Goodbye 2019... You've been...?
Discussion
I've had better years than 2019 - my mother died in June, Dad's in a nursing home with dementia and being 95, and my sister and I have had to deal with everything, including clearing and selling the parental home.
I'm (semi) retired, so have the time to get things dealt with, and my sister and I had joint Powers of Attorney which enabled us to deal with most health and finance related aspects, which made matters easier. But no matter how well organised you think you are, nothing can prepare you for the impact of dealing with a death in your immediate family.
That aside, my own offspring (son is 23, daughter 19) have had good years, and my son especially seems to have found a job that he's happy with, has a nice girlfriend, and is looking for a new car, my daughter is doing well in her job, so all good there. I have, however, been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, which means a few more considerations when it comes to diet, and more exercise, which I'm happy to do.
Compared with the tribulations of some of the other members, these are minor gripes, and I wish any of you fighting serious health issues the very best.
Here's to 2020!
I'm (semi) retired, so have the time to get things dealt with, and my sister and I had joint Powers of Attorney which enabled us to deal with most health and finance related aspects, which made matters easier. But no matter how well organised you think you are, nothing can prepare you for the impact of dealing with a death in your immediate family.
That aside, my own offspring (son is 23, daughter 19) have had good years, and my son especially seems to have found a job that he's happy with, has a nice girlfriend, and is looking for a new car, my daughter is doing well in her job, so all good there. I have, however, been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, which means a few more considerations when it comes to diet, and more exercise, which I'm happy to do.
Compared with the tribulations of some of the other members, these are minor gripes, and I wish any of you fighting serious health issues the very best.
Here's to 2020!
Russ T Bolt said:
The last year and a few months have been the most challenging I can remember.
Oct '18 due operation to repair Meniscus Tear. Op cancelled due to abnormal blood test results.
Few weeks of investigation found Bowel Cancer, operation mid November '18
Lump successfully removed but indicators were it may have spread, so 8 cycles of Chemo started 27th December '18
Chemo cut short after 5 cycles due to side effects, amongst these seriously deteriorating eyesight.
Post Chemo MRI showed worrying indicators on Liver (Oncologist thought the Cancer had spread despite Chemo), further investigation showed all innocent.
Once chemo out of system started process of getting knee fixed, but by now needed a Total Knee Replacement, that was done 7 weeks ago.
Eyesight had become so bad by August this year I couldn't drive, use a computer, read, watch TV etc.
Went through a number of Eye Specialists before I found one who could actually explain what was wrong (beyond the very obvious cataracts, a side effect of the Chemo I took)
Both eyes now been operated on and eyesight brilliant.
Of all of the above, the loss of sight was by far the worst. Really debilitating and gave me a whole new perspective.
All looking up now though, even had the opportunity to apply for an enhanced redundancy package, so if it goes ahead I will be giving up work and going travelling.
Onwards and Upwards....Good luck. Oct '18 due operation to repair Meniscus Tear. Op cancelled due to abnormal blood test results.
Few weeks of investigation found Bowel Cancer, operation mid November '18
Lump successfully removed but indicators were it may have spread, so 8 cycles of Chemo started 27th December '18
Chemo cut short after 5 cycles due to side effects, amongst these seriously deteriorating eyesight.
Post Chemo MRI showed worrying indicators on Liver (Oncologist thought the Cancer had spread despite Chemo), further investigation showed all innocent.
Once chemo out of system started process of getting knee fixed, but by now needed a Total Knee Replacement, that was done 7 weeks ago.
Eyesight had become so bad by August this year I couldn't drive, use a computer, read, watch TV etc.
Went through a number of Eye Specialists before I found one who could actually explain what was wrong (beyond the very obvious cataracts, a side effect of the Chemo I took)
Both eyes now been operated on and eyesight brilliant.
Of all of the above, the loss of sight was by far the worst. Really debilitating and gave me a whole new perspective.
All looking up now though, even had the opportunity to apply for an enhanced redundancy package, so if it goes ahead I will be giving up work and going travelling.
Testing.
Wife lost her grandma in Feb. As she was next of kin as well as the grief this brought a world of pain sorting her affairs out.
Promotion at work in March - all going well until they decided to change our complete system of work in November bringing with it too many staff for me to manage properly and total chaos work wise.
