Stupid film cliches
Discussion
Every computer can connect to any other computer anywhere in the world, the password can be cracked in a zillionth of a second and the first file they find is the one they need and can fit on a 3.5" floppy.
Plus the file can be read on any computer because it has the right software on it.
Plus the file can be read on any computer because it has the right software on it.
People playing games by mashing all of the buttons and twirling the thumbsticks.
Car chases where the guy doesn't have the pedal pushed all the way to the floor until the camera goes there
400 gears.
5000 bullets with a heavy machine gun does nothing, but 1 pistol shot is all it takes.
The bad guy always shooting the good guy in the shoulder
THAT police sound effect, 'blah blah blah one forty eight blah blah' you could walk to the moon with clips using that sound.
horror movies when peoples arms and legs just seem to fall off.
explosions in space
arnold swartzaneggaggaggaggaggaggaggaggaggerrrrr
Car chases where the guy doesn't have the pedal pushed all the way to the floor until the camera goes there
400 gears.
5000 bullets with a heavy machine gun does nothing, but 1 pistol shot is all it takes.
The bad guy always shooting the good guy in the shoulder
THAT police sound effect, 'blah blah blah one forty eight blah blah' you could walk to the moon with clips using that sound.
horror movies when peoples arms and legs just seem to fall off.
explosions in space
arnold swartzaneggaggaggaggaggaggaggaggaggerrrrr
Freddie von Rost said:
Unfeasibly slow car/truck/4wd/tank - delete as applicable - keeping up with fast sports car or sports bike.
That's because anything above 80 or so is a really, really dangerous, hair raising speed and even Porsches, Ferraris etc really struggle to get anywhere much above the ton mark.Apparently
Here's some for Star Wars/Star Trek fans (which I found on some site somewhere whle looking for something else 
STARSHIP DIRECTIVES – Operation Cliché
Advice for the Starship Captain:
If I board a derelict ship, and it appears that the former crew and passengers recently died in some weird horrible fashion, I will immediately leave the ship, blast it, and toss the wreckage into the nearest sun.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
When combat is imminent, my ship's computer will be programmed so that enemy troops beaming aboard will be immediately beamed back into empty space, or the originating ship's reactor core if possible. It will also deliver a kilo of antimatter to the bridge of the ship in question.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
When beaming into hostile territory I will instruct my transporter chief to beam me into a defensible position, with the landing party facing outwards in a circle. I will have my weapon in my hand (not my pocket) before I beam down.
Advice for the Engineer:
I will put surge suppressors in the circuitry of my ship, so that a shot striking some distant portion does not cause a control panel on the bridge to explode killing someone.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
If any of my crew mysteriously disappears, and then returns behaving in an uncharacteristic manner, I will immediately presume that their loyalty has been compromised and not let them roam critical areas of the ship unaccompanied.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
There are three dimensions in space. I do not have to attack in the same plane as the opponent. Also, if there is a blockade – I will remember that there is infinite room above and below to circumnavigate the obstruction.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
When the medical examiner announces that the victim was bitten or eaten by "something weird that I've never seen before, probably some kind of animal", avoid the area where the biting/eating took place. If the victim is still alive, secure him/her/it in a controlled location.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
Remember, 0nce your ambush is properly set, there’s absolutely no way the enemy will walk into it.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
If my ship's drive or weapons systems require lengthy charge times between uses, I shall research and develop equipment that can handle a heavier duty cycle.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
I will hold repel-boarders drills on my ship. These drills will be held at random hours so that everyone learns what in Klotho's name they're supposed to be doing, no matter what the circumstances.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
I will design the greatest possible degree of manual back-up into my space vessels, so that when my on-board computer begins to act strangely, I can power it down via a switch located next to my seat on the bridge, and yet not be left totally helpless.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. On second thoughts, I'll shoot him then say "No."
