How do you measure success in life?
Discussion
I thought this might be an interesting subject, especially if probed a little more deeply that how much money you make and/or how many cars that can do more than 180mph you have.
Personally I measure it in terms of happiness, so if you really need an XJ220 to be happy AND you've actually got one, then that's success, but only as long as you have all the other things needed, like good health, family that loves you etc.
Here's another aspect to the question, what about if you are really successful for thirty-five years, then it all turns to s
t for five years, is that better than having an average life for forty years? IOW, is it where you end up that matters, or how well you do getting there?
Personally I measure it in terms of happiness, so if you really need an XJ220 to be happy AND you've actually got one, then that's success, but only as long as you have all the other things needed, like good health, family that loves you etc.
Here's another aspect to the question, what about if you are really successful for thirty-five years, then it all turns to s
t for five years, is that better than having an average life for forty years? IOW, is it where you end up that matters, or how well you do getting there?To be honest I think that you have nailed it with the opening post.
Happiness.
There will always be mega bad and mega good days in life. There will always be success and failure. There will be many, many more days that are 'just another Tuesday'.
At the end of it all though, sitting back in your chair, everyone else upstairs in bed and you are in a reflective mood you can ask yourself a thousand questions. Have I got enough money. Have I done that job I said I would do. Is my son going to get his A levels. Should I really have made my polite excuses and scarpered when those two girls offered me a threesome when I was going out with someone else who would have known nothing about it. The list is endless but it all boils down to one thing. Am I happy? Yes I always want bigger, better, faster, more but will that mean I consider that I have made more of a success of life than if I never improve on my current haul of material possessions? I doubt it.
My aim in life, and one I have held since my teens is to be happy. I don't need to be famous or really rich. When asked a 'big' question by a close relative or friend one piece of advice I have given 1001 times over is "Do whatever is going to make you the happiest for the longest possible period of time".
If you can sit in that chair, smile and conclude, on balance, I have a happy life, then. in my opinion, you are a success in life.
Happiness.
There will always be mega bad and mega good days in life. There will always be success and failure. There will be many, many more days that are 'just another Tuesday'.
At the end of it all though, sitting back in your chair, everyone else upstairs in bed and you are in a reflective mood you can ask yourself a thousand questions. Have I got enough money. Have I done that job I said I would do. Is my son going to get his A levels. Should I really have made my polite excuses and scarpered when those two girls offered me a threesome when I was going out with someone else who would have known nothing about it. The list is endless but it all boils down to one thing. Am I happy? Yes I always want bigger, better, faster, more but will that mean I consider that I have made more of a success of life than if I never improve on my current haul of material possessions? I doubt it.
My aim in life, and one I have held since my teens is to be happy. I don't need to be famous or really rich. When asked a 'big' question by a close relative or friend one piece of advice I have given 1001 times over is "Do whatever is going to make you the happiest for the longest possible period of time".
If you can sit in that chair, smile and conclude, on balance, I have a happy life, then. in my opinion, you are a success in life.
Happiness.
But that has recently come due to material things actally - a house.
Finally managed to get into a proper long term house which is perfect for us in every way; 4 beds (future proof), amazing views, sunny garden, garage, off street parking etc etc.
Shallow maybe. But were both happy due to where we have managed to get recently basically.
But that has recently come due to material things actally - a house.
Finally managed to get into a proper long term house which is perfect for us in every way; 4 beds (future proof), amazing views, sunny garden, garage, off street parking etc etc.
Shallow maybe. But were both happy due to where we have managed to get recently basically.
All about happiness in my book. I spent two horrific years with an ex and I really began to turn into a bit of an ahole to everyone else around me. I am now with a new girl and smiling every day. That's all I need. Well that, and a roof over my head! I know some people earning north of £250k a year but they are tired/miserable/agitated practically every time I see them. fk that for a game of soldiers.
hole to everyone else around me. I am now with a new girl and smiling every day. That's all I need. Well that, and a roof over my head! I know some people earning north of £250k a year but they are tired/miserable/agitated practically every time I see them. fk that for a game of soldiers.Actually I would say that having 'loads a money' is one of the things that is least likely to help you be a success in life. Okay it buys a better class of failure but look at some of the richest people in the World. It would seem that all vast wealth buys all but a few is bigger problems.
Look at the Hair to the Ricci fortune - 12months French choky and £xMillion in fines and seizure orders. I'll wager she had no idea of the implications of the actions of her advisors, if it all fell over as it has, that will have lead her to this.
How about the TetraPak family? Getty family? the list goes on.
Look at the Hair to the Ricci fortune - 12months French choky and £xMillion in fines and seizure orders. I'll wager she had no idea of the implications of the actions of her advisors, if it all fell over as it has, that will have lead her to this.
How about the TetraPak family? Getty family? the list goes on.
Success in life is achieving what you genuinely want to achieve.
Of course people will have wildly different requirements and goals. And some of them will struggle to understand that not necessarily everyone shares their goals or requirements. That is why discussions of this sort of nature can get quite back bitey and nasty.
eg: someone has worked their @rse off to become a millionaire with a six pack. Which is great. They have succeeded at what they want. In the same way the man with a comfy house and a family he spends time with, that are happy and healthy may well have succeeded in what he wants. Which is also great. The trouble is, sometimes they will both decide that they have devined the only route to true success, and someone who has done it differently is jealous/shallow/bitter/whatever. I think some people like to think others are jealous of them. I know on some level I do, despite it being really tragic and me having nothing that people would be jealous of (I need to grow up in that respect).
This sort of subject is weird like that.
I am not sure I have figured out what I want to achieve yet, by the way.
