Discussion
Within the next 10 years I will loose my family, I will be living on the equivalent of £200 a week,Ii do not have or want any friends as I dont trust anyone due to the amount of abuse of all kinds (physical, mental, sexual and financial) I received in my twenties, I look at people as scum until otherwise proved, and I have a mental illness that the NHS will not help me with (homosexuality)
So ill be living to get up and go to work ,to go to bed, to repeat. I have no further desire to anything or travel anywhere, im just keeping going now so i dont upset my family while they are alive.When theyve gone I have no further purpose so I might as well not be a drain on resources whilst getting old.
So ill be living to get up and go to work ,to go to bed, to repeat. I have no further desire to anything or travel anywhere, im just keeping going now so i dont upset my family while they are alive.When theyve gone I have no further purpose so I might as well not be a drain on resources whilst getting old.
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
A500leroy said:
I do not have or want any friends
Yet, people are on here chatting with you. Doesn't that tell you something, maybe that people don't think badly of you? A500leroy said:
I have a mental illness that the NHS will not help me with (homosexuality) .
Ok, I understand where you’re coming from otherwise. I’m a bit confused by this part though.
Sounds like you’ve had a s
t time of it, and I can see that the future isn’t exactly looking rosy.What would you like to be different? If you’re able can you break down the ‘it’s all crap’ approach and see if there’s anything that you can change to make it a bit less crap? It doesn’t need to be a big thing, just something.
Speed addicted said:
Ok, I understand where you’re coming from otherwise.
I’m a bit confused by this part though.
Sounds like you’ve had a st time of it, and I can see that the future isn’t exactly looking rosy.
What would you like to be different? If you’re able can you break down the ‘it’s all crap’ approach and see if there’s anything that you can change to make it a bit less crap? It doesn’t need to be a big thing, just something.
I would like it to be accepted that for some of us being bent isnt ok, it is like having cancer and some help to at least getting to not preferring any sex would be very beneficial.I’m a bit confused by this part though.
Sounds like you’ve had a s
t time of it, and I can see that the future isn’t exactly looking rosy.What would you like to be different? If you’re able can you break down the ‘it’s all crap’ approach and see if there’s anything that you can change to make it a bit less crap? It doesn’t need to be a big thing, just something.
A500leroy said:
Within the next 10 years I will loose my family, I will be living on the equivalent of £200 a week,Ii do not have or want any friends as I dont trust anyone due to the amount of abuse of all kinds (physical, mental, sexual and financial) I received in my twenties, I look at people as scum until otherwise proved, and I have a mental illness that the NHS will not help me with (homosexuality)
So ill be living to get up and go to work ,to go to bed, to repeat. I have no further desire to anything or travel anywhere, im just keeping going now so i dont upset my family while they are alive.When theyve gone I have no further purpose so I might as well not be a drain on resources whilst getting old.
I’m sorry that you didn’t have anyone there for you in you’re twenties when you experienced this abuse, I guess if you view the world and people from that viewpoint it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that that’s how it will always be.So ill be living to get up and go to work ,to go to bed, to repeat. I have no further desire to anything or travel anywhere, im just keeping going now so i dont upset my family while they are alive.When theyve gone I have no further purpose so I might as well not be a drain on resources whilst getting old.
I've been really struggling over the last couple of weeks (depression and anxiety) and have decided to go on Sertraline. My GP prescribed them six months ago but I decided not to take them at the time as I couldn't face the side effects from previous SSRI medication. In an earlier post I mentioned the anti-depressant impact of Tramadol I'd been taking for a mouth abscess, and that led me to carry out quite a bit of "research" on anti depressants... I've come to the conclusion that I really do suffer from some form of chemical imbalance, which is probably hereditary as my brother/mother/grandmother suffer(ed). I know what it feels like to feel normal/positive, I just need to find a mechanism for that to be the "new normal".
