waiter unhappy with tip

Author
Discussion

anonymous-user

56 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Kermit power said:
Roman Rhodes said:
Your "rarely if ever" is simply wrong not only for the fact that the service charge is often built in to the bill (and not necessarily as obvious as the % shown at the bottom of a UK bill - e.g. pane e coperto in Italy).
You're contradicting yourself in one sentence, and you're just plain wrong, I'm afraid.

Nobody is suggesting that waiters should serve you for free, so of course the service charge is included in the bill! In fact, it has to be included by law in France, and every restaurant bill you get will say that service is included on the bill. There is no expectation that you will tip on top of this for a meal there for this reason.

With regards to pane & coperto, it's been quite a long while since I was charged for that in Italy. I certainly wasn't on any of 6 restaurant meals I had in Milan in July, and I would've noticed, as I'm trying to lose a bit of weight, so specifically refused any bread.

Spain? There is simply no expectation that you'll tip, and nobody does outside tourist traps with lots of Americans in them.

There are essentially three ways in which countries pay waiters...

1. The US. Restaurants are allowed to pay staff at significantly below minimum wage because of the expectation of tipping. Yes, you're right, I find the whole restaurant experience there excrutiatingly awful, but I still tip because I know they're not on wages that allow them to live without the tip.

2. Spain, France & Italy and others like them where the waiters are paid fairly and don't expect a tip on top.

3. The UK, where oddly we have fairly paid waiters (certainly compared to any job requiring a comparable skillset and qualifications) yet people still follow an outdated protocol and tip more on top.

Roman Rhodes said:
Perhaps your experience is coloured by the fact that you are on business and no-one has the facility to claim the tip back (and all are equally reluctant to fund the tip from their own pockets - i.e. tight).
confused

I've never worked for a place where I couldn't claim the tip back, and if I ever have to go to the States, of course I claim the tip back. I don't claim the tip back in France, Spain or Italy, because people don't tip in those countries.

Roman Rhodes said:
There is however plenty of guidance as to tipping customs and etiquette online - all of which says you are incorrect regarding France, Italy and Spain.
No there really isn't. There's the occasional thing suggesting that you might leave a few coins, but the overwhelming majority point out that service is already included, and that you're not expected to tip. When I lived in France & Spain, custom was simply to leave the shrapnel - anything less than a franc or 100ptas - but nowadays people just don't, and anything suggesting you do is completely out of date.

The custom has changed because people almost invariably pay by card, these days, just as they do here. I have never ever been presented with a card machine in France, Spain or Italy which provides the option to add a tip, and since taxis have generally started accepting cards, certainly in Milan & Madrid, I just don't have any change. On my last few trips, I haven't even bothered taking any actual Euros, as I wouldn't have any need for them.

The only people I've ever seen digging around for cash for a tip in a French, Spanish or Italian restaurant have been British or American colleagues, and invariably our local colleagues will just tell them not to worry about it, as it's not customary to tip waiters. You're welcome to find as many online etiquette experts as you like, but it won't change the actual facts of being there.
You simply have no clue - educate yourself!

bad company

18,886 posts

268 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
I’m not going to join the argument but just Googled tipping in Spain.

http://www.andalucia.com/travel/tipping/home.htm

Kermit power

28,917 posts

215 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Roman Rhodes said:
Kermit power said:
Roman Rhodes said:
Your "rarely if ever" is simply wrong not only for the fact that the service charge is often built in to the bill (and not necessarily as obvious as the % shown at the bottom of a UK bill - e.g. pane e coperto in Italy).
You're contradicting yourself in one sentence, and you're just plain wrong, I'm afraid.

Nobody is suggesting that waiters should serve you for free, so of course the service charge is included in the bill! In fact, it has to be included by law in France, and every restaurant bill you get will say that service is included on the bill. There is no expectation that you will tip on top of this for a meal there for this reason.

With regards to pane & coperto, it's been quite a long while since I was charged for that in Italy. I certainly wasn't on any of 6 restaurant meals I had in Milan in July, and I would've noticed, as I'm trying to lose a bit of weight, so specifically refused any bread.

