Quitting Drinking...
Discussion
.At the level of intake you mention, you'd do well to check whether you are 'Alcohol Dependent' - different from Alcoholism and quite a misunderstood condition by all accounts. A friend of mine discovered she was AD only after she received professional support following a traumatic relationship/divorce. Up until that point, she just thought she simply drunk a bit more than was ideal.
She was told that suffering from AD is not necessarily a pre-cursor to alcoholism but the road to it can be very short. She went into some programme and quickly came off the booze and now drinks hardly a thing and when she does, little more than a glass of wine.
If you're not at that level and simply drink a lot, then it really is a simple case of simply not drinking. Don't have anything in the house and only go to the pub once a week. If you find yourself walking up walls by day two, then you need to revisit the AD option.
She was told that suffering from AD is not necessarily a pre-cursor to alcoholism but the road to it can be very short. She went into some programme and quickly came off the booze and now drinks hardly a thing and when she does, little more than a glass of wine.
If you're not at that level and simply drink a lot, then it really is a simple case of simply not drinking. Don't have anything in the house and only go to the pub once a week. If you find yourself walking up walls by day two, then you need to revisit the AD option.
When I say 80% of my income goes on drink, what I really mean is it generally goes in large chunks, on giant smash ups at the weekend, and I'm factoring in associated costs like taxi fares etc. I don't blow £20 a night on booze or anything like that, just to clear things up a bit!
I am concerned that I may be close to encoraching on the territory mentioned above. I'm not quite there, as I know I don't NEED booze, but I also know that I am perhaps overly partial to it. If that makes sense.
I am concerned that I may be close to encoraching on the territory mentioned above. I'm not quite there, as I know I don't NEED booze, but I also know that I am perhaps overly partial to it. If that makes sense.
Edited by CrabDan on Saturday 8th December 14:53
You can still live fast and die old - unless you really, really drink heavily but that does take some doing. And even then, you don't die like you do in a computer game. You'll get a few months to a year of physical suffering. You could still end up in a care home, too.
Suicide is the only answer.
Suicide is the only answer.
I mean, if you get seriously fat from drinking but don't destroy your liver George Best style, then you'll increase the chances of ending up with type 2 diabetes (can result in loss of eyesight and limbs), stroke, heart disease, dementia and cancer. These things don't necessarily kill you but make your final years quite s
t, whether it's through numerous operations, taking drugs with various side effects or just being in a constant state of fear and confusion.
Of course, this stuff is also hereditary but why increase the chances of you getting it?
PS Yes, I do drink.
t, whether it's through numerous operations, taking drugs with various side effects or just being in a constant state of fear and confusion.Of course, this stuff is also hereditary but why increase the chances of you getting it?
PS Yes, I do drink.
Last weekend I went out for quite a few drinks 2 days in a row. I was feked for at least 2 days after and told myself that I was not going to drink for a while even with Christmas looming.
Monday I was at home and fine but on the Tuesday I went on a 3 day job with a crew who, when finished for the day and gets to whichever hotel, it's dump bags, quick wash and meet in the bar followed by dinner with more drink.
The first day, the Tuesday night, I declined any alcohol and just drank tomato juice, water and a coke and went to bed straight after dinner as they were off to the bar again. I was treated like a leper and it was pretty much made clear that if I wanted more work I would have to 'play the game' and drink and be social.
The Wednesday night I drank.
The problem is with the attitude to drink in the UK. It is intertwined with all social and work situations. I could stop drinking but I would no longer go out or get a lot of work. I do admire those that do not drink yet still go out and party.
My ex wife is a functioning alcoholic mainly due to her early single days as a ladette and then her business which seems to involve a lot of meetings in private clubs, restaurants and bars. In these situations you just will not be considered someone to do business with if you are teetotal.
If I lived on my own in some remote village I could give up and just enjoy walks in the countryside during the day and read a good book before turning in early, or drink myself to death.
Good luck OP.
Monday I was at home and fine but on the Tuesday I went on a 3 day job with a crew who, when finished for the day and gets to whichever hotel, it's dump bags, quick wash and meet in the bar followed by dinner with more drink.
The first day, the Tuesday night, I declined any alcohol and just drank tomato juice, water and a coke and went to bed straight after dinner as they were off to the bar again. I was treated like a leper and it was pretty much made clear that if I wanted more work I would have to 'play the game' and drink and be social.
The Wednesday night I drank.