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If one of my daughters actually manages to win the hero and openly defies me, I will congratulate her on her choice, declare a national holiday to celebrate the wedding, and proclaim the hero my heir. This will probably be enough to break up the relationship. If not, at least I am assured that no hero will attack my Legions of Terror when they are holding a parade in his honor.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
Find out where the Evil Overlord has installed the self-destruct switch for his secret base (the real switch, not the decoy), and disable it at the first opportunity. The base will get blown up anyway, but this way your chances of escaping are better.
Further Evil (Advice on Fortress Construction):
A stock of mysterious old equipment is also useful for chasing off intruders. Studies have shown that most secret agents will flee as soon as a few large and imposing items begin to emit sparks and smoke. An additional "it's about to blow" warning siren will cause more than 90% of international counterintelligence agents to run out the nearest exit without checking to see whether the smoking equipment is part of the evil plot they were trying to foil.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's Sidekick):
I will not tell the Hero about my plans to settle down after the Evil Overlord is overthrown one last time, as this will mean my imminent death.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Genius):
My high-energy sealed test chamber will only be operable from the outside by the combination of my hand and retinal print. If someone has relieved me of my hand and eye to get them, I'd rather be dead anyway.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
If the Evil Overlord orders you to kill some prisoners and then departs for business elsewhere, leave as quickly as possible; there is about to be a successful rescue attempt.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will plan in advance what to do with each of my enemies if they are captured. That way, I will never have to order someone to be tied up while I decide his fate.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If I capture the hero's starship, I will keep it in the landing bay with the ramp down, only a few token guards on duty and a ton of explosives set to go off as soon as it clears the blast-range.
Advice for the Hero:
I do not need to give the Overlord a fair chance. Shooting him in the back works for me.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's Sidekick):
If the hero tells me to stay put while he goes on ahead, I will do so instead of sneaking around and getting captured.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
Rather than having only one secret escape pod, which the hero can easily spot and follow, I'll simultaneously launch a few dozen decoys to throw him off track.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Genius):
If I really must experiment on a teenage girl, I will not choose the buxom cheerleader whose courageous and handsome boyfriend is captain of the football team. Instead, I will choose the mousy quiet girl whose only boyfriend is the nervous head of the Dungeons and Dragons club, whom I can probably co-opt if I need to.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will classify my lieutenants in three categories: untrusted, trusted, and completely trusted. Promotion to the third category will be awarded posthumously.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
Advice for the Hero:
I will not have sex with anyone before a battle. They will either die or betray me during the battle.
Advice for the Hero:
If I am forced to make a choice between saving a friend or lover and fulfilling my mission, I will remind myself that failing to accomplish the mission will probably result in their death anyway, and go on with the mission.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Legion of Doom Troops):
If your unit's name contains words like "Imperial", "Elite", "Supreme", "Tactical", "Storm" or "Special", request a transfer as soon as possible. These guys always get clobbered first when the Heroes attack.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will have a team of board-certified architects and surveyors examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels I don't know about.
Advice for the Hero:
I will never say "This one is mine!" and engage in a one-on-one struggle with the Evil Overlord or any of his henchmen; however, I might say "This one is mine!" and stand back while my comrades, by prior arrangement, pump all available firepower into the now-distracted target.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will dress in bright and cheery colours, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
Never allow yourself to be provoked into doing anything stupid by insults from the Hero or Sidekicks.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's One True Love):
I will not give sloppy, wet kisses to the Hero until I verify that he isn't related to me.
Advice for the Hero:
I will not make the sidekick wait somewhere while I go on ahead. He'll only get into worse trouble than he otherwise would.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's One True Love):
Likewise, if I catch the Hero in a compromising situation with another woman, I will give the Hero the benefit of whatever doubt might reasonably exist.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
No matter how attractive the captured heroine is or how seductively she bats her eyes, she really does not want to sleep with you. Do not unlock the cell door.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will exchange the labels on my folder of top-secret plans and my folder of family recipes. Imagine the hero's surprise when he decodes the stolen plans and finds instructions for Grandma's Potato Salad.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If I have the hero cornered and am about to finish him off and he says "Look out behind you!!" I will not laugh and say "You don't expect me to fall for that old trick, do you?" Instead I will take a step to the side and half turn. That way I can still keep my weapon trained on the hero and scan the area behind me. If anything was heading for me, it will now be heading for him.