Of course people will have wildly different requirements and goals. And some of them will struggle to understand that not necessarily everyone shares their goals or requirements. That is why discussions of this sort of nature can get quite back bitey and nasty.
eg: someone has worked their @rse off to become a millionaire with a six pack. Which is great. They have succeeded at what they want. In the same way the man with a comfy house and a family he spends time with, that are happy and healthy may well have succeeded in what he wants. Which is also great. The trouble is, sometimes they will both decide that they have devined the only route to true success, and someone who has done it differently is jealous/shallow/bitter/whatever. I think some people like to think others are jealous of them. I know on some level I do, despite it being really tragic and me having nothing that people would be jealous of (I need to grow up in that respect).
This sort of subject is weird like that.
I am not sure I have figured out what I want to achieve yet, by the way.
p1stonhead said:
Happiness.
But that has recently come due to material things actally - a house.
Finally managed to get into a proper long term house which is perfect for us in every way; 4 beds (future proof), amazing views, sunny garden, garage, off street parking etc etc.
Shallow maybe. But were both happy due to where we have managed to get recently basically.
I would not say that material possessions have no place in judging success in life. Only that the importance attached to them should not be one of value alone.But that has recently come due to material things actally - a house.
Finally managed to get into a proper long term house which is perfect for us in every way; 4 beds (future proof), amazing views, sunny garden, garage, off street parking etc etc.
Shallow maybe. But were both happy due to where we have managed to get recently basically.
I have no idea what your house cost but if it is where you want to be, affordable and makes you happy... For me one of the best days was when I realised that if it all turned to rat pooh tomorrow I could sell my current house and would have enough equity to buy something outright (perhaps not a house I want, but certainly one that would be sufficient for my needs). I would have enough savings to life an unaffected life for at least a couple of years without income and if I pulled everything right in I could likely make that go past 5 years without any income. Now to me that is not about money, that is about security. And being secure makes people feel happy...
Rude-boy said:
p1stonhead said:
Happiness.
But that has recently come due to material things actally - a house.
Finally managed to get into a proper long term house which is perfect for us in every way; 4 beds (future proof), amazing views, sunny garden, garage, off street parking etc etc.
Shallow maybe. But were both happy due to where we have managed to get recently basically.
I would not say that material possessions have no place in judging success in life. Only that the importance attached to them should not be one of value alone.But that has recently come due to material things actally - a house.
Finally managed to get into a proper long term house which is perfect for us in every way; 4 beds (future proof), amazing views, sunny garden, garage, off street parking etc etc.
Shallow maybe. But were both happy due to where we have managed to get recently basically.
I have no idea what your house cost but if it is where you want to be, affordable and makes you happy... For me one of the best days was when I realised that if it all turned to rat pooh tomorrow I could sell my current house and would have enough equity to buy something outright (perhaps not a house I want, but certainly one that would be sufficient for my needs). I would have enough savings to life an unaffected life for at least a couple of years without income and if I pulled everything right in I could likely make that go past 5 years without any income. Now to me that is not about money, that is about security. And being secure makes people feel happy...
Suppose the material things give us happiness same as anything else - its nice to be settled.
I would say that is about achieving your goals in life,and we all have different goals. If you look at the mirror image, failure, what I most see (at 66) when I look at people who are not, by their own standards, successful, it tends to be regrets such as:
- relationships with kids in a divorce
- lack of financial security for retirement due to poor planning.
- health issues that cause regrets about not having done things when they were young and healthy.
SO it seems to me that you set your own financial goals and decide how to balance your life, you need to look after your health and relationships and have some sense of achievement and self-worth. And whatever is on the ridiculous bucket list, now is always better than later.
Nothing worse that seeing old men with some money squiring beautiful girls who would have nothing to do with them if they were poor. Both look ridiculous. Do it when you're youngL)
- relationships with kids in a divorce
- lack of financial security for retirement due to poor planning.
- health issues that cause regrets about not having done things when they were young and healthy.
SO it seems to me that you set your own financial goals and decide how to balance your life, you need to look after your health and relationships and have some sense of achievement and self-worth. And whatever is on the ridiculous bucket list, now is always better than later.
Nothing worse that seeing old men with some money squiring beautiful girls who would have nothing to do with them if they were poor. Both look ridiculous. Do it when you're youngL)
Rude-boy said:
I would not say that material possessions have no place in judging success in life. Only that the importance attached to them should not be one of value alone.
So true. Buying stuff and satisfying wants should never be a substitute for happiness. I paid off my first mortgage quite early on but the quest to climb that property ladder became obsessive. Not saying it's a bad thing to be financially prudent but like you say "the bigger picture" is more important. Live and learn eh.RDMcG said:
Nothing worse that seeing old men with some money squiring beautiful girls who would have nothing to do with them if they were poor.
Why? They're both getting what they want - why should they care what anyone else thinks?If you're in that position when you're older I very much doubt your thought process will be "I'll take the wrinkly one with false teeth that smells of mothballs; Ludmilla may have huge norks and legs up to her armpits but I'd look ridiculous shagging a gorgeous 30 year old."
Happiness is surely a fk off triple garage and a cock load of old motorbikes to restore, with a butler bringing you coffee and an advert-less radio station playing your requests all day long.
Also being happy with who you are etc blah blah. In life as a whole I hope I'm never on my deathbed wishing I'd done something I hadn't, but could've quite easily.
k off triple garage and a cock load of old motorbikes to restore, with a butler bringing you coffee and an advert-less radio station playing your requests all day long.Also being happy with who you are etc blah blah. In life as a whole I hope I'm never on my deathbed wishing I'd done something I hadn't, but could've quite easily.
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