Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Just found this thread some very amusing tales.
I’m just trying to get back on the horse, had a long (10 year) relationship that went south but without any real mental or falling out.
I took a couple of years to just enjoy being single but a few months ago I was asked out by the woman behind the counter in my bank. I’m not sure if it’s part of my account package or not but it was fun for a couple of weeks, though she got a bit full on so now I’m relying on online banking for the foreseeable future.
Signed up to pof, agreed to meet one woman for coffee and she was at least 4 dress sizes bigger than her pictures, so I am glad it was just coffee as I am awful at being blunt.
Now just wondering what the right next move is. At almost 40 it’s hard to know where to look as women from their mid 20s to their late 40s appeal, albeit in different ways.
I’m just trying to get back on the horse, had a long (10 year) relationship that went south but without any real mental or falling out.
I took a couple of years to just enjoy being single but a few months ago I was asked out by the woman behind the counter in my bank. I’m not sure if it’s part of my account package or not but it was fun for a couple of weeks, though she got a bit full on so now I’m relying on online banking for the foreseeable future.
Signed up to pof, agreed to meet one woman for coffee and she was at least 4 dress sizes bigger than her pictures, so I am glad it was just coffee as I am awful at being blunt.
Now just wondering what the right next move is. At almost 40 it’s hard to know where to look as women from their mid 20s to their late 40s appeal, albeit in different ways.
Salmonofdoubt said:
Just found this thread some very amusing tales.
I’m just trying to get back on the horse, had a long (10 year) relationship that went south but without any real mental or falling out.
I took a couple of years to just enjoy being single but a few months ago I was asked out by the woman behind the counter in my bank. I’m not sure if it’s part of my account package or not but it was fun for a couple of weeks, though she got a bit full on so now I’m relying on online banking for the foreseeable future.
Signed up to pof, agreed to meet one woman for coffee and she was at least 4 dress sizes bigger than her pictures, so I am glad it was just coffee as I am awful at being blunt.
Now just wondering what the right next move is. At almost 40 it’s hard to know where to look as women from their mid 20s to their late 40s appeal, albeit in different ways.
The woman behind the counter in your bank may open her drawers for cash. If so, you may lose interest when you withdraw.I’m just trying to get back on the horse, had a long (10 year) relationship that went south but without any real mental or falling out.
I took a couple of years to just enjoy being single but a few months ago I was asked out by the woman behind the counter in my bank. I’m not sure if it’s part of my account package or not but it was fun for a couple of weeks, though she got a bit full on so now I’m relying on online banking for the foreseeable future.
Signed up to pof, agreed to meet one woman for coffee and she was at least 4 dress sizes bigger than her pictures, so I am glad it was just coffee as I am awful at being blunt.
Now just wondering what the right next move is. At almost 40 it’s hard to know where to look as women from their mid 20s to their late 40s appeal, albeit in different ways.
I think this might make ring a bell with some Phers on here 
https://innerstrength.zone/inspiration/this-perfec...
https://innerstrength.zone/inspiration/this-perfec...
Salmonofdoubt said:
Signed up to pof, agreed to meet one woman for coffee and she was at least 4 dress sizes bigger than her pictures, so I am glad it was just coffee as I am awful at being blunt.
Now just wondering what the right next move is. At almost 40 it’s hard to know where to look as women from their mid 20s to their late 40s appeal, albeit in different ways.
Amen brother! It's no one off occurrence to find women can be significantly bigger in the flesh than their pictures suggest. You were lucky it was only 4 sizes! What these heifers hope to achieve by duping men into thinking they're not so fat is beyond me. It's not as if you can hide it when you meet. Just be incredibly selective from now on. If there's not several body shots then smell a rat. It's been mentioned before on here but these fatties often post several really good pics, with one slightly less good one. That's the tiny admission of honesty on their part, but rest assured they'll look a lot worse than even their worst photo. Now just wondering what the right next move is. At almost 40 it’s hard to know where to look as women from their mid 20s to their late 40s appeal, albeit in different ways.
I'm a similar age and again I've read on here it's a great place to be. Our target demographic ranges from mid 20's to early 40's. Depends what you're after but we're not over the hill yet! If you're not on Tinder then it's worth signing up. The quality is much better than on POF, but once you've burned through the swipes after the first couple of weeks things can dry up a bit. It's all a numbers game anyway so best of luck.
I’m not against a more robust lady. But was expecting a size 16-18 and got something in the mid 20s whose face looked like one of those ones that are put on by prosthetic artists for films.
Instagram filters have done wonders for women’s online appearance. I’m sure they’d have more luck if they posted real photos of themselves.
Instagram filters have done wonders for women’s online appearance. I’m sure they’d have more luck if they posted real photos of themselves.
