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first time snowboarding at Sheffiel ski village. a mate was in the british u21 team so blagged 2 of us onto the main slope and gave us, oh, 5 mins of instruction. by the end of the hour I'd managed to tear the tendons in my left shoulder by running full tilt into the catch nets,and my mate broke his collar bone attempting a jump. worst part was driving home, changing gear was agony.
3rd yr uni project, was working in the wind tunnels at barton and walking whilst carrying the model I'd spent ages making. should've been looking where I was going as I headbutted a steel beam and put a 4"gash in my skull right to the bone. didn't really hurt but it had coagulated and matted my hair by the time I made it to a&e so had to have it cleaned with a scrubbing brush by the triage nurse.
worst 'serves you right' treatment I've had was in greece after I fell off a scooter, tearing strips of skin from my arms and destroying both palms on the gravel - I could see the tendons in my right hand it was so deep.at the hospital, my wounds were scrubbed clean with hydrogen peroxide and then swabbed with iodine. ouchy mc ouch! still had to drive the fecking scooter 50 odd km as well
3rd yr uni project, was working in the wind tunnels at barton and walking whilst carrying the model I'd spent ages making. should've been looking where I was going as I headbutted a steel beam and put a 4"gash in my skull right to the bone. didn't really hurt but it had coagulated and matted my hair by the time I made it to a&e so had to have it cleaned with a scrubbing brush by the triage nurse.
worst 'serves you right' treatment I've had was in greece after I fell off a scooter, tearing strips of skin from my arms and destroying both palms on the gravel - I could see the tendons in my right hand it was so deep.at the hospital, my wounds were scrubbed clean with hydrogen peroxide and then swabbed with iodine. ouchy mc ouch! still had to drive the fecking scooter 50 odd km as well
shirt said:
in greece after I fell off a scooter, tearing strips of skin from my arms and destroying both palms on the gravel - I could see the tendons in my right hand it was so deep.at the hospital, my wounds were scrubbed clean with hydrogen peroxide and then swabbed with iodine. ouchy mc ouch! still had to drive the fecking scooter 50 odd km as well
Yikes! I did something similar, but not as bad. I had a z1100 in the uk at the time (so could ride), but went on hols and hired some poxy scooter in Paros, tried to lean around a corner (they don't do leaning, I learnt) and skidded off in the gravel.... hands, elbows, knees all scraped. Kind of fecked the holiday a bit AND the hire company were not happy about it.on a camping trip with a few mates, i decided to drink almost my bodyweight in southern comfort during the course of the evening. By about 2am most people had crashed out but i decided to get up and go take a piss. Unfortunately i didnt see the large logs on the floor we put down around the fire. I tripped on one and fell into the bonfire on my left side. Aparrantly i was there for a few seconds before someone noticed and pulled me out.
Everyone was woken with the 'look at what payners done the stupid a
hole' remarks and everone had a right laugh. Then they noticed two bits of white hot coal stuck inside the palm of my left hand and my left wrist. Probably burning for at least 90 seconds.
I woke up in frenchay burns unit with constricted tendons in my left hand and my name on the skin graft list. It truly was agony as burns continue to give a burning sensation for ages after the incident.
I have not been camping since.
Everyone was woken with the 'look at what payners done the stupid a
hole' remarks and everone had a right laugh. Then they noticed two bits of white hot coal stuck inside the palm of my left hand and my left wrist. Probably burning for at least 90 seconds. I woke up in frenchay burns unit with constricted tendons in my left hand and my name on the skin graft list. It truly was agony as burns continue to give a burning sensation for ages after the incident.
I have not been camping since.
fergywales said:
After years of ear and hearing problems, all swept aside by the wonder that is the NHS, was living in France for a year and was struck down with a massive inner ear infection.
After 5 days in hospital on introvenous antibiotics (just in case had spread to spinal and cerebral fluids) was informed by nice consultant that they'd like to perform an 'exploratory internal examination' under general anesthetic. Explain the procedure as going in via the ear canal with camera and inspecting inner ear and mastoid bone.
So, off to surgery, wake up a couple of hours later to feel rather tight headed, very concerned looking mother sat next to me, ashen-faced and a bit weepy. Reach up and find head bandaged like an extra from M*A*S*H. Consultant pops in later to inform me that they'd discovered a cholesteatoma and also had to remove the mastoid bone. This had been done by removing the ear (!) by cutting behind and folding over my cheek.
