Geek Jokes

[Salgar]

zac510 said:

KenBlocksPants said:

snowy slopes said:

JonRB said:

y282 said:

zac510 said:

I think I read this one on here actually.

One day a wife was in the kitchen and realised she needed some things from the shop. She called on her developer husband to run down the shop and pick up the goods. "I need you to pick up a loaf of bread and if they have eggs, get half a dozen."

A short while later the husband returns to wife with 6 loaves of bread.

"They had eggs!" the husband explained.

i just read that 3 times, the third very slowly, possibly mouthing it.

then i found it very, very funny.

Same here.

D'you know, i have looked at that joke for the last two days now, and didnt get it, but have finally seen the funny side of it

I give in... please explain

Shop shop = new Shop();

if(shop.hasEggs()) shop.getBread(6);
else shop.getBread(1);

does that help?

Someone walked up to my desk while this joke was up and said 'surely she wanted 7 loaves', which i'm inclined to agree with.

[tribbles]

bread = 1 & (eggs ? 6 : 0)

Always = 0.

Therefore nothing was wanted.

[aclivity]

A man was in a hot air balloon, lost and losing altitude in fog. Suddenly there was a clear patch, and he saw a man standing on a rocky outcrop.

One of the men shouted out "where are we?"

The man on the rocky outcrop said "In a hot air balloon"

The man in the balloon said "you're in IT aren't you?"

The rocky outcrop guy said "Yes, how could you tell?"

Balloon man "Well, you gave me an answer that is correct, but of no use to me whatsoever. I'm still lost."

Rocky: "You're in management aren't you?"

Balloon: "Yes, how could you tell?"

Rocky: "I gave you the accurate answer to your question, but you aren't happy, and now it's my fault".





There is another version, two men in a helicopter, lost in fog. They see a man on the top of a building, so the pilot asks where they are. He answers "in a helicopter". The pilot says "Thanks for that, I know where to go now" and he navigates safely to the airport and lands. The passenger asks how he knew where to go, to which the pilot said "I asked that man on the building where I was and he told me I was in a helicopter. His answer was correct but of no use to me, so I knew he must be on the roof of the IBM building".

[williskwl]

[quote]
A bit like this one :


[/quote]

In my first lecture in System Design and Requirements the lecturer showed that slide. So true..

[y282]

what language is this?

Shop shop = new Shop();

if(shop.hasEggs()) shop.getBread(6);
else shop.getBread(1);

...because it looks a lot like actionscript.

[matt9k]

y282 said:

what language is this?

Shop shop = new Shop();

if(shop.hasEggs()) shop.getBread(6);
else shop.getBread(1);

...because it looks a lot like actionscript.

Looks like Lingo to me, but I've not done shockwave dev for a very long time.

[zac510]

y282 said:

what language is this?

...because it looks a lot like actionscript.

It's no language and not even correct code. I just made it up.

[Hanslow]

[john2443]

IT geek was swept away from the beach and in danger of drowning so he waved his arms in the air and shouted F1 ! F1!

[john2443]

Salgar said:

zac510 said:

KenBlocksPants said:

snowy slopes said:

JonRB said:

y282 said:

zac510 said:

I think I read this one on here actually.

One day a wife was in the kitchen and realised she needed some things from the shop. She called on her developer husband to run down the shop and pick up the goods. "I need you to pick up a loaf of bread and if they have eggs, get half a dozen."

A short while later the husband returns to wife with 6 loaves of bread.

"They had eggs!" the husband explained.

i just read that 3 times, the third very slowly, possibly mouthing it.

then i found it very, very funny.

Same here.

D'you know, i have looked at that joke for the last two days now, and didnt get it, but have finally seen the funny side of it

I give in... please explain

Shop shop = new Shop();

if(shop.hasEggs()) shop.getBread(6);
else shop.getBread(1);

does that help?

Someone walked up to my desk while this joke was up and said 'surely she wanted 7 loaves', which I'm inclined to agree with.

The original that I read was a dozen loaves, not 6, so the ensuing debate was whether he should have bought 13 or 14. (Bakers dozen and bakers doz plus the original one.

[john2443]

A shepherd says to his sheepdog, gointo that field and count the sheep.

The dog runs off, comes back 2 mins later and says 'There are 40'

The shepherd says 'That's funny, there should only be 37' and the dog says 'Yes I know, but I rounded them up!'

[Dr Jekyll]

A mosquito was heard to complain
that the chemists had poisoned his brain
that the cause of his sorrow
was paradichloro
diphenyltrichloroethane.

[Frankthered]

jas xjr said:

How can you tell if a geekengineer is an extrovert ? He looks at your shoes as he talks to you

EFA

@marshalla this was just as good on page 1!

[y282]

matt9k said:

y282 said:

what language is this?

Shop shop = new Shop();

if(shop.hasEggs()) shop.getBread(6);
else shop.getBread(1);

...because it looks a lot like actionscript.

Looks like Lingo to me, but I've not done shockwave dev for a very long time.

aah, lingo.

• wipes away a tear.

[havoc]

This thread raises a question - how many different flavours* of geek are there?!?




* Strains, isotopes, versions etc. depending on perspective!

[TheEnd]

havoc said:

This thread raises a question - how many different flavours* of geek are there?!?




* Strains, isotopes, versions etc. depending on perspective!

You just know a geek is going to make a picture of that to impress the ladies.

[MuffDaddy]

mrmr96 said:

Why are all gay scientists the same?
Because they're homogeneous. (homo genius)

What is a gay geeks favourite command?
C: enter

[Pigeon]

john2443 said:

IT geek was swept away from the beach and in danger of drowning so he waved his arms in the air and shouted F1 ! F1!

man lifeguard

[JonRB]

[JonRB]