Moved house in June - not a planned move but our dream house came back on the market unexpectedly and took a massive financial risk to make sure we go it this time. Risk worked out perfect in end but was bloody stressful.
4th November was d day when the massive work cluster f##k began, it was also the day our first child Sophie decided to arrive 7 weeks early. She’s perfect but the stress around her early arrival, hospital etc took its toll.
Around the same time my mam begins her immunotherapy treatment for cancer. Never going to cure it but hopefully will stop it’s progression or shrink it.
Saturday dad not feeling well, blurred vision. Convinced him to go see the doc. Diagnosis was a stroke. Apparently fairly minor as strokes go. But no more driving for him in the short term and more worry.
I’m now starting to worry I might start 2020 with both my parents alive and end it with both of them gone.
It’s s
t sometimes but I have responsibilities now so need to get on with it.
Wife lost her grandma in Feb. As she was next of kin as well as the grief this brought a world of pain sorting her affairs out.
Promotion at work in March - all going well until they decided to change our complete system of work in November bringing with it too many staff for me to manage properly and total chaos work wise.
Moved house in June - not a planned move but our dream house came back on the market unexpectedly and took a massive financial risk to make sure we go it this time. Risk worked out perfect in end but was bloody stressful.
4th November was d day when the massive work cluster f##k began, it was also the day our first child Sophie decided to arrive 7 weeks early. She’s perfect but the stress around her early arrival, hospital etc took its toll.
Around the same time my mam begins her immunotherapy treatment for cancer. Never going to cure it but hopefully will stop it’s progression or shrink it.
Saturday dad not feeling well, blurred vision. Convinced him to go see the doc. Diagnosis was a stroke. Apparently fairly minor as strokes go. But no more driving for him in the short term and more worry.
I’m now starting to worry I might start 2020 with both my parents alive and end it with both of them gone.
It’s s
t sometimes but I have responsibilities now so need to get on with it. It's been a good year for me. The ups:
- After 2 years in a job going nowhere i changed roles in April and have definitely landed on my feet, not only working for a good company but also finally discovering some motivation;
- After being single for some while, I got together with the most beautiful, brilliant women who was clearly several leagues above me;
- Had a fantastic short break using airbnb. I'd had bad experiences previously, but was told to persist and found a stunning property in Northumberland for a bargain price
The not so goods:
- My Focus finally decided to throw its toys out of the pram, seeing me £1k worse off;
- My poor mum dislocated her shoulder and was also diagnosed with depression. I'm happy to say she's recovering from both; and
- The aforementioned beautiful, brilliant women split up with me. Clearly came to her senses and realised what i had known from the outset
Sad to read some of the stories in this thread though. Condolences to those of you who have lost someone.
- After 2 years in a job going nowhere i changed roles in April and have definitely landed on my feet, not only working for a good company but also finally discovering some motivation;
- After being single for some while, I got together with the most beautiful, brilliant women who was clearly several leagues above me;
- Had a fantastic short break using airbnb. I'd had bad experiences previously, but was told to persist and found a stunning property in Northumberland for a bargain price
The not so goods:
- My Focus finally decided to throw its toys out of the pram, seeing me £1k worse off;
- My poor mum dislocated her shoulder and was also diagnosed with depression. I'm happy to say she's recovering from both; and
- The aforementioned beautiful, brilliant women split up with me. Clearly came to her senses and realised what i had known from the outset
Sad to read some of the stories in this thread though. Condolences to those of you who have lost someone.
Will be glad to see back of 2019 might be the worse year of my life so far, lost my grandad and Nan early in year then lost my dad in June. Top that off currently in process of redundancy from work and in Dec finally split from misses of 12 yrs not going to miss her tbh lol but going to miss my 4 yr old son big time, we arr spending xmas together and she moves out in Feb. Also diagnosed with dental neuralgia after spend £k at dentists being in pain for a year and having unnecessary tooth extractions.
Heres to a better 2020, at least have roof over my head, money in the bank and best of all I never married the ex hahah.
Heres to a better 2020, at least have roof over my head, money in the bank and best of all I never married the ex hahah.
Edited by PostHeads123 on Monday 23 December 13:35
2019 has been pretty good to me, though filled with uncertainty about house move, son's school and wife's job.
