How do you measure success in life?
Discussion
Bluebarge said:
Why? They're both getting what they want - why should they care what anyone else thinks?
If you're in that position when you're older I very much doubt your thought process will be "I'll take the wrinkly one with false teeth that smells of mothballs; Ludmilla may have huge norks and legs up to her armpits but I'd look ridiculous shagging a gorgeous 30 year old."
But would the reality be as good as the dream? You know she's fIf you're in that position when you're older I very much doubt your thought process will be "I'll take the wrinkly one with false teeth that smells of mothballs; Ludmilla may have huge norks and legs up to her armpits but I'd look ridiculous shagging a gorgeous 30 year old."
king you for your money and she knows you know she's fking you for your money. And the sex is probably totally fake and every time you stick your cock in her she's probably got a bored look on her face, or worse, one of disgust. And she's probably thinking about the next clandestine meeting with the gardener. and your wrinkly old ass probably blows its load far too soon anyway. How happy would you really be?tricky one I think.
having a lot of time on my hands would make me happy. I think that happiness is a factor of hope and opportunity, when you are 17 hope is high, when you are 77 hope I presume is fairly low, and the gradient seems to drop rapidly in the earlier years and level off a bit. opportunity is more short term and fluctuating, so I would guess there was a sweet spot in my life when hope was high and a good opportunity had presented itself and it's been downhill ever since....
having a lot of time on my hands would make me happy. I think that happiness is a factor of hope and opportunity, when you are 17 hope is high, when you are 77 hope I presume is fairly low, and the gradient seems to drop rapidly in the earlier years and level off a bit. opportunity is more short term and fluctuating, so I would guess there was a sweet spot in my life when hope was high and a good opportunity had presented itself and it's been downhill ever since....
Success in life is :
A, Being respected and loved by your family and friends.
B, Being able to look in the mirror and not be ashamed of the person you see.
C, Having the freedom to be able to wake up in the morning and decide for yourself what to to that day. A person who has to work 60 hours a week is not successful, no matter how much they earn.
I'm doing OK at A & B, but C is proving somewhat more problematic.......
A, Being respected and loved by your family and friends.
B, Being able to look in the mirror and not be ashamed of the person you see.
C, Having the freedom to be able to wake up in the morning and decide for yourself what to to that day. A person who has to work 60 hours a week is not successful, no matter how much they earn.
I'm doing OK at A & B, but C is proving somewhat more problematic.......
I went to a funeral two weeks ago, it was my oldest friends father, he had died in his early 70s as a result of being exposed to asbestos.
They were an extremely poor family years ago, he did menial jobs all his life, he was content with life and had a nice retirement surrounded by his grandkids, he had 3 daughters and 1 son, all grew up on the staight and narrow.
He was the most selfless person I have met, everything in life was all about his family, sure we took the piss out of his Maxi when we were kids, but he is the one person who I think was a winner.
The crem was packed out at his funeral, he had been married 51 years, left little money, left 4 kids, 10 grandkids , seeing how close his family were really made me think.
The biggest honour for me though was being asked to sit with the family, I have known them all my life ( 44 years ) and they consider me part of their family.
That was high praise.
He was a winner in life.
They were an extremely poor family years ago, he did menial jobs all his life, he was content with life and had a nice retirement surrounded by his grandkids, he had 3 daughters and 1 son, all grew up on the staight and narrow.
He was the most selfless person I have met, everything in life was all about his family, sure we took the piss out of his Maxi when we were kids, but he is the one person who I think was a winner.
The crem was packed out at his funeral, he had been married 51 years, left little money, left 4 kids, 10 grandkids , seeing how close his family were really made me think.
The biggest honour for me though was being asked to sit with the family, I have known them all my life ( 44 years ) and they consider me part of their family.
That was high praise.
He was a winner in life.
Animal said:
Crush your enemies
See them driven before you
And hear the lamentation of their women.
(It's interesting googling the origin of that phrase. Spoken by Conan in the film, obviously, but it isn't really one of his).See them driven before you
And hear the lamentation of their women.
I think achieving what you wanted as a child is high up there. A long list of those, ticked off, would be nice. The love and respect of your children is a more adult one to add to the list.
I think, e.g. Brian Blessed is right up there as a benchmark. Much more so than many rich folk.