Spain? There is simply no expectation that you'll tip, and nobody does outside tourist traps with lots of Americans in them.

There are essentially three ways in which countries pay waiters...

1. The US. Restaurants are allowed to pay staff at significantly below minimum wage because of the expectation of tipping. Yes, you're right, I find the whole restaurant experience there excrutiatingly awful, but I still tip because I know they're not on wages that allow them to live without the tip.

2. Spain, France & Italy and others like them where the waiters are paid fairly and don't expect a tip on top.

3. The UK, where oddly we have fairly paid waiters (certainly compared to any job requiring a comparable skillset and qualifications) yet people still follow an outdated protocol and tip more on top.

Roman Rhodes said:
Perhaps your experience is coloured by the fact that you are on business and no-one has the facility to claim the tip back (and all are equally reluctant to fund the tip from their own pockets - i.e. tight).
confused

I've never worked for a place where I couldn't claim the tip back, and if I ever have to go to the States, of course I claim the tip back. I don't claim the tip back in France, Spain or Italy, because people don't tip in those countries.

Roman Rhodes said:
There is however plenty of guidance as to tipping customs and etiquette online - all of which says you are incorrect regarding France, Italy and Spain.
Kermit power said:
No there really isn't. There's the occasional thing suggesting that you might leave a few coins, but the overwhelming majority point out that service is already included, and that you're not expected to tip. When I lived in France & Spain, custom was simply to leave the shrapnel - anything less than a franc or 100ptas - but nowadays people just don't, and anything suggesting you do is completely out of date.

The custom has changed because people almost invariably pay by card, these days, just as they do here. I have never ever been presented with a card machine in France, Spain or Italy which provides the option to add a tip, and since taxis have generally started accepting cards, certainly in Milan & Madrid, I just don't have any change. On my last few trips, I haven't even bothered taking any actual Euros, as I wouldn't have any need for them.

The only people I've ever seen digging around for cash for a tip in a French, Spanish or Italian restaurant have been British or American colleagues, and invariably our local colleagues will just tell them not to worry about it, as it's not customary to tip waiters. You're welcome to find as many online etiquette experts as you like, but it won't change the actual facts of being there.
You simply have no clue - educate yourself!
rofl

That's the best you can manage, is it? I take it you've actually now opened some of those etiquette websites you were banging on about and realised that they pretty much all say "you can leave a euro or two if you want, but it's not expected", or maybe you just can't come up with a reason why you'd pay a voluntary service charge on top of one which is already included by law and says as much on the bill?


Edited by Kermit power on Wednesday 28th August 14:24

Lemming Train

5,567 posts

74 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
You're wasting your time, Kermit. Conformist neanderthals stuck in the past doing what society tells them to do like a bunch of dumb sheep. I bet there's a waiter/waitress forum somewhere on the net where they're all laughing their socks off at all these PBCDs gushing to throw their money at them when they're making £200+ per shift (much of it tax-free) based on the statements of 20% tips. They're probably some of the highest paid in the food service industry once the tips are factored in.

paulguitar

24,174 posts

115 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Lemming Train said:
Conformist neanderthals stuck in the past doing what society tells them to do like a bunch of dumb sheep.
Crikey. I think probably only on PH could one read this as a description of folks who like to give a respectful tip to their server.




Lemming Train

5,567 posts

74 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
paulguitar said:
Crikey. I think probably only on PH could one read this as a description of folks who like to give a respectful tip to their server.
But not the server in Asda, Tesco, nor the servers in any other food establishment or retail stores, regardless of the service quality. Got it wobble. Description is 100% accurate.

Kermit power

28,917 posts

215 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
bad company said:
I’m not going to join the argument but just Googled tipping in Spain.

http://www.andalucia.com/travel/tipping/home.htm
To which one can easily counter with, for example...

Post Office Money website said:
While tipping in Spain isn’t a core part of Spanish culture, the tradition is becoming more and more common in restaurants, hotels and cafés. As with a lot of Europe, hospitality workers in Spain are usually full-time workers and get a living wage, so don’t expect a tip for doing a job they are already paid for. That said, a small gratuity to show your appreciation for their service is always appreciated.


https://www.postoffice.co.uk/travel-money/tipping-...

