Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
W201_190e said:
So new dads. How did you fight the tiredness in the newborn stage? Take naps or plough through with copious amounts of coffee?
I’ve taken the coffee approach.
I find newborn easy as its almost a rhythmic pattern and the noise the baby makes when it cries is more muted. I used to nap during the day for 45 minutes and then sleep with the baby for an hour at 6/7pm ish.I’ve taken the coffee approach.
The problems (can) start at teething age and you can be woken randomly by loud screaming at any point from 9pm through to 5am. It put me on edge constantly and frayed my nerves.
There's no real way to plan for it or, predict what's going to happen and after waking you at 5am for breakfast and cbeebies the little gits then seem to be able to sleep like a lead block at 8am, just when you are taking them to nursery.
We found things improved when we accepted that we didn’t both need to be awake for everything. Twins exacerbated this of course as most of it is far easier as a two man job. We would stagger our sleep times, wife would go to bed early, I’d keep the babies in the spare room, get some sleep myself if I could, and let her sleep as long as possible, once they needed a feed we’d all go and wake her up, and I got a bit of a longer lie in the morning if needed. I don’t think there’s an easy way though, they need regular feeds when tiny and only have one way of communicating that need!
W201_190e said:
So new dads. How did you fight the tiredness in the newborn stage? Take naps or plough through with copious amounts of coffee?
I’ve taken the coffee approach.
I've mentioned here a few times, it is really difficult imho (depending on the child). I've started Cod Liver Oil Pills and daily D vitamins, and I've never taken supplements before. Also imported grandmothers here routinely to cook decent meals for us! I’ve taken the coffee approach.
. Loads of coffee during the day, and take shorter sleeps if I can, which was some days impossible really.Three week old here and staggering our days to achieve six to seven hours sleep thanks to a hungry baby and solid three hour sleeping blocks. He's now taking 120ml feeds and that knocks him out.
Wife goes to bed at 10pm and up at 4am-5am.
I go to bed around 2am and up at 8am-9am.
Days can be a bit random with naps at anytime and trying to fit things in. I've not been able to cycle but sat on the turbo trainer at 1am while he sleeps next to me.
Speaking to the NCT crew, I think we've quite fortunate with our routine.
I'm back to work after the Bank Holiday so that's the next challenge.
Wife goes to bed at 10pm and up at 4am-5am.
I go to bed around 2am and up at 8am-9am.
Days can be a bit random with naps at anytime and trying to fit things in. I've not been able to cycle but sat on the turbo trainer at 1am while he sleeps next to me.
Speaking to the NCT crew, I think we've quite fortunate with our routine.
I'm back to work after the Bank Holiday so that's the next challenge.
Edited by Mark83 on Sunday 23 April 00:20
Really sorry to read that Ambleton, terrible news.
So twins...
Ours were born 24th February both weighing 1.62kg - spent 2 days in NICU then 12 days in SCBU before we got them home. Got them home on 10th March and had a couple of lovely weeks at home. On discharge from hospital we were advised to keep an eye on their temperatures as in the hospital T1 was always on the colder side and T2 on the warmer side.
One day we checked T2 temp on a new thermometer and it was showing low 38s, so phoned GP who asked us to come in - temp at GP was 36.7 but she advised us to go to A&E anyway as we'd seen 38 at home. 8 hours later we were back home after the doctors agreed our new thermometer wasn't reading correctly (I blame myself for not reading instructions - it has an in ear function and a forehead function with a toggle switch that I never noticed) - obs had been fine in the hospital during this time.
Fast forward a week and T1 is off his feeds, really pale, lethargic, has a cough. After taking his evening feed eventually he starts to cough and then has about 10 spells of going blue in the face proceeded by red then pale, all in the space of about 5 minutes. Rush to A&E and he's seen and loads of tests carried out, one of which eventually comes back positive with RSV and chest xray showing signs of bronchiolitis so he's admitted to the ward. Over the next few days he deteriorates and is moved to PICU - IV fluids, high flow oxygen. T2 during this time is slowly showing signs of not being well either - pale and off feeds. We decided to take T2 in and sure enough, RSV and bronch. She's admitted to the ward and on IV fluids and low flow oxygen.
T1 then improves and is back on the ward. T2 deteriorates and is moved to PICU. Next night I'm doing the 3am feed that the nurses handed into me (wifes expressed milk thats been stored in the hospital fridge) - feed finished, burped, settled. I'm cleaning up afterwards when I notice that it's not my wife's name on the bottle and the milk is a week old (Hospital should only store EBM for 2 days) - I go to the nurses station to enquire and they're horrified to admit he's been given another patient's milk, that's out of date, and the patient was discharged 6 days ago. Datix logged and sincere apologies from senior staff and consultants with assurance that no infection risk following notes reviews.
