Food Diary

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e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Tuesday 10th July 2018
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Back in December '04 I was involved in a near fatal car crash and spent the following year as a hospital inpatient. The first few weeks were spent in an induced coma and were followed by a period of psychosis where I was convinced I had been responsible to the deaths of 3 children. I wasn't and there were no children involved but no amount of reassurance (by anyone, including doctors, nurses, family etc) could convince me otherwise. I spent a lot of time crying and consumed by guilt, whilst also having other less traumatic dreams and/or hallucinations. Some were actually quite funny, such as the discussion between a doctor and a suited medical rep', where it was explained that they could remove my personality, soul and ''essence of me'' and suspend me in a fluid until such time as my body was healed and they could pop me back in! The doctor was concerned by the cost but needn't have been, as the rep' was from Palitoy and Action Man and they would be funding my treatment! Or the night I had managed to leave the hospital, despite being bedridden and in 'halo traction', then driven to Devon in a Land Rover I'd hired despite my having broken my neck, back, pelvis and fractured skull. I'd also severed the blood vessel in my groin so had suffered huge internal bleeding so had been incredibly lucky to survive. My memories of that time are still incredibly vivid and it was nearly 2 months till the psychosis began to subside. In fact, one evening on the trauma ward the nurse turned off the light and as she did so, hundreds of pairs of spectacle frames appeared floating all around me. I remember trying to reach for a pair but never being able to quite reach them. The chap in the bed opposite called out and asked what I was doing?, at which point I was about the tell him but realised the absurdity of it all. I just said 'nothing' and laid there quietly instead. It was literally from that point on that I questioned the things I was seeing, as opposed to just accepting that everything going on around me was real. I didn't always get it right though. I kept asking to see the young security guard who'd sat at my bedside in Intensive Care for days. He never spoke to me but his just being there had made me feel safe. It took the ITU ward Sister to visit me and explain that no such guy existed. It took a while to accept that truth be told.

Eventually some normality returned to my mental health. I remained bedridden for about 6 months and my whole world was the corner space of a ward. I had a TV and a Playstation, although being flat on my back meant part of the screen was obscured. Clearly I still had to deal with the physical impact of my injuries but for the most part I simply did as I was told. I remained in halo traction for a couple of months. This is where a metal ring is literally bolted to your skull and this is then bolted to a thick plastic waistcoat type affair, with a sheepskin lining.I also had an external fixator keeping what was left of my pelvis in place. Once I was strong enough, I had a 9 hour operation to put my pelvis and left femur back together again but before that I almost died from, of all things, being constipated! I didn't actually know I was constipated, as I was just existing really and wasn't aware enough of my situation to think about when I had last been to the toilet. I was on so much Morphine I drifted in and out of a semiconscious state for the most part. Through that haze though, I knew I felt sick but I couldn't have been prepared for what happened. Nor could the poor student Nurse who was stood nearby but had dropped whatever she was doing to heave me onto my side. The first time I vomited I was flat on my back and despite the force it left me with, gravity threw it back in my face. This young girl found the strength to roll me on my side (facing her) just in time for a second, more forceful stream of vomit to cover me, my bed and the poor girls hands and arms in what looked like thick gravy. In fact my digestive system was so backed up with faecal matter that it had to come out somewhere. I'm not sure how many times I vomited that foul stinking stuff, but each time felt more forceful than the last and this stuff was everywhere. It was awful.

Time rolled along and eventually, once free from the scaffolding, I began a routine of daily physio etc. I had already been warned about the extensive nerve damage done and the possibility that I may not walk again. I just don't think I took that news in though? The medical staff told me what to do and I did it. I can't say I really considered what life would be like without walking but I do recall thinking I'd be OK so long as I could still press a clutch pedal down! It was as much as 9 or 10 months before the potential consequences began to affect me. It was a Wednesday morning I think? I simply started crying. Even now, just thinking about how I felt at that exact moment, brings tears to my eyes. I felt incredibly sad, lonely, anxious and yet I didn't know why? It seems obvious with hindsight but I was eventually diagnosed with PTSD. I guess I just didn't understand or appreciate just how hard the recent events had been to cope with and I was having to adjust to living with disability. In truth, I have been incredibly lucky and have been able to walk again. I still have a pronounced weakness in my left leg and the circulation is pretty poor. I did suffer 'drop foot' (inability to lift front part of foot due to muscle loss / weakness) from being bedridden for so long but am about 85% recovered now. I went through some medieval torture techniques in learning to walk again. There was also standing up for the first time in 10 months and how weird that felt but removal of the halo traction only to discover my neck no longer had the muscles to keep my head up! I had to literally hold my head with my hands to turn or stay upright. Nowadays though, whilst I can't run marathons, I can walk enough to go shopping etc with the aid of a stick. I still have a wheelchair, although I hate using it, but it makes days out with the Mrs easier. She hates it if we go into lifts or confined spaces with other people and I beg her not to hit me though! She just doesn't find it funny.