Work - steady as she goes. frustrating at times not to grow my business but I hope the groundwork this year after a crap 2018 will see decent growth next year.
Home - sold our semi and bought detached property further out of town but almost double the size but a good move as fair bit cheaper on £/sq/ft.
Family - All good until recently when my mum has had a series of illnesses, conditions & problems. She has become quite frail but hopefully she will continue to recover some strength now various symptoms seem to be sorted.
Wife's job going not so well as 2018 but she has a couple of irons in the fire.
Elder son didn't manage transition to secondary very well but a different less demanding school has seen him settle. Younger son doing fine.
Holidays - V Good. Enjoyable skiing trip in February with friends in Austria. Good family holiday in Greece in August. Went to Tibet on a motorcycle tour. Trip of a lifetime really. Got me thinking about more bike tours.
Cars/bikes - V Good. Sold my excellent but slightly dull 340i for a 987 Boxster S and took a trip round north Wales in it. What a great car. Sold my excellent but slightly dull R1200GS for a Triumph Scrambler 1200. What a lovely piece of kit. Not even run in yet though as weather has been crap and house move.
Health - decent. Nothing to report really except I still need to lose weight. Recently started Couch to 5k and aiming to get into park-runs in February when I have built up to that distance.
Hope 2020 is good for everyone, especially those who've had a very tough 2019 in some cases.
Work - steady as she goes. frustrating at times not to grow my business but I hope the groundwork this year after a crap 2018 will see decent growth next year.
Home - sold our semi and bought detached property further out of town but almost double the size but a good move as fair bit cheaper on £/sq/ft.
Family - All good until recently when my mum has had a series of illnesses, conditions & problems. She has become quite frail but hopefully she will continue to recover some strength now various symptoms seem to be sorted.
Wife's job going not so well as 2018 but she has a couple of irons in the fire.
Elder son didn't manage transition to secondary very well but a different less demanding school has seen him settle. Younger son doing fine.
Holidays - V Good. Enjoyable skiing trip in February with friends in Austria. Good family holiday in Greece in August. Went to Tibet on a motorcycle tour. Trip of a lifetime really. Got me thinking about more bike tours.
Cars/bikes - V Good. Sold my excellent but slightly dull 340i for a 987 Boxster S and took a trip round north Wales in it. What a great car. Sold my excellent but slightly dull R1200GS for a Triumph Scrambler 1200. What a lovely piece of kit. Not even run in yet though as weather has been crap and house move.
Health - decent. Nothing to report really except I still need to lose weight. Recently started Couch to 5k and aiming to get into park-runs in February when I have built up to that distance.
Hope 2020 is good for everyone, especially those who've had a very tough 2019 in some cases.
Swings and roundabouts like most years.
Started off with my mother going into a care home after a bad fall, breaking her back and being kept in with dementia symptoms until we found her somewhere. Then my father got put on end of life care so spent 6 weeks looking after him with my brother until the end. That was hard. I took an extended leave from work after his death thanks to my boss and the job I was doing. I've never had to take time off for stress and after initially feeling guilty and weak, I realised it was the best thing I ever did. Taking a step back to concentrate on what's important.
My brother also had a cancer scare. He had a mole removed and all is well thankfully.
Fast forward to March and I changed roles and boss. I'm still on the same good money and bonus but I don't have to manage people or projects anymore so win win. More importantly I'm not stressed, I work to rule so only do a strict 37 hours per week unless travelling and I have a better work life balance to spend time with my family. I also got to tell my ex boss that he'll have to wait for me to consult on the legacy IT systems I wrote (I'm the only one left who can do it) so it's nice to have the power shift from him making my life hell to me making things uncomfortable for him.
On a materialistic note, I bought my first luxury watch and upgraded my car. I'm also in the process of converting the garage into a games room/office/summer house. Looking forward to having friends, family and neighbours over for a game of pool and a beer. Managed a family holiday and city break with the other half.
My kids are healthy and doing well so from a bad start to the year, I have perspective and realise how lucky I am. Roll on 2020. I hope it starts better than 2019.
Started off with my mother going into a care home after a bad fall, breaking her back and being kept in with dementia symptoms until we found her somewhere. Then my father got put on end of life care so spent 6 weeks looking after him with my brother until the end. That was hard. I took an extended leave from work after his death thanks to my boss and the job I was doing. I've never had to take time off for stress and after initially feeling guilty and weak, I realised it was the best thing I ever did. Taking a step back to concentrate on what's important.