You can easily find opposing answers to pretty much any question you can think of on the Internet, so I'll stick to the view I've picked up from living there and then travelling on business there regularly over the past twenty years, thanks.

Kermit power

28,917 posts

215 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
nonsequitur said:
Kermit power said:
nonsequitur said:
Not interacting, and not wanting to, with 'service' personnel, even at a very basic level, says far more about a person than anything posted on this thread. And to actually say 'I dont care' about them is shocking.
Why?

If I'm having a meal with people, then those are the people I want to interact with. I want the waiter to come over, take my order and answer any questions we may have about the food. Why on earth would I want to know more than that? What value is there to knowing the name of a waiter I'm probably never going to meet again, much less develop any sort of relationship with?

As for not caring about them, what's shocking about that? Do you think that they care about you? When was the last time a waiter stopped you before you gave them a tip to check that you could afford to do so?
We are not talking about relationships here, just simple human interaction. Chit-chat, banter etc. It's just a nice thing to do.
If I have to explain, then it's much worse than I originally posted.
Do you ask the name of the person on the checkout in the supermarket? Do you expect them to say "hello, I'm your checkout attendant today" when you're putting your stuff on the belt?

Fair enough, if I'm on my own for a meal when I'm travelling on business, it can be quite nice to chat to the waiter a bit, but if I'm already with a group, then why would you want to spend time talking to the waiter rather than the people you've chosen to eat with?

fiju

704 posts

65 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Am I the only person who receives their bill and asks for the service charge to be removed? Because that's what I do.

What is this notion of calling people 'tight'? Oh you mean someone who doesn't like to get conned out of their money? So in that sense if you keep giving a few quid to every Tom, Dick and Harry for doing nothing, does that make you a mug?

paulguitar

24,174 posts

115 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Lemming Train said:
paulguitar said:
Crikey. I think probably only on PH could one read this as a description of folks who like to give a respectful tip to their server.
But not the server in Asda, Tesco, nor the servers in any other food establishment or retail stores, regardless of the service quality. Got it wobble. Description is 100% accurate.
I think tipping a server is probably mostly a traditional thing and will depend to a very large extent on how where one was brought up, and by whom.

I am from a family where when I was a kid we always tipped in restaurants and subsequently I have spent most of my working life in the USA. I am never going to change your opinion or behaviour, and neither will you mine. So I can see this is an internet difference in views with absolutely no overlap in agreement, no point, no purpose for either of us and so I am going to respectfully withdraw let you argue amongst yourselves.


DickyC

50,156 posts

200 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
fiju said:
Am I the only person who receives their bill and asks for the service charge to be removed? Because that's what I do.

What is this notion of calling people 'tight'? Oh you mean someone who doesn't like to get conned out of their money? So in that sense if you keep giving a few quid to every Tom, Dick and Harry for doing nothing, does that make you a mug?
Weren't you advocating a return to the Workhouse earlier in the thread?

Kermit power

28,917 posts

215 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
paulguitar said:
Lemming Train said:
paulguitar said:
Crikey. I think probably only on PH could one read this as a description of folks who like to give a respectful tip to their server.
But not the server in Asda, Tesco, nor the servers in any other food establishment or retail stores, regardless of the service quality. Got it wobble. Description is 100% accurate.
I think tipping a server is probably mostly a traditional thing and will depend to a very large extent on how where one was brought up, and by whom.

I am from a family where when I was a kid we always tipped in restaurants and subsequently I have spent most of my working life in the USA. I am never going to change your opinion or behaviour, and neither will you mine. So I can see this is an internet difference in views with absolutely no overlap in agreement, no point, no purpose for either of us and so I am going to respectfully withdraw let you argue amongst yourselves.
Nobody is ever going to change your opinion? Really?

Let's say that legislation was passed tomorrow giving all waiters in the States a minimum annual salary of $200k. Would you still keep giving them a 20% tip whenever you ate out?

fiju

704 posts

65 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Workhouse?

paulguitar

24,174 posts

115 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Kermit power said:
Nobody is ever going to change your opinion? Really?