I've started the Sertraline on a low dose (25mg) and after a week I'm already finding that my morning anxiety has diminished; I read a study which found that it can work quicker for anxiety than depression so I think it's more than the placebo effect. The side effects haven't been that bad; I slept till 9am this morning rather than getting up at my normal time of 6.45am and I've had a bit of nausea. Obviously the anti depressant impact will take another 3-4 weeks to come through, and I will probably increase the dose to 50mg and see what the side effects are like. I really hope that this combined with a decent diet, exercise and removing unnecessary stress will work.
I've started the Sertraline on a low dose (25mg) and after a week I'm already finding that my morning anxiety has diminished; I read a study which found that it can work quicker for anxiety than depression so I think it's more than the placebo effect. The side effects haven't been that bad; I slept till 9am this morning rather than getting up at my normal time of 6.45am and I've had a bit of nausea. Obviously the anti depressant impact will take another 3-4 weeks to come through, and I will probably increase the dose to 50mg and see what the side effects are like. I really hope that this combined with a decent diet, exercise and removing unnecessary stress will work.
tim0409 said:
I've been really struggling over the last couple of weeks (depression and anxiety) and have decided to go on Sertraline. My GP prescribed them six months ago but I decided not to take them at the time as I couldn't face the side effects from previous SSRI medication. In an earlier post I mentioned the anti-depressant impact of Tramadol I'd been taking for a mouth abscess, and that led me to carry out quite a bit of "research" on anti depressants... I've come to the conclusion that I really do suffer from some form of chemical imbalance, which is probably hereditary as my brother/mother/grandmother suffer(ed). I know what it feels like to feel normal/positive, I just need to find a mechanism for that to be the "new normal".
I've started the Sertraline on a low dose (25mg) and after a week I'm already finding that my morning anxiety has diminished; I read a study which found that it can work quicker for anxiety than depression so I think it's more than the placebo effect. The side effects haven't been that bad; I slept till 9am this morning rather than getting up at my normal time of 6.45am and I've had a bit of nausea. Obviously the anti depressant impact will take another 3-4 weeks to come through, and I will probably increase the dose to 50mg and see what the side effects are like. I really hope that this combined with a decent diet, exercise and removing unnecessary stress will work.
Good luck mate - wish you well. I've started the Sertraline on a low dose (25mg) and after a week I'm already finding that my morning anxiety has diminished; I read a study which found that it can work quicker for anxiety than depression so I think it's more than the placebo effect. The side effects haven't been that bad; I slept till 9am this morning rather than getting up at my normal time of 6.45am and I've had a bit of nausea. Obviously the anti depressant impact will take another 3-4 weeks to come through, and I will probably increase the dose to 50mg and see what the side effects are like. I really hope that this combined with a decent diet, exercise and removing unnecessary stress will work.
How is everyone?
I'm finding work stressful. An increase in workload, a member of the team leaving and me having to train-up the replacement, and a promise by my line manager to get involved in clearing the backlog falling by the wayside are the main issues.
I am ending up working more than my contracted hours with no respite on the horizon. Which makes me tired and irritable at home.
I'm still on fluoxetine, 4 times a week - Mon/Tue then Thu/Fri. Perhaps I need to temporarily up the number of tablets per week.
Anyway - hope you all are doing well, or if not then at least surviving.
I'm finding work stressful. An increase in workload, a member of the team leaving and me having to train-up the replacement, and a promise by my line manager to get involved in clearing the backlog falling by the wayside are the main issues.
I am ending up working more than my contracted hours with no respite on the horizon. Which makes me tired and irritable at home.
I'm still on fluoxetine, 4 times a week - Mon/Tue then Thu/Fri. Perhaps I need to temporarily up the number of tablets per week.
Anyway - hope you all are doing well, or if not then at least surviving.
oobster said:
How is everyone?
I'm finding work stressful. An increase in workload, a member of the team leaving and me having to train-up the replacement, and a promise by my line manager to get involved in clearing the backlog falling by the wayside are the main issues.
I am ending up working more than my contracted hours with no respite on the horizon. Which makes me tired and irritable at home.