The problem is with the attitude to drink in the UK. It is intertwined with all social and work situations. I could stop drinking but I would no longer go out or get a lot of work. I do admire those that do not drink yet still go out and party.
My ex wife is a functioning alcoholic mainly due to her early single days as a ladette and then her business which seems to involve a lot of meetings in private clubs, restaurants and bars. In these situations you just will not be considered someone to do business with if you are teetotal.
If I lived on my own in some remote village I could give up and just enjoy walks in the countryside during the day and read a good book before turning in early, or drink myself to death.
Good luck OP.
I went dry for November as I really wanted to push on with diet and exercise. I don't drink all that often, never through the week, when I know mates who'll have half a doze cans of wife beater without thinking about it just never occurs to me to drink.
When I do drink I'm the classic binge drinker, I don't get huge killer hangover but they're getting worse with age. The main thing I don't like about drinking is I crave junk the next day. We had friends around on Friday night for dinner, I saw off a few bottles of wine and felt Ok-ish the next day but ate a load of leftovers, then a trip to McDonalds. Did not feel the slightest bit arsed to do any exercise and would have probably been counter-productive even if I did.
Even at the age of 30 I find it almost impossible to moderate my alcohol intake. I don't think I'd want to give up drink all together, minus Christmas I probably on average only have a drink once or twice a month.
When I do drink I'm the classic binge drinker, I don't get huge killer hangover but they're getting worse with age. The main thing I don't like about drinking is I crave junk the next day. We had friends around on Friday night for dinner, I saw off a few bottles of wine and felt Ok-ish the next day but ate a load of leftovers, then a trip to McDonalds. Did not feel the slightest bit arsed to do any exercise and would have probably been counter-productive even if I did.
Even at the age of 30 I find it almost impossible to moderate my alcohol intake. I don't think I'd want to give up drink all together, minus Christmas I probably on average only have a drink once or twice a month.
Like many posters, i drank my way through uni, then started to cut back once i entered working life. But then, it crept back up on me, i was working shifts and treating my days off (4 at a time), as the weekend, and drinking upto 6 cans of Stella a night, plus a load if i went out with friends etc.
As time goes on, you get older, hangovers get worse, the love handles start expanding etc etc, and i made the decision to quit for the month of January a few years ago. I saw an immediate benefit, not only in my health, weight and body shape, but also my wallet.
So now, at the ripe old age of 35, i quit alcohol for the whole month of January every year, and limit myself to alcohol 1 day/night per week for the rest of the year. Sometimes, i don't drink for weeks on end, other times it might be a couple of cans in the house when i've finished my working week.
I know people my age who still go out and get wasted like they were 21, and often think to myself they need to grow up a bit.
As time goes on, you get older, hangovers get worse, the love handles start expanding etc etc, and i made the decision to quit for the month of January a few years ago. I saw an immediate benefit, not only in my health, weight and body shape, but also my wallet.
So now, at the ripe old age of 35, i quit alcohol for the whole month of January every year, and limit myself to alcohol 1 day/night per week for the rest of the year. Sometimes, i don't drink for weeks on end, other times it might be a couple of cans in the house when i've finished my working week.
I know people my age who still go out and get wasted like they were 21, and often think to myself they need to grow up a bit.
AndyT77 said:
and often think to myself they need to grow up a bit.
You were doing so well. Right up to the bit where you climbed onto the oldest horse known to man. 
OP- give it up if you want. It is entirely your decision and it is easy enough to do*. Whether your life is better with or without it depends on what you choose to do instead. If you just stop and sit around moping or, worse, start preaching to your soon-to-be-ex mates about growing up, then you would be better off back on the booze.
- as long as you aren't knocking back bottles a day now. If you are, get proper advice before stopping.
CrabDan said:
So, I've decided that next year I want to stop drinking:
It's what I spend most of my money on (I would say 80% of my income is disposable and most of that goes on booze).
It's stopping me from being as lean and as fit as I want to be.
I think perhaps I like it a bit too much.
And excessive casual drinking is what killed my Granddad, and I'm worried I'm turning in to him.
So, my question to you is, how do you do it? In theory it should be as simple as "Don't buy any booze" but I know for a fact that without alcohol my whole life, and especially my social life, will be completely different. Any tips from anyone who's been there?
