How Solid Really is Your Marriage
Discussion
Ari said:
I think the idea is that your wife loves you and wants to be with you (and vice versa).
If you view relationships like buying a car, this'll do till I can afford something better, then I guess it is only a matter of time.
Wait. What? Is there a trade in value on my wife? WBAW?If you view relationships like buying a car, this'll do till I can afford something better, then I guess it is only a matter of time.
FocusRS3 said:
jonah35 said:
I don’t think very solid
If a better guy comes along or a better woman then the other person would often wish to leave.
Also, if you were married to a woman and a better guy came along - better looking, more successful, funnier and could make her happier etc then wouldn’t you want your wife to be happier than if she stayed with you?! Tongue in cheek point but aren’t you supposed to want what is best for your wife
Are you saying that your own marriage isn't very solid ?If a better guy comes along or a better woman then the other person would often wish to leave.
Also, if you were married to a woman and a better guy came along - better looking, more successful, funnier and could make her happier etc then wouldn’t you want your wife to be happier than if she stayed with you?! Tongue in cheek point but aren’t you supposed to want what is best for your wife
Strange is life eh?
If your wife turns fat and away from the woman you married and became miserable and staid then you’ve gotta stay with her - it’s a hard thing to grasp
How do you know at 25 that you will want to be with, fancy, admire and love your wife at age 60?
You have no idea how your careers will turn out and about all the ups and downs of life or if she gets a job abroad or in a random location that you have to follow her to
I don’t know whether to admire people that are married or think they’re nuts - bit of a dilemma really and I can see both sides of the argument
It’s not for me but I think the honest answer to the question on how solid is your marriage the answer is you don’t know. You may love your wife and think everything is rosy but how do you know she feels the same?! I’m sure today there are thousands of men blissfully unaware that their wife is planning to leave them after Christmas and having an affair
I sound really cynical lol 😆
If your wife turns fat and away from the woman you married and became miserable and staid then you’ve gotta stay with her - it’s a hard thing to grasp
How do you know at 25 that you will want to be with, fancy, admire and love your wife at age 60?
You have no idea how your careers will turn out and about all the ups and downs of life or if she gets a job abroad or in a random location that you have to follow her to
I don’t know whether to admire people that are married or think they’re nuts - bit of a dilemma really and I can see both sides of the argument
It’s not for me but I think the honest answer to the question on how solid is your marriage the answer is you don’t know. You may love your wife and think everything is rosy but how do you know she feels the same?! I’m sure today there are thousands of men blissfully unaware that their wife is planning to leave them after Christmas and having an affair
I sound really cynical lol 😆
A lot of it is luck. You are right to point out that people change over time and you are lucky you'll grow to be more alike.
Mrs FP and I have a similar outlook these days but my word when I think back to when we were in our early 20s we were like absolute chalk and cheese. She's always been the homely type not much into going out and that sort of thing. I was a bit of a hellraiser but she let me get on with it. Now my hellraising days are just about over I'd much rather be doing the sorts of things she likes. This strictly excludes shopping or visiting garden centres these are two activities I will never get involved with.
If you are lucky you'll just find less stuff to conflict with each other over. If you have a skeleton in the cupboard like disagreement over having kids or careers or what have you it can be damaging. Really it it boils down to what your aspirations for the future are I guess. If you are happy and plod along without thinking about it that's a Pretty good place to be. Info fact its probably the place we all aspire to get to.
Mrs FP and I have a similar outlook these days but my word when I think back to when we were in our early 20s we were like absolute chalk and cheese. She's always been the homely type not much into going out and that sort of thing. I was a bit of a hellraiser but she let me get on with it. Now my hellraising days are just about over I'd much rather be doing the sorts of things she likes. This strictly excludes shopping or visiting garden centres these are two activities I will never get involved with.
If you are lucky you'll just find less stuff to conflict with each other over. If you have a skeleton in the cupboard like disagreement over having kids or careers or what have you it can be damaging. Really it it boils down to what your aspirations for the future are I guess. If you are happy and plod along without thinking about it that's a Pretty good place to be. Info fact its probably the place we all aspire to get to.
A wise (and divorced) man once told me when I was a young man 'don't ever marry before you're forty', and I think that is probably good advice. At least you've got a reasonable chance of knowing who you (and she) are by then. In your teens, twenties and thirties you change a lot. I'm not saying that you stop changing, but I think the rate slows considerably.
