enough collective intellect and guile here to do this people!! Let's be constructive and make it happen.
So, it's me in the wardrobe then, right?
>> Edited by dj111s on Friday 6th January 12:55
Right the facts are as follows:
She's next in on Thursday.
The house will be very tidy and clean leaving her with 'time on her hands' so to speak.
I still strongly suspect that on at least one occasion she has strummed her growler in my spare room.
I have a listening device albeit a shit one that seems to turn off - I'm sure however it can be programmed to 'turn on' at certain times ( I can find out beforehand what time she is likely to be there to set the device).
I need a realistic and effective trigger to set her off on a beating frenzy.
Over to you yet again!
Raify said:
I need a realistic and effective trigger to set her off on a beating frenzy.
Over to you yet again!
It's been mentioned before, but deserves another as a good (sub?)liminal trigger:
Also, if the adverts haven't lied to me (and why would they?) spraying Lynx all over the bed clothes should reduce the wench to a tazmanian-devil frenzy of frottage!
Thats good - where can I buy it? I reckon in conjunction with something phallic it cannot fail.
blindswelledrat said:
Bag of salt Timmy???????????????????????????????
What exactly would one do with that if one had a front-arse?
Call me unimaginative but I simply can't see her strolling in thinking
'mmmm not much to do here today.... and christ-on-a-bike there's a bag of salt there - that makes me wild with lust. I simply mmmuust pour it down my fanny' .
Presumabley it's used in some sort of lick, rub, lick tequila style beat.
Anyway Timmy with that sort of equipment lying around my spare room would be less of a bedroom and more a masturbatorium.
lazyitus said:
Hang on a minute, aren't oysters the aphrodisiac of choice? 
Maybe you could line up aprox. 100 oysters in a heart shape on the bed to get her in the mood for some self-loveage.
Being a lowly house cleaner, she'll be glad of the feed and as a special bonus she'll be able to make her own complimentry pearl necklace after she's licked out the clams.
You're on form today!
chilli said:
IT'S FRIDAY 
........ Come on C2...What's the latest......
No news this week - I'd asked her to do less as I'm in the middle of decorating. (Lets hope she didn't have the painters in too!)
Next weeks the week. There will be no possible reason for her not to and therefore if she doesn't I'll stop reporting and call it a day.
Keep the faith, I'm still sure she is interfering with herself - she's leaving flirtyish notes for me and must be gagging to whack off again.
Fingers crossed.
Gruffy said:
Next weeks the week. There will be no possible reason for her not to and therefore if she doesn't I'll stop reporting and call it a day.
Gruffy
POst it up then! That's why we're here
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