So, after all that waffle, the point of my posting this thread is my weight. I was 6' 2'' and 17 stone for years. I could eat what I liked, as much as I liked and my weight would stay the same. Nowadays though, I am just way heavier than I want to be and it's making me unhappy. It is also having a negative effect on my health and the circulation in my legs (or lack of it) has meant I am susceptible to leg ulcers. I'm unsure of my exact weight but hazard a guess at it being around 25 or 26 stone? I'm going to go to the local GP surgery and use their scales later so will update then. I know my diet isn't great, although I don't eat crisps or drink fizzy drinks etc. I don't drink alcohol and gave up smoking years ago, which may be another factor re the weight gain? I do like a bit of cake though and portion control could probably use some work! I did go to slimming world for a week or 2 but I live in a village and I was the only bloke there! It was too much like Fat Fighters and Matt Lucas! So, I figured that if I did a daily food diary type thing here on Dads Net (as my Mrs refers to it) it might help me remain motivated? It has to be worth a try anyway. I did lose a stone with Fat Fighters but it was like throwing a deckchair off the Titanic!

Well I figured new week, new start and Monday went like this....

Porridge. (half a bowl)
Ham salad
2 x bananas
1 x satsuma
1x apple
Tuna steak, baked spud and salad
3 x jaffa cakes
2 x tunnock wafers
3 x coffee (white with 1 sugar)
1 x hot chocolate

I'm not measuring every ingredient but I do plan to stop the sugar in coffee. I did take 2 but figured a gradual reduction is best. I used sweetener in the porridge and use semi skimmed milk. I enjoy my food and don't want to ban anything from my diet, but I do want to eat sensibly.

So there we go. Hopefully this will be the start of a slimmer me?!

Mark


e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Tuesday 10th July 2018
quotequote all
norush said:
Wow, not sure what to say apart from good luck chap.
Thanks.

I hadn't intended writing War & Peace but figured a bit of insight might explain my motives? I know I always used to think that being fat was down to being greedy, lazy or both.

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Tuesday 10th July 2018
quotequote all
Thanks chaps. Yes, I'm hoping this might provide a bit more incentive and motivation to keep me focussed.

This was from the scales at the surgery. The ones in the nurses room said I was 3 Kgs heavier but I'll continue with these.



This was the accident.



Edited by e30m3Mark on Tuesday 10th July 16:49

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Tuesday 10th July 2018
quotequote all
Well day 2 and still motivated. In fact, I dusted off the rowing machine that's been in the cupboard since I bought it a year ago. Am going to start with 10 minute sessions whenever I have time / the mood takes me.

Today my meals were as follows.

Bowl shreddies with sweetener and semi skimmed.
2 x apples
2 x tunnock wafers
Chicken breast, baked spud and salad.
Strawberries, half fat creme freche and merangue
1 x hot chocolate
3 x coffee
1 x tea

I'm well aware it's only been a couple of days but I do feel like posting here is a help. I don't think I realised just how unhappy I am with my weight and it's a problem I want to address for several reasons.

1. Health
2. Appearance
3. I want to be able to buy some jeans that actually fit.
4. Self esteem
5. Fitting comfortably into the race seat in my car.

I'm sure there are other reasons but they're the main ones.

Is there anything else I can do to promote weight loss?

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Wednesday 11th July 2018
quotequote all
I'm going to stop taking sugar in tea / coffee from tomorrow but I thought fruit was fructose, fibre etc and a good thing?

Am also happy to modify my diet as I progress but I don't want to be limited to bland foods.

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Wednesday 11th July 2018
quotequote all
Thanks for that. Much appreciated.

I figured that by keeping a diary of my food intake I would have a better idea of just what amount of calories I've been consuming. I've definitely been eating less (than I usually would) over the past few days, whilst increasing the exercise. I can't walk a long distance but I can still push myself more than I have been.

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Wednesday 11th July 2018
quotequote all
Thank you.

I feel like I just don't know what I can eat and what I can't? Dust?

Is there anywhere I can get a suggested weekly meal plan that will a) taste good b) not just be sugar in disguise and c) fill me up? smile

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
quotequote all
Thanks chaps. Plenty of changes to make! smile

I'll make more of an effort to reduce the sugar intake and swap to scrambled eggs for breakfast tomorrow. (I've already made the porridge!)

Edited by e30m3Mark on Thursday 12th July 06:25

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
quotequote all
Yesterdays food.

Porridge
Chicken soup
2 x apples
Chicken curry & pilau rice
2 x individual yogurts
3 x rice cakes

I intend going shopping today and was going to start having scrambled eggs in the mornings. I was thinking of having a rasher of bacon, with all the rind removed, but does that negate the benefit of having the eggs?

I probably sound like a bit of an idiot but everything I thought I was doing right appears to be anything but. smile I have thought about going back to fat fighters but work gets in the way and I just can't commit. I really do want this to be the start of my getting back to a healthy size, shape and weight though. I can't wait to be able to just buy a pair of jeans without having to be limited to the sort of stuff on Jacamo. I know it's only been a few days but I still feel motivated and keen to do what's needed.