I'm still on fluoxetine, 4 times a week - Mon/Tue then Thu/Fri. Perhaps I need to temporarily up the number of tablets per week.
Anyway - hope you all are doing well, or if not then at least surviving.
That's not ideal mate. Is there no way you can speak to your manager and explaining the stressful situation. I think once your work starts to impact your home live you need a reasonably open conversation.I'm finding work stressful. An increase in workload, a member of the team leaving and me having to train-up the replacement, and a promise by my line manager to get involved in clearing the backlog falling by the wayside are the main issues.
I am ending up working more than my contracted hours with no respite on the horizon. Which makes me tired and irritable at home.
I'm still on fluoxetine, 4 times a week - Mon/Tue then Thu/Fri. Perhaps I need to temporarily up the number of tablets per week.
Anyway - hope you all are doing well, or if not then at least surviving.
I need to go back to my GP and look to start my Fluoxetine again.
I'm struggling with motivation in general life myself.
Also, I'm trying to really make an effort on my diet and starting to lose weight, I'm around 20 stone now (6ft big build anyway) and my target weight would be around 15 Stone.
Work wise I feel very under-challenged and a team change has left a good friend of mine leaving and, to be honest, I wanted the team leader role (and would have been good for it) but it wasn't even discussed and someone else got it. That person is technically capable but the dynamic is going to be very different and that anxiety is a lot for me.
Home life is difficult, I am trying to manage that and improve - but worst case would be case of either selling my beloved car to buy my GF out, of end up how I was 3 years ago in rented accommodation. I have a dog so it would be difficult to find rented places that are pet friendly.
I find otherwise joyful tasks really dull.
But yesterday was nice, met up with an old friend, he helped me do some work on my car and ended up in the pub having a nice meal and a long chat about stuff and cars and jobs we've had in the past etc . I guess there is some enjoyment in life still.
I hope people don't mind me jumping in here and apologies for not reading the whole thread so far, but i thought this would be a good place to put my issues and see if anyone is experiencing or has experienced similar. Wasn't keen on starting my own thread! and i figured i wouldn't be judged too harshly here due to the subject matter!
I have a physical disability first off. Cerebral Palsy but i think compared to some people, i get away lightly with it. I think most on here are familiar with Nicholas Hamilton, a certain famous racing drivers brother, well i suffer with it around the same as he does.
Throughout my childhood and 20's, pretty normal really, the odd bit of bullying but nothing that i couldn't handle, it didn't bother me. I did lots of things in my 20s, enjoyed myself, worked a lot, i was single, didn't have any luck with the ladies but this didn't bother me too much, i had a good circle of friends at work, went for a few beers, had some nice cars and generally had a pretty laid back, comfortable life. Being single a lot did get me down sometimes, but i did some good things, had some nice holidays and went to Le Mans a lot!
Fast forward to 2014. a friend (i wouldn't call him a close friend as such, but someone i went to school with and few fairly often) and his then wife split up. She had an affair - with me. We had always been friendly, and she had been with him for 10 years or so, but they had grown apart and things just happened between us. They also had 2 kids (now 12 and 8). We got together, despite a LOT of hassle from her ex (understandably!) and its fair to say things haven't been easy for us. The kids have been dragged through a lot of crap, their dad has not been a good influence to them since splitting up, however, he is now remarried with another baby, but still causes us trouble occasionally The eldest has seen through the crap his dad has put him through and is now living with us, which is fine, and the youngest goes to his dads 50% of the time and 50% with us.
Anyway, thats by the by really. Our relationship has had its ups and downs like any. My partner (a nurse) suffered with anxiety after all this, but i supported her, and we got through it. We now have our own place and have been living here nearly 2 years now. We have spent an awful lot on it, getting it up to scratch and putting our stamp on it.
When we got together, i was overjoyed at finally having my first partner (at 31!) a late starter you may say!! I was always looking forward to our free weekends. It was an opportunity to take her away somewhere. We went to the lake district, as well as some more local places, and generally just enjoyed each others company and i tried my hardest to make sure we did nice things and went to nice places.