Ari said:
A wise (and divorced) man once told me when I was a young man 'don't ever marry before you're forty', and I think that is probably good advice. At least you've got a reasonable chance of knowing who you (and she) are by then. In your teens, twenties and thirties you change a lot. I'm not saying that you stop changing, but I think the rate slows considerably.
Fine as long as you don't want children. Risks to a baby increase the older parents are, also becomes harder to conceive for some. Nature doesn't agree with your wise man
And if you have kids but don't marry, separation will still be expensive!
hyphen said:
Fine as long as you don't want children. Risks to a baby increase the older parents are, also becomes harder to conceive for some.
Nature doesn't agree with your wise man And if you have kids but don't marry, separation will still be expensive!
That is a fair comment though. Ah well, you pays your money and you takes your chances then I guess. Nature doesn't agree with your wise man
And if you have kids but don't marry, separation will still be expensive!
Ari said:
A wise (and divorced) man once told me when I was a young man 'don't ever marry before you're forty', .
If you did have kids that could work well - they'd be going off to uni when you'd probably cleared the mortgage and by the time they had their own kids, you'd be too old to be roped into free grandchild minding.
Our marriage is quite solid./ We have similar interests and differing interests. We give each other space and have time together. I always get a smile on my face when I see her unexpectedly.
We have had 3 wonderful daughters two are doing well in different areas of work. Our other who passed away at a young age.
We have similar humour laugh at similar things.
We have had 3 wonderful daughters two are doing well in different areas of work. Our other who passed away at a young age.
We have similar humour laugh at similar things.
techiedave said:
Our marriage is quite solid./ We have similar interests and differing interests. We give each other space and have time together. I always get a smile on my face when I see her unexpectedly.
We have had 3 wonderful daughters two are doing well in different areas of work. Our other who passed away at a young age.
We have similar humour laugh at similar things.
Dave, you clearly have a wonderful relationship good for you .We have had 3 wonderful daughters two are doing well in different areas of work. Our other who passed away at a young age.
We have similar humour laugh at similar things.
Sorry to hear about the passing of one of your children , you are clearly a strong couple .
I’ve been married 17 years, can’t imagine being without my wife, and daughters. I’m quite an insular character, quite happy in my own company and need my space. My wife talks enough for the both of us, which suits me fine. When we first got together my wife was working shifts which really helped the both of us. Me, as it gave me time on my own, which I need, but also to get used to what she was like. And the same for her, it gave us both time to adjust to being in each other’s company but also gave us each some space, until we realised long term we’d be good together. We have the normal niggles at each other now and again, which is usually triggered by bringing home work stress and then ‘blowing out the lines’ .
We only really argue when she arranges social events without consulting me. And I particular don’t like people in my house. There are a core of maybe six people whom i class as true friends who are welcome anytime, without warning, and can stay as long as they want. Everyone else can f
k off, it’s my home, not a community centre!!!!!
We only really argue when she arranges social events without consulting me. And I particular don’t like people in my house. There are a core of maybe six people whom i class as true friends who are welcome anytime, without warning, and can stay as long as they want. Everyone else can f
k off, it’s my home, not a community centre!!!!! FocusRS3 said:
techiedave said:
Our marriage is quite solid./ We have similar interests and differing interests. We give each other space and have time together. I always get a smile on my face when I see her unexpectedly.
We have had 3 wonderful daughters two are doing well in different areas of work. Our other who passed away at a young age.
We have similar humour laugh at similar things.
Dave, you clearly have a wonderful relationship good for you .We have had 3 wonderful daughters two are doing well in different areas of work. Our other who passed away at a young age.
We have similar humour laugh at similar things.
Sorry to hear about the passing of one of your children , you are clearly a strong couple .
Relationships can be funny things .As can the way people get together. Something we are reminded of just this time of year - 11 years to the day. yesterday. Some friends of ours - John being in a bad relationship Hayley being single got err together 11 years ago today/yesterday. At an office party. Thing was Hays always used to slag John off as they frequently clashed at work . Anyway the big Xmas party arrived the usual start in the office go to the venue then a pub crawl. I remember my wife saying it might be awkward.
Thing is the two in question spent time together and mysteriously disappeared between venues. They had their little hook up and it was the talk of the office. Thing is they ended up together and ten years later are married have a lovely son and are very commited. After it was clear they were a couple he applied to move to another department in case of any conflicts of interests but the two departments merged three years later and there were never any issues.
They even drive each others cars from time to time - Mini Cooper and Range Rover don't seem to argue about that either.Relationships like I said funny things
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