My brother also had a cancer scare. He had a mole removed and all is well thankfully.
Fast forward to March and I changed roles and boss. I'm still on the same good money and bonus but I don't have to manage people or projects anymore so win win. More importantly I'm not stressed, I work to rule so only do a strict 37 hours per week unless travelling and I have a better work life balance to spend time with my family. I also got to tell my ex boss that he'll have to wait for me to consult on the legacy IT systems I wrote (I'm the only one left who can do it) so it's nice to have the power shift from him making my life hell to me making things uncomfortable for him.
On a materialistic note, I bought my first luxury watch and upgraded my car. I'm also in the process of converting the garage into a games room/office/summer house. Looking forward to having friends, family and neighbours over for a game of pool and a beer. Managed a family holiday and city break with the other half.
My kids are healthy and doing well so from a bad start to the year, I have perspective and realise how lucky I am. Roll on 2020. I hope it starts better than 2019.
A slog....
Broke up with GF - mop'ed for a couple of months - then met far far better gf so that worked out brilliantly ...switched employers and in my case at least the grass is very much greener ....
My only offspring (20) who's had the real short end of luck his entire life - leukaemia twice - over 6 years of gruelling and isolating treatment , lost most of his colon and as such missed a massive amount of his schooling and as such scraped 6 GCSE's whilst his mum was in ultimately tragic self destruct... he couldn't go for A levels that interested him but turned things massively around at college , enough to have universities queuing up to take him him....
I was already the proudest Dad there is - he's on for graduation next summer...BUT... with the minimum of parental input he set to applying for grad schemes that quite honestly I thought would be beyond him - every application resulted in an assessment day - and all three of his top "want" employers have in the last week or two offered him jobs, so spoilt for choice he starts with Microsoft next September.
A fantastic year for him and a testament to his drive and determination not to be written off - as I write, slacking off to PH he's finishing the first draft of his dissertation as only a first will do....
We've been to trailfinders this afternoon to book his graduation present - father & son route 66 trip next summer - his choice not mine - cost hurt a bit but it's an absolute pleasure :-)
So on balance a great year!
Some really sad tales here folks - you all have my sincere comiserations and best wishes for 2020!
Broke up with GF - mop'ed for a couple of months - then met far far better gf so that worked out brilliantly ...switched employers and in my case at least the grass is very much greener ....
My only offspring (20) who's had the real short end of luck his entire life - leukaemia twice - over 6 years of gruelling and isolating treatment , lost most of his colon and as such missed a massive amount of his schooling and as such scraped 6 GCSE's whilst his mum was in ultimately tragic self destruct... he couldn't go for A levels that interested him but turned things massively around at college , enough to have universities queuing up to take him him....
I was already the proudest Dad there is - he's on for graduation next summer...BUT... with the minimum of parental input he set to applying for grad schemes that quite honestly I thought would be beyond him - every application resulted in an assessment day - and all three of his top "want" employers have in the last week or two offered him jobs, so spoilt for choice he starts with Microsoft next September.
A fantastic year for him and a testament to his drive and determination not to be written off - as I write, slacking off to PH he's finishing the first draft of his dissertation as only a first will do....
We've been to trailfinders this afternoon to book his graduation present - father & son route 66 trip next summer - his choice not mine - cost hurt a bit but it's an absolute pleasure :-)
So on balance a great year!
Some really sad tales here folks - you all have my sincere comiserations and best wishes for 2020!
Evolved said:
Short! Can’t believe how quick this year has gone!
This in spades, I think primarily for me was because work has been busy all year and my kids started school. We really haven't had a chance to sit down and rest, what with overtime and kids after school and weekend sports. The main one plus for me is my boss has finally started to implement the changes I've been talking about for 5 years. Although he paid thousands for a business advisor to tell him what I'd been saying lol.
2019 has easily been the worst year i can remember in the 40 years i've been on this green earth. Multiple events that led to this assessment mind you but even more so i can't believe how fast it has gone.
2020 must be better but if it's going to use 2019 as a benchmark then it doesn't need to try too hard!
2020 must be better but if it's going to use 2019 as a benchmark then it doesn't need to try too hard!