Since then though, I've struggled a lot with social anxiety. I've sort of tried to ignore it and hope it would go away, but over the years it has got worse, where I'm now at a point wondering where i go from here. There have been a few things, which i can pinpoint, which haven't helped.
1) We went to a restaurant in the lakes. It was a very nice, intimate fish restaurant. Small, only about 6 tables, lovely place, but i felt very uncomfortable in there. From the moment i got in there, and seated, the owner, never stopped staring at us. It made me feel very uneasy, to the point where, i couldn't wait to get out, and didn't even finish my meal.
2) Bullring Birmingham. Went there one day, had a Burrito. Ate it too fast, and ended up having to run to the nearest toilet to vomit it back up again.
TMI i know, but these two experiences seem to have stuck with me. and for ages after that and still now, i won't eat out. I get nauseus at the thought, hate eating out, and always have this irrational fear of eating out, and then feeling too full to move, or worry that I'm going to vomit.
I think this is where the crux of my problems come in as my social anxiety has been getting worse. After this, we still went for weekends away, but i would resort to just eating in the evening, where i knew then that i would just be retiring to my hotel room after the meal to relax. This didnt bother my partner, and she has just gotten used to eating when shes hungry, but just leaving me be. This was frustrating, but not the be all and end all, its only food after all!
Then a few years ago, we went to Nice. Now we both have a fear of flying, so we were both cacking it at the airport, but i felt horrible, I have a poor gag reflex anyway, but i was horrible, and gaggy in the airport, almost acting like i was going to vomit, such was the fear (this probably explains why i don't eat in the day now. No food in system = nothing to vomit, so i know im safe on that score!). However, once i was on the plane, i seemed to settle and was pretty much OK for the rest of the holiday
then probably 18 months ago, we took a long weekend to Harrogate. A lovely place, but i just couldn't relax at all. I felt horrible. Gaggy again in public, and really struggled with getting out and about. It was a lovely place and a nice hotel, but again i just couldn't relax and didn't enjoy it.
Things have gradually got worse really. I won't eat out now, and i feel like i struggle a lot with social anxiety. Lockdown hasn't helped, but i actually enjoyed lockdown because i was forced to not go anywhere - ideal for me!
Now i seem to be struggling on a daily basis. I'm a massive over thinker. a "what if" sort of person. What if this happens or what if that happens.
I never used to be like this before i got a girlfriend. I'm wondering if its just the pressures of having a family / girlfriend.
Being a nurse, she is very supportive, but this is dragging me down now. Ive phoned my GP on 2 occasions and they wont prescribe medication and just refer me to phoning a health and wellbeing service.
Has anyone experienced anything like this, have any suggestions on what i can try and do next?
Sorry for the long post.
Thank you
I have a physical disability first off. Cerebral Palsy but i think compared to some people, i get away lightly with it. I think most on here are familiar with Nicholas Hamilton, a certain famous racing drivers brother, well i suffer with it around the same as he does.
Throughout my childhood and 20's, pretty normal really, the odd bit of bullying but nothing that i couldn't handle, it didn't bother me. I did lots of things in my 20s, enjoyed myself, worked a lot, i was single, didn't have any luck with the ladies but this didn't bother me too much, i had a good circle of friends at work, went for a few beers, had some nice cars and generally had a pretty laid back, comfortable life. Being single a lot did get me down sometimes, but i did some good things, had some nice holidays and went to Le Mans a lot!
Fast forward to 2014. a friend (i wouldn't call him a close friend as such, but someone i went to school with and few fairly often) and his then wife split up. She had an affair - with me. We had always been friendly, and she had been with him for 10 years or so, but they had grown apart and things just happened between us. They also had 2 kids (now 12 and 8). We got together, despite a LOT of hassle from her ex (understandably!) and its fair to say things haven't been easy for us. The kids have been dragged through a lot of crap, their dad has not been a good influence to them since splitting up, however, he is now remarried with another baby, but still causes us trouble occasionally The eldest has seen through the crap his dad has put him through and is now living with us, which is fine, and the youngest goes to his dads 50% of the time and 50% with us.