The worst pain I have ever felt came 5 days later however, when nice consultant was peppered with the best Britain has to offer in swearing as he was removing the wadding from the inner ear. Basically cotton wool twice the diameter of a wine cork being pulled away from unhealed surgical wounds and out through the ear hole.
Actually cried like a baby afterwards, as even the breeze from moving my head caused me to double up in pain.
Funny (for others) outcome is that I can now only sleep in a certain position due to the messing with my inner ear having triggered BBPV, and if I roll over in the night can be inclined to projectile vomit due to dizziness. Not good for SWMBO lol
OMG that's horridAfter 5 days in hospital on introvenous antibiotics (just in case had spread to spinal and cerebral fluids) was informed by nice consultant that they'd like to perform an 'exploratory internal examination' under general anesthetic. Explain the procedure as going in via the ear canal with camera and inspecting inner ear and mastoid bone.
So, off to surgery, wake up a couple of hours later to feel rather tight headed, very concerned looking mother sat next to me, ashen-faced and a bit weepy. Reach up and find head bandaged like an extra from M*A*S*H. Consultant pops in later to inform me that they'd discovered a cholesteatoma and also had to remove the mastoid bone. This had been done by removing the ear (!) by cutting behind and folding over my cheek.
The worst pain I have ever felt came 5 days later however, when nice consultant was peppered with the best Britain has to offer in swearing as he was removing the wadding from the inner ear. Basically cotton wool twice the diameter of a wine cork being pulled away from unhealed surgical wounds and out through the ear hole.
Actually cried like a baby afterwards, as even the breeze from moving my head caused me to double up in pain.
Funny (for others) outcome is that I can now only sleep in a certain position due to the messing with my inner ear having triggered BBPV, and if I roll over in the night can be inclined to projectile vomit due to dizziness. Not good for SWMBO lol
Maybe not in the same kind of ballpark but i have had a rather large needle inserted into the side of my tongue for a local, and then they pulled my tongue out and cut a nice little lump from the end of my tongue (blocked saliva gland)whilst i was trying to focus my eyes in on what they were doing.. then they hooked a circular needle though my tongue a few times for the stitches...was horrendous particularly when the local wore off on the way home i felt sick as a dog.
Edited by J-Tuner on Thursday 8th April 17:26
some bugger stamped on my ankle in a rugby match once and shattered it- in a vain attempt to be the "hard man" i played the rest of the game, and 20 minutes of the next game in the afternoon- i still pick bits of bone from under the skin.
fully dislocating a shoulder was painful, but a pitch side doctor pulled it back in about 20 seconds after it popped so that made the pain far more measurable.
That was quite painful but absolutely nothing compared to the pain of 2 impacted wisdom teeth with a rotten cavity- sounds like nothing, but more painful than you could ever imagine- intravenous morphine didn't touch it. The emergency dentist drilled the tooth (with no aneasthetic because the drilling into the nerve was less painful)- when all the pus came out and the pressure releived itself i immediately fainted/went unconscious as the morphine suddenly "kicked in".
Things you think would hurt but don't really include stitches (even without aneasthetic they're not that painful), cracking you're skull (bit dangerous but surprisingly pain free) and cutting the tip of a finger off with a bandsaw (do it quickly enough and someone else has to tell you that there's blood everywhere!)
fully dislocating a shoulder was painful, but a pitch side doctor pulled it back in about 20 seconds after it popped so that made the pain far more measurable.
That was quite painful but absolutely nothing compared to the pain of 2 impacted wisdom teeth with a rotten cavity- sounds like nothing, but more painful than you could ever imagine- intravenous morphine didn't touch it. The emergency dentist drilled the tooth (with no aneasthetic because the drilling into the nerve was less painful)- when all the pus came out and the pressure releived itself i immediately fainted/went unconscious as the morphine suddenly "kicked in".
Things you think would hurt but don't really include stitches (even without aneasthetic they're not that painful), cracking you're skull (bit dangerous but surprisingly pain free) and cutting the tip of a finger off with a bandsaw (do it quickly enough and someone else has to tell you that there's blood everywhere!)
Davey S2 said:
The next time you are using a can of deodorant squirt it and put the tip of your finger in the gas right where it comes out of the nozzle and try and hold it there. It f**king kills and they did that for ages to burn my verruca off.