My first question would be what do you mean by stop? If you're worried about the cash, then consider that as you get older, your tastes will change and generally, going out on the lash in a massive way will appeal less. This would then cut your intake and spending. As others have said, life is for living.It's what I spend most of my money on (I would say 80% of my income is disposable and most of that goes on booze).
It's stopping me from being as lean and as fit as I want to be.
I think perhaps I like it a bit too much.
And excessive casual drinking is what killed my Granddad, and I'm worried I'm turning in to him.
So, my question to you is, how do you do it? In theory it should be as simple as "Don't buy any booze" but I know for a fact that without alcohol my whole life, and especially my social life, will be completely different. Any tips from anyone who's been there?
On the other hand, whilst sliding sideways into your grave on fire and screaming is fine in theory, if what you actually mean is you want to totally stop for health and quality of life reasons then I would suggest getting over to the Quit drinking for 365 days thread. It was instrumental in getting me to quit and has some good and interesting points (and some terrible waffle from some guy called Smitters).
What I would say is if you want to quit completely, then you've got to pick your battles. Just before Christmas is going to be pretty tough and if you lapse, you'll end up beating yourself up about your lack of willpower when in fact it's just a tough time to go cold turkey. However, if you set achievable targets, like two weeks/a month and see how you go, you'll get an idea of what it's like.
There's two philosophies on change too - try and attempt too much and you'll fail at some element and feel bad, which might lead to total failure, and go all out. If the physical bit - lean and fit - is a big deal for you, then why not do a three part change for a month - quit the booze, eat mega-healthily and do some more exercise, or something new physically. The three hits in one will make a dramatic change visible in a short time, which may provide motivation.
Finally, on the social side, when I quit, I deliberately went out with mates. Sure, sometimes you feel a bit odd on the coke, or lime and soda or whatever, but you've got to focus on the bigger picture. If you plan a bike ride or a run the next morning, while your mates are still sweating that last sambuca out in bed you can be tearing round the local trails. The feelgood factor of getting the night out and the morning out the next day is immense.
Hoofy said:
I mean, if you get seriously fat from drinking but don't destroy your liver George Best style, then you'll increase the chances of ending up with type 2 diabetes (can result in loss of eyesight and limbs), stroke, heart disease, dementia and cancer. These things don't necessarily kill you but make your final years quite st, whether it's through numerous operations, taking drugs with various side effects or just being in a constant state of fear and confusion.
Of course, this stuff is also hereditary but why increase the chances of you getting it?
PS Yes, I do drink.
I have a mate who drinks 2 bottles of red wine each and every day, sometimes more at weekends, and has done so for around the 8 years I've known him. He's not overweight, is married, holds down a responsible job, and has completed several extensive car-restorations in his spare time to very high standards. Trying to advise to cut down does no good, in fact it makes him worse. If a drinker doesn't want to stop drinking then he / she won't. t, whether it's through numerous operations, taking drugs with various side effects or just being in a constant state of fear and confusion.Of course, this stuff is also hereditary but why increase the chances of you getting it?
PS Yes, I do drink.
That's maybe 800 bottles of wine by one person in a year, or 1066 litres / or 235 gallons of the stuff. Per year. One person.
Over 8 years that's been over 8500 litres / or, errm 1900 gallons approx.
His average is around 140 alcohol units per week (every week of the year) assuming 9 units per bottle. The recommended maximum limit is 21 units per week. He's happy to live like this and there's nothing I can do to stop him!
Any advice?
grumbledoak said:
AndyT77 said:
and often think to myself they need to grow up a bit.
You were doing so well. Right up to the bit where you climbed onto the oldest horse known to man. OP- give it up if you want. It is entirely your decision and it is easy enough to do*. Whether your life is better with or without it depends on what you choose to do instead. If you just stop and sit around moping or, worse, start preaching to your soon-to-be-ex mates about growing up, then you would be better off back on the booze.
- as long as you aren't knocking back bottles a day now. If you are, get proper advice before stopping.
quiraing said:
I have a mate who drinks 2 bottles of red wine each and every day, sometimes more at weekends, and has done so for around the 8 years I've known him. He's not overweight, is married, holds down a responsible job, and has completed several extensive car-restorations in his spare time to very high standards. Trying to advise to cut down does no good, in fact it makes him worse. If a drinker doesn't want to stop drinking then he / she won't.
That's maybe 800 bottles of wine by one person in a year, or 1066 litres / or 235 gallons of the stuff. Per year. One person.
Over 8 years that's been over 8500 litres / or, errm 1900 gallons approx.
