How ghastly is a vasectomy?
Discussion
Cfnteabag said:
That and handing a pot of recently shot sperm to the same lab assistant twice was a bit weird!
I might have told this before but me and SWMBO had arrranged to produce my sample with her “help” but the night before I was due to give a sample me and the Wife had a big arguement and I was left to do the work myself.The next evening we were friends again and she rembered my task and asked if I’d remembered.
I told her I had and she looked at me, shook her head and said
“You sad lonely w
ker”Never a truer thing said.
marksx said:
I do wonder why they question it. I'm 34 and two kids and they asked 'are you really sure?'
It's not like the country is short of people!
About 300 people a year have it reversed with varying degrees of success (and it costs a bit as not done on the NHS) so I think it's fair they ask. It's also one of those subjects people don't like to talk about so having a professional to ask any questions of is a good thing imho. The alternative is you google it. Don't ever google it. Not until after anyway...It's not like the country is short of people!
wiggy001 said:
About 300 people a year have it reversed with varying degrees of success (and it costs a bit as not done on the NHS) so I think it's fair they ask. It's also one of those subjects people don't like to talk about so having a professional to ask any questions of is a good thing imho. The alternative is you google it. Don't ever google it. Not until after anyway...
Never Google anything to do with medical problems. Im pretty sure if I Googled vasectomy it would recommend me to have my pecker removed. Chuffedmonkey said:
wiggy001 said:
About 300 people a year have it reversed with varying degrees of success (and it costs a bit as not done on the NHS) so I think it's fair they ask. It's also one of those subjects people don't like to talk about so having a professional to ask any questions of is a good thing imho. The alternative is you google it. Don't ever google it. Not until after anyway...
Never Google anything to do with medical problems. Im pretty sure if I Googled vasectomy it would recommend me to have my pecker removed. I thought they’d snip the sack and whip it out... that would be a no.
They make an incision in your groin around your bladder and bring it up like a bloody anchor
TwigtheWonderkid said:
If you have to have a testicle removed, you can have a polypropylene one inserted to even up the weight and for aesthetic purposes. But not on the NHS, you have to buy it privately. They're £200 each...or 3 for £500.
I’ve researched this and decided I’d either go with just having one nut, or have them both removed and get them replaced with metal, so I clank as I walk along the corridor at work 
TwigtheWonderkid said:
If you have to have a testicle removed, you can have a polypropylene one inserted to even up the weight and for aesthetic purposes. But not on the NHS, you have to buy it privately. They're £200 each...or 3 for £500.
And to size the proposed replacement, you use an Orchidometer.Google it, if you don't believe me. I've seen one
wiggy001 said:
Non-scalpel vasectomy is described at a high level here: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/vasect...
Someone on this thread must've mentioned the smell, which is a cross between burnt bacon and the dentists when he's got the drill out...
Quite the distinctive aroma from that technique, definitely something porky about it.Someone on this thread must've mentioned the smell, which is a cross between burnt bacon and the dentists when he's got the drill out...
My only regret is that I didnt have it done 20 years earlier, it would have saved a lot of worrying.
wiliferus said:
As I mentioned above... I’m contemplating having a testicle removed. I looked the procedure up on You Tube. BIG mistake.
I thought they’d snip the sack and whip it out... that would be a no.
They make an incision in your groin around your bladder and bring it up like a bloody anchor
I've had that done twice. It's a doddle. Vasectomy sounds far worse from the stories on here.I thought they’d snip the sack and whip it out... that would be a no.
They make an incision in your groin around your bladder and bring it up like a bloody anchor
Vandenberg said:
wiggy001 said:
Non-scalpel vasectomy is described at a high level here: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/vasect...
Someone on this thread must've mentioned the smell, which is a cross between burnt bacon and the dentists when he's got the drill out...
Quite the distinctive aroma from that technique, definitely something porky about it.Someone on this thread must've mentioned the smell, which is a cross between burnt bacon and the dentists when he's got the drill out...
My only regret is that I didnt have it done 20 years earlier, it would have saved a lot of worrying.