That would be frozen off with liquid nitrogen. I had a wart removed from the tip of my finger that way. One go isn't enough - they give you a bit of frostbite, it blisters, rots and falls off, revealing a bit more of the wart. Repeat until it's all gone. So on the first appointment, the nurse says "you should take a couple of painkillers half an hour beforehand, it will help", and I think "why didn't you fers put that on the appointment?". Hurts at first, a lot, but soon goes numb. Wonder what the fuss was about, book the next appointment, walk out to the car. By then, it's thawed out, and the feeling has come back, and then you realise why they suggested the painkillers.Pretty painful and very disgusting, but not in the same league as some of the horrors people are coming out with, IMO.
When I was about 11 or 12, I was with a few buddies riding our bikes. On the way home I went to ramp a kerb, only I didn't see the storm drain conveniently placed in front of me. My front wheel hooked into one of the slots and I launched arse over tit clean above the handlebars (yay, no racking the nuts), only to land directly on my left elbow and knee. That iodine stuff really, really hurts. My elbow doesn't look too bad any more (small clear bit of skin-thing where the cut was) but my knee seems to have fared worse as it's a bit flatter and can straighten a lot further than my right knee (if I'm lying flat on my back I can fairly easily rest the back of my calf on the floor, and I have stick thin legs).
Another anecdote involves a buddy of mine a few years ago pedalling heavily down a hill (a good precursor to any wipeout story). As he was at the top of his cycle, standing up, one of his pedals snapped clean off. I was next to him and I distinctly remember the "durrrr..." look he had on his face while he slowly careened down the hill and crashed into a tree. Why he didn't put the brakes on I have no idea, but it made for interesting watching.
I recently recovered from a bout of the fever and while physically it's not the worst thing in the world, it was pretty mentally stressful. Lying awake for two days just shivering and hallucinating crop circlessounds like an extended shroom trip felt pretty st.
Another anecdote involves a buddy of mine a few years ago pedalling heavily down a hill (a good precursor to any wipeout story). As he was at the top of his cycle, standing up, one of his pedals snapped clean off. I was next to him and I distinctly remember the "durrrr..." look he had on his face while he slowly careened down the hill and crashed into a tree. Why he didn't put the brakes on I have no idea, but it made for interesting watching.
I recently recovered from a bout of the fever and while physically it's not the worst thing in the world, it was pretty mentally stressful. Lying awake for two days just shivering and hallucinating crop circles
t.Probably tearing my ACL in my knee.
Went to jump over the keeper and landed with my leg totally straight - it felt like jelly afterwards - all wobbly.
I tried to carry on playing, I even managed to get a one on one with the keeper, was trying to run towards the goal and fel over in a heap, everyone else was wondering WTF.
Went to jump over the keeper and landed with my leg totally straight - it felt like jelly afterwards - all wobbly.
I tried to carry on playing, I even managed to get a one on one with the keeper, was trying to run towards the goal and fel over in a heap, everyone else was wondering WTF.
gilla said:
Tooth removed without anaesthetic... bad news
Try getting root canal treatment minus anaesthetic,I left holes in the arm of the chair due to digging my nails in so much and a puddle of tears on the floor. Bastid dentist told me not to be such a baby and then charged me for the fking pleasure,twisted SWTSlipping backwards up the concrete steps into my Geography classroom at School in yr11, the day of my 6th Form Interview, I landed on the medal edging of a step, on my coxis. Never 100% sure, but we think I cracked it. Spent 40mins kneeling at my desk until my Dad came to collect me for my interview, passed out as I tried to sit down in the reception office. Then nearly did it again whilst trying to get in and sit down in the car and then again driving up the lane I used to live on (unmade track) in a fairly stiffly sprung Audi with fairly hard leather seats...
Snapping my 5th metatarsal didn't hurt anywhere near as much, not even when my sister (pushing me in a wheelchair around Southampton Airport 3days later) smashed it into the Check-In Desk, a door frame, and massive pyramid of Toblerone in the Duty Free shop!!!!
Snapping my 5th metatarsal didn't hurt anywhere near as much, not even when my sister (pushing me in a wheelchair around Southampton Airport 3days later) smashed it into the Check-In Desk, a door frame, and massive pyramid of Toblerone in the Duty Free shop!!!!