His average is around 140 alcohol units per week (every week of the year) assuming 9 units per bottle. The recommended maximum limit is 21 units per week. He's happy to live like this and there's nothing I can do to stop him!
Any advice?
At that level, I doubt very much if he would ever drive when under the limit. Sooner rather than later, he'll have a little bump on the way to work. Plod will arrive and his life will very quickly and very seriously unravel.That's maybe 800 bottles of wine by one person in a year, or 1066 litres / or 235 gallons of the stuff. Per year. One person.
Over 8 years that's been over 8500 litres / or, errm 1900 gallons approx.
His average is around 140 alcohol units per week (every week of the year) assuming 9 units per bottle. The recommended maximum limit is 21 units per week. He's happy to live like this and there's nothing I can do to stop him!
Any advice?
From experience of having two friends succumb to drink, I'd also suggest that this is knocking on the open door of full on alcoholism.
A couple of weeks back I posted about cutting down the booze. I did have a couple of weeks where I managed to not drink as much as normal but then we have got into the Christmas side of things and I have been out drinking a lot (as well as drinking in).
I have begun to realise that my reaction to alcohol is different to others. My wife and I went to a Christmas party on Saturday where I had about 2 bottles of wine to drink (I was fine the morning after) where as she just had a couple of glasses. The following day I wanted a drink in the evening (and so went to the off license and got some cans) whereas she has't had a drink since.
Talking to others it seems that not everyone comes home from work and cracks open a can or has a glass of wine. If I open a bottle I finish it and if my wife wanted a glass then I would open another bottle. I struggle to get through the working week (Monday - Thursday) without a drink and will often find myself at the off license by Wednesday evening and if not Wednesday almost certainly Thursday.
I think I am going to try and stop drinking altogether from the 1st January. The thing that makes me apprehensive is the feeling that I will be missing out and that my life will be very differnt to the one that I enjoy even though I have begun to realise that 50+ units per week might not be a good idea long term. I have been thinking about buying the Alan Carr book but, and I know this seems weird, I am almost afraid it will work and suddenly I won't be a drinker any more. Considering I have been a drinker for 20ish years that seems a big change to make. But at the same time, I am not sure I can regulate my drinking and only have 1 day a week where I do so maybe I dont really have a choice?
I have begun to realise that my reaction to alcohol is different to others. My wife and I went to a Christmas party on Saturday where I had about 2 bottles of wine to drink (I was fine the morning after) where as she just had a couple of glasses. The following day I wanted a drink in the evening (and so went to the off license and got some cans) whereas she has't had a drink since.
Talking to others it seems that not everyone comes home from work and cracks open a can or has a glass of wine. If I open a bottle I finish it and if my wife wanted a glass then I would open another bottle. I struggle to get through the working week (Monday - Thursday) without a drink and will often find myself at the off license by Wednesday evening and if not Wednesday almost certainly Thursday.
I think I am going to try and stop drinking altogether from the 1st January. The thing that makes me apprehensive is the feeling that I will be missing out and that my life will be very differnt to the one that I enjoy even though I have begun to realise that 50+ units per week might not be a good idea long term. I have been thinking about buying the Alan Carr book but, and I know this seems weird, I am almost afraid it will work and suddenly I won't be a drinker any more. Considering I have been a drinker for 20ish years that seems a big change to make. But at the same time, I am not sure I can regulate my drinking and only have 1 day a week where I do so maybe I dont really have a choice?
>>But at the same time, I am not sure I can regulate my drinking and only have 1 day a week where I do so maybe I dont really have a choice
I don't think so, as Allen Carr says in his book, it's "all or nothing", cutting down is doomed to fail and will just make you miserable.
I read the book hoping it would help me cut down. By the time I had finished, the desire for alcohol had just evaporated, and it hasn't come back. And I was a regular (ie most days) drinker.
I can understand your feelings of apprehension, but I can go to pub quizzes and comedy nights and go out for meals and having a drink simply isn't a consideration for me. The week after I read the book, our pub quiz team won a round of drinks. I chose a tomato juice and absolutely didn't think I was missing out.
The book costs the same as a couple of pints and can be read in a couple of days. You don't have to follow the advice if you don't want. You don't really have anything to lose...
Another option (same message but aimed at a younger audience ( ie fewer anecdotes about golf club dinners and more about going out on the lash with your mates!) is Jason Vale's 'kick the drink easily'
I don't think so, as Allen Carr says in his book, it's "all or nothing", cutting down is doomed to fail and will just make you miserable.