Toyoda said:
Amen brother! It's no one off occurrence to find women can be significantly bigger in the flesh than their pictures suggest. You were lucky it was only 4 sizes! What these heifers hope to achieve by duping men into thinking they're not so fat is beyond me. It's not as if you can hide it when you meet. Just be incredibly selective from now on. If there's not several body shots then smell a rat. It's been mentioned before on here but these fatties often post several really good pics, with one slightly less good one. That's the tiny admission of honesty on their part, but rest assured they'll look a lot worse than even their worst photo.
I'm a similar age and again I've read on here it's a great place to be. Our target demographic ranges from mid 20's to early 40's. Depends what you're after but we're not over the hill yet! If you're not on Tinder then it's worth signing up. The quality is much better than on POF, but once you've burned through the swipes after the first couple of weeks things can dry up a bit. It's all a numbers game anyway so best of luck.
As a rule of thumb, if all their photos are downward pointing head-shots, then there's a good chance they are on the large side.I'm a similar age and again I've read on here it's a great place to be. Our target demographic ranges from mid 20's to early 40's. Depends what you're after but we're not over the hill yet! If you're not on Tinder then it's worth signing up. The quality is much better than on POF, but once you've burned through the swipes after the first couple of weeks things can dry up a bit. It's all a numbers game anyway so best of luck.
matrignano said:
Downward headshots a good one
Also look out for bingo wings
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bi...Also look out for bingo wings
I consider myself quite worldly but even I had to look up that one.
Edited by Lemming Train on Thursday 8th November 12:01
Also if every single one of their photos are filtered, avoid!
I hate the disappointment of a first pic showing two ladies and one is lovely, then you swipe to the next one and realise that was the friend
Well I was hoping to be very busy this coming weekend but so far nothing concrete has materialised... The cheerleader hasn't said anything since the other night and I'm not about to go chasing after her. The date for Sat night is now 50/50 as her (new to her!) car has sheared one of its wishbones and she's pretty skint and stressing. Did wonder if it was a fob off at first but she sent me a photo of it and has since been her normal flirty self so inclined to believe her. Just a bit s
t as she was top of my list.
There's another who wants to meet and she's a bit of a rock chick and my sort of thing but she's already mentioned having mental health issues recently and keeps sending messages along the lines of "sorry for the late reply, I've not been in a good place" so not sure on that one...
I've been chatting to a girl from Facebook but it is just chat with her. She lives 3 hours away but she's heavily into BDSM and is a pretty girl. If she lived nearer I'd already be round there...
I matched this lass the other day and thought wow she's nice and totally my type. Went to message her a couple of hours later and she'd unmatched me, the bag
I found an interesting article yesterday about who you get to see on Tinder and who sees you. Basically they have a system and it means that if you're a 4, you probably won't get shown to 7s etc. Quite interesting actually and possibly some tips for you MJB as it mentions swiping right on everybody lowering your score!:
https://www.quora.com/How-does-the-Tinder-algorith...
I hate the disappointment of a first pic showing two ladies and one is lovely, then you swipe to the next one and realise that was the friend
Well I was hoping to be very busy this coming weekend but so far nothing concrete has materialised... The cheerleader hasn't said anything since the other night and I'm not about to go chasing after her. The date for Sat night is now 50/50 as her (new to her!) car has sheared one of its wishbones and she's pretty skint and stressing. Did wonder if it was a fob off at first but she sent me a photo of it and has since been her normal flirty self so inclined to believe her. Just a bit s
t as she was top of my list. There's another who wants to meet and she's a bit of a rock chick and my sort of thing but she's already mentioned having mental health issues recently and keeps sending messages along the lines of "sorry for the late reply, I've not been in a good place" so not sure on that one...
I've been chatting to a girl from Facebook but it is just chat with her. She lives 3 hours away but she's heavily into BDSM and is a pretty girl. If she lived nearer I'd already be round there...
I matched this lass the other day and thought wow she's nice and totally my type. Went to message her a couple of hours later and she'd unmatched me, the bag
I found an interesting article yesterday about who you get to see on Tinder and who sees you. Basically they have a system and it means that if you're a 4, you probably won't get shown to 7s etc. Quite interesting actually and possibly some tips for you MJB as it mentions swiping right on everybody lowering your score!:
https://www.quora.com/How-does-the-Tinder-algorith...
TroubledSoul said:
Also if every single one of their photos are filtered, avoid!
I hate the disappointment of a first pic showing two ladies and one is lovely, then you swipe to the next one and realise that was the friend
Agree on the first point. As for the second, if there is more than one person in the photo expect the one using the app to be the less pretty one. Even if its male/female in the photo.I hate the disappointment of a first pic showing two ladies and one is lovely, then you swipe to the next one and realise that was the friend
On the subject of using select pics on her profile............
