Just how much did your life change when you had children?
Discussion
My daughter will be 1 month old tomorrow.
Birth was a nightmare. We wanted a waterbirth in the local birthing centre which was really nice.
We started off there at 4 in the morning but after 12 hours and a lot of pain my wife had failed to progress so was transferred to the local maternity ward. An epidural sorted the pain out but by the time that had kicked in and she was ready to push her contractions, which had been really intense all day, had stopped.
She was taken into theatre for an examination and we were told it had to be a c section as the baby had signs of swelling on her head so no ventouse was possible.
We were supposed to be in the theatre for an hour but were there for over 3.5 as my wife's uterus tore like a wet paper bag.
All in all a really horrendous 28 hours but little Zara was absolutely fine.
The first week after was really hard as the wife was kept in hospital for 48 hours and was in lots of pain.
All good now though and getting used to each other.
She seems to be a really good baby and was out and about with us all over the Bank Holiday weekend and was as good as gold.
She wakes every 2 hours in the night though which is hard and doesn't sleep during the day so the wife can't get any sleep or do much else and is also stuck in the house for another 2 weeks until she is cleared to drive.
Loving being a parent though and its amazing how much she changes on a daily basis. She's a lot more alert now but I'm looking forward to her being more interactive.
Hard being back in work when you are tired but then you get sent pics like this which just make you laugh.
Birth was a nightmare. We wanted a waterbirth in the local birthing centre which was really nice.
We started off there at 4 in the morning but after 12 hours and a lot of pain my wife had failed to progress so was transferred to the local maternity ward. An epidural sorted the pain out but by the time that had kicked in and she was ready to push her contractions, which had been really intense all day, had stopped.
She was taken into theatre for an examination and we were told it had to be a c section as the baby had signs of swelling on her head so no ventouse was possible.
We were supposed to be in the theatre for an hour but were there for over 3.5 as my wife's uterus tore like a wet paper bag.
All in all a really horrendous 28 hours but little Zara was absolutely fine.
The first week after was really hard as the wife was kept in hospital for 48 hours and was in lots of pain.
All good now though and getting used to each other.
She seems to be a really good baby and was out and about with us all over the Bank Holiday weekend and was as good as gold.
She wakes every 2 hours in the night though which is hard and doesn't sleep during the day so the wife can't get any sleep or do much else and is also stuck in the house for another 2 weeks until she is cleared to drive.
Loving being a parent though and its amazing how much she changes on a daily basis. She's a lot more alert now but I'm looking forward to her being more interactive.
Hard being back in work when you are tired but then you get sent pics like this which just make you laugh.
BoRED S2upid said:
Little BS2's second day in nursery today yesterday was tough because the wife phoned up at lunch and could hear the little man crying. Today all smiles when he saw the nursery nurse so fingers crossed for a better day.
J didn't settle for a few weeks (3 days/wk), and even then it took >1 month for him to be properly happy. Now he barely waves goodbye some mornings, he's in such a hurry to see his friends...Tapeworm - ROFL - likely to get there later this year...not looking forward to it!
Davey - sounds normal, the sleep DOES get better (and the texted photos are always funny...especially when they're older and start trying to feed themselves!!!).
Ah, to be young and still romantic! When the bills mount inexorably as they grow up, when you start to question your children going out for the evening, and when they are still living at home at 30, you'll remember the happy days - perhaps. My daughter, 38, phoned me to tell me she would periodically need funds because they had split up. Not a request you'll note. The younger is having IVF and wants £5,000. They are on twice my income; request denied. But I still remember those days.
lowdrag said:
Ah, to be young and still romantic! When the bills mount inexorably as they grow up, when you start to question your children going out for the evening, and when they are still living at home at 30, you'll remember the happy days - perhaps. My daughter, 38, phoned me to tell me she would periodically need funds because they had split up. Not a request you'll note. The younger is having IVF and wants £5,000. They are on twice my income; request denied. But I still remember those days.
Just having one of the less fun evenings, I've got a knee brace on restricting movement, my daughter(18 months old) is teething with what seems like a random molar coming through, my wife has gone out. So guess who is refusing to go to sleep in their bed and is now asleep on me for the second time tonight having woken up the moment I tried to leave the room having put her down.
Bullett said:
Does anyone know how to apply for Ninja school? The 4yo was in our bed again this morning (monsters in his room apparently) neither the wife or I know when he got in but he was between us.
I know some other couples who have children that do this. Did yours ever sleep with you when he was a baby? or has he just learned to come find you and snuggle up on his own?I have spent far far far too much time over the last few days reading through the entire thread having dipped in when we were about 8.5 months into parenthood and making a brief post.