Saga eventually ends, both perked right up and we get home on the Sunday after about 12 days in hospital. We put the RSV infection down to the 2 hours waiting in A&E for the erroneous temperature reading.
Monday morning T1 is off his feeds and really pale again. My mum was coming over for a visit so we phone her to advise we're taking him back to A&E - she was 5 minutes out so she said she'd watch T2 to let us head in with him. My wife put him in his car seat a few minutes before my mum was due to arrive whilst she packed a bag etc - I checked on him maybe a minute later and honestly thought he was dead. He was grey except blue around the eyes nose and mouth. Quickly got him out the car seat and on his back on the ground and the blueness disappeared and he returned to white rather than grey. 999 - ambulance - blue lighted straight to resus. Got him stabilised etc then further checks carried out and moved up to the ward. Long story short he now has bacterial pneumonia - secondary infection from the RSV.
T2 still fine at home at this point - come Thursday she was poorly again. Really irritable when being picked up, weak cry, hot, mottled skin. Another high speed visit to A&E - temp of 38.8 on arrival so rushed to the top of the priority list - lots of tests carried out, infection marker continued to rise for 2 days then started to come back down - on antibiotics etc whilst waiting for results - viral infection is detected in spinal fluid confirming that she's had viral meningitis. Thankfully both improve greatly over the coming days and we're discharged (again) about after another week in hospital.
We're all now home and somewhat exhausted! All over a dodgy thermometer reading... Both now nearly double their birth weight at least!
So twins...
Ours were born 24th February both weighing 1.62kg - spent 2 days in NICU then 12 days in SCBU before we got them home. Got them home on 10th March and had a couple of lovely weeks at home. On discharge from hospital we were advised to keep an eye on their temperatures as in the hospital T1 was always on the colder side and T2 on the warmer side.
One day we checked T2 temp on a new thermometer and it was showing low 38s, so phoned GP who asked us to come in - temp at GP was 36.7 but she advised us to go to A&E anyway as we'd seen 38 at home. 8 hours later we were back home after the doctors agreed our new thermometer wasn't reading correctly (I blame myself for not reading instructions - it has an in ear function and a forehead function with a toggle switch that I never noticed) - obs had been fine in the hospital during this time.
Fast forward a week and T1 is off his feeds, really pale, lethargic, has a cough. After taking his evening feed eventually he starts to cough and then has about 10 spells of going blue in the face proceeded by red then pale, all in the space of about 5 minutes. Rush to A&E and he's seen and loads of tests carried out, one of which eventually comes back positive with RSV and chest xray showing signs of bronchiolitis so he's admitted to the ward. Over the next few days he deteriorates and is moved to PICU - IV fluids, high flow oxygen. T2 during this time is slowly showing signs of not being well either - pale and off feeds. We decided to take T2 in and sure enough, RSV and bronch. She's admitted to the ward and on IV fluids and low flow oxygen.
T1 then improves and is back on the ward. T2 deteriorates and is moved to PICU. Next night I'm doing the 3am feed that the nurses handed into me (wifes expressed milk thats been stored in the hospital fridge) - feed finished, burped, settled. I'm cleaning up afterwards when I notice that it's not my wife's name on the bottle and the milk is a week old (Hospital should only store EBM for 2 days) - I go to the nurses station to enquire and they're horrified to admit he's been given another patient's milk, that's out of date, and the patient was discharged 6 days ago. Datix logged and sincere apologies from senior staff and consultants with assurance that no infection risk following notes reviews.
Saga eventually ends, both perked right up and we get home on the Sunday after about 12 days in hospital. We put the RSV infection down to the 2 hours waiting in A&E for the erroneous temperature reading.
Monday morning T1 is off his feeds and really pale again. My mum was coming over for a visit so we phone her to advise we're taking him back to A&E - she was 5 minutes out so she said she'd watch T2 to let us head in with him. My wife put him in his car seat a few minutes before my mum was due to arrive whilst she packed a bag etc - I checked on him maybe a minute later and honestly thought he was dead. He was grey except blue around the eyes nose and mouth. Quickly got him out the car seat and on his back on the ground and the blueness disappeared and he returned to white rather than grey. 999 - ambulance - blue lighted straight to resus. Got him stabilised etc then further checks carried out and moved up to the ward. Long story short he now has bacterial pneumonia - secondary infection from the RSV.
T2 still fine at home at this point - come Thursday she was poorly again. Really irritable when being picked up, weak cry, hot, mottled skin. Another high speed visit to A&E - temp of 38.8 on arrival so rushed to the top of the priority list - lots of tests carried out, infection marker continued to rise for 2 days then started to come back down - on antibiotics etc whilst waiting for results - viral infection is detected in spinal fluid confirming that she's had viral meningitis. Thankfully both improve greatly over the coming days and we're discharged (again) about after another week in hospital.