The massive amount of us poor sods who’ve been duped by the use of pics from a certain angle will understand.
Got chatting to a nice looking lass from can’t remember & got chatting on the phone. She sounded very bubby & a happy soul so I thought lets meet up. Her pics were pretty decent too. Short blonde with decent looking norks, pics taken from above looking down at this happy smiley pretty face. Warning Number One
We talk again on the phone before our meet up for a coffee & this time she’s still the happy bubbly type but is now on permanent send & giving me childish daft nicknames (already). She literally wouldn’t shut up & it was constant drivel about all sorts of stuff I have no idea about or interest in. She did apologise but said she was excited about meeting up & already very nervous. Ok fair one. Warning Number Two
Date day was at least a week away due to work & other stuff & I knew she had a young sprog – at least that says someone thought she was decent enough to slip her a length at some point. In the meantime plenty of chatting & shedloads of texting…..which got to the point that we were texting as soon as we woke & before we went to sleep. Meh, whatever, she’s fit give it a whirl. Warning Number Three,
Arranged to meet up at a coffee place in the Trafford Centre as localish for us both, plus I had some shopping to do so if this went t1ts up I’d kill two birds & all that.
Usual plan for me, turn up early, get eyes on the meet point see what happens. If it’s a truck driver called Dave who rocks up, I can do one & leg it.
I turn up 20 mins early, walking along the 1st floor level heading for the coffee place with intent that I’d wait close to some of those mahoosive plant pots with trees in them. I can’t remember the name of the coffee place but back then it was pretty much opposite M & S which spanned two floors – you could go in at 1st floor down the escalator to ground & out. M & S plays a role in what followed.
As I’m walking along heading for my hide-out I spy this lass leaning on the glass balustrade nearby looking down into the ground floor, she looks up & glances in my direction. Luckily we weren’t’ doing the red carnation ina lapel, copy of the Time under your armpit stuff so her glance while clocking me kept going back to looking down stairs. In the time it took for that glance to move away from me I clocked a number of things which sent the previously quiet Warnings into full on on LOUD mode.
First, while the camera can put on a ‘few’ pounds, it can’t put on a few stone & the use of ‘strategic’ angles for photos can shield a thousand lies (or pounds). Fecking feck me she was a Greggs fan. She must had had arse cheeks in separate time zones. She was one of those pear drop shaped lasses. Massive fat arse, thinnish arms & shoulders sort of thing. But she did have more chins than the Hong Kong phone book FFS. Oh dear god no I thinks Balls to this, not doing it.
Second thing, she’s pushing a feckin push chair with a sprog in it. WTF? A sprog to meet up date? Nah. Double balls to this.
So as her glance is heading back down to the ground floor something twigs in her & she looks back up at me as I’m taking all this (& there was a lot of ALL to take) in & gives me the biggest widest happy smile which made a couple of Hong Kongs finest wobble a bit. I keep walking, no smiles. Walk right past her, very close looking her right in the eye, her eyes follow me as I walk right past her, she’s still smiling, I’m still looking. I walk around the light well, she thinks I’m messing about I reckon…………..until I get opposite the entrance to M&S on the other side of the floor landing & quickly dart inside. The look on her face was a picture but she grabbed the handle of the pushchair & takes off wobbling after me, TBH I shat myself & legged it to the escalator where I screwed up getting stuck behind an old biddy, fat lass has zoomed in like she’s seen some free cake somewhere & is at the top of the escalator as I’m reaching the bottom. I step off & walk fast for the ground floor exit so I can scoot back along the centre to the car park. When I turn around to look I can see her now off the escalator, waving one slightly chubby arm & she screams WAIT at the top of her lungs. Once she’s onto the ground floor of the centre she takes off pushing the kid in the pushchair & starts running as fast as her porcine legs will move.
I just took of like a shoplifter & left her. Got to the car, checked phone, missed calls galore, answer phone message, texts.
I was tempted to text back, ‘ you run fast for a fat lass’.
The massive amount of us poor sods who’ve been duped by the use of pics from a certain angle will understand.
