The joy of eccentric elderly parents and their routines.
Discussion
I lost my dad four years ago, he was a top bloke dead down to earth, no mither.
Mum is as sharp as a tack,
physically things are giving up but mentally shes switched on, probably moreso than most people i know
Trouble is she has developed strange ways of doing things
examples include
wrapping clothes or anything up in clear plastic bags, with a note inside describing what they are and an elastic band round.
even to the point that the notes have a description of what they are made of and if they are winter or summer
a visiting cat scratching the wall, so she nails a matt to the wall, over the wallpaper to stop it,
the same cat will only eat a specific brand of cat food, as well the local birds with the fatballs, so we are off trundling the shops for particular brands
does anyone else s parents have odd behavior routines?
Mum is as sharp as a tack,
physically things are giving up but mentally shes switched on, probably moreso than most people i know
Trouble is she has developed strange ways of doing things
examples include
wrapping clothes or anything up in clear plastic bags, with a note inside describing what they are and an elastic band round.
even to the point that the notes have a description of what they are made of and if they are winter or summer
a visiting cat scratching the wall, so she nails a matt to the wall, over the wallpaper to stop it,
the same cat will only eat a specific brand of cat food, as well the local birds with the fatballs, so we are off trundling the shops for particular brands
does anyone else s parents have odd behavior routines?
I’ve got thousands
And can prove them all
Frying pan, too big to slip into the grill or the cooker with all the other pots and pans,
So it got slipped into the washing machine where it was out of sight,
Glass Privacy film, like the sort you’d put on unfrosted glass for a toilet
Put on the landing window,
Cardigans rolled up and put in the cupboard, in bags, in the drawers of the phone table in the hall
Cling film on the windows in winter, because it’s crap glass, it somehow makes the double glazing a lot better
Kitchen clothes rack for drying clothes,
Wouldn’t let anyone get rid, because it was dead handy, for drying one persons clothes
Elastic bands round the tap handles in case they turn themselves on,
Creosoting the shed doors, for 40 years, the paving flags are utterly ruined three feet from them,
And can prove them all
Frying pan, too big to slip into the grill or the cooker with all the other pots and pans,
So it got slipped into the washing machine where it was out of sight,
Glass Privacy film, like the sort you’d put on unfrosted glass for a toilet
Put on the landing window,
Cardigans rolled up and put in the cupboard, in bags, in the drawers of the phone table in the hall
Cling film on the windows in winter, because it’s crap glass, it somehow makes the double glazing a lot better
Kitchen clothes rack for drying clothes,
Wouldn’t let anyone get rid, because it was dead handy, for drying one persons clothes
Elastic bands round the tap handles in case they turn themselves on,
Creosoting the shed doors, for 40 years, the paving flags are utterly ruined three feet from them,
the fantastic flat shes in now, brand new build,
utterley incredible
doesnt like the wet room cos the fllor gets wet
shes put a sticker on the window, so that she can identify which is her flat from outside,
not been outside in 12 weeks, and its on the first floor anyway.
she thinks the doorbell is hard to see, so she put a sticker underneath it saying doorbell
note on the back door, saying she is old and cannot clean so take your shoes off,
utterley incredible
doesnt like the wet room cos the fllor gets wet
shes put a sticker on the window, so that she can identify which is her flat from outside,
not been outside in 12 weeks, and its on the first floor anyway.
she thinks the doorbell is hard to see, so she put a sticker underneath it saying doorbell
note on the back door, saying she is old and cannot clean so take your shoes off,
WinstonWolf said:
j4ckos mate said:
the fantastic flat shes in now, brand new build,
utterley incredible
doesnt like the wet room cos the fllor gets wet
shes put a sticker on the window, so that she can identify which is her flat from outside,
not been outside in 12 weeks, and its on the first floor anyway.
she thinks the doorbell is hard to see, so she put a sticker underneath it saying doorbell
note on the back door, saying she is old and cannot clean so take your shoes off,
Keep an eye on her, behaviour changes like that need keeping an eye on utterley incredible
doesnt like the wet room cos the fllor gets wet
shes put a sticker on the window, so that she can identify which is her flat from outside,
not been outside in 12 weeks, and its on the first floor anyway.
she thinks the doorbell is hard to see, so she put a sticker underneath it saying doorbell
note on the back door, saying she is old and cannot clean so take your shoes off,
it would be easier if it was,
shes 84,
im sure its a mental illness scenario, cant be anything else can it?
shes utterly sharp and bright, no signs of forgetting stuff, ive been trying to catch her out for years,
even as a kid she would make a mental note of what stuff cost when shopping, and i dont ever remember a case where she was wrong and the till was right,
if it was out, she would get it all checked again, until it was correct, even if it took half an hour, which it did
I found some old medical notes fro ten years ago, where she had googled the possible eye surgeons for her cataracts
and printed it off and made notes, despite never meeting most of them,
the eye op was done four months ago,
Rather than get it done she dodged and swerved it till she was going blind,
Utterly convinced for several months it hadnt worked the surgeon panicked and has made errors.
