Why are children so much more important than adults?

[dave_s13]

mattnunn said:

The thought of my wife being on it, well.... Tbh, i'd get over it.

Laugh (at just that but, a small giggle).


As a dad of 2 very young sprogs I can't imagne being able to function as a human being again if either of them was killed at such a young age, and in those circumstances.

Your internal wiring changes a bit when you have kids.

Edited by dave_s13 on Thursday 15th March 12:37

[XB70]

dave_s13 said:

Laugh (at just that but, a small giggle).


As a dad of 2 very young sprogs I can't imagne being able to function as a human being again if either of them was killed at such a young age, and in those circumstances.

Your internal wiring changes a bit when you have kids.

Edited by dave_s13 on Thursday 15th March 12:37

This 100%

[JagLover]

Jasandjules said:

Well, it is simple human nature to feel worse for children.

Many adults go missing each year but you only really get the newspapers involved in young (and I hate to say it but it is true - cute) children.

OT

But that is also because they are very unlikely to have run away from home, whereas with older children that is usually the explanation.

[Tiggsy]

The news run with it because all people are more interested in people like them (or people they love) than people not like them.

Hence a white, European parent's most loved thing is it's white European child - hearing of white European kids killed makes them attached to the story. The further you get in terms of common traits between the people in the news and the people hearing the news, the less they care.

If the crash had been in the UK the news would go nuts, had it been in Eastern Europe we'd be less interested, South America even less, Africa...kids die every 4 secs.

[UnderTheRadar]

dave_s13 said:

Laugh (at just that but, a small giggle).


As a dad of 2 very young sprogs I can't imagne being able to function as a human being again if either of them was killed at such a young age, and in those circumstances.

Your internal wiring changes a bit when you have kids.

This is very true. Children become your life and you invest everything in them. So when other people's children die you feel a lot of how it would be if it was your's.

[superkartracer]

Tiggsy said:

Africa...kids die every 4 secs.

Are you saying people don't care about this!, many *white* people care and offer much AID, you are taking total cobblers.

http://www.africaguide.com/charity.htm

Edited by superkartracer on Thursday 15th March 15:36

[UnderTheRadar]

Remember the newscast that came before liveaid? The one where the newscaster was in tears? Says it all really.

[Cheib]

Pints said:

Burying your child is far worse than burying a parent or partner IMO.

Depends on how old the parents are....

I have two young kids and would be naturally be totally devastated if anythign happened to them...but I was also devastated when my father died in his mid 50's (I waas 24) with many years ahead of him. If you're young and your parents die it's pretty awful too......

[AJS-]

Try having kids, then you'll know why.

[Tiggsy]

superkartracer said:

Tiggsy said:

Africa...kids die every 4 secs.

Are you saying people don't care about this!, many *white* people care and offer much AID, you are taking total cobblers.

http://www.africaguide.com/charity.htm

Edited by superkartracer on Thursday 15th March 15:36

People care less.

You think we'd let 4 oz, us, uk, French, etc kids die every second?

People are more interested in news where there are similarities to their own life. Be that via geography, race, etc

It's where missing white girl syndrome comes from.

[Welshbeef]

What a bizarre comment from the OP.

It is very clear why death of a child is more important than an adult.
If you really dont get that natural instinct of protection of those who are weaker and dependant on others then I'm not sure what help you need.

[Dr Jekyll]

Welshbeef said:

What a bizarre comment from the OP.

It is very clear why death of a child is more important than an adult.
If you really dont get that natural instinct of protection of those who are weaker and dependant on others then I'm not sure what help you need.

It's perfectly possible to get the natural instinct but still be curious as to the rational basis.

I remember an interview on TV years ago with the mother of an army recruit who had died in a training exercise. The mother said something about how dreadful it was that the army put children in such danger. The reporter said 'he wasn't exactly a child though, he was 22'. The mother replied 'he was my child'.

