Throwing it all away?
Discussion
Trying2GoFast said:
So let me preface this by saying that I understand how fortunate I am in my situation. I’m not some powerfully built CEO but at 27, myself and my wife live a comfortable life with our dog.
I’ve been an engineer now for 9 years or so. 7.5 years in automotive and latterly in aerospace. We have a nice house, a decent garden and family local. We are paid well, but not stupidly dizzy figures. My folks aren’t in the best of health but my wife’s are fine, generally speaking.
Recently I’ve had an existential crisis - not really sure how I want to progress my career nor whether I’d like to even stay in engineering. I have hobbies outside of work like gardening, coffee and sourdough, and long for the time where I can buy a small holding and just live off the land.
For some reason I see myself as a business owner, but I just can’t get my head around it. Love digging holes and basic groundwork, and also putting things back and creating functional but practical spaces. Of course I know that this doesn’t mean I’m now qualified to do landscaping or anything but I can’t help but think if it’d be a career more suited to my personal perspectives.
Basically a bit of a rant but I can’t help but feel that it’s not normal to feel this way at 27, and so early in my career.
Suppose I’m looking for advice really on what to do, but also would appreciate some of the usual “stop being an idiot you’ve got it made” comments to snap me back to reality.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right?
I think a lot of adults really would like a complete career change. I worked with a guy who was an IT Analyst, and really wanted to be a landscape gardener. Another guy was a database admin and really wanted to be an electrician.I’ve been an engineer now for 9 years or so. 7.5 years in automotive and latterly in aerospace. We have a nice house, a decent garden and family local. We are paid well, but not stupidly dizzy figures. My folks aren’t in the best of health but my wife’s are fine, generally speaking.
Recently I’ve had an existential crisis - not really sure how I want to progress my career nor whether I’d like to even stay in engineering. I have hobbies outside of work like gardening, coffee and sourdough, and long for the time where I can buy a small holding and just live off the land.
For some reason I see myself as a business owner, but I just can’t get my head around it. Love digging holes and basic groundwork, and also putting things back and creating functional but practical spaces. Of course I know that this doesn’t mean I’m now qualified to do landscaping or anything but I can’t help but think if it’d be a career more suited to my personal perspectives.
Basically a bit of a rant but I can’t help but feel that it’s not normal to feel this way at 27, and so early in my career.
Suppose I’m looking for advice really on what to do, but also would appreciate some of the usual “stop being an idiot you’ve got it made” comments to snap me back to reality.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right?
Simple "manual" labour holds a certain appeal.
I would suggest that with any of those things you think you'd like to do, you could start part time at them - perhaps doing gardening at the weekend and working up from there. Or doing outside maintenance for people in the evenings and weekend. See how it goes.
One of their things will happen - either you'll find you really dont like it like you thought you would, or you'll see the potential of it and seek to expand it. Perhaps at that point, see if you can go part time at work, or take some extended time off. OR, it becomes a good part time hobby / job which you're happy to continue.
I think the worst thing you could do would be to throw what you have away, attempt to retrain, then start from zero. In reality a level of career change like that might require 2 years commitment before you're really earning. Take your net pay and multiplay it by 24 and see if you're happy rolling that amount on a dice on being successful.
Be aware though that -
(a) you'll hear about the success stories, but not all the people it didnt work out for
(b) when you pitch the idea to friends and family, they'll invariably go "yes thats a brilliant idea, i think you could really make that work", when in reality they just want to be nice.
Edited by Deep Thought on Wednesday 5th July 19:23
You don't have kids? That makes it all the more easy.
Anyway. I've been in Engineering for 35 plus years and I reckon I've enjoyed 35 days of it. It's just a constant stream of not knowing enough, and having to do more research and do more experiments and argue for the right resources and people. It's like pushing a large wheel up hill some days.
Get out whilst you f
king can.
Now I've met a few people who've taken the odd career break.
One bloke I worked with and his wife, got to 30, and put their house up for rent, and went backpacking for a year, came back, did the same job fir 5 years and put thier second house up for rent, and went backpacking.
One of my cousins, gave up a good job, and her and her husband and 2 kids drove a camper van around Europe for a year. Home schooled the kids.
Another bloke, went part time, 3 days a week, rented a workshop and started making stuff for the VW fanatic. Employed his retired uncle and his uncle mate on an adhoc basis.