Let's say that legislation was passed tomorrow giving all waiters in the States a minimum annual salary of $200k. Would you still keep giving them a 20% tip whenever you ate out?
Don't be childish. We both know that is never going to happen.




TartanPaint

3,008 posts

141 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
How often do you eat out? Maybe you've been eating out a few times a week for 40 years and it's just sustenance to you. Or maybe you eat out only on your birthday when you're feeling particularly happy and generous?

Are you there specifically for the food and venue, perhaps a date night, where the experience matters? Or just meeting friends for a chat, where the meal is of secondary importance and you'll have a good time regardless.

Is it an expensive meal for you, relatively speaking?

Where are you? Is it a burger chain with transient staff who don't care much about your meal as long as they pay their tuition fees next term? Or a husband and wife team who know you by name, running a cafe and employing the village's (slightly clumsy) teenagers? Or a professional owner-managed restaurant who is coaching the yoof of today into the hospitality industry?

Are you eating out in your own village, or in a city you'll never visit again?

Do you value good service, or will just the basics do? Would you actually recognise good service if you saw it, or does it all go over your head as long as the food is hot and mostly on the plate?

Have you ever been a waiter, kitchen staff, or worked in any service industry?

All of the above and dozens of other reasons might influence why different people in different places have different views about whether to tip and how much, and I don't think any particular answer is right or wrong all the time.

Even still, some of the attitudes on display on this thread... bloody hell. grumpy Some right miserable gits.

anonymous-user

56 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Kermit power said:
Roman Rhodes said:
Kermit power said:
Roman Rhodes said:
Your "rarely if ever" is simply wrong not only for the fact that the service charge is often built in to the bill (and not necessarily as obvious as the % shown at the bottom of a UK bill - e.g. pane e coperto in Italy).
You're contradicting yourself in one sentence, and you're just plain wrong, I'm afraid.

Nobody is suggesting that waiters should serve you for free, so of course the service charge is included in the bill! In fact, it has to be included by law in France, and every restaurant bill you get will say that service is included on the bill. There is no expectation that you will tip on top of this for a meal there for this reason.

With regards to pane & coperto, it's been quite a long while since I was charged for that in Italy. I certainly wasn't on any of 6 restaurant meals I had in Milan in July, and I would've noticed, as I'm trying to lose a bit of weight, so specifically refused any bread.

Spain? There is simply no expectation that you'll tip, and nobody does outside tourist traps with lots of Americans in them.

There are essentially three ways in which countries pay waiters...

1. The US. Restaurants are allowed to pay staff at significantly below minimum wage because of the expectation of tipping. Yes, you're right, I find the whole restaurant experience there excrutiatingly awful, but I still tip because I know they're not on wages that allow them to live without the tip.

2. Spain, France & Italy and others like them where the waiters are paid fairly and don't expect a tip on top.

3. The UK, where oddly we have fairly paid waiters (certainly compared to any job requiring a comparable skillset and qualifications) yet people still follow an outdated protocol and tip more on top.

Roman Rhodes said:
Perhaps your experience is coloured by the fact that you are on business and no-one has the facility to claim the tip back (and all are equally reluctant to fund the tip from their own pockets - i.e. tight).
confused

I've never worked for a place where I couldn't claim the tip back, and if I ever have to go to the States, of course I claim the tip back. I don't claim the tip back in France, Spain or Italy, because people don't tip in those countries.

Roman Rhodes said:
There is however plenty of guidance as to tipping customs and etiquette online - all of which says you are incorrect regarding France, Italy and Spain.
Kermit power said:
No there really isn't. There's the occasional thing suggesting that you might leave a few coins, but the overwhelming majority point out that service is already included, and that you're not expected to tip. When I lived in France & Spain, custom was simply to leave the shrapnel - anything less than a franc or 100ptas - but nowadays people just don't, and anything suggesting you do is completely out of date.

The custom has changed because people almost invariably pay by card, these days, just as they do here. I have never ever been presented with a card machine in France, Spain or Italy which provides the option to add a tip, and since taxis have generally started accepting cards, certainly in Milan & Madrid, I just don't have any change. On my last few trips, I haven't even bothered taking any actual Euros, as I wouldn't have any need for them.

