Newly promoted, staff call me "mate". Cause for concern?
Discussion
So, here I am, in a new role, managing people who are older, and have more experience than me.
And a couple of them have taken to calling me "mate" in conversation.
Call me old fashioned, but I wouldn't call my line manager that.
I don't want to make a deal but should I just ignore it, and put it down to me feeling a bit green and sensitive?
And a couple of them have taken to calling me "mate" in conversation.
Call me old fashioned, but I wouldn't call my line manager that.
I don't want to make a deal but should I just ignore it, and put it down to me feeling a bit green and sensitive?
They could be doing it as their own way of creating a friendly working atmosphere and if you could mess any chance of that happening if you have a go at them about it straight away. Figure out in what context it is meant first and figure it out based on the way its working. If they are trying to be friendly with you to make the day easier it won't help very much if you put them down bit if they are just taking the pi55 and not doing anything for you you then have cause for concern. You never know you could just have a decent group of lads working for you that will want to work harder for you if they see you as a decent, down to earth guy.
Leading a team is about making them believe that you and they are all in it together to save each other and the company from failure caused by the bosses bad ideas.
I've been called Boss, Mr Jackson, Jacko Lah, Mate, Mark, Pal, and behind my back who knows. I'd never bother to ask them to change unless it was rude to my face. I used to get pissed off with jacko, but hey.
I have always called subordinates as MR XXX or Mrs XXXX especially if they are older than me, unless they ask me to call them by thier first name. I never call my boss by anything other than his first name and NEVER shorten it. He may not want me to see myself as equal, but I have more experience, but don't actually want the hassle his job brings. We are different but in a professional relationship I expect respect.
Anyone that calls me Mate still gets called Mr XXX
I've been called Boss, Mr Jackson, Jacko Lah, Mate, Mark, Pal, and behind my back who knows. I'd never bother to ask them to change unless it was rude to my face. I used to get pissed off with jacko, but hey.
I have always called subordinates as MR XXX or Mrs XXXX especially if they are older than me, unless they ask me to call them by thier first name. I never call my boss by anything other than his first name and NEVER shorten it. He may not want me to see myself as equal, but I have more experience, but don't actually want the hassle his job brings. We are different but in a professional relationship I expect respect.
Anyone that calls me Mate still gets called Mr XXX
Shabs said:
where the hell do you work man, on a shop floor? I suggest you get over it, managers are nothing without the respect of their team(s) and you can't get respect by acting like a 15 year old
+10I can't believe, in 2009, that I just read the OP's post.
I think the first thing he needs to do is ask his own boss to send him on a team management course, because if he brings up his current concern at the next team meeting he'll be lucky to get away with being dumped in a skip at the end of the working day.
Edited by V8mate on Thursday 4th June 14:54
prand said:
So, here I am, in a new role, managing people who are older, and have more experience than me.
And a couple of them have taken to calling me "mate" in conversation.
Call me old fashioned, but I wouldn't call my line manager that.
I don't want to make a deal but should I just ignore it, and put it down to me feeling a bit green and sensitive?
Unless you're in the Armed Forces or the Police, ignore it.And a couple of them have taken to calling me "mate" in conversation.
Call me old fashioned, but I wouldn't call my line manager that.
I don't want to make a deal but should I just ignore it, and put it down to me feeling a bit green and sensitive?
IMO, there's nothing wrong with that term in everyday conversation in the office. If you push the point you'll look like a cock and no-one will respect you.
"Mate" seems to be the generic term nowadays; I'm certainly called it every day at work, by my team and people in other departments, I don’t take offence.
On the flip side in a previous job I worked quite closely with a very old fashioned MD who insisted on being called "Sir", I found it very awkward!
On the flip side in a previous job I worked quite closely with a very old fashioned MD who insisted on being called "Sir", I found it very awkward!
TVR Moneypit said:
V8mate said:
Shabs said:
where the hell do you work man, on a shop floor? I suggest you get over it, managers are nothing without the respect of their team(s) and you can't get respect by acting like a 15 year old
+10I can't believe, in 2009, that I just read the OP's post.
I think the first thing he needs to do is ask his own boss to send him on a team management course, because if he brings up his current concern at the next team meeting he'll be lucky to get away with being dumped in a skip at the end of the working day.
Those who try too hard to be the boss / get respect often fail.
Like I said, I might be old fashioned, as its just not something I would say to my manager (or any of my "mates" at that either), so I was checking with the virtual sounding board that is PH what you all thought. I'm now very much on the straight and narrow.
Thanks all, I'll go back to practicing my snappy motivational one-liners, and snooping through my team's emails for non-work related messages.
Edited by prand on Thursday 4th June 17:11
s off his team by telling them they have to use formal titles all the time as there is no respect, the respect he will earn by setting them straight will be a fat zero
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