Anyway. I've been in Engineering for 35 plus years and I reckon I've enjoyed 35 days of it. It's just a constant stream of not knowing enough, and having to do more research and do more experiments and argue for the right resources and people. It's like pushing a large wheel up hill some days.
Get out whilst you f
king can.Now I've met a few people who've taken the odd career break.
One bloke I worked with and his wife, got to 30, and put their house up for rent, and went backpacking for a year, came back, did the same job fir 5 years and put thier second house up for rent, and went backpacking.
One of my cousins, gave up a good job, and her and her husband and 2 kids drove a camper van around Europe for a year. Home schooled the kids.
Another bloke, went part time, 3 days a week, rented a workshop and started making stuff for the VW fanatic. Employed his retired uncle and his uncle mate on an adhoc basis.
Trying2GoFast said:
Is that a landscaping firm, or something else? Appreciate that not everyone is made to be a business owner, but I feel so wasted as an engineer in a (lets be honest) place where you don't really do engineering any more. I'm effectively a glorified email sender.
No my firm is in IT and technology based infrastructure Feeling like a glorified email sender really isn't ideal thats for sure.
I have a few close friends who do have landscaping firms and none have an easy ride. Insurance is expensive, labour unreliable and customers never happy
Thanks for the replies everyone. I’ve read all of them. I think it kind of summarises the thoughts in my head and trying to figure out the pros vs cons. Ultimately I likely won’t do anything until our extension is finished and our house more saleable.
Important to note that our plan was to downsize a bit and release equity - we’d be able to live mortgage-less and go to a job that is probably less stress, yet still cover bills. I’d probably buy a field at some point then and work on that.
I’m thinking it’ll happen eventually, but this has given me the push to realise it’s probably needing to happen sooner rather than later. Things get more difficult with kids etc. as a few of you have pointed out.
Thanks for the comments everyone though, I do appreciate them.
Important to note that our plan was to downsize a bit and release equity - we’d be able to live mortgage-less and go to a job that is probably less stress, yet still cover bills. I’d probably buy a field at some point then and work on that.
I’m thinking it’ll happen eventually, but this has given me the push to realise it’s probably needing to happen sooner rather than later. Things get more difficult with kids etc. as a few of you have pointed out.
Thanks for the comments everyone though, I do appreciate them.
I'm a bit further on. Had small holding for 5 years now but need the day job to pay for it. So I use the house and the land and the animals and tractor as the incentive to keep going until such time I can manufacture a retirement plan. The one definitely compensates the other, but you need the job and cash as smallholdings aren't cheap and breaking even is a struggle on its own!
Go for it OP, it's easy to find yourself trapped in a 'golden cage' as an employee.
I'm a chartered engineer but have found myself in more of a management role. Pay is good, final salary pension, 45 days annual leave per year plus bank holidays. Most of all the work life balance I think would be hard to beat as the father of two young children. I also own a share in a local bar, I'm not hugely passionate about what I do if I'm honest but I'm also confident when I retire I can look back and have no regrets. I'd love to sack off the day job and run the bar full time, get in the kitchen and cook, but that would be about a 75% pay cut, more stressful and have far less time to spend with the family.
Have a go, and find something you're passionate about. You've skills and qualifications to fall back on if it doesn't work out.
I'm a chartered engineer but have found myself in more of a management role. Pay is good, final salary pension, 45 days annual leave per year plus bank holidays. Most of all the work life balance I think would be hard to beat as the father of two young children. I also own a share in a local bar, I'm not hugely passionate about what I do if I'm honest but I'm also confident when I retire I can look back and have no regrets. I'd love to sack off the day job and run the bar full time, get in the kitchen and cook, but that would be about a 75% pay cut, more stressful and have far less time to spend with the family.
Have a go, and find something you're passionate about. You've skills and qualifications to fall back on if it doesn't work out.
I think ultimately you need to treat your job for what it is....minimal effort, take the wage and make sure you have enough energy (both mental and physical) at the end of the day to do what you enjoy.
If your job is making it so you can't enjoy your spare time, then leave and find that balance.
If that balance is 100% throwing yourself into something else, then do it.
Easier said than done though.
If your job is making it so you can't enjoy your spare time, then leave and find that balance.