I read the book hoping it would help me cut down. By the time I had finished, the desire for alcohol had just evaporated, and it hasn't come back. And I was a regular (ie most days) drinker.
I can understand your feelings of apprehension, but I can go to pub quizzes and comedy nights and go out for meals and having a drink simply isn't a consideration for me. The week after I read the book, our pub quiz team won a round of drinks. I chose a tomato juice and absolutely didn't think I was missing out.
The book costs the same as a couple of pints and can be read in a couple of days. You don't have to follow the advice if you don't want. You don't really have anything to lose...
Another option (same message but aimed at a younger audience ( ie fewer anecdotes about golf club dinners and more about going out on the lash with your mates!) is Jason Vale's 'kick the drink easily'
One point to make is that by cutting out drinking, your social life can in fact improve. If you have friends who are a drive away, you can be meeting them in pubs/round theirs, socialise for the evening and drive home again.
It's also good for the petrol in the veins. Up at five am for a Sunday morning blast and no worries on the breathalyser.
In my case, I lost a bundle of weight and saved money. Most cost effective way to improve my Caterham's performance ever!
I'm not suggesting the all or nothing approach is easy, but wanting to have a go is the most important aspect. The tale about the two bottles guy above shows that if the drinker doesn't see the problem, even if others do, there's little hope until the penny drops. It's also worth bearing in mind that if you set yourself say a 30 day challenge, but end up caving and having a drink on day 20, and then stay dry until day 30, you've still done 29 days out of 30. Finding the positives is key to motivation.
It's also good for the petrol in the veins. Up at five am for a Sunday morning blast and no worries on the breathalyser.
In my case, I lost a bundle of weight and saved money. Most cost effective way to improve my Caterham's performance ever!
I'm not suggesting the all or nothing approach is easy, but wanting to have a go is the most important aspect. The tale about the two bottles guy above shows that if the drinker doesn't see the problem, even if others do, there's little hope until the penny drops. It's also worth bearing in mind that if you set yourself say a 30 day challenge, but end up caving and having a drink on day 20, and then stay dry until day 30, you've still done 29 days out of 30. Finding the positives is key to motivation.
Interesting topic. I do not drink socially, but drink at home. Probably 3 - 4 cans of lager a night or a few bottles of my favourite Hoegaarden. I do not get drunk on that amount but it is WAY too much.
I find it difficult to give up (tried a few times) and seem to 'need' the drink to go to bed.
I find it difficult to give up (tried a few times) and seem to 'need' the drink to go to bed.
StevieBee said:
quiraing said:
I have a mate who drinks 2 bottles of red wine each and every day, sometimes more at weekends, and has done so for around the 8 years I've known him. He's not overweight, is married, holds down a responsible job, and has completed several extensive car-restorations in his spare time to very high standards. Trying to advise to cut down does no good, in fact it makes him worse. If a drinker doesn't want to stop drinking then he / she won't.
That's maybe 800 bottles of wine by one person in a year, or 1066 litres / or 235 gallons of the stuff. Per year. One person.
Over 8 years that's been over 8500 litres / or, errm 1900 gallons approx.
His average is around 140 alcohol units per week (every week of the year) assuming 9 units per bottle. The recommended maximum limit is 21 units per week. He's happy to live like this and there's nothing I can do to stop him!
Any advice?
At that level, I doubt very much if he would ever drive when under the limit. Sooner rather than later, he'll have a little bump on the way to work. Plod will arrive and his life will very quickly and very seriously unravel.That's maybe 800 bottles of wine by one person in a year, or 1066 litres / or 235 gallons of the stuff. Per year. One person.
Over 8 years that's been over 8500 litres / or, errm 1900 gallons approx.
His average is around 140 alcohol units per week (every week of the year) assuming 9 units per bottle. The recommended maximum limit is 21 units per week. He's happy to live like this and there's nothing I can do to stop him!
Any advice?
From experience of having two friends succumb to drink, I'd also suggest that this is knocking on the open door of full on alcoholism.
He has told me he can't stop. I've argued that it's not "can't stop", it's "won't stop". However, I don't have his perspective on the situation and can't fully comprehend how difficult it might be for him as I have never been a heavy drinker and I now only drink occasionally as I am diabetic. I intend to find out more from the book someone mentioned above, thanks for post.
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