The only people I've ever seen digging around for cash for a tip in a French, Spanish or Italian restaurant have been British or American colleagues, and invariably our local colleagues will just tell them not to worry about it, as it's not customary to tip waiters. You're welcome to find as many online etiquette experts as you like, but it won't change the actual facts of being there.
You simply have no clue - educate yourself!
rofl

That's the best you can manage, is it? I take it you've actually now opened some of those etiquette websites you were banging on about and realised that they pretty much all say "you can leave a euro or two if you want, but it's not expected", or maybe you just can't come up with a reason why you'd pay a voluntary service charge on top of one which is already included by law and says as much on the bill?


Edited by Kermit power on Wednesday 28th August 14:24
No, it was all I could be bothered with. Educate yourself.

Kermit power

28,917 posts

215 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
paulguitar said:
Kermit power said:
Nobody is ever going to change your opinion? Really?

Let's say that legislation was passed tomorrow giving all waiters in the States a minimum annual salary of $200k. Would you still keep giving them a 20% tip whenever you ate out?
Don't be childish. We both know that is never going to happen.
OK, how about if the minimum wage is set at $80k?

My point being that it's absurd to say that your opinion can never be changed, because circumstances change, and you'd be foolish not to adapt to changing circumstances.

At the moment, for example, I generally only tip in the UK when I actually get better than average service, because as far as I'm concerned, I'm paying for average service with the bill, and any restaurant owner actually implementing a policy of "service not included" in the days of minimum wage would be breaking the law.

If, however, Boris decided to bring in a policy tomorrow saying that restaurants were allowed to pay waiters at 50% of minimum wage because of the levels of tips as happens in many US states, then I'd change my opinion. I would, however, expect the restaurant bill on which I'm calculating the tip to drop too.

paulguitar

24,174 posts

115 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Kermit power said:
paulguitar said:
Kermit power said:
Nobody is ever going to change your opinion? Really?

Let's say that legislation was passed tomorrow giving all waiters in the States a minimum annual salary of $200k. Would you still keep giving them a 20% tip whenever you ate out?
Don't be childish. We both know that is never going to happen.
OK, how about if the minimum wage is set at $80k?

My point being that it's absurd to say that your opinion can never be changed, because circumstances change, and you'd be foolish not to adapt to changing circumstances.

At the moment, for example, I generally only tip in the UK when I actually get better than average service, because as far as I'm concerned, I'm paying for average service with the bill, and any restaurant owner actually implementing a policy of "service not included" in the days of minimum wage would be breaking the law.

If, however, Boris decided to bring in a policy tomorrow saying that restaurants were allowed to pay waiters at 50% of minimum wage because of the levels of tips as happens in many US states, then I'd change my opinion. I would, however, expect the restaurant bill on which I'm calculating the tip to drop too.
I was referring to things as they are now and have been since I've been alive.




Kermit power

28,917 posts

215 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Roman Rhodes said:
Kermit power said:
Roman Rhodes said:
Kermit power said:
Roman Rhodes said:
Your "rarely if ever" is simply wrong not only for the fact that the service charge is often built in to the bill (and not necessarily as obvious as the % shown at the bottom of a UK bill - e.g. pane e coperto in Italy).
You're contradicting yourself in one sentence, and you're just plain wrong, I'm afraid.

Nobody is suggesting that waiters should serve you for free, so of course the service charge is included in the bill! In fact, it has to be included by law in France, and every restaurant bill you get will say that service is included on the bill. There is no expectation that you will tip on top of this for a meal there for this reason.

With regards to pane & coperto, it's been quite a long while since I was charged for that in Italy. I certainly wasn't on any of 6 restaurant meals I had in Milan in July, and I would've noticed, as I'm trying to lose a bit of weight, so specifically refused any bread.

Spain? There is simply no expectation that you'll tip, and nobody does outside tourist traps with lots of Americans in them.

There are essentially three ways in which countries pay waiters...

1. The US. Restaurants are allowed to pay staff at significantly below minimum wage because of the expectation of tipping. Yes, you're right, I find the whole restaurant experience there excrutiatingly awful, but I still tip because I know they're not on wages that allow them to live without the tip.