Started '19 with 21 years RAF under my belt and happy to continue. Ending '19 having started a BSc because my job was quiet, then choosing to leave the RAF next year, and recently having secured a job that I'm really looking forward to starting early next year.
Oh and I got myself another VX220; this time a supercharged.
Oh and I got myself another VX220; this time a supercharged.
As years go it has been fairly brilliant for me.
Went for a 3 week holiday to Oz to see a close friend I haven't seen for a few years. Absolutely fantastic trip, top highlight walking on top of the Sydney Harbour bridge one evening, that moment will stay with me for a long time!
Finally after3 years of running I finally managed to get round to train for a half marathon and completed it in the time I wanted!
Work wise got poached to join another department and took a bit of a gamble but seems to be paying off and has given future career prospects a big jolt after getting too cozy in my old role.
Finally got myself my first proper girlfriend after years of trying and very much failing at the ripe old age of 32! As they say good things come to those who wait.
Only downer this year was a close friend had a stroke after some really bizarre circumstances. Put everything very much into perspective for me. Luckily he got off relatively lightly as you can with these things and is on the road to recovery, he has been extremely lucky!
Bringing it back to cars very much followed the leading thread and jumped on the A class deals only to end up in a 3 series after delay after delay.
Went for a 3 week holiday to Oz to see a close friend I haven't seen for a few years. Absolutely fantastic trip, top highlight walking on top of the Sydney Harbour bridge one evening, that moment will stay with me for a long time!
Finally after3 years of running I finally managed to get round to train for a half marathon and completed it in the time I wanted!
Work wise got poached to join another department and took a bit of a gamble but seems to be paying off and has given future career prospects a big jolt after getting too cozy in my old role.
Finally got myself my first proper girlfriend after years of trying and very much failing at the ripe old age of 32! As they say good things come to those who wait.
Only downer this year was a close friend had a stroke after some really bizarre circumstances. Put everything very much into perspective for me. Luckily he got off relatively lightly as you can with these things and is on the road to recovery, he has been extremely lucky!
Bringing it back to cars very much followed the leading thread and jumped on the A class deals only to end up in a 3 series after delay after delay.
Equilibrium25 said:
Absolutely dreadful. Good riddance 2019.
Glad to see the back of this year, too.Work wise, a pay rise after an appraisal was good, hauled before court for running a red light, not so good (Totting up)
Delinquent brother in law moves in. Followed by his mother. Bailiffs at the house chasing a debt after he wrote off an M5 rental car.
Nursery costs soar to £1800 per month, but will drop next year when one of the girls goes to primary school.
Mrs got a new job which is good, hopefully a new house and new start next year.
On the car front, chopped in the X Trail and after a brief period in a 3 series Touring, got a more comfortable X5, after waiting ages for BMW's Goodwill EGR modifications
No more elections next year, I hope...
Edited by The Li-ion King on Tuesday 24th December 06:56
Turn7 said:
Utter shyte year for us this year.
MrsT7 was made redundant at the end of '18 as the family closed the business. Found similar job very quickly, but is not as happy as previous/
My Boss Diagnosed with Blood Cancer January
Senior Engineer Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer March
Both off work for most of the year.
Engineer had surgery and chemo and is now fine, but only on 3 day week,and off the oncall rota
Boss sold us down the river to the local big boys, all under TUPE but it feels like we are very close to being shafted in the year with new contracts, including Sunday On call and 4 hour response times to certain customers.
None of us that TUPED feel happy, settled or even wanted.
Mother in law then diagnosed with Blood cancer.
Neighbour from Hell moved in last December and is causing huge issues with noise and untold water leaks.
2018 was one of the best years of our lives, but its been utter dogst this year.
Wow a lot of cancer going on, my guess is the "Boss" had a lot on his plate so maybe didn't sell you down the river in his circumstances ? Whatever, hope they all have a healthy as possible outcome . As far as the idiot neighbour ...I'd invest about £30 a week in the local "Boyzz" to visit him, make life as pleasent for him as he has for you...he might clear off...Hope things get better!MrsT7 was made redundant at the end of '18 as the family closed the business. Found similar job very quickly, but is not as happy as previous/
My Boss Diagnosed with Blood Cancer January
Senior Engineer Diagnosed with Bowel Cancer March
Both off work for most of the year.