We are now 15 months in and have another on the way on August 23rd or near about. I have found this thread make me laugh, bring a tear to my eye, make me feel happy, sad, angry, disappointed, sympathetic and empathetic and that is pretty much like parenthood.
I fell in love with my daughter at the moment I saw her and haven't wavered for a moment since - I have once uttered the words "oh for f
k's sake shut the fk up" and felt the crushing guilt immediately afterwards, so I can identify whole heartedly with the frustration others have felt.
Sleep training / controlled crying was so worth it despite the 3 nights of misery - we celebrated with a bottle of champagne the first night she slept through, I haven't ever experienced an event more worthy of champagne - even getting married :-)
She is the best thing in the world to me and I love her to bits, as others have said you just can't understand until you have been through it but I would sacrifice myself in an instant for her if necessary and do anything in my power to help her.
I like many work Monday - Friday so don't get as much time with her as I would like, but the time I do get is filled with fun, laughter and of course exploding st, snot and tears to name but a few.
I would not change it for the world and despite the broken sleep continuing and the rarely sleeping past 5.15am I love it - the feeling that you are responsible for creating a person and then helping to craft them into the person they will become is awesome.
I can't wait for Izzi's little brother to come along and complete our family - yes 2 is enough and the snip will follow :-).
I do miss things from my life before becoming a parent, but they pale into comparison with the joy I get from being a Dad, it is overwhelming in both good and bad ways.
I have also become even more of a softie as others have mentioned and feel such impotent rage when I hear of children being mistreated, I also broke down at Marley and Me for about the 3rd time :-)
Hey it's not for everyone, but it is most DEFINITELY for me and I love it.
We are now 15 months in and have another on the way on August 23rd or near about. I have found this thread make me laugh, bring a tear to my eye, make me feel happy, sad, angry, disappointed, sympathetic and empathetic and that is pretty much like parenthood.
I fell in love with my daughter at the moment I saw her and haven't wavered for a moment since - I have once uttered the words "oh for f
k's sake shut the fk up" and felt the crushing guilt immediately afterwards, so I can identify whole heartedly with the frustration others have felt.Sleep training / controlled crying was so worth it despite the 3 nights of misery - we celebrated with a bottle of champagne the first night she slept through, I haven't ever experienced an event more worthy of champagne - even getting married :-)
She is the best thing in the world to me and I love her to bits, as others have said you just can't understand until you have been through it but I would sacrifice myself in an instant for her if necessary and do anything in my power to help her.
I like many work Monday - Friday so don't get as much time with her as I would like, but the time I do get is filled with fun, laughter and of course exploding s
t, snot and tears to name but a few.I would not change it for the world and despite the broken sleep continuing and the rarely sleeping past 5.15am I love it - the feeling that you are responsible for creating a person and then helping to craft them into the person they will become is awesome.
I can't wait for Izzi's little brother to come along and complete our family - yes 2 is enough and the snip will follow :-).
I do miss things from my life before becoming a parent, but they pale into comparison with the joy I get from being a Dad, it is overwhelming in both good and bad ways.
I have also become even more of a softie as others have mentioned and feel such impotent rage when I hear of children being mistreated, I also broke down at Marley and Me for about the 3rd time :-)
Hey it's not for everyone, but it is most DEFINITELY for me and I love it.
Our youngest moved out yesterday at the 'tender' age of 23 to start in earnest on his career next Monday. Luckily, after a bit of trepidation following his graduation last year, he has landed a job in Oxford where his GF went some months ago to follow her career and they have found a very nice flat which they moved into yesterday.
His elder brother moved out a year ago at the age of 24 to follow his career in London following his graduation the previous year.
So they are both now well educated and fully 'launched' into their own fully independent lives and are a source of pride for both of us - it is, after all is it not, what a successful end to parenting should be. No doubt there will be further challenges ahead for them but they are both sensible and level headed and I have no doubt will be able to cope with whatever life throws at them.
Just over 25 years ago life changed dramatically for Mrs Garvin and myself. We went from living like students - just married with bills - to parents with responsibilities which extended further than just ourselves. Was it scary - yes. Was it hard work - you better believe it. Were there times we could have happily strangled the little blighters - oh, yes. But there were good and great times as a family which made it more than worthwhile. Would we change anything - no.
Now Mrs Garvin and I have our lives changed again - we are contemplating re-learning how to live like students again - just married, still with bills but (very much) older, wiser and with a lot more disposable income. Should be good!
His elder brother moved out a year ago at the age of 24 to follow his career in London following his graduation the previous year.