Bit of a yarn, but good to get things off your chest sometimes 
Despite my fairly young age I've always been attached to the (pretty old school, now) notion of home ownership being a big deal.
The good lady and I spent several years in our late teens/early twenties living well beyond our means, and as a result - aged 25 - had £30k of credit card debt between us. Absolutely staggering. And the dream of having our own house seemed an absolute impossibility (at least not before it was too late), especially seeing our friends from school, work etc. getting married, having children and buying homes.
Yesterday, our mortgage application went in, having turned a £30k debt into enough savings to put a deposit down on a nice house in the 2 and a half years that followed. We've worked our asses off over those years having realised we were never going to get what we wanted out of life without making serious changes.
Felt pretty damned good walking away from the mortgage broker with a smile on our faces, coming from where we were, less than three years ago.
We are now looking forward to the good things in life - we are getting our own home and making plans for the future and a family.
So for me, success will be stepping into that home for the first time, knowing that we made that transformation without any assistance from anyone but ourselves, and knowing that we have so many good things to look forward to.
Then when we start a family, success will be measured in terms of that family being healthy and happy.
Despite my fairly young age I've always been attached to the (pretty old school, now) notion of home ownership being a big deal.
The good lady and I spent several years in our late teens/early twenties living well beyond our means, and as a result - aged 25 - had £30k of credit card debt between us. Absolutely staggering. And the dream of having our own house seemed an absolute impossibility (at least not before it was too late), especially seeing our friends from school, work etc. getting married, having children and buying homes.
Yesterday, our mortgage application went in, having turned a £30k debt into enough savings to put a deposit down on a nice house in the 2 and a half years that followed. We've worked our asses off over those years having realised we were never going to get what we wanted out of life without making serious changes.
Felt pretty damned good walking away from the mortgage broker with a smile on our faces, coming from where we were, less than three years ago.
We are now looking forward to the good things in life - we are getting our own home and making plans for the future and a family.
So for me, success will be stepping into that home for the first time, knowing that we made that transformation without any assistance from anyone but ourselves, and knowing that we have so many good things to look forward to.
Then when we start a family, success will be measured in terms of that family being healthy and happy.
3 things
How happy my wife and kids are.
How much I want to get out of bed in the morning.
and how little of the day I regret when I get in the bed at night.
I was once told, that it is not the things you don't have that will make you happy, but enjoying what you do have that brings happiness and contentment.
How happy my wife and kids are.
How much I want to get out of bed in the morning.
and how little of the day I regret when I get in the bed at night.
I was once told, that it is not the things you don't have that will make you happy, but enjoying what you do have that brings happiness and contentment.
IMO there's a couple of aspects to this. You need to get the basics sorted - food, shelter, income. Once those are above a minimum acceptable standard (which is different for each individual), then my measures of success changes to more esoteric factors - happiness, contentment, family.
Biological "success" could be defined as raising progeny to independence, or more broadly helping your tribe raise the next generation.
I'll consider my life successful when my daughter is an independent, confident, well adjusted, well educated young woman. At least 20 years to go I reckon!
Biological "success" could be defined as raising progeny to independence, or more broadly helping your tribe raise the next generation.
I'll consider my life successful when my daughter is an independent, confident, well adjusted, well educated young woman. At least 20 years to go I reckon!
BRISTOL86 said:
Then when we start a family, success will be measured in terms of that family being healthy and happy.
But if I may, if you measure success by 3rd party achievement you're saying unless they are x and y, you're not successful. Success to me is a state of mind, a direction to be going in, rather than a yard stick. If, and I hope they arent, if your family isnt healthy, does that make you unsuccessful? That's something you cant control and has a direct impact on how successful you perceive yourself to be. You're unsuccessful in life if you dont have a family that's healthy and happy.
If success measurement is goal oriented, and I dont like to measure life points things by goals. It's too short term, and leads to 'what next' when you reach a goal.People graduating have this problem, spend years studying for an achievement and when they graduate they're sometimes left hollow inside, like, OK, I did all this, now what do I do
I prefer general directions, of living my life in a certain moral and ehtical way. Like, I want to life my life like this, and as long as I'm living it like this, then it's a success.
If I spin that around, take your example, I would consider myself successfully living the life I want to live if I was able to give my kids all the love I can, however happy and healthy they are. I'm more in control of that, and if I think I'm failing, I can change it.
Edited by andy-xr on Tuesday 14th April 09:14
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