Advice for the Hero:
I will not try to make comrades run faster by yanking on their arms. I will instead advise them to stop turning around to look at the pursuing danger (rats, lava, etc.).
Further Evil (Advice on Fortress Construction):
In an unobtrusive spot outside your fortress, plant a remotely-controlled boom box with a tape recording of a sports car speeding away. If the hero breaks in, just step into a broom closet, cue the boom box, and wait calmly while he goes off on a wild goose chase. Then come out and get back to work.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Genius):
My Android Armies will be capable of independent action, and will not rely on a central brain for coordination. Further, they will have logic-loop rejection procedures to prevent paralysis by "Everything I say is a lie" type statements.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Legion of Doom Troops):
Get plenty of firearms practice, and shoot at the Hero, not at the ground around him; kicking up lots of dirt looks cool, but it won't stop the Hero.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
Before ridiculing my enemies for wasting time on a device to stop me that couldn't possibly work, I will first acquire a copy of the schematics and make sure that in fact it couldn't possibly work.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
My force-field generators will be located inside the shield they generate.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Legion of Doom Troops):
If a prisoner suddenly takes ill, notify the Evil Overlord and await his instructions. Do not go into the cell to examine him/her yourself.
Advice for the Hero:
If my Mentor is slain in combat with the Evil Overlord or his henchmen, I will withdraw quietly, instead of shouting "Noooooo!" at the top of my lungs.
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Things will get worse before they will get better -- and who said things would get better?
• If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
• The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins.
• Radios will fail as soon as you desperately need fire support.
• Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
• Design flaws travel in groups.
• It is physically impossible to carry too much ammo.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Too much ammo, no such thing!
If at first you don't succeed, call in an air-strike.
If you make it too tough for the enemy to get in, you can't get out.
STARSHIP DIRECTIVES – Operation Cliché
Advice for the Starship Captain:
If I board a derelict ship, and it appears that the former crew and passengers recently died in some weird horrible fashion, I will immediately leave the ship, blast it, and toss the wreckage into the nearest sun.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
When combat is imminent, my ship's computer will be programmed so that enemy troops beaming aboard will be immediately beamed back into empty space, or the originating ship's reactor core if possible. It will also deliver a kilo of antimatter to the bridge of the ship in question.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
When beaming into hostile territory I will instruct my transporter chief to beam me into a defensible position, with the landing party facing outwards in a circle. I will have my weapon in my hand (not my pocket) before I beam down.
Advice for the Engineer:
I will put surge suppressors in the circuitry of my ship, so that a shot striking some distant portion does not cause a control panel on the bridge to explode killing someone.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
If any of my crew mysteriously disappears, and then returns behaving in an uncharacteristic manner, I will immediately presume that their loyalty has been compromised and not let them roam critical areas of the ship unaccompanied.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
There are three dimensions in space. I do not have to attack in the same plane as the opponent. Also, if there is a blockade – I will remember that there is infinite room above and below to circumnavigate the obstruction.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
When the medical examiner announces that the victim was bitten or eaten by "something weird that I've never seen before, probably some kind of animal", avoid the area where the biting/eating took place. If the victim is still alive, secure him/her/it in a controlled location.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
Remember, 0nce your ambush is properly set, there’s absolutely no way the enemy will walk into it.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
If my ship's drive or weapons systems require lengthy charge times between uses, I shall research and develop equipment that can handle a heavier duty cycle.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
I will hold repel-boarders drills on my ship. These drills will be held at random hours so that everyone learns what in Klotho's name they're supposed to be doing, no matter what the circumstances.
Advice for the Starship Captain:
I will design the greatest possible degree of manual back-up into my space vessels, so that when my on-board computer begins to act strangely, I can power it down via a switch located next to my seat on the bridge, and yet not be left totally helpless.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. On second thoughts, I'll shoot him then say "No."