We're all now home and somewhat exhausted! All over a dodgy thermometer reading... Both now nearly double their birth weight at least!
Bloody hell, what a nightmare!wishing you speedy recovery. Not sure where you live but whenever we have to visit A&E, if it's crowded I keep the mother and baby in the car and give my mobile number to the nurse or whoever in charge for entry to call us in rather than waiting in those small, fully packed jail rooms.
Our first is 15 months old and Mrs H is expecting our second, due December.
As for tiredness and timings, getting into a routine is key IMO.
Look up wake windows and figure out how that works for your own. Ours is about 3 hours, so up at 6:30, nap 9:30 and 3, bed at 6.
Bath, Bottle, Bed at the same time every day for bedtime helps the baby get into their own routine and understanding what is going on.
Swaddles for naps/bed - helps the baby to comfort and they feel as though they are being cuddled.
Motorised rocking cradle - godsend when you want to put baby down for a nap and have your hands free.
Sleep training at 6 months old - two weeks of pain sleep wise, but since then ours has slept through 6/7pk through to 6/7 every morning.
Still tired despite all the above. It does get better, potentially harder as the walking starts and their character begins to develop, but much more fun. Can’t beat a baby/toddler giggling along with you.
Can’t believe we are about to go though it all again, equally excited though.
As for tiredness and timings, getting into a routine is key IMO.
Look up wake windows and figure out how that works for your own. Ours is about 3 hours, so up at 6:30, nap 9:30 and 3, bed at 6.
Bath, Bottle, Bed at the same time every day for bedtime helps the baby get into their own routine and understanding what is going on.
Swaddles for naps/bed - helps the baby to comfort and they feel as though they are being cuddled.
Motorised rocking cradle - godsend when you want to put baby down for a nap and have your hands free.
Sleep training at 6 months old - two weeks of pain sleep wise, but since then ours has slept through 6/7pk through to 6/7 every morning.
Still tired despite all the above. It does get better, potentially harder as the walking starts and their character begins to develop, but much more fun. Can’t beat a baby/toddler giggling along with you.
Can’t believe we are about to go though it all again, equally excited though.
Other half still really suffering with morning sickness. She was getting a bit better but took a real dive at the weekend and ended up in A&E where they administered fluids via IV and a different anti-sickness medication. As we are about to hit 12 weeks, really hoping it starts subsiding soon as it is miserable for her. Next milestone is the 12 week (and 5 days) scan next tuesday.
She had her blood taken for a screening tests at the 9 week mid-wife appointment. I'm new to this but seems odd they apparently only contact you if there is a problem not if everything is OK. I sort of want positive confirmation to make sure they haven't lost the sample or something. Is this something you can request?
She had her blood taken for a screening tests at the 9 week mid-wife appointment. I'm new to this but seems odd they apparently only contact you if there is a problem not if everything is OK. I sort of want positive confirmation to make sure they haven't lost the sample or something. Is this something you can request?
Just to close out our chapter...
Today we found out for certain (I was 80% sure anyway) that our lost soul was a little girl, 5 weeks after she was born. My wife's waters broke at 20wks and then was induced and gave birth at 21weeks on 05/04/23 (there was nothing that could be done). The midwives aren't allowed to say the sex at the time unless it's 100% obvious. If there's any chance of doubt you have to wait for test results.
Baby Hope was perfect, just too early to survive
Because she was born before 24wks there was no registered birth or death. Our hospital chaplain does a memorial service at a local church and burial every two months for lost babies. The next one is a week on Thursday which is going to be tough.
After care has been excellent with special grievance midwives etc. Each time they've visited us. We've not actually had to go back to the hospital since the birth (yet), which is a good thing IMO.
Sleep safe little baby Hope
Today we found out for certain (I was 80% sure anyway) that our lost soul was a little girl, 5 weeks after she was born. My wife's waters broke at 20wks and then was induced and gave birth at 21weeks on 05/04/23 (there was nothing that could be done). The midwives aren't allowed to say the sex at the time unless it's 100% obvious. If there's any chance of doubt you have to wait for test results.
Baby Hope was perfect, just too early to survive
Because she was born before 24wks there was no registered birth or death. Our hospital chaplain does a memorial service at a local church and burial every two months for lost babies. The next one is a week on Thursday which is going to be tough.
After care has been excellent with special grievance midwives etc. Each time they've visited us. We've not actually had to go back to the hospital since the birth (yet), which is a good thing IMO.
Sleep safe little baby Hope
Edited by Ambleton on Tuesday 9th May 22:33
Ambleton said:
Just to close out our chapter...