If that balance is 100% throwing yourself into something else, then do it.
Easier said than done though.
I did it. Got to 32, was not enjoying working in the IT sector and saw a job opening for a car company, working in a kind of sales and delivery hybrid role.
Long story short, it didn't work for a variety of reasons and I was able to go back to IT after a couple of years.
Don't burn your bridges as your skills and experience are still useful.
Long story short, it didn't work for a variety of reasons and I was able to go back to IT after a couple of years.
Don't burn your bridges as your skills and experience are still useful.
I’m nearly 40 and feeling the same, on the tools in engineering, never ending learning, expected to have time served electrical and mechanical knowledge about equipment you have never seen before, no time to learn or go on courses etc,
left sports management at 30 to do this because I liked fixing stuff, I enjoy the work but also own land that needs work and I’m coming home physically worn out sometimes, think about that when changing jobs, you said you like gardening and stuff but imagine doing 10 hours graft in work then working more when you come home?!
I’m thinking about learning programming for a more sedate life in work so I’ve got plenty of energy for manual stuff at home
left sports management at 30 to do this because I liked fixing stuff, I enjoy the work but also own land that needs work and I’m coming home physically worn out sometimes, think about that when changing jobs, you said you like gardening and stuff but imagine doing 10 hours graft in work then working more when you come home?!
I’m thinking about learning programming for a more sedate life in work so I’ve got plenty of energy for manual stuff at home
I just had a thought. You are not throwing it all away but have in fact managed to get to the stage where you can afford to change. I did the same about 15 years ago (35 years old or so). Money gave me choices and I choose to turn my back on stressful, meaningless corporate life.
Edited by Hoofy on Saturday 8th July 11:05
Trying2GoFast said:
Yeah - the age thing doesn't really bother me too much but I guess what you are describing is right. Never even knew 1/4 life crises were a thing honestly.
It's true that my hobbies are sad and quite solitary - they're like that for a reason. I also do like cars and motorbikes. Only issue being that we are extending in the immediate future so all cash going there - no chance to buy stupid cars or bikes!
I'm not taken by travelling in honesty. Yes it's lovely to go somewhere hot or new, but I generally struggle with different social environments and feel really out of my comfort zone when abroad. I'll let the mrs know about the affair and see what she says. I'm sure she'd be game.
I'm quite similar in that many of my hobbies are solitary and can struggle in different social environments. How do you feel about building a rapport with potential and existing customers? It's true that my hobbies are sad and quite solitary - they're like that for a reason. I also do like cars and motorbikes. Only issue being that we are extending in the immediate future so all cash going there - no chance to buy stupid cars or bikes!
I'm not taken by travelling in honesty. Yes it's lovely to go somewhere hot or new, but I generally struggle with different social environments and feel really out of my comfort zone when abroad. I'll let the mrs know about the affair and see what she says. I'm sure she'd be game.
In the modern world, a year or two out doing something entrepreneurial won’t count against you.
I left a well paid career in my late 20s to launch a business, and although it ultimately didn’t succeed, what I learnt in those 4 years put me on a different path at a different level when I returned to employment. So technically and financially, not a success, but for life experience and career, I am so glad I did it, I wouldn’t be where I am now otherwise.
So my advice is to do it, just be as prepared as you can be financially, to give you the longest period “having a go” as you can. And change that mindset! Risking “throwing it all away” is a huge barrier to get over. Instead just treat it as a kind of sabbatical from which you may or may not return, and give yourself permission to try it, enjoy it, and be glad you did, whether it proves to be a new career in itself or not.
I left a well paid career in my late 20s to launch a business, and although it ultimately didn’t succeed, what I learnt in those 4 years put me on a different path at a different level when I returned to employment. So technically and financially, not a success, but for life experience and career, I am so glad I did it, I wouldn’t be where I am now otherwise.
So my advice is to do it, just be as prepared as you can be financially, to give you the longest period “having a go” as you can. And change that mindset! Risking “throwing it all away” is a huge barrier to get over. Instead just treat it as a kind of sabbatical from which you may or may not return, and give yourself permission to try it, enjoy it, and be glad you did, whether it proves to be a new career in itself or not.
When mentoring others of a similar age to yourself (being twice that age myself and having had a couple of career changes forced upon me!), I would outline career changes can be the most stimulating periods of your life.