Its worked a treat, she wont admit it though,
ive even asked her in front of the surgeon does she feel its worked she still wont admit it,
feel sorry for him to be honest
im sure its a mental illness scenario, cant be anything else can it?
shes utterly sharp and bright, no signs of forgetting stuff, ive been trying to catch her out for years,
even as a kid she would make a mental note of what stuff cost when shopping, and i dont ever remember a case where she was wrong and the till was right,
if it was out, she would get it all checked again, until it was correct, even if it took half an hour, which it did
I found some old medical notes fro ten years ago, where she had googled the possible eye surgeons for her cataracts
and printed it off and made notes, despite never meeting most of them,
the eye op was done four months ago,
Rather than get it done she dodged and swerved it till she was going blind,
Utterly convinced for several months it hadnt worked the surgeon panicked and has made errors.
Its worked a treat, she wont admit it though,
ive even asked her in front of the surgeon does she feel its worked she still wont admit it,
feel sorry for him to be honest
ive literally got loads and loads,
theres so many i would loose track,
she cut the hedge right back the other year not in height in width,
just to spite the neighbor,
he wanted it higher but his garden is higher
only thing its achieved is exposing metal ironwork that my dad put in it years ago to stop the dog getting out and let the hedgehogs come and go,
i will save her crowning glory till later, the next one is special
theres so many i would loose track,
she cut the hedge right back the other year not in height in width,
just to spite the neighbor,
he wanted it higher but his garden is higher
only thing its achieved is exposing metal ironwork that my dad put in it years ago to stop the dog getting out and let the hedgehogs come and go,
i will save her crowning glory till later, the next one is special
Shes brilliant on the internet,
Facebook, online shopping, she does it all, iplayer, my5,
having an eye buggered has got on her nerves,
she could probably teach me a thing or two, dad couldn't turn the telly on, god bless him
so much so i used to look in the paper recyling bin to see what shes been ordering,
it was usually those big plastic tubs of bird fat balls,
Facebook, online shopping, she does it all, iplayer, my5,
having an eye buggered has got on her nerves,
she could probably teach me a thing or two, dad couldn't turn the telly on, god bless him
so much so i used to look in the paper recyling bin to see what shes been ordering,
it was usually those big plastic tubs of bird fat balls,
Dad put silver foil on the radiator grill to stop the cold air going in the car,
not sure what cold air was going to do to the car
carry every possible spare part he could have, points plugs, air oil filter oil, to be honest the boot was a complete spares box,
he could literally service the car anywhere
Any and every moving part got greased on his car,
often resulting in ruined jumpers,
microwaved bacon,
made a note of how long it took to microwave everything, despite it being on the packaging
not sure what cold air was going to do to the car
carry every possible spare part he could have, points plugs, air oil filter oil, to be honest the boot was a complete spares box,
he could literally service the car anywhere
Any and every moving part got greased on his car,
often resulting in ruined jumpers,
microwaved bacon,
made a note of how long it took to microwave everything, despite it being on the packaging
Mums worked her way through 7 or 8 gardeners,
i had to tell her in the end they all cut the grass and do the bushes, they all do the same thing,
with ropey eyesight why does it matter?
i went to school with one of them and i said youd be better sticking with him, as i known him rather getting randomers off facebook, and the yellow pages,
she stuck with him for a month then got rid because she reckoned his petrol mower was spreading someone elses dandelions on her grass,
Then she got another one that lived local, he was a right scruff, she had him for a while
binnned him and got another local bloke to do it.
now i do it,
but i dont bother trying to make it look pretty, if its green it gets mowed
i had to tell her in the end they all cut the grass and do the bushes, they all do the same thing,
with ropey eyesight why does it matter?
i went to school with one of them and i said youd be better sticking with him, as i known him rather getting randomers off facebook, and the yellow pages,
she stuck with him for a month then got rid because she reckoned his petrol mower was spreading someone elses dandelions on her grass,
Then she got another one that lived local, he was a right scruff, she had him for a while
binnned him and got another local bloke to do it.
now i do it,
but i dont bother trying to make it look pretty, if its green it gets mowed
Mums always requested copies of letters between doctors/spcialists/hopsitals,
the box has about four inches worth of letters in it.