Thinking about getting the snip next year as a 30th birthday present to myself. The risks seem small enough to not worry too much about them, although the tubes potentially growing back together doesn't appeal. w
k into a cup every 5 years or so to be sure?wiggy001 said:
wiggy001 said:
Had mine done 9.20 this morning, was back in the car heading home at 9.40 (wife driving, not me!).
Injecting the anesthetic stings a bit (no worse than any other injection/blood test really but seems worse because of where it is). What did sting a bit was when the doc started and quickly realised the anesthetic hadn't taken! I nearly shot through the wall! Needed 3 jabs in the end.
Laid on the bed when I got home and for the first couple of hours it felt like I'd just been caught in the knackers by a football. It's now 6 hours after getting home and it just feels pretty tender, especially after walking to the kitchen for a cuppa. Perfect excuse to be waited on and watch box sets!
As already mentioned, it really is the thought that is worse than the actual op.
So after a weekend with my feet up, 3 days working and home and yesterday and today in the office, I currently feel like I was kicked in the nuts about 5 minutes ago. Constantly. Which is slightly better than yesterday so going in the right direction.Injecting the anesthetic stings a bit (no worse than any other injection/blood test really but seems worse because of where it is). What did sting a bit was when the doc started and quickly realised the anesthetic hadn't taken! I nearly shot through the wall! Needed 3 jabs in the end.
Laid on the bed when I got home and for the first couple of hours it felt like I'd just been caught in the knackers by a football. It's now 6 hours after getting home and it just feels pretty tender, especially after walking to the kitchen for a cuppa. Perfect excuse to be waited on and watch box sets!
As already mentioned, it really is the thought that is worse than the actual op.
I think I might be binge-watching another boxset this weekend... well, there's got to be some immediate perks from having this done!
I spent last week completely resting, regular Nurofen and feet up. Went back to work on monday and have felt fine since. Get a slight occasional twinge when walking or coughing but nothing to be bothered about.
So in summary, the procedure itself is no worse than having a filling and if you rest properly after and don't try to be a hero and go back to work too soon, the op is forgotten after a week.
I feel the need to share as if I'm in group therapy.
Although my "procedure" is long gone earlier in the year, here's my experience.
-So I bravely strode in to the urology department of my local NHS hospital, after a false start from the previous attempt when the surgeon's car wouldn't start and he cancelled his list. I wasn't too worried, I'd had faultless care when I had a chunk of flesh on my arm removed that housed two moles that the dermatologist didn't like the look of. My wife slapped me on the back then fked off to the local trampoline centre (of all places) with my son.
After 38 versions of apparently the same form being filled in, I got into the gown and hideous paper knickers when prompted and was walked down to theatre. Should I have shaved my balls before the procedure? No one really gave a straight answer but I had done it anyway, it seemed like a fitting ritual somehow.
An anaesthetist or nurse (can't remember which) stood by my head and engaged me in conversation in friendly way that somehow started to unsettle me. I noticed that he seemed to have the build of a rugby prop. Was his physical size and strength a feature in his suitability for the role?
The anaesthetic went in. No worries and in some ways a comforting pain. As the surgeon busied himself I was chatting away about sea fishing to the prop-forward, feeling a vague but not unbearable sort of "testicles gently squeezed in a vice" feeling, before... "TWANG!" -a sudden and very vivid sensation of a stretched tube being cut by a pair of scissors -which I assumed was exactly what had just happened to my left jizz pipe. I don't know how far I shot towards the ceiling -maybe it was only a foot or so before my upwards travel was arrested by rugby player man, but it was immediately clear that a teensy bit more local was needed. Knowing what was possibly coming up next for bk numero two the atmosphere became somewhat more tense and light chit chat around the noble art of angling for local sea bass kind of dried up. At the time I think I was trying to focus on the positives, like being able to inform Israeli authorities that I'd located Joseph Mengele. Rugby player man was also poised to keep me on the table if the same thing happened again.
Thankfully it didn't and I was told "all done". The next step was some kind of magic spray-on dressing which provided a flexible barrier to infection to help the little wounds heal. This was fine although felt like I was dipping my ball sack in a hot cup of tea. I then carefully dismounted the table and groggily tried to stagger into my paper knickers again, leaning on rugby player man, any sense of dignity long gone.