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If one of my daughters actually manages to win the hero and openly defies me, I will congratulate her on her choice, declare a national holiday to celebrate the wedding, and proclaim the hero my heir. This will probably be enough to break up the relationship. If not, at least I am assured that no hero will attack my Legions of Terror when they are holding a parade in his honor.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
Find out where the Evil Overlord has installed the self-destruct switch for his secret base (the real switch, not the decoy), and disable it at the first opportunity. The base will get blown up anyway, but this way your chances of escaping are better.
Further Evil (Advice on Fortress Construction):
A stock of mysterious old equipment is also useful for chasing off intruders. Studies have shown that most secret agents will flee as soon as a few large and imposing items begin to emit sparks and smoke. An additional "it's about to blow" warning siren will cause more than 90% of international counterintelligence agents to run out the nearest exit without checking to see whether the smoking equipment is part of the evil plot they were trying to foil.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's Sidekick):
I will not tell the Hero about my plans to settle down after the Evil Overlord is overthrown one last time, as this will mean my imminent death.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Genius):
My high-energy sealed test chamber will only be operable from the outside by the combination of my hand and retinal print. If someone has relieved me of my hand and eye to get them, I'd rather be dead anyway.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
If the Evil Overlord orders you to kill some prisoners and then departs for business elsewhere, leave as quickly as possible; there is about to be a successful rescue attempt.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will plan in advance what to do with each of my enemies if they are captured. That way, I will never have to order someone to be tied up while I decide his fate.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If I capture the hero's starship, I will keep it in the landing bay with the ramp down, only a few token guards on duty and a ton of explosives set to go off as soon as it clears the blast-range.
Advice for the Hero:
I do not need to give the Overlord a fair chance. Shooting him in the back works for me.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's Sidekick):
If the hero tells me to stay put while he goes on ahead, I will do so instead of sneaking around and getting captured.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
Rather than having only one secret escape pod, which the hero can easily spot and follow, I'll simultaneously launch a few dozen decoys to throw him off track.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Genius):
If I really must experiment on a teenage girl, I will not choose the buxom cheerleader whose courageous and handsome boyfriend is captain of the football team. Instead, I will choose the mousy quiet girl whose only boyfriend is the nervous head of the Dungeons and Dragons club, whom I can probably co-opt if I need to.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will classify my lieutenants in three categories: untrusted, trusted, and completely trusted. Promotion to the third category will be awarded posthumously.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
Advice for the Hero:
I will not have sex with anyone before a battle. They will either die or betray me during the battle.
Advice for the Hero:
If I am forced to make a choice between saving a friend or lover and fulfilling my mission, I will remind myself that failing to accomplish the mission will probably result in their death anyway, and go on with the mission.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Legion of Doom Troops):
If your unit's name contains words like "Imperial", "Elite", "Supreme", "Tactical", "Storm" or "Special", request a transfer as soon as possible. These guys always get clobbered first when the Heroes attack.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will have a team of board-certified architects and surveyors examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels I don't know about.
Advice for the Hero:
I will never say "This one is mine!" and engage in a one-on-one struggle with the Evil Overlord or any of his henchmen; however, I might say "This one is mine!" and stand back while my comrades, by prior arrangement, pump all available firepower into the now-distracted target.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will dress in bright and cheery colours, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
Never allow yourself to be provoked into doing anything stupid by insults from the Hero or Sidekicks.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's One True Love):
I will not give sloppy, wet kisses to the Hero until I verify that he isn't related to me.