Got chatting to a nice looking lass from can’t remember & got chatting on the phone. She sounded very bubby & a happy soul so I thought lets meet up. Her pics were pretty decent too. Short blonde with decent looking norks, pics taken from above looking down at this happy smiley pretty face. Warning Number One
We talk again on the phone before our meet up for a coffee & this time she’s still the happy bubbly type but is now on permanent send & giving me childish daft nicknames (already). She literally wouldn’t shut up & it was constant drivel about all sorts of stuff I have no idea about or interest in. She did apologise but said she was excited about meeting up & already very nervous. Ok fair one. Warning Number Two
Date day was at least a week away due to work & other stuff & I knew she had a young sprog – at least that says someone thought she was decent enough to slip her a length at some point. In the meantime plenty of chatting & shedloads of texting…..which got to the point that we were texting as soon as we woke & before we went to sleep. Meh, whatever, she’s fit give it a whirl. Warning Number Three,
Arranged to meet up at a coffee place in the Trafford Centre as localish for us both, plus I had some shopping to do so if this went t1ts up I’d kill two birds & all that.
Usual plan for me, turn up early, get eyes on the meet point see what happens. If it’s a truck driver called Dave who rocks up, I can do one & leg it.
I turn up 20 mins early, walking along the 1st floor level heading for the coffee place with intent that I’d wait close to some of those mahoosive plant pots with trees in them. I can’t remember the name of the coffee place but back then it was pretty much opposite M & S which spanned two floors – you could go in at 1st floor down the escalator to ground & out. M & S plays a role in what followed.
As I’m walking along heading for my hide-out I spy this lass leaning on the glass balustrade nearby looking down into the ground floor, she looks up & glances in my direction. Luckily we weren’t’ doing the red carnation ina lapel, copy of the Time under your armpit stuff so her glance while clocking me kept going back to looking down stairs. In the time it took for that glance to move away from me I clocked a number of things which sent the previously quiet Warnings into full on on LOUD mode.
First, while the camera can put on a ‘few’ pounds, it can’t put on a few stone & the use of ‘strategic’ angles for photos can shield a thousand lies (or pounds). Fecking feck me she was a Greggs fan. She must had had arse cheeks in separate time zones. She was one of those pear drop shaped lasses. Massive fat arse, thinnish arms & shoulders sort of thing. But she did have more chins than the Hong Kong phone book FFS. Oh dear god no I thinks Balls to this, not doing it.
Second thing, she’s pushing a feckin push chair with a sprog in it. WTF? A sprog to meet up date? Nah. Double balls to this.
So as her glance is heading back down to the ground floor something twigs in her & she looks back up at me as I’m taking all this (& there was a lot of ALL to take) in & gives me the biggest widest happy smile which made a couple of Hong Kongs finest wobble a bit. I keep walking, no smiles. Walk right past her, very close looking her right in the eye, her eyes follow me as I walk right past her, she’s still smiling, I’m still looking. I walk around the light well, she thinks I’m messing about I reckon…………..until I get opposite the entrance to M&S on the other side of the floor landing & quickly dart inside. The look on her face was a picture but she grabbed the handle of the pushchair & takes off wobbling after me, TBH I shat myself & legged it to the escalator where I screwed up getting stuck behind an old biddy, fat lass has zoomed in like she’s seen some free cake somewhere & is at the top of the escalator as I’m reaching the bottom. I step off & walk fast for the ground floor exit so I can scoot back along the centre to the car park. When I turn around to look I can see her now off the escalator, waving one slightly chubby arm & she screams WAIT at the top of her lungs. Once she’s onto the ground floor of the centre she takes off pushing the kid in the pushchair & starts running as fast as her porcine legs will move.
I just took of like a shoplifter & left her. Got to the car, checked phone, missed calls galore, answer phone message, texts.
I was tempted to text back, ‘ you run fast for a fat lass’.
Echo66 said:
So as her glance is heading back down to the ground floor something twigs in her & she looks back up at me as I’m taking all this (& there was a lot of ALL to take) in & gives me the biggest widest happy smile which made a couple of Hong Kongs finest wobble a bit. I keep walking, no smiles. Walk right past her, very close looking her right in the eye, her eyes follow me as I walk right past her, she’s still smiling, I’m still looking. I walk around the light well, she thinks I’m messing about I reckon…………..until I get opposite the entrance to M&S on the other side of the floor landing & quickly dart inside. The look on her face was a picture but she grabbed the handle of the pushchair & takes off wobbling after me, TBH I shat myself & legged it to the escalator where I screwed up getting stuck behind an old biddy, fat lass has zoomed in like she’s seen some free cake somewhere & is at the top of the escalator as I’m reaching the bottom. I step off & walk fast for the ground floor exit so I can scoot back along the centre to the car park. When I turn around to look I can see her now off the escalator, waving one slightly chubby arm & she screams WAIT at the top of her lungs. Once she’s onto the ground floor of the centre she takes off pushing the kid in the pushchair & starts running as fast as her porcine legs will move.
I just took of like a shoplifter & left her. Got to the car, checked phone, missed calls galore, answer phone message, texts.