Today we found out for certain (I was 80% sure anyway) that our lost soul was a little girl, 5 weeks after she was born. My wife's waters broke at 20wks and then was induced and gave birth at 21weeks on 05/04/23 (there was nothing that could be done). The midwives aren't allowed to say the sex at the time unless it's 100% obvious. If there's any chance of doubt you have to wait for test results.
Baby Hope was perfect, just too early to survive
Because she was born before 24wks there was no registered birth or death. Our hospital chaplain does a memorial service at a local church and burial every two months for lost babies. The next one is a week on Thursday which is going to be tough.
After care has been excellent with special grievance midwives etc. Each time they've visited us. We've not actually had to go back to the hospital since the birth (yet), which is a good thing IMO.
Sleep safe little baby Hope
No words, just cannot comprehend what you've been going through. So sorry for your loss.Today we found out for certain (I was 80% sure anyway) that our lost soul was a little girl, 5 weeks after she was born. My wife's waters broke at 20wks and then was induced and gave birth at 21weeks on 05/04/23 (there was nothing that could be done). The midwives aren't allowed to say the sex at the time unless it's 100% obvious. If there's any chance of doubt you have to wait for test results.
Baby Hope was perfect, just too early to survive
Because she was born before 24wks there was no registered birth or death. Our hospital chaplain does a memorial service at a local church and burial every two months for lost babies. The next one is a week on Thursday which is going to be tough.
After care has been excellent with special grievance midwives etc. Each time they've visited us. We've not actually had to go back to the hospital since the birth (yet), which is a good thing IMO.
Sleep safe little baby Hope
Edited by Ambleton on Tuesday 9th May 22:33
You roll the dice. 1in4 pregnancies overall either fail or have serious issues.
Past about 20wks though it's less than 0.5%. gotta be someone I guess... Just appeared to be us this time round.
The real kicker is being out an about and seeing drugged up, spherical, smoker families of mouth breathers with half a dozen kids they don't want, can't afford and/or don't care for.
Past about 20wks though it's less than 0.5%. gotta be someone I guess... Just appeared to be us this time round.
The real kicker is being out an about and seeing drugged up, spherical, smoker families of mouth breathers with half a dozen kids they don't want, can't afford and/or don't care for.
Ambleton said:
You roll the dice. 1in4 pregnancies overall either fail or have serious issues.
Past about 20wks though it's less than 0.5%. gotta be someone I guess... Just appeared to be us this time round.
The real kicker is being out an about and seeing drugged up, spherical, smoker families of mouth breathers with half a dozen kids they don't want, can't afford and/or don't care for.
My wife and I didn't realise how many fail until it happened to us at 12 weeks. When that happened we saw the stats and after speaking to friends and family discovered that it has happened to a number of them too. Past about 20wks though it's less than 0.5%. gotta be someone I guess... Just appeared to be us this time round.
The real kicker is being out an about and seeing drugged up, spherical, smoker families of mouth breathers with half a dozen kids they don't want, can't afford and/or don't care for.
It really is very frustrating to see people like that. I'll always remember leaving the maternity ward to go and get the car to collect my wife after the emergency surgery she ended up having due to her miscarriage. I walked out of the double doors to 2 heavily pregnant women and their partners stood there smoking. I was so angry at what had happened to my wife who had been so careful about what she ate, drank (no alcohol obvs but also no caffine etc) and did in the 12 weeks yet these mouth breathers were stood there doing that. Fortunately they were gone by the time i'd got back as i'd wound myself up so much in that walk that I would have said something and probably ended up in a fight.
Edited by fiatpower on Wednesday 10th May 11:49
fiatpower said:
My wife and I didn't realise how many fail until it happened to us at 12 weeks. When that happened we saw the stats and after speaking to friends and family discovered that it has happened to a number of them too.
Same with us. We told people what happened and surprised at the number of friends and family then told us they went through the same. For something so heartbreaking, it's just not talked about for some reason. Ambleton - sincerely sorry to read what has happened. I hope you and Mrs Ambleton are holding up as best you can.
We went cybex - the car seat is great as it'll recline flat when out of the car so they can have extended periods in it when sleeping.
We also got the e-Priam, the battery is great for hills but in honesty the pram itself is far too big (takes nearly the whole boot in our X5) so if doing again we'd prefer a smaller frame.
We also got a second hand Doona buggy (folds from a car seat to a pram) so covers our smaller buggy for holidays etc
We also got the e-Priam, the battery is great for hills but in honesty the pram itself is far too big (takes nearly the whole boot in our X5) so if doing again we'd prefer a smaller frame.
We also got a second hand Doona buggy (folds from a car seat to a pram) so covers our smaller buggy for holidays etc
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