So they are both now well educated and fully 'launched' into their own fully independent lives and are a source of pride for both of us - it is, after all is it not, what a successful end to parenting should be. No doubt there will be further challenges ahead for them but they are both sensible and level headed and I have no doubt will be able to cope with whatever life throws at them.
Just over 25 years ago life changed dramatically for Mrs Garvin and myself. We went from living like students - just married with bills - to parents with responsibilities which extended further than just ourselves. Was it scary - yes. Was it hard work - you better believe it. Were there times we could have happily strangled the little blighters - oh, yes. But there were good and great times as a family which made it more than worthwhile. Would we change anything - no.
Now Mrs Garvin and I have our lives changed again - we are contemplating re-learning how to live like students again - just married, still with bills but (very much) older, wiser and with a lot more disposable income. Should be good!
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Landlord said:
I think I've said already on this thread but will say again that I just can't read/hear/see news about mistreated kids or tragic cases involving children.
I haven't for years. I know it goes on but it's so far removed from my life that I just prefer to adopt a head in the sand attitude. Which is pretty awful but hey ho. When the James Bulger incident happened it was long before I was a Dad. At the time, I thought it was a terrible, terrible thing to happen, and felt sorry for those around him of course, but that was kind of it.
Now, as a Dad, I can't even think about it without it really hitting me quite hard.
Well my little boy is 1 on the 23rd May.
It has flown by to be honest. He is getting a great little personality and when everyone meets him they can't believe how he just smiles and is happy about everything. I sometimes point out that they haven't tried putting him to bed as he fights every second until he is a sleep.
It has flown by to be honest. He is getting a great little personality and when everyone meets him they can't believe how he just smiles and is happy about everything. I sometimes point out that they haven't tried putting him to bed as he fights every second until he is a sleep.
I've seen this thread a few times but have never actually had a look at it.
Anyway, I have to admit that when my wife told me she was pregnant I was in a bit of a state. I never wanted children - I had motorbikes and some nice cars, no real responsibilities and the thought of one of those screaming, expensive poop machines just sent shivvers down my spine.
My daughter is now 19 months old and is a proper little daddies girl. This sounds a bit 'gushy' but I wouldn't change anything, she is the best 'mistake' I've ever made.
At the weekend my little girl is to be found in the garage with me assisting me with my classic bike or helping me work on the car. By 'assisting' she us really just playing with my tools or running off with whatever spanner or socket I need at the time! I love spending as much time with her and we like to go off on adventures in the car where we can cause maximum havoc together and leave mum at home to relax.
We are due our second Little Monster next month and I can't wait.
My wife is doing an exam tomorrow (long story) and I'm away so my little girl has been picked up by my sister to spend a couple of days with her cousins. It is the first time she has ever been away from home without us and I've never been so apprehensive. I feel like a proper over protective parent.
As for the comment above regarding child abuse and the awful stuff you read in the news. I too can no longer read those things. It's odd how in the space of just two years a persons life can change so massively. I couldn't think of it being any different though.
Anyway, I feel I may be rambling...
Anyway, I have to admit that when my wife told me she was pregnant I was in a bit of a state. I never wanted children - I had motorbikes and some nice cars, no real responsibilities and the thought of one of those screaming, expensive poop machines just sent shivvers down my spine.
My daughter is now 19 months old and is a proper little daddies girl. This sounds a bit 'gushy' but I wouldn't change anything, she is the best 'mistake' I've ever made.
At the weekend my little girl is to be found in the garage with me assisting me with my classic bike or helping me work on the car. By 'assisting' she us really just playing with my tools or running off with whatever spanner or socket I need at the time! I love spending as much time with her and we like to go off on adventures in the car where we can cause maximum havoc together and leave mum at home to relax.
We are due our second Little Monster next month and I can't wait.
My wife is doing an exam tomorrow (long story) and I'm away so my little girl has been picked up by my sister to spend a couple of days with her cousins. It is the first time she has ever been away from home without us and I've never been so apprehensive. I feel like a proper over protective parent.
As for the comment above regarding child abuse and the awful stuff you read in the news. I too can no longer read those things. It's odd how in the space of just two years a persons life can change so massively. I couldn't think of it being any different though.
Anyway, I feel I may be rambling...
Good to hear tales of happy Dads.
For us it started all over again just 11 months ago, when our Granddaughter was born.
"Nona" has taken up the role of full time day carer and we are moving house to be able to do that full time from our house, rather than the "Nona" lodging with them.
Granddaughter is coming to stay with us next week, for the week, for the 2nd time, so my Daughter is less worried this time.
Can't wait to see her little face on Sunday!
Sadly I am on 12hr day shift all next week, so I will only see her for a short time in the evening if she is still up.