I was tempted to text back, ‘ you run fast for a fat lass’.
I just took of like a shoplifter & left her. Got to the car, checked phone, missed calls galore, answer phone message, texts.
I was tempted to text back, ‘ you run fast for a fat lass’.
Love the disregard for political correctness there too.
I once had a date leg it from me, she was a nurse I met on a training course. Got chatting and exchanged numbers, a few weeks later picked her up and went to a boozer for lunch. We walked in and I went to the bar, turned round drinks in hand and she’d vanished.
Bearing in mind we are about ten miles from where I picked her up I’m very confused. Leave the drinks and walk outside, when I get a text message. It turns out her husbands best mate was sat in the pub, note not ex or estranged husband. She thought she could have a bit of extra while he was working away, turns out I wasn’t the first.
I once had a date leg it from me, she was a nurse I met on a training course. Got chatting and exchanged numbers, a few weeks later picked her up and went to a boozer for lunch. We walked in and I went to the bar, turned round drinks in hand and she’d vanished.
Bearing in mind we are about ten miles from where I picked her up I’m very confused. Leave the drinks and walk outside, when I get a text message. It turns out her husbands best mate was sat in the pub, note not ex or estranged husband. She thought she could have a bit of extra while he was working away, turns out I wasn’t the first.
I think I've mentioned on the thread before, but I've rarely suffered from fake photos - almost everybody I met looked better in real life. Having said that....
I was browsing POF last night. I've not been on there for 18 months, having met my previous g/f on there (I mentioned it at the time). She was my perfect type - black hair, blue eyes, tall, pretty and curves where there should be curves. Unfortunately, it's been a fairly rocky relationship and it looks like it may now have come to an end. I am not ready to start dating again, and certainly won't before the end of the year - but figured some window shopping might make me feel better.
It really didn't. I didn't spend all that long browsing, but was very disappointed with the choices. All looked like a major step down and I think it's going to be a shock to the system! Did notice a few familiar faces on there, but less than I expected so I guess a lot of people have either hooked up or given up in the last 18 months.
Maybe the ex and I can make up.......
I was browsing POF last night. I've not been on there for 18 months, having met my previous g/f on there (I mentioned it at the time). She was my perfect type - black hair, blue eyes, tall, pretty and curves where there should be curves. Unfortunately, it's been a fairly rocky relationship and it looks like it may now have come to an end. I am not ready to start dating again, and certainly won't before the end of the year - but figured some window shopping might make me feel better.
It really didn't. I didn't spend all that long browsing, but was very disappointed with the choices. All looked like a major step down and I think it's going to be a shock to the system! Did notice a few familiar faces on there, but less than I expected so I guess a lot of people have either hooked up or given up in the last 18 months.
Maybe the ex and I can make up.......
Echo66 said:
On the subject of using select pics on her profile............
The massive amount of us poor sods who’ve been duped by the use of pics from a certain angle will understand.
Got chatting to a nice looking lass from can’t remember & got chatting on the phone. She sounded very bubby & a happy soul so I thought lets meet up. Her pics were pretty decent too. Short blonde with decent looking norks, pics taken from above looking down at this happy smiley pretty face. Warning Number One
We talk again on the phone before our meet up for a coffee & this time she’s still the happy bubbly type but is now on permanent send & giving me childish daft nicknames (already). She literally wouldn’t shut up & it was constant drivel about all sorts of stuff I have no idea about or interest in. She did apologise but said she was excited about meeting up & already very nervous. Ok fair one. Warning Number Two
Date day was at least a week away due to work & other stuff & I knew she had a young sprog – at least that says someone thought she was decent enough to slip her a length at some point. In the meantime plenty of chatting & shedloads of texting…..which got to the point that we were texting as soon as we woke & before we went to sleep. Meh, whatever, she’s fit give it a whirl. Warning Number Three,
Arranged to meet up at a coffee place in the Trafford Centre as localish for us both, plus I had some shopping to do so if this went t1ts up I’d kill two birds & all that.
Usual plan for me, turn up early, get eyes on the meet point see what happens. If it’s a truck driver called Dave who rocks up, I can do one & leg it.
I turn up 20 mins early, walking along the 1st floor level heading for the coffee place with intent that I’d wait close to some of those mahoosive plant pots with trees in them. I can’t remember the name of the coffee place but back then it was pretty much opposite M & S which spanned two floors – you could go in at 1st floor down the escalator to ground & out. M & S plays a role in what followed.
As I’m walking along heading for my hide-out I spy this lass leaning on the glass balustrade nearby looking down into the ground floor, she looks up & glances in my direction. Luckily we weren’t’ doing the red carnation ina lapel, copy of the Time under your armpit stuff so her glance while clocking me kept going back to looking down stairs. In the time it took for that glance to move away from me I clocked a number of things which sent the previously quiet Warnings into full on on LOUD mode.