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
quotequote all
RTB said:
e30m3Mark said:
I was thinking of having a rasher of bacon, with all the rind removed, but does that negate the benefit of having the eggs?
Have a rasher of bacon if you want. You've got 2500 calories to spend, treat it like a budget. You can only spend it once. If you've eaten your budget by lunch time, tough st you'll have a miserable evening until the next days breakfast.

You need to be accurate with the counting though.

Cool, thanks.

Do you think that calorie counting to a daily 2500 limit is the easiest way to go for now?

I'm guessing there's most likely an ap' I can use to help me keep tabs? smile

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
quotequote all
Thanks, I think that's what I'll do for the first few weeks.

I've stopped taking sugar in tea and coffee and will try to do away with obvious sweet stuff. My mobility isn't great but I'm trying to increase my exercise by using the rowing machine.

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
quotequote all
Thank you for that.

Well today should be well under 2500 calories.

Porridge (semi skimmed & sweetener) 291 calories
Salad 130
Fish cakes & salad 670
Yogurt 442
3 x coffee 60
1 x banana 105

Total for today = 1698

Tomorrow I intend actually making some fresh veg' soup etc. With regard to my daily calorie intake, I'm mindful of my limited mobility compared to someone without a disability. (I hate that label) so am going to set a limit of 2200. I'm also going to try and drink less milk and having porridge as an occasional breakfast should help with that. I'm also going to limit myself to 2 morning coffees and switch to water from then on. smile

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
quotequote all
I'll have a yogurt and a rice cake to bump it up a little. smile

I do like porridge!

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Friday 13th July 2018
quotequote all
Thanks. I have felt a bit of a headache for the past couple of days but not so bad as to have me throw in the towel. I'm still properly motivated, which is a bonus as it usually gets replaced with 'screw it' by now. smile

I had 3 eggs scrambled and a couple of bits of lean bacon for breakfast. It wasn't as satisfying as my usual porridge but it still saw me through till lunch.

The biggest test for me is Friday and Saturday nights, where I drive a private hire minibus from 7pm till 5am or thereabouts. It's hard to resist snacking but I have a few carrots and apples for tonight. Any better snack suggestions? Are cereal bars as bad as I imagine they are?

Just a word of thanks to those of you who have taken a minute to respond. It helps. smile

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Saturday 14th July 2018
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Yesterdays food intake.

3 x scrambled egg and 2 pieces of lean bacon 350 calories
1 x lean burger, whole meal bun and salad 375
Beans on 2 slices wholemeal toast 291
1 x yogurt 179
2 x apples 190
1 x banana 89
2 x low fat pop corn 250
2 x rice cakes 320
3 x coffee 45

total 2 089

I'm going to try and not eat bread but yesterday was down to convenience and poor meal planning on my part. It's funny how quickly you can get used to not having sugar in teas and coffees though and that feels like a definite step in the right direction. smile



Edited by e30m3Mark on Saturday 14th July 11:30

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Monday 16th July 2018
quotequote all
Thanks.

I'm trying to get better with the sugar.

Yesterday I was a bit all over the place as have been on nights and they always mess with me.

Eggs / bacon 370
flat bread, ham and tomato 310
Roast beef dinner 670
Yogurts x 2 330
Chicken sandwich 332

total 2 012

I've stopped with sugar in coffee etc and will try and drop the sweet snack stuff this coming week. Going to weigh myself today and see if I have lost anything?

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Monday 16th July 2018
quotequote all
Sorry to disappoint.

15 calories I should have added.

Weighed myself today and I've put on a pound or so.



Initially a little downhearted but a) it's only been a week and b) I was wearing jeans this time, as opposed to shorts, so am probably much the same as I was. Either way, I'm going to continue trying to improve my diet and lose weight.

Am thinking of trying cycling. Just unsure if a regular mountain bike could take the strain?

ETA

Maybe the added weight is from the half inch or so I appear to have grown? smile

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Monday 16th July 2018
quotequote all
Thanks. Am off to shops soon and will take a look.

Just bought a second hand mountain bike in an effort to up the exercise. smile

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Monday 16th July 2018
quotequote all
I don't eat crisps or drink cans of coke but clearly my diet hasn't been great. I do like my puddings though, such as CoOp sticky toffee pudding which is hard to beat with fresh clotted cream.

I know my portions are on the large side too but it's going to take time to make so many changes I guess. Especially when even the stuff I thought was healthy turns out to be Tate & Lyle in disguise!

I find walking hard. It would be easier to go back to a wheelchair if I'm honest but it's not always about doing what's easy is it? Hopefully the cycling will help me burn some more calories.

e30m3Mark

Original Poster:

16,360 posts

179 months

Monday 16th July 2018
quotequote all
Mondays food.

Porridge 291
3 x scrambled eggs, ham & a tomato 359
Chicken thigh, tomatoes, onion, rice & peas 448
Strawberries & creme fresche 75
1 x Nakd bar 145
3 x coffee 60

Total 1 378

I think the count for the chicken thighs, veg etc is a bit low but my total needs to be a bit higher. I'll aim to do better tomorrow.