Scribbled on them is the date she received it, even though it is written on it, along with notes about her version of events of the appt,
or her view of his incorrect medical diagnosis,
it bit her on the arse the other day because i had to fetch a letter shed done this to and made comments on regarding the doctor,
i had to email it to her social worker,
she has always questioned every medical decision that she has had in the last 60 years,
so much so her eye surgeon, has another doctor with him,
we thing its to cover his back, hes dead nervous around her,
Then while looking for stuff at the house, you find, mine and and my sisters medical bracelet from when we were born, wrapped up and put in a box with do not throw away, very precious written on it, quite gut wrenching really
the box has about four inches worth of letters in it.
Scribbled on them is the date she received it, even though it is written on it, along with notes about her version of events of the appt,
or her view of his incorrect medical diagnosis,
it bit her on the arse the other day because i had to fetch a letter shed done this to and made comments on regarding the doctor,
i had to email it to her social worker,
she has always questioned every medical decision that she has had in the last 60 years,
so much so her eye surgeon, has another doctor with him,
we thing its to cover his back, hes dead nervous around her,
Then while looking for stuff at the house, you find, mine and and my sisters medical bracelet from when we were born, wrapped up and put in a box with do not throw away, very precious written on it, quite gut wrenching really
i was in bed one night, 1030pm
(this is when she was sleeping downstairs after a very badly broken leg)
i got a text saying someone had put something in her bin,
so i texted back saying don't worry about it, if the bin man wont empty it i will take it to the tip at weekend
no reply
texted her again, no reply,
then i get one, "its that cheeky bleader up the road i know who it is"
text her back no reply again,
rang her no reply,
i said to swmbo,im not going ot settle till i know shes ok,
so i drive round, took me about twenty minutes to get there because the car had started to ice up,
pulls onto her road, there she was 78, hobbled up the road with her wheelie bin in front of her being used as a walking frame
path glistening with frost, full dressing gown nightie and slippers on.
I found her raanting profusely at a house a few doors down, calling him all sorts and lobbing his rubbish so far up his garden path it was near his front door,
paint tins included.
i pulled up said "get in the house now"
carried on driving down the road, pulled up, go i her house and she comes back down the hill with the wheelie bin steadying her walk,
Cursing and complaining that a neighbour had the cheek to put some stuff in her bin.
(this is when she was sleeping downstairs after a very badly broken leg)
i got a text saying someone had put something in her bin,
so i texted back saying don't worry about it, if the bin man wont empty it i will take it to the tip at weekend
no reply
texted her again, no reply,
then i get one, "its that cheeky bleader up the road i know who it is"
text her back no reply again,
rang her no reply,
i said to swmbo,im not going ot settle till i know shes ok,
so i drive round, took me about twenty minutes to get there because the car had started to ice up,
pulls onto her road, there she was 78, hobbled up the road with her wheelie bin in front of her being used as a walking frame
path glistening with frost, full dressing gown nightie and slippers on.
I found her raanting profusely at a house a few doors down, calling him all sorts and lobbing his rubbish so far up his garden path it was near his front door,
paint tins included.
i pulled up said "get in the house now"
carried on driving down the road, pulled up, go i her house and she comes back down the hill with the wheelie bin steadying her walk,
Cursing and complaining that a neighbour had the cheek to put some stuff in her bin.
Dads diet was fascinating,
chips done in the chip pan most nights, and hollands pie and four rounds of bread,
wouldnt entertain anything perceived as slightly exotic or foreign looking or sounding,
even pepper was the work of the devil,
he looked ok on it though right to the end to be fair, thats the tragedy isnt it with it all,
when youre a kid they are as strong as an ox, then they fade,
i can see it in my FIL now,
not quite at shuffling but not as fit as he was
chips done in the chip pan most nights, and hollands pie and four rounds of bread,
wouldnt entertain anything perceived as slightly exotic or foreign looking or sounding,
even pepper was the work of the devil,
he looked ok on it though right to the end to be fair, thats the tragedy isnt it with it all,
when youre a kid they are as strong as an ox, then they fade,
i can see it in my FIL now,
not quite at shuffling but not as fit as he was
She’s always been hard work.
Just the older you get, you notice these things and you wonder why they do what they do
We’re moving mum to a flat soon.
I said put a post it note on everything you want to keep and we can bin the rest.
All agreed.