New challenges (they will exist) new contacts, new friends.
I would also hazard you have so much runway still in front of you to change / adapt further if your call turns out differently to expected.
As other posters mention, mitigate the actual move if you wish by starting while you’re still employed by others, but make it real, tell people and it’s more likely to materialise.
It would be much easier looking at 2 balance sheets at month end and having to make a call on which path to choose than working full time and just thinking about what the alternative can be, but I would expect at your level you could maybe consult a couple of days to bolster finances in your existing subject if needs be while you build your start up.
Finally, if there is to be a differential in terms of finance from one to the other, you would adapt either way if budgets are done correctly and cut cloth accordingly.
Twice I’ve dropped to 50% of a decent salary via moves that allowed me to try something completely different, the money matters obviously but just consider you are buying experiences others can only dream about.
Keep us posted, it’s great to see this kind of thing as it can be hugely motivational for others wanting to take control of their working destiny!
New challenges (they will exist) new contacts, new friends.
I would also hazard you have so much runway still in front of you to change / adapt further if your call turns out differently to expected.
As other posters mention, mitigate the actual move if you wish by starting while you’re still employed by others, but make it real, tell people and it’s more likely to materialise.
It would be much easier looking at 2 balance sheets at month end and having to make a call on which path to choose than working full time and just thinking about what the alternative can be, but I would expect at your level you could maybe consult a couple of days to bolster finances in your existing subject if needs be while you build your start up.
Finally, if there is to be a differential in terms of finance from one to the other, you would adapt either way if budgets are done correctly and cut cloth accordingly.
Twice I’ve dropped to 50% of a decent salary via moves that allowed me to try something completely different, the money matters obviously but just consider you are buying experiences others can only dream about.
Keep us posted, it’s great to see this kind of thing as it can be hugely motivational for others wanting to take control of their working destiny!
Ive got little interest in my job as a maintenance technician but try to take all the positives from it really.
It allows me to have a decent lifestyle and small amounts of stress.
Id love to jack tomorrow but just dont know what id do tbh especially at 50 and still with a fair size mortgage.
It allows me to have a decent lifestyle and small amounts of stress.
Id love to jack tomorrow but just dont know what id do tbh especially at 50 and still with a fair size mortgage.
Alright everyone. I did read every comment here and thought I’d give a bit of an update.
Although maybe not 100% of what we originally wanted, we have made some changes. Firstly, I’ve gotten a new job outside of aerospace and back in automotive, with a bit of a pay bump. Passion for work has returned and this has had a great impact on my outlook on a lot of things (also added thanks to Rog for helping me finesse my CV).
My wife has also started trying to look to move roles, and this, too, has helped a lot. She’s not been successful yet but at least it’s something.
We (maybe stupidly) have also sold our “forever” home. This was somewhat calculated, and we’ve had an offer accepted for an 1800s cottage in a village just south of Daventry. Whilst this might not have been an absolute ideal with not having the 2 acres of land that I want, or massive house, and reducing mortgage, it does give us space from family and gets me into a period of house that I like. It’s also an excuse for a slower pace of life, and to buy many more tools. It also has a bit of a reduction on the mortgage.
We are still a world away from where we’d like to be, but it’s hopefully a step in the right direction.
Thought you all deserved an update on this from my previous moping.
Although maybe not 100% of what we originally wanted, we have made some changes. Firstly, I’ve gotten a new job outside of aerospace and back in automotive, with a bit of a pay bump. Passion for work has returned and this has had a great impact on my outlook on a lot of things (also added thanks to Rog for helping me finesse my CV).
My wife has also started trying to look to move roles, and this, too, has helped a lot. She’s not been successful yet but at least it’s something.
We (maybe stupidly) have also sold our “forever” home. This was somewhat calculated, and we’ve had an offer accepted for an 1800s cottage in a village just south of Daventry. Whilst this might not have been an absolute ideal with not having the 2 acres of land that I want, or massive house, and reducing mortgage, it does give us space from family and gets me into a period of house that I like. It’s also an excuse for a slower pace of life, and to buy many more tools. It also has a bit of a reduction on the mortgage.
We are still a world away from where we’d like to be, but it’s hopefully a step in the right direction.
Thought you all deserved an update on this from my previous moping.
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