Edited by Dr Jekyll on Thursday 15th March 21:26

[susanq]

Welshbeef said:

What a bizarre comment from the OP.

It is very clear why death of a child is more important than an adult.
If you really dont get that natural instinct of protection of those who are weaker and dependant on others then I'm not sure what help you need.

What an odd comment. Does the O/P have children?It only seems to be VERY clear to most of the people on here with kids. Just because the people who don't have children can't empathise with this does not render them in need of help. I kind of understand where SC is coming from, but there's no way anyone with children would be able to understand that. Is there?

[carmonk]

If you asked 10 parents why, objectively speaking, they considered children to be more important than adults I'd guess 9 of them would fail to provide any sort of reasonable answer.

[singlecoil]

I wish I had taken a screen shot of the BBC News website when I started this thread, as they have since changed the headline to a more reasonable one. The idea that adults don't have value is one that does not sit comfortably with me, although I now realise that others here have a different view. A shame that none of them are actually able to explain that view, other than "if you have children you would know why".

Several have asked whether or not I have children, and others have simply assumed that I do not. I've not provided any information in that respect deliberately, because AFAIAC the discrepancy in the value placed on children against that placed on adults is so different as to be worth wondering about regardless of whether or not I am a parent. The way a family can be wrecked if one of the parents is killed has to be experienced to be appreciated. If that person happens to be a popular teacher the damage can be even worse.

[eldar]

singlecoil said:

I wish I had taken a screen shot of the BBC News website when I started this thread, as they have since changed the headline to a more reasonable one. The idea that adults don't have value is one that does not sit comfortably with me, although I now realise that others here have a different view. A shame that none of them are actually able to explain that view, other than "if you have children you would know why".

Several have asked whether or not I have children, and others have simply assumed that I do not. I've not provided any information in that respect deliberately, because AFAIAC the discrepancy in the value placed on children against that placed on adults is so different as to be worth wondering about regardless of whether or not I am a parent. The way a family can be wrecked if one of the parents is killed has to be experienced to be appreciated. If that person happens to be a popular teacher the damage can be even worse.

Fair comment. I think the human race is wired to reproduce, so children dying young is a waste of resource. Our instinct says that is worse than someone old dying. We are also tribal, so the nearer death is to home, the greater the effect.

Being a parent focusses those feelings. The media uses this to gain more attention.

[aizvara]

singlecoil said:

I wish I had taken a screen shot of the BBC News website when I started this thread, as they have since changed the headline to a more reasonable one. The idea that adults don't have value is one that does not sit comfortably with me, although I now realise that others here have a different view. A shame that none of them are actually able to explain that view, other than "if you have children you would know why".

Several have explained it, haven't they? Explanations range from the thoughtful; "They are our future", "They haven't made their mark" or "They haven't the degree of choice that adults do", to the instinctive; "People care about children more because we are hardwired to do so, particularly when you have your own".

The latter is something that I'm not sure I would have fully understood in any meaningful sense until I had my son. I now am very easily provoked to irrational emotionality by anything bad happening to any children. It is something which I can only assume is a result of the bonding process; the hormonal changes that affect parents. It was a marked change.

Also, no one has said that adults don't have value, merely that most people, and particularly parents, are deeply affected by the deaths of children, far more than adults. Newspapers/media uses this fact. It isn't or needn't be rational; it is human nature.

[Pothole]

I can only speak from a personal perspective, but I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way, show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier, let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be...etc.

Basically it's because we're a bunch of mawkish fools.

[egor110]

I guess with adults you can always say well they've lived 30/40/50 years , these kids have only lived 11 years? they had so much more living to do.

[singlecoil]

So, for the sake of the discussion, if any of you were to imagine for just a moment that your spouse and one child had been killed, you would think it OK that everybody was concerned mostly about the child, and that your spouse was mentioned as an afterthought? I know this point was raised earlier, but I'm pretty sure the person doing so was joking, either that, or he/she has a st marriage.