First, while the camera can put on a ‘few’ pounds, it can’t put on a few stone & the use of ‘strategic’ angles for photos can shield a thousand lies (or pounds). Fecking feck me she was a Greggs fan. She must had had arse cheeks in separate time zones. She was one of those pear drop shaped lasses. Massive fat arse, thinnish arms & shoulders sort of thing. But she did have more chins than the Hong Kong phone book FFS. Oh dear god no I thinks Balls to this, not doing it.
Second thing, she’s pushing a feckin push chair with a sprog in it. WTF? A sprog to meet up date? Nah. Double balls to this.
So as her glance is heading back down to the ground floor something twigs in her & she looks back up at me as I’m taking all this (& there was a lot of ALL to take) in & gives me the biggest widest happy smile which made a couple of Hong Kongs finest wobble a bit. I keep walking, no smiles. Walk right past her, very close looking her right in the eye, her eyes follow me as I walk right past her, she’s still smiling, I’m still looking. I walk around the light well, she thinks I’m messing about I reckon…………..until I get opposite the entrance to M&S on the other side of the floor landing & quickly dart inside. The look on her face was a picture but she grabbed the handle of the pushchair & takes off wobbling after me, TBH I shat myself & legged it to the escalator where I screwed up getting stuck behind an old biddy, fat lass has zoomed in like she’s seen some free cake somewhere & is at the top of the escalator as I’m reaching the bottom. I step off & walk fast for the ground floor exit so I can scoot back along the centre to the car park. When I turn around to look I can see her now off the escalator, waving one slightly chubby arm & she screams WAIT at the top of her lungs. Once she’s onto the ground floor of the centre she takes off pushing the kid in the pushchair & starts running as fast as her porcine legs will move.
I just took of like a shoplifter & left her. Got to the car, checked phone, missed calls galore, answer phone message, texts.
I was tempted to text back, ‘ you run fast for a fat lass’.
Brilliant, and you should have sent her the text The massive amount of us poor sods who’ve been duped by the use of pics from a certain angle will understand.
Got chatting to a nice looking lass from can’t remember & got chatting on the phone. She sounded very bubby & a happy soul so I thought lets meet up. Her pics were pretty decent too. Short blonde with decent looking norks, pics taken from above looking down at this happy smiley pretty face. Warning Number One
We talk again on the phone before our meet up for a coffee & this time she’s still the happy bubbly type but is now on permanent send & giving me childish daft nicknames (already). She literally wouldn’t shut up & it was constant drivel about all sorts of stuff I have no idea about or interest in. She did apologise but said she was excited about meeting up & already very nervous. Ok fair one. Warning Number Two
Date day was at least a week away due to work & other stuff & I knew she had a young sprog – at least that says someone thought she was decent enough to slip her a length at some point. In the meantime plenty of chatting & shedloads of texting…..which got to the point that we were texting as soon as we woke & before we went to sleep. Meh, whatever, she’s fit give it a whirl. Warning Number Three,
Arranged to meet up at a coffee place in the Trafford Centre as localish for us both, plus I had some shopping to do so if this went t1ts up I’d kill two birds & all that.
Usual plan for me, turn up early, get eyes on the meet point see what happens. If it’s a truck driver called Dave who rocks up, I can do one & leg it.
I turn up 20 mins early, walking along the 1st floor level heading for the coffee place with intent that I’d wait close to some of those mahoosive plant pots with trees in them. I can’t remember the name of the coffee place but back then it was pretty much opposite M & S which spanned two floors – you could go in at 1st floor down the escalator to ground & out. M & S plays a role in what followed.
As I’m walking along heading for my hide-out I spy this lass leaning on the glass balustrade nearby looking down into the ground floor, she looks up & glances in my direction. Luckily we weren’t’ doing the red carnation ina lapel, copy of the Time under your armpit stuff so her glance while clocking me kept going back to looking down stairs. In the time it took for that glance to move away from me I clocked a number of things which sent the previously quiet Warnings into full on on LOUD mode.
First, while the camera can put on a ‘few’ pounds, it can’t put on a few stone & the use of ‘strategic’ angles for photos can shield a thousand lies (or pounds). Fecking feck me she was a Greggs fan. She must had had arse cheeks in separate time zones. She was one of those pear drop shaped lasses. Massive fat arse, thinnish arms & shoulders sort of thing. But she did have more chins than the Hong Kong phone book FFS. Oh dear god no I thinks Balls to this, not doing it.