Advice for the Hero:
I will not make the sidekick wait somewhere while I go on ahead. He'll only get into worse trouble than he otherwise would.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's One True Love):
Likewise, if I catch the Hero in a compromising situation with another woman, I will give the Hero the benefit of whatever doubt might reasonably exist.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
No matter how attractive the captured heroine is or how seductively she bats her eyes, she really does not want to sleep with you. Do not unlock the cell door.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
I will exchange the labels on my folder of top-secret plans and my folder of family recipes. Imagine the hero's surprise when he decodes the stolen plans and finds instructions for Grandma's Potato Salad.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If I have the hero cornered and am about to finish him off and he says "Look out behind you!!" I will not laugh and say "You don't expect me to fall for that old trick, do you?" Instead I will take a step to the side and half turn. That way I can still keep my weapon trained on the hero and scan the area behind me. If anything was heading for me, it will now be heading for him.
Advice for the Hero:
I will not try to make comrades run faster by yanking on their arms. I will instead advise them to stop turning around to look at the pursuing danger (rats, lava, etc.).
Further Evil (Advice on Fortress Construction):
In an unobtrusive spot outside your fortress, plant a remotely-controlled boom box with a tape recording of a sports car speeding away. If the hero breaks in, just step into a broom closet, cue the boom box, and wait calmly while he goes off on a wild goose chase. Then come out and get back to work.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Genius):
My Android Armies will be capable of independent action, and will not rely on a central brain for coordination. Further, they will have logic-loop rejection procedures to prevent paralysis by "Everything I say is a lie" type statements.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Legion of Doom Troops):
Get plenty of firearms practice, and shoot at the Hero, not at the ground around him; kicking up lots of dirt looks cool, but it won't stop the Hero.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
Before ridiculing my enemies for wasting time on a device to stop me that couldn't possibly work, I will first acquire a copy of the schematics and make sure that in fact it couldn't possibly work.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
Advice for the Evil Overlord:
My force-field generators will be located inside the shield they generate.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Legion of Doom Troops):
If a prisoner suddenly takes ill, notify the Evil Overlord and await his instructions. Do not go into the cell to examine him/her yourself.
Advice for the Hero:
If my Mentor is slain in combat with the Evil Overlord or his henchmen, I will withdraw quietly, instead of shouting "Noooooo!" at the top of my lungs.
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Things will get worse before they will get better -- and who said things would get better?
• If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
• The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins.
• Radios will fail as soon as you desperately need fire support.
• Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
• Design flaws travel in groups.
• It is physically impossible to carry too much ammo.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Too much ammo, no such thing!
If at first you don't succeed, call in an air-strike.
If you make it too tough for the enemy to get in, you can't get out.
ALL military squads consist of
- Tough, battle weary but ultimately kindly sergeant
- Out of his depth young officer
- Psychopathic one
- One who talks about his plans after the war (dies)
- The religious one who goes nuts
- The non white one
- The cheeky wise cracking one from London or Brooklyn
No one ever gets hurt by shrapnel or ricochets
All RAF fighters in WW2 were Spitfires flown by English public school boys
No pedestrians ever get hit during a car chase
You can jump into any vehicle and know instantly where all the controls are and drive it like a pro
Any shopping bags will have a French stick in them
Anyone who coughs has a terminal disease and will be dead before the movie ends
- Tough, battle weary but ultimately kindly sergeant
- Out of his depth young officer
- Psychopathic one
- One who talks about his plans after the war (dies)
- The religious one who goes nuts
- The non white one
- The cheeky wise cracking one from London or Brooklyn
No one ever gets hurt by shrapnel or ricochets
All RAF fighters in WW2 were Spitfires flown by English public school boys
No pedestrians ever get hit during a car chase
You can jump into any vehicle and know instantly where all the controls are and drive it like a pro
Any shopping bags will have a French stick in them
Anyone who coughs has a terminal disease and will be dead before the movie ends
The fact that noone seems to be able to aim a gun, and even then statistically after the millions of rounds that have been fired they still all miss which is just cock. Unless ofcourse the good guy takes careful aim with his piston and shoots down the helecopter from 2 miles away, whilst pulling the girl.
And that fact that the bad guys seem to feel the need to f
k around tormenting the good guy, why cant u just shoot him and get on with it? 