About ten years ago in autumn a friends 8 year old son badgered me to play conkers with him, he had two huge conkers on strings and nobody else would play the game so i offered to have just a couple of swings and that would be it. I expected him to miss, I would hit his conker hard and it would be game over, but it didn't go to plan, he had first swing and cracked my conker square on, no problem I thought, one good sharp hit and the game is mine, I took a bit of a swing, well, as hard as I could without making it look too obvious that I didn't really want to play for long, and missed, completely, except the momentum of this conker carried on at huge speed and only stopped when it hit something soft, one of a pair of soft things hanging innocently behind my trouser zipper, I had about ten milliseconds which was enough to think "I got away with that it doesn't hurt at all" before that stomach wrenching pain hit and floored me, i half crawled half walked to the toilet to try to escape the inane laughter from my wife, and worse, her mother as they realised exactly what had happened.
I spent what felt like hours feeling really sick and partially conscious whilst sat on the toilet trying to hold what was left of my privates in some position which wouldn't hurt as leaving "parts hanging" so to speak, was like hanging a housebrick from them and therefore impossible,once the pain had subsided a little i made my way straight to a hot bath to attempt some pain relief and then to bed with a probable overdose of nurofen.
When i awoke the next day i was more than a little lopsided but never mentioned this to the wife as almost the first things she asked as I woke was "how're your conkers?" The answer was fairly rude as i remember, and walking or even moving about at work was interesting for the next couple of days, even getting into and out of my car was a slow steady affair, but my colleagues never found out the truth either thankfully.
Never get competitive with conkers, a twenty year gap from playing them is not good for the aim, at all.
I spent what felt like hours feeling really sick and partially conscious whilst sat on the toilet trying to hold what was left of my privates in some position which wouldn't hurt as leaving "parts hanging" so to speak, was like hanging a housebrick from them and therefore impossible,once the pain had subsided a little i made my way straight to a hot bath to attempt some pain relief and then to bed with a probable overdose of nurofen.
When i awoke the next day i was more than a little lopsided but never mentioned this to the wife as almost the first things she asked as I woke was "how're your conkers?" The answer was fairly rude as i remember, and walking or even moving about at work was interesting for the next couple of days, even getting into and out of my car was a slow steady affair, but my colleagues never found out the truth either thankfully.
Never get competitive with conkers, a twenty year gap from playing them is not good for the aim, at all.
Playing rugby at school and went in for a tackle and the other bloke tried to palm me off, (not a euphemism btw!), resulting in him managing to stick his fingers in my eyes - I actually felt them pushing my eyeballs to the side as they went into the sockets. The result of our combined speed and bulk managed to make me do a complete backflip which wasn't bad as I was a 13 stone 6ft 15-year old. I couldn't see for days and looked like I'd gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson.
I also recently dislocated my shoulder and after it was popped back in it was still painful for two weeks after - at which point they realised it wasn't seated properly. Two weeks of commuting 4 hours by train and an hour by tube every day with that wasn't much fun. When it was finally put back in correctly it was such an instant relief it was almost orgasmic!
BUPA by the way, so not only the NHS gets it wrong.
I also recently dislocated my shoulder and after it was popped back in it was still painful for two weeks after - at which point they realised it wasn't seated properly. Two weeks of commuting 4 hours by train and an hour by tube every day with that wasn't much fun. When it was finally put back in correctly it was such an instant relief it was almost orgasmic!
BUPA by the way, so not only the NHS gets it wrong.
I used to race downhill mountain bikes when I was a lot younger and a lot fitter. Out on a training ride I was tooling about as usual and hit a jump just about perfect, did a bit of a tabletop in flight (for those not familiar with the parlance, it means laying the bike flat underneath you and parallel with the ground, like the top of a table). Anyway feeling pretty damn pleased with myself I decided to have a bit of a look about to see who was watching (I am a good technical rider, not so much a tricks rider) not thinking about the landing. When I did finally begin thinking about the landing I went to pull the bike back to vertical ready to spot my landing however in my excitement hadn't noticed that my proximity to the ground was closing rapidly, naturally I close my eyes hoping that the problem will go away, and then it came... I landed at 45 degrees hanging off the back of a bike hopelessly out of control. First the front wheel buckled underneath me, my shoulder then lands acting as a brake, then ribs and hip touch down. Cue fairly loud pop, pain and ground sky ground sky ground sky ground sky black.