Second thing, she’s pushing a feckin push chair with a sprog in it. WTF? A sprog to meet up date? Nah. Double balls to this.
So as her glance is heading back down to the ground floor something twigs in her & she looks back up at me as I’m taking all this (& there was a lot of ALL to take) in & gives me the biggest widest happy smile which made a couple of Hong Kongs finest wobble a bit. I keep walking, no smiles. Walk right past her, very close looking her right in the eye, her eyes follow me as I walk right past her, she’s still smiling, I’m still looking. I walk around the light well, she thinks I’m messing about I reckon…………..until I get opposite the entrance to M&S on the other side of the floor landing & quickly dart inside. The look on her face was a picture but she grabbed the handle of the pushchair & takes off wobbling after me, TBH I shat myself & legged it to the escalator where I screwed up getting stuck behind an old biddy, fat lass has zoomed in like she’s seen some free cake somewhere & is at the top of the escalator as I’m reaching the bottom. I step off & walk fast for the ground floor exit so I can scoot back along the centre to the car park. When I turn around to look I can see her now off the escalator, waving one slightly chubby arm & she screams WAIT at the top of her lungs. Once she’s onto the ground floor of the centre she takes off pushing the kid in the pushchair & starts running as fast as her porcine legs will move.
I just took of like a shoplifter & left her. Got to the car, checked phone, missed calls galore, answer phone message, texts.
I was tempted to text back, ‘ you run fast for a fat lass’.
Echo66 said:
On the subject of using select pics on her profile............
The massive amount of us poor sods who’ve been duped by the use of pics from a certain angle will understand.
Got chatting to a nice looking lass from can’t remember & got chatting on the phone. She sounded very bubby & a happy soul so I thought lets meet up. Her pics were pretty decent too. Short blonde with decent looking norks, pics taken from above looking down at this happy smiley pretty face. Warning Number One
We talk again on the phone before our meet up for a coffee & this time she’s still the happy bubbly type but is now on permanent send & giving me childish daft nicknames (already). She literally wouldn’t shut up & it was constant drivel about all sorts of stuff I have no idea about or interest in. She did apologise but said she was excited about meeting up & already very nervous. Ok fair one. Warning Number Two
Date day was at least a week away due to work & other stuff & I knew she had a young sprog – at least that says someone thought she was decent enough to slip her a length at some point. In the meantime plenty of chatting & shedloads of texting…..which got to the point that we were texting as soon as we woke & before we went to sleep. Meh, whatever, she’s fit give it a whirl. Warning Number Three,
Arranged to meet up at a coffee place in the Trafford Centre as localish for us both, plus I had some shopping to do so if this went t1ts up I’d kill two birds & all that.
Usual plan for me, turn up early, get eyes on the meet point see what happens. If it’s a truck driver called Dave who rocks up, I can do one & leg it.
I turn up 20 mins early, walking along the 1st floor level heading for the coffee place with intent that I’d wait close to some of those mahoosive plant pots with trees in them. I can’t remember the name of the coffee place but back then it was pretty much opposite M & S which spanned two floors – you could go in at 1st floor down the escalator to ground & out. M & S plays a role in what followed.
As I’m walking along heading for my hide-out I spy this lass leaning on the glass balustrade nearby looking down into the ground floor, she looks up & glances in my direction. Luckily we weren’t’ doing the red carnation ina lapel, copy of the Time under your armpit stuff so her glance while clocking me kept going back to looking down stairs. In the time it took for that glance to move away from me I clocked a number of things which sent the previously quiet Warnings into full on on LOUD mode.
First, while the camera can put on a ‘few’ pounds, it can’t put on a few stone & the use of ‘strategic’ angles for photos can shield a thousand lies (or pounds). Fecking feck me she was a Greggs fan. She must had had arse cheeks in separate time zones. She was one of those pear drop shaped lasses. Massive fat arse, thinnish arms & shoulders sort of thing. But she did have more chins than the Hong Kong phone book FFS. Oh dear god no I thinks Balls to this, not doing it.
Second thing, she’s pushing a feckin push chair with a sprog in it. WTF? A sprog to meet up date? Nah. Double balls to this.
So as her glance is heading back down to the ground floor something twigs in her & she looks back up at me as I’m taking all this (& there was a lot of ALL to take) in & gives me the biggest widest happy smile which made a couple of Hong Kongs finest wobble a bit. I keep walking, no smiles. Walk right past her, very close looking her right in the eye, her eyes follow me as I walk right past her, she’s still smiling, I’m still looking. I walk around the light well, she thinks I’m messing about I reckon…………..until I get opposite the entrance to M&S on the other side of the floor landing & quickly dart inside. The look on her face was a picture but she grabbed the handle of the pushchair & takes off wobbling after me, TBH I shat myself & legged it to the escalator where I screwed up getting stuck behind an old biddy, fat lass has zoomed in like she’s seen some free cake somewhere & is at the top of the escalator as I’m reaching the bottom. I step off & walk fast for the ground floor exit so I can scoot back along the centre to the car park. When I turn around to look I can see her now off the escalator, waving one slightly chubby arm & she screams WAIT at the top of her lungs. Once she’s onto the ground floor of the centre she takes off pushing the kid in the pushchair & starts running as fast as her porcine legs will move.