And that fact that the bad guys seem to feel the need to f
k around tormenting the good guy, why cant u just shoot him and get on with it? HA51EMT said:
Every computer can connect to any other computer anywhere in the world,universe the password can be cracked in a zillionth of a second and the first file they find is the one they need and can fit on a 3.5" floppy.
Plus the file can be read on any computer because it has the right software on it.
EFA, and all the aliens throught the entire cosmos all use windows based software, but don't have anti-virus.Plus the file can be read on any computer because it has the right software on it.
(Yes, Independance Day, I am talking about you!)
Jon C said:
HA51EMT said:
Every computer can connect to any other computer anywhere in the world,universe the password can be cracked in a zillionth of a second and the first file they find is the one they need and can fit on a 3.5" floppy.
Plus the file can be read on any computer because it has the right software on it.
EFA, and all the aliens throught the entire cosmos all use windows based software, but don't have anti-virus.Plus the file can be read on any computer because it has the right software on it.
(Yes, Independance Day, I am talking about you!)
onlynik said:
Jon C said:
HA51EMT said:
Every computer can connect to any other computer anywhere in the world,universe the password can be cracked in a zillionth of a second and the first file they find is the one they need and can fit on a 3.5" floppy.
Plus the file can be read on any computer because it has the right software on it.
EFA, and all the aliens throught the entire cosmos all use windows based software, but don't have anti-virus.Plus the file can be read on any computer because it has the right software on it.
(Yes, Independance Day, I am talking about you!)
The aliens would hardly have made it as far as Earth if they had to rely on something with Microsoft Windows of the period installed!
A couple that really annoy me:
Nobody can shoot straight, even highly trained speial agents just pull a gun and start firing randomly missing anything that moves at point blank range, I have never seen anyone in a film pull out there gun, spot the target, line up the shot and pull the trigger?
And when people do manage to hit something..... People not getting hurt by or noticing gun shots, if somebody shot me in the leg with a 9mm I'd be on the floor screaming from the ruptured flesh and searing burns. Not running after the bad guy with a slight limp.
The legendary 'L' shaped bed covers. Always in a bed scene man and women lead next to each other, the cover is up to the mans wasit but up to the women chest.
If you get shot point blank in the head with a 9mm you will not have a small hole in your head.
If you jump out of a moving car you will bust your ankles and rip all the skin off your limbs, you will not role along and then jump up with no effects.
Why when there is a car chase crashing through traffic aren't people going mental trying to get insurance details?
Why do mini guns never have the lorry battery they need to run the motor?
Nobody can shoot straight, even highly trained speial agents just pull a gun and start firing randomly missing anything that moves at point blank range, I have never seen anyone in a film pull out there gun, spot the target, line up the shot and pull the trigger?
And when people do manage to hit something..... People not getting hurt by or noticing gun shots, if somebody shot me in the leg with a 9mm I'd be on the floor screaming from the ruptured flesh and searing burns. Not running after the bad guy with a slight limp.
The legendary 'L' shaped bed covers. Always in a bed scene man and women lead next to each other, the cover is up to the mans wasit but up to the women chest.
If you get shot point blank in the head with a 9mm you will not have a small hole in your head.
If you jump out of a moving car you will bust your ankles and rip all the skin off your limbs, you will not role along and then jump up with no effects.
Why when there is a car chase crashing through traffic aren't people going mental trying to get insurance details?
Why do mini guns never have the lorry battery they need to run the motor?
Cpn Jack Spanner said:
onlynik said:
Jon C said:
HA51EMT said:
Every computer can connect to any other computer anywhere in the world,universe the password can be cracked in a zillionth of a second and the first file they find is the one they need and can fit on a 3.5" floppy.
Plus the file can be read on any computer because it has the right software on it.
EFA, and all the aliens throught the entire cosmos all use windows based software, but don't have anti-virus.Plus the file can be read on any computer because it has the right software on it.
(Yes, Independance Day, I am talking about you!)
The aliens would hardly have made it as far as Earth if they had to rely on something with Microsoft Windows of the period installed!
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