2. Spain, France & Italy and others like them where the waiters are paid fairly and don't expect a tip on top.

3. The UK, where oddly we have fairly paid waiters (certainly compared to any job requiring a comparable skillset and qualifications) yet people still follow an outdated protocol and tip more on top.

Roman Rhodes said:
Perhaps your experience is coloured by the fact that you are on business and no-one has the facility to claim the tip back (and all are equally reluctant to fund the tip from their own pockets - i.e. tight).
confused

I've never worked for a place where I couldn't claim the tip back, and if I ever have to go to the States, of course I claim the tip back. I don't claim the tip back in France, Spain or Italy, because people don't tip in those countries.

Roman Rhodes said:
There is however plenty of guidance as to tipping customs and etiquette online - all of which says you are incorrect regarding France, Italy and Spain.
Kermit power said:
No there really isn't. There's the occasional thing suggesting that you might leave a few coins, but the overwhelming majority point out that service is already included, and that you're not expected to tip. When I lived in France & Spain, custom was simply to leave the shrapnel - anything less than a franc or 100ptas - but nowadays people just don't, and anything suggesting you do is completely out of date.

The custom has changed because people almost invariably pay by card, these days, just as they do here. I have never ever been presented with a card machine in France, Spain or Italy which provides the option to add a tip, and since taxis have generally started accepting cards, certainly in Milan & Madrid, I just don't have any change. On my last few trips, I haven't even bothered taking any actual Euros, as I wouldn't have any need for them.

The only people I've ever seen digging around for cash for a tip in a French, Spanish or Italian restaurant have been British or American colleagues, and invariably our local colleagues will just tell them not to worry about it, as it's not customary to tip waiters. You're welcome to find as many online etiquette experts as you like, but it won't change the actual facts of being there.
You simply have no clue - educate yourself!
rofl

That's the best you can manage, is it? I take it you've actually now opened some of those etiquette websites you were banging on about and realised that they pretty much all say "you can leave a euro or two if you want, but it's not expected", or maybe you just can't come up with a reason why you'd pay a voluntary service charge on top of one which is already included by law and says as much on the bill?


Edited by Kermit power on Wednesday 28th August 14:24
No, it was all I could be bothered with. Educate yourself.
I have. I've done it by living in France & Spain, and also taking a lead from local colleagues when I'm somewhere new. Still, you clearly know better because you read it on the Internet, so I'll leave you to it.

anonymous-user

56 months

Wednesday 28th August 2019
quotequote all
Kermit power said:
bad company said:
I’m not going to join the argument but just Googled tipping in Spain.

http://www.andalucia.com/travel/tipping/home.htm
To which one can easily counter with, for example...

Post Office Money website said:
While tipping in Spain isn’t a core part of Spanish culture, the tradition is becoming more and more common in restaurants, hotels and cafés. As with a lot of Europe, hospitality workers in Spain are usually full-time workers and get a living wage, so don’t expect a tip for doing a job they are already paid for. That said, a small gratuity to show your appreciation for their service is always appreciated.


https://www.postoffice.co.uk/travel-money/tipping-...

You can easily find opposing answers to pretty much any question you can think of on the Internet, so I'll stick to the view I've picked up from living there and then travelling on business there regularly over the past twenty years, thanks.
Since the Post Office is now the authority, this is what they say:

France:

French law requires all service charges to be included on the bill. That means tipping is much the same in the UK – a reward for good service, not an obligation. If there is no service charge, tip around 10-12.5%. Taxis, hotel staff and tour guides won’t necessarily expect a tip – but they will be appreciated.

Italy:

Tip 5-10% – just round the bill up to the nearest €5 or €10. Keep an eye out for the ‘pane e coperto’ – the restaurant charging you for bread. That’s a general charge that’s different from ‘servizio’ – service charge. You’ll be expected to pay both charges, though don’t feel obligated to include a separate tip as well – especially if the charges are a bit high.

Spain:

Service charge is usually included, especially in tourist areas. However, it’s polite to add a few Euros – 5-10% on top of the bill. If there’s no service charge, pay 15%.