On the way back to the "recovery area" (which was the urology public waiting room) I was told to take it easy because some people faint at this stage. I sat down, had some buttered toast put in front of me and a cup of tea and was left.
Then I did start to feel faint. As an ex-nurse I knew that what I needed was to lie down and elevate my feet. But I couldn't do that in a flimsy dressing gown and paper knickers in front of the old couple across from me, who had already taken umbrage at my preferential treatment in terms of tea and toast. So I rang my wife and asked her in my best calm, manly voice to "come and get me now please as soon as you can please, -please? Please?" Thankfully she did and after proving to a nurse that I could take a piss -without said piss squirting out of anywhere but my dick-hole, I got changed and waddled to the car. The 40 minute journey home took a lifetime and whilst my wife tried to avoid potholes we still found a fair few. I ended up holding myself above the seat in a kind of low hover. Eventually we got home and I fell into bed with the strongest pain killers we could find.
I could talk about the first trepidatious post-op-wk or how I chose to check my own jizz for the zero-tadpoles all-clear (rather than provide a sample back to the hospital) with my trusty microscope but that's another story.
To be fair the recovery was really straight-forward, no issues, and the sex is now great without the guilt of leaning on my wife for contraception duties. I'm glad I did it, just didn't enjoy the journey particularly...
Although my "procedure" is long gone earlier in the year, here's my experience.
-So I bravely strode in to the urology department of my local NHS hospital, after a false start from the previous attempt when the surgeon's car wouldn't start and he cancelled his list. I wasn't too worried, I'd had faultless care when I had a chunk of flesh on my arm removed that housed two moles that the dermatologist didn't like the look of. My wife slapped me on the back then f
ked off to the local trampoline centre (of all places) with my son.After 38 versions of apparently the same form being filled in, I got into the gown and hideous paper knickers when prompted and was walked down to theatre. Should I have shaved my balls before the procedure? No one really gave a straight answer but I had done it anyway, it seemed like a fitting ritual somehow.
An anaesthetist or nurse (can't remember which) stood by my head and engaged me in conversation in friendly way that somehow started to unsettle me. I noticed that he seemed to have the build of a rugby prop. Was his physical size and strength a feature in his suitability for the role?
The anaesthetic went in. No worries and in some ways a comforting pain. As the surgeon busied himself I was chatting away about sea fishing to the prop-forward, feeling a vague but not unbearable sort of "testicles gently squeezed in a vice" feeling, before... "TWANG!" -a sudden and very vivid sensation of a stretched tube being cut by a pair of scissors -which I assumed was exactly what had just happened to my left jizz pipe. I don't know how far I shot towards the ceiling -maybe it was only a foot or so before my upwards travel was arrested by rugby player man, but it was immediately clear that a teensy bit more local was needed. Knowing what was possibly coming up next for b
k numero two the atmosphere became somewhat more tense and light chit chat around the noble art of angling for local sea bass kind of dried up. At the time I think I was trying to focus on the positives, like being able to inform Israeli authorities that I'd located Joseph Mengele. Rugby player man was also poised to keep me on the table if the same thing happened again. Thankfully it didn't and I was told "all done". The next step was some kind of magic spray-on dressing which provided a flexible barrier to infection to help the little wounds heal. This was fine although felt like I was dipping my ball sack in a hot cup of tea. I then carefully dismounted the table and groggily tried to stagger into my paper knickers again, leaning on rugby player man, any sense of dignity long gone.
On the way back to the "recovery area" (which was the urology public waiting room) I was told to take it easy because some people faint at this stage. I sat down, had some buttered toast put in front of me and a cup of tea and was left.
Then I did start to feel faint. As an ex-nurse I knew that what I needed was to lie down and elevate my feet. But I couldn't do that in a flimsy dressing gown and paper knickers in front of the old couple across from me, who had already taken umbrage at my preferential treatment in terms of tea and toast. So I rang my wife and asked her in my best calm, manly voice to "come and get me now please as soon as you can please, -please? Please?" Thankfully she did and after proving to a nurse that I could take a piss -without said piss squirting out of anywhere but my dick-hole, I got changed and waddled to the car. The 40 minute journey home took a lifetime and whilst my wife tried to avoid potholes we still found a fair few. I ended up holding myself above the seat in a kind of low hover. Eventually we got home and I fell into bed with the strongest pain killers we could find.