She said yes and I will right “keep” on them
I said no need. The three of us know.
Wouldn’t have it, so now we all have to wait
Around while an octogenarian writes “keep” hundreds and hundreds of times.
To be honest I’ve took a step back and leaving it to my sisters abit
That’s another thread thst one !
Just the older you get, you notice these things and you wonder why they do what they do
We’re moving mum to a flat soon.
I said put a post it note on everything you want to keep and we can bin the rest.
All agreed.
She said yes and I will right “keep” on them
I said no need. The three of us know.
Wouldn’t have it, so now we all have to wait
Around while an octogenarian writes “keep” hundreds and hundreds of times.
To be honest I’ve took a step back and leaving it to my sisters abit
That’s another thread thst one !
Started emptying her house today
It wasn’t good start, hen she wanted the hanging baskets keeping,
The plants are plastic and she’s moving to a flat
Later on the fly screen by the back door was being admired,
It’s new and quality she said as she untangled a few of the drops that had caught up against the wall.
She hinted at it to her new flat
Until I reminded her the flies will have to fob in, get the lift, fob onto the corridor and amble to her room,
It wasn’t good start, hen she wanted the hanging baskets keeping,
The plants are plastic and she’s moving to a flat
Later on the fly screen by the back door was being admired,
It’s new and quality she said as she untangled a few of the drops that had caught up against the wall.
She hinted at it to her new flat
Until I reminded her the flies will have to fob in, get the lift, fob onto the corridor and amble to her room,
When we finally got a Ferguson videostar,
Dad built a wooden contraption to sort slide underneath the tv,
It clipped where the legs are and hid the video completely
He did a great job though,
Not sure why he did it but it looked ok
Not made of wood though,
Always chipboard, with those iron on, edges
We got a dinghy as well when we were kids.
Dad made the oars, rather than buy some, again did a good job, but utterly useless
Dad built a wooden contraption to sort slide underneath the tv,
It clipped where the legs are and hid the video completely
He did a great job though,
Not sure why he did it but it looked ok
Not made of wood though,
Always chipboard, with those iron on, edges
We got a dinghy as well when we were kids.
Dad made the oars, rather than buy some, again did a good job, but utterly useless
What was the point of contiboard?
Yes I will a wooden effect unit but the underside must be white,
Oh Andy I’d like grommets at every corner please,
Only with one missing, so you see the screw,
Dad would never ever drive anywhere,
Work, home, Nanas that was it.
We went to Rhyl once in a family convoy,
You could see the effect it was having on dad, it was giving him
PTSD
Old bloke at work used to claim his mileage, he would
Open up the formulated spreadsheet.
Print it off, fill it out by hand and leg it to accounts, with it in his hand
Same bloke.
When a customer paid in cash, you give them a receipt and then give it accounts along with your reference,
His preferred choice was take the cash to the bank and pay it into the company account, and use the customer as a payment reference, because he didn’t trust our accts dept.
Another old bloke would email you,
Then print it off, and bring it over to your desk,
We would drop the email into the job and bin the dozens of pages he gave us.
Yes I will a wooden effect unit but the underside must be white,
Oh Andy I’d like grommets at every corner please,
Only with one missing, so you see the screw,
Dad would never ever drive anywhere,
Work, home, Nanas that was it.
We went to Rhyl once in a family convoy,
You could see the effect it was having on dad, it was giving him
PTSD
Old bloke at work used to claim his mileage, he would
Open up the formulated spreadsheet.
Print it off, fill it out by hand and leg it to accounts, with it in his hand
Same bloke.
When a customer paid in cash, you give them a receipt and then give it accounts along with your reference,
His preferred choice was take the cash to the bank and pay it into the company account, and use the customer as a payment reference, because he didn’t trust our accts dept.
Another old bloke would email you,
Then print it off, and bring it over to your desk,
We would drop the email into the job and bin the dozens of pages he gave us.
Dad was sat in front of sky news from getting up to going to bed,
Wes used to say if anything happened theyd probably tell him first,
Mum had the TV guide and a big list of all the channels that her programmes were on,
despite the TIVO box listing all the channels
she needs new blinds for the flat shes moving into,
we tidied her old house up the other day, shes jsut told me off for chucking out the spare drops for the blinds in her old house??
Wes used to say if anything happened theyd probably tell him first,
Mum had the TV guide and a big list of all the channels that her programmes were on,
despite the TIVO box listing all the channels
she needs new blinds for the flat shes moving into,
we tidied her old house up the other day, shes jsut told me off for chucking out the spare drops for the blinds in her old house??
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