Engineer had surgery and chemo and is now fine, but only on 3 day week,and off the oncall rota
Boss sold us down the river to the local big boys, all under TUPE but it feels like we are very close to being shafted in the year with new contracts, including Sunday On call and 4 hour response times to certain customers.
None of us that TUPED feel happy, settled or even wanted.
Mother in law then diagnosed with Blood cancer.
Neighbour from Hell moved in last December and is causing huge issues with noise and untold water leaks.
2018 was one of the best years of our lives, but its been utter dogs
t this year.PostHeads123 said:
Will be glad to see back of 2019 might be the worse year of my life so far, lost my grandad and Nan early in year then lost my dad in June. Top that off currently in process of redundancy from work and in Dec finally split from misses of 12 yrs not going to miss her tbh lol but going to miss my 4 yr old son big time, we arr spending xmas together and she moves out in Feb. Also diagnosed with dental neuralgia after spend £k at dentists being in pain for a year and having unnecessary tooth extractions.
Heres to a better 2020, at least have roof over my head, money in the bank and best of all I never married the ex hahah.
I hope so too PostHead Heres to a better 2020, at least have roof over my head, money in the bank and best of all I never married the ex hahah.
Edited by PostHeads123 on Monday 23 December 13:35
My year , 6/1/19 heart attack
Wife had a mental breakdown after losing her job just after reciving promotion.
Daughter having issues with Boyfriend etc which seens to spill over into us as she has come back home to live...
But mine just pales into insignifigance up to some of the heart breaking events here, hope things really do pick up for you guys & time is the only healer but cherish those memorys!
Wife had a mental breakdown after losing her job just after reciving promotion.
Daughter having issues with Boyfriend etc which seens to spill over into us as she has come back home to live...
But mine just pales into insignifigance up to some of the heart breaking events here, hope things really do pick up for you guys & time is the only healer but cherish those memorys!
Wacky Racer said:
Russ T Bolt said:
The last year and a few months have been the most challenging I can remember.
Oct '18 due operation to repair Meniscus Tear. Op cancelled due to abnormal blood test results.
Few weeks of investigation found Bowel Cancer, operation mid November '18
Lump successfully removed but indicators were it may have spread, so 8 cycles of Chemo started 27th December '18
Chemo cut short after 5 cycles due to side effects, amongst these seriously deteriorating eyesight.
Post Chemo MRI showed worrying indicators on Liver (Oncologist thought the Cancer had spread despite Chemo), further investigation showed all innocent.
Once chemo out of system started process of getting knee fixed, but by now needed a Total Knee Replacement, that was done 7 weeks ago.
Eyesight had become so bad by August this year I couldn't drive, use a computer, read, watch TV etc.
Went through a number of Eye Specialists before I found one who could actually explain what was wrong (beyond the very obvious cataracts, a side effect of the Chemo I took)
Both eyes now been operated on and eyesight brilliant.
Of all of the above, the loss of sight was by far the worst. Really debilitating and gave me a whole new perspective.
All looking up now though, even had the opportunity to apply for an enhanced redundancy package, so if it goes ahead I will be giving up work and going travelling.
Onwards and Upwards....Good luck. Oct '18 due operation to repair Meniscus Tear. Op cancelled due to abnormal blood test results.
Few weeks of investigation found Bowel Cancer, operation mid November '18
Lump successfully removed but indicators were it may have spread, so 8 cycles of Chemo started 27th December '18
Chemo cut short after 5 cycles due to side effects, amongst these seriously deteriorating eyesight.
Post Chemo MRI showed worrying indicators on Liver (Oncologist thought the Cancer had spread despite Chemo), further investigation showed all innocent.
Once chemo out of system started process of getting knee fixed, but by now needed a Total Knee Replacement, that was done 7 weeks ago.
Eyesight had become so bad by August this year I couldn't drive, use a computer, read, watch TV etc.
Went through a number of Eye Specialists before I found one who could actually explain what was wrong (beyond the very obvious cataracts, a side effect of the Chemo I took)
Both eyes now been operated on and eyesight brilliant.
Of all of the above, the loss of sight was by far the worst. Really debilitating and gave me a whole new perspective.
All looking up now though, even had the opportunity to apply for an enhanced redundancy package, so if it goes ahead I will be giving up work and going travelling.
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