I could talk about the first trepidatious post-op-w
k or how I chose to check my own jizz for the zero-tadpoles all-clear (rather than provide a sample back to the hospital) with my trusty microscope but that's another story. To be fair the recovery was really straight-forward, no issues, and the sex is now great without the guilt of leaning on my wife for contraception duties. I'm glad I did it, just didn't enjoy the journey particularly...
Crikey that was quick. I only seen the doctor Tuesday and she accepted my reasons and referred me. Today 3 days later the Surgery called saying we can see you a week before Christmas. Slightly taken back by the speed of all this, I asked if this a consultation and she said no the Doctor will have a 10 minute chat then proceed with surgery and it will only take 30 mins.
I had to politely decline this speedy Castration service as I wouldnt be able to take any more holiday in December as I have none left but did say my Holiday resets in January. My journey to becoming a Jaffa could have been done in 6 weeks but now I get to keep my sperm for another month.
I had to politely decline this speedy Castration service as I wouldnt be able to take any more holiday in December as I have none left but did say my Holiday resets in January. My journey to becoming a Jaffa could have been done in 6 weeks but now I get to keep my sperm for another month.
This may become a reality for me.
I’m 35 and have two lovely children. But the thought of more horrifies me!
The strange part about my journey to being a Jaffa is that 5 years ago I was told I wasn’t exactly fully firing. And that we’d struggle to conceive. Which we did, so ended up IVF route for our first. That was a horrific ordeal where dignity is gone and many many many wks into cups later we have a perfect daughter.
Around 1 year after the birth of our daughter, and not using contraception, as why bother when I’m practically a Jaffa and the wife also had issues and we had to have IVF, the wife ends up pregnant. A very happy mistake.
But now we have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old. I adore them both. But two is enough. (Ironically we have two embryos in the freezer at the local IVF place still, we just can’t part with them).
So I/we feel the right thing to do is have the snip. Even after all that! Feels almost wrong after all we went through to have children, all the heart ache, the years of negative tests month on month.
So I’m perplexed!!!
But I/we think it needs to be done.
However I have a very low pain threshold. But I managed laser eye surgery. Ha.
I’m 35 and have two lovely children. But the thought of more horrifies me!
The strange part about my journey to being a Jaffa is that 5 years ago I was told I wasn’t exactly fully firing. And that we’d struggle to conceive. Which we did, so ended up IVF route for our first. That was a horrific ordeal where dignity is gone and many many many w
ks into cups later we have a perfect daughter. Around 1 year after the birth of our daughter, and not using contraception, as why bother when I’m practically a Jaffa and the wife also had issues and we had to have IVF, the wife ends up pregnant. A very happy mistake.
But now we have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old. I adore them both. But two is enough. (Ironically we have two embryos in the freezer at the local IVF place still, we just can’t part with them).
So I/we feel the right thing to do is have the snip. Even after all that! Feels almost wrong after all we went through to have children, all the heart ache, the years of negative tests month on month.
So I’m perplexed!!!
But I/we think it needs to be done.
However I have a very low pain threshold. But I managed laser eye surgery. Ha.
Edited by joestifff on Friday 9th November 20:31
If you and your partner are adamant 2 children is all you want then as the doctor said to me there are options. I have 2 kids and neither of us want anymore so I am getting it done for that reason.
The Doctor tried to talk me out of it, she suggested there are easier options for the women like a coil or an implant that last a few years, basically its not permanent. She even said because I am under 40 think about the future and if me and my partner split up, Would I want kids in the future with a different woman. I just told her no I dont want anymore kids and I also dont plan on splitting up either.
I would think at my age now I honestly wouldn't even think about family planning with a different women If me and the misses split.
The Doctor tried to talk me out of it, she suggested there are easier options for the women like a coil or an implant that last a few years, basically its not permanent. She even said because I am under 40 think about the future and if me and my partner split up, Would I want kids in the future with a different woman. I just told her no I dont want anymore kids and I also dont plan on splitting up either.
I would think at my age now I honestly wouldn't even think about family planning with a different women If me and the misses split.
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