I just took of like a shoplifter & left her. Got to the car, checked phone, missed calls galore, answer phone message, texts.
I was tempted to text back, ‘ you run fast for a fat lass’.
So so good.The massive amount of us poor sods who’ve been duped by the use of pics from a certain angle will understand.
Got chatting to a nice looking lass from can’t remember & got chatting on the phone. She sounded very bubby & a happy soul so I thought lets meet up. Her pics were pretty decent too. Short blonde with decent looking norks, pics taken from above looking down at this happy smiley pretty face. Warning Number One
We talk again on the phone before our meet up for a coffee & this time she’s still the happy bubbly type but is now on permanent send & giving me childish daft nicknames (already). She literally wouldn’t shut up & it was constant drivel about all sorts of stuff I have no idea about or interest in. She did apologise but said she was excited about meeting up & already very nervous. Ok fair one. Warning Number Two
Date day was at least a week away due to work & other stuff & I knew she had a young sprog – at least that says someone thought she was decent enough to slip her a length at some point. In the meantime plenty of chatting & shedloads of texting…..which got to the point that we were texting as soon as we woke & before we went to sleep. Meh, whatever, she’s fit give it a whirl. Warning Number Three,
Arranged to meet up at a coffee place in the Trafford Centre as localish for us both, plus I had some shopping to do so if this went t1ts up I’d kill two birds & all that.
Usual plan for me, turn up early, get eyes on the meet point see what happens. If it’s a truck driver called Dave who rocks up, I can do one & leg it.
I turn up 20 mins early, walking along the 1st floor level heading for the coffee place with intent that I’d wait close to some of those mahoosive plant pots with trees in them. I can’t remember the name of the coffee place but back then it was pretty much opposite M & S which spanned two floors – you could go in at 1st floor down the escalator to ground & out. M & S plays a role in what followed.
As I’m walking along heading for my hide-out I spy this lass leaning on the glass balustrade nearby looking down into the ground floor, she looks up & glances in my direction. Luckily we weren’t’ doing the red carnation ina lapel, copy of the Time under your armpit stuff so her glance while clocking me kept going back to looking down stairs. In the time it took for that glance to move away from me I clocked a number of things which sent the previously quiet Warnings into full on on LOUD mode.
First, while the camera can put on a ‘few’ pounds, it can’t put on a few stone & the use of ‘strategic’ angles for photos can shield a thousand lies (or pounds). Fecking feck me she was a Greggs fan. She must had had arse cheeks in separate time zones. She was one of those pear drop shaped lasses. Massive fat arse, thinnish arms & shoulders sort of thing. But she did have more chins than the Hong Kong phone book FFS. Oh dear god no I thinks Balls to this, not doing it.
Second thing, she’s pushing a feckin push chair with a sprog in it. WTF? A sprog to meet up date? Nah. Double balls to this.
So as her glance is heading back down to the ground floor something twigs in her & she looks back up at me as I’m taking all this (& there was a lot of ALL to take) in & gives me the biggest widest happy smile which made a couple of Hong Kongs finest wobble a bit. I keep walking, no smiles. Walk right past her, very close looking her right in the eye, her eyes follow me as I walk right past her, she’s still smiling, I’m still looking. I walk around the light well, she thinks I’m messing about I reckon…………..until I get opposite the entrance to M&S on the other side of the floor landing & quickly dart inside. The look on her face was a picture but she grabbed the handle of the pushchair & takes off wobbling after me, TBH I shat myself & legged it to the escalator where I screwed up getting stuck behind an old biddy, fat lass has zoomed in like she’s seen some free cake somewhere & is at the top of the escalator as I’m reaching the bottom. I step off & walk fast for the ground floor exit so I can scoot back along the centre to the car park. When I turn around to look I can see her now off the escalator, waving one slightly chubby arm & she screams WAIT at the top of her lungs. Once she’s onto the ground floor of the centre she takes off pushing the kid in the pushchair & starts running as fast as her porcine legs will move.
I just took of like a shoplifter & left her. Got to the car, checked phone, missed calls galore, answer phone message, texts.
I was tempted to text back, ‘ you run fast for a fat lass’.
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