Last time she stayed, I took her for her first ride on the swing at our local park, she loved it!
Providing this family support is very important to us, as they need both incomes to survive.
We "went without" when my wife stayed at home with our children, so she can't stand the thought of strangers bringing up our Granddaughter in day care.
Good luck all and NEVER be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help or advice from people around you.
For us it started all over again just 11 months ago, when our Granddaughter was born.
"Nona" has taken up the role of full time day carer and we are moving house to be able to do that full time from our house, rather than the "Nona" lodging with them.
Granddaughter is coming to stay with us next week, for the week, for the 2nd time, so my Daughter is less worried this time.
Can't wait to see her little face on Sunday!
Sadly I am on 12hr day shift all next week, so I will only see her for a short time in the evening if she is still up.
Last time she stayed, I took her for her first ride on the swing at our local park, she loved it!
Providing this family support is very important to us, as they need both incomes to survive.
We "went without" when my wife stayed at home with our children, so she can't stand the thought of strangers bringing up our Granddaughter in day care.
Good luck all and NEVER be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help or advice from people around you.
Had our first late night trip to A&E last night, Betsy (4) was wrestling Molly (1.5) on the sofa, fell off rolled over and split the back of her head open on the hearth.
4hr wait and they glued it back together.
She is fine today, moaning of a headache and very grumpy but seems ok.
I was out on the bike and when I got home mum was there, was a very panicky hour or so while I tried to get hold of my wife and clean all the blood up.
Never thought I would worry more about someone else than I do myself.
4hr wait and they glued it back together.
She is fine today, moaning of a headache and very grumpy but seems ok.
I was out on the bike and when I got home mum was there, was a very panicky hour or so while I tried to get hold of my wife and clean all the blood up.
Never thought I would worry more about someone else than I do myself.
My life changed, 3 children and one with ASD, no chance of babysitters and no relatives nearby.
House gets wrecked, wall paper ripped things broken all the time. Partner can't work due to child with ASD so only one wage which is livable as well paid.
Not been out as a couple in about 8 years, can't go on holiday due to a) cost b) travel is difficult c) fear of holiday accomodation getting wrecked and generally not enjoyable.
Child with ASD is 5 and still in nappies and cant talk, plays with poo and gets it everywhere, cant be left fot a moment.
Home life is screaming kids and working 110% just to get by!!!
Before children.... enjoyed holidays, 2 wages always doing things with cars and motorbikes, doing houses up, hiking and camping etc now all gone
So imagine could be great if you are lucky, have loads of friends and family near by but you are in the lap of the gods and is no going back!!!
House gets wrecked, wall paper ripped things broken all the time. Partner can't work due to child with ASD so only one wage which is livable as well paid.
Not been out as a couple in about 8 years, can't go on holiday due to a) cost b) travel is difficult c) fear of holiday accomodation getting wrecked and generally not enjoyable.
Child with ASD is 5 and still in nappies and cant talk, plays with poo and gets it everywhere, cant be left fot a moment.
Home life is screaming kids and working 110% just to get by!!!
Before children.... enjoyed holidays, 2 wages always doing things with cars and motorbikes, doing houses up, hiking and camping etc now all gone
So imagine could be great if you are lucky, have loads of friends and family near by but you are in the lap of the gods and is no going back!!!
Mr E said:
On a lighter note; my life has changed to the point that I'm seriously considering a diesel hybrid estate.
I am disgusted with myself frankly.
If it helps, I now rock a 25 year old Volvo estate...I am disgusted with myself frankly.
Sampsan - I hope things get a bit better for you.
Edited by bob1179 on Friday 9th May 21:27
SkepticSteve said:
Providing this family support is very important to us, as they need both incomes to survive.
We "went without" when my wife stayed at home with our children, so she can't stand the thought of strangers bringing up our Granddaughter in day care.
Good on you for helping, but to offer another perspective, our little lad LOVES nursery - he gets to play with other kids all day long (22mths, has been there nearly 12 months and has a couple of genuine friends already), the girls (women, but mostly late-teens/early-20s) at the nursery are pretty much all really caring people, and the nursery has structured play and exposes them to all sorts of different stuff.We "went without" when my wife stayed at home with our children, so she can't stand the thought of strangers bringing up our Granddaughter in day care.
We've not had the choice - limited grandparental support locally - but we've not regretted sending him there for one minute - think it's helped his development and his interaction with other kids (he's our first, so only child at home).
So, much as it WILL cost, a day or two per week in nursery might be good for your GD. Won't lie - first few weeks were hard for him and for us, but once he settled we've not looked back. Few more bugs brought home than otherwise, but that's part of being a kid, eh???
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