I came round a few seconds later, a couple of riding buddies looking over me, naturally I ask how my bike is and all is well there. I sit out the rest of the riding session. Having done my weekly shop for parts I had a spare rim, my lock and a few other bits and bobs with me, but I have had a mars bar and a bit of a drink and I felt ok, although my right arm felt a bit weird and my abdomen was going a nice shade of yellowy purple. Anyway, I slung my bits over my shoulder and headed home, only a 5 or so mile ride. I am greeted by my mum who tells me I look a bit pale - I reply that I crashed my bike and that I was feeling a bit off, and promptly passed out on the couch - I wake up a while later, and my mother asks if I would like to go to A&E - I agree so off we go.
Initial prognosis was ok. A broken collar bone, a subluxation (partial dislocation) of the shoulder and some bruising along with the usual remember to buy a new lid speech (always ride with a helmet, and these days body armour) - I spent a fair bit of time in the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital's A&E department back then.
Anyway, my shoulder is rotated around to establish the extent of the dislocation - agony number one, especially with the broken clavicle. Then I am strapped up and packed on my way with some painkillers.
I get home and pop a couple of pain pills and settle down to having a six week break from riding (I am told strictly no riding) a couple of hours later I head off to bed for some sleep.
About 3am my folks burst into my room with me howling in pain literally doubled up on the floor so for the second time I am whisked to A&E - this time into the E entrance. A doctor decided I have ruptured my spleen so a knife jockey is duly called. While we are waiting I suddenly get the presence of mind to ask if there might be some way of confirming this non-invasively - noting that while I am not afraid of hurting myself for sport, being cut open for exploration, not so much - anyway, they decide that it won't hurt to do an X-Ray to look for a bleed or whatnot and find not a ruptured spleen but a well bruised intestine, and what they put down to a fairly nasty allergic reaction to the painkillers.
A few days later the pain has largely subsided, the bruising gone down etc so all good.
Roll on 4 weeks and I am bored. Beyond bored. I realise that there is a meet at 6 weeks + 2 days from accident. You can guess the rest. cue re-broken shoulder like an idiot and massively bruised ego as I had no strength in my arm and pretty much slid down a scree slope face first.
14 years later I am still riding.
I came round a few seconds later, a couple of riding buddies looking over me, naturally I ask how my bike is and all is well there. I sit out the rest of the riding session. Having done my weekly shop for parts I had a spare rim, my lock and a few other bits and bobs with me, but I have had a mars bar and a bit of a drink and I felt ok, although my right arm felt a bit weird and my abdomen was going a nice shade of yellowy purple. Anyway, I slung my bits over my shoulder and headed home, only a 5 or so mile ride. I am greeted by my mum who tells me I look a bit pale - I reply that I crashed my bike and that I was feeling a bit off, and promptly passed out on the couch - I wake up a while later, and my mother asks if I would like to go to A&E - I agree so off we go.
Initial prognosis was ok. A broken collar bone, a subluxation (partial dislocation) of the shoulder and some bruising along with the usual remember to buy a new lid speech (always ride with a helmet, and these days body armour) - I spent a fair bit of time in the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital's A&E department back then.
Anyway, my shoulder is rotated around to establish the extent of the dislocation - agony number one, especially with the broken clavicle. Then I am strapped up and packed on my way with some painkillers.
I get home and pop a couple of pain pills and settle down to having a six week break from riding (I am told strictly no riding) a couple of hours later I head off to bed for some sleep.
About 3am my folks burst into my room with me howling in pain literally doubled up on the floor so for the second time I am whisked to A&E - this time into the E entrance. A doctor decided I have ruptured my spleen so a knife jockey is duly called. While we are waiting I suddenly get the presence of mind to ask if there might be some way of confirming this non-invasively - noting that while I am not afraid of hurting myself for sport, being cut open for exploration, not so much - anyway, they decide that it won't hurt to do an X-Ray to look for a bleed or whatnot and find not a ruptured spleen but a well bruised intestine, and what they put down to a fairly nasty allergic reaction to the painkillers.
A few days later the pain has largely subsided, the bruising gone down etc so all good.
Roll on 4 weeks and I am bored. Beyond bored. I realise that there is a meet at 6 weeks + 2 days from accident. You can guess the rest. cue re-broken shoulder like an idiot and massively bruised ego as I had no strength in my arm and pretty much slid down a scree slope face first.
14 years later I am still riding.
I was playing football once & was chasing the ball, 1 of my mates rolled it back to another mate who was in goal, we both sprinted after it, he got to it just before me so I jumped up to block his clearance & he booted it full force with his strongest foot & it hit me right on the bellend from a couple of feet away. I'm not bothered who says otherwise - that was more painful than labour
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