Anyway, thats by the by really. Our relationship has had its ups and downs like any. My partner (a nurse) suffered with anxiety after all this, but i supported her, and we got through it. We now have our own place and have been living here nearly 2 years now. We have spent an awful lot on it, getting it up to scratch and putting our stamp on it.
When we got together, i was overjoyed at finally having my first partner (at 31!) a late starter you may say!! I was always looking forward to our free weekends. It was an opportunity to take her away somewhere. We went to the lake district, as well as some more local places, and generally just enjoyed each others company and i tried my hardest to make sure we did nice things and went to nice places.
Since then though, I've struggled a lot with social anxiety. I've sort of tried to ignore it and hope it would go away, but over the years it has got worse, where I'm now at a point wondering where i go from here. There have been a few things, which i can pinpoint, which haven't helped.
1) We went to a restaurant in the lakes. It was a very nice, intimate fish restaurant. Small, only about 6 tables, lovely place, but i felt very uncomfortable in there. From the moment i got in there, and seated, the owner, never stopped staring at us. It made me feel very uneasy, to the point where, i couldn't wait to get out, and didn't even finish my meal.
2) Bullring Birmingham. Went there one day, had a Burrito. Ate it too fast, and ended up having to run to the nearest toilet to vomit it back up again.
TMI i know, but these two experiences seem to have stuck with me. and for ages after that and still now, i won't eat out. I get nauseus at the thought, hate eating out, and always have this irrational fear of eating out, and then feeling too full to move, or worry that I'm going to vomit.
I think this is where the crux of my problems come in as my social anxiety has been getting worse. After this, we still went for weekends away, but i would resort to just eating in the evening, where i knew then that i would just be retiring to my hotel room after the meal to relax. This didnt bother my partner, and she has just gotten used to eating when shes hungry, but just leaving me be. This was frustrating, but not the be all and end all, its only food after all!
Then a few years ago, we went to Nice. Now we both have a fear of flying, so we were both cacking it at the airport, but i felt horrible, I have a poor gag reflex anyway, but i was horrible, and gaggy in the airport, almost acting like i was going to vomit, such was the fear (this probably explains why i don't eat in the day now. No food in system = nothing to vomit, so i know im safe on that score!). However, once i was on the plane, i seemed to settle and was pretty much OK for the rest of the holiday
then probably 18 months ago, we took a long weekend to Harrogate. A lovely place, but i just couldn't relax at all. I felt horrible. Gaggy again in public, and really struggled with getting out and about. It was a lovely place and a nice hotel, but again i just couldn't relax and didn't enjoy it.
Things have gradually got worse really. I won't eat out now, and i feel like i struggle a lot with social anxiety. Lockdown hasn't helped, but i actually enjoyed lockdown because i was forced to not go anywhere - ideal for me!
Now i seem to be struggling on a daily basis. I'm a massive over thinker. a "what if" sort of person. What if this happens or what if that happens.
I never used to be like this before i got a girlfriend. I'm wondering if its just the pressures of having a family / girlfriend.
Being a nurse, she is very supportive, but this is dragging me down now. Ive phoned my GP on 2 occasions and they wont prescribe medication and just refer me to phoning a health and wellbeing service.
Has anyone experienced anything like this, have any suggestions on what i can try and do next?
Sorry for the long post.
Thank you
James_N said:
I hope people don't mind me jumping in here and apologies for not reading the whole thread so far, but i thought this would be a good place to put my issues and see if anyone is experiencing or has experienced similar. Wasn't keen on starting my own thread! and i figured i wouldn't be judged too harshly here due to the subject matter!
I have a physical disability first off. Cerebral Palsy but i think compared to some people, i get away lightly with it. I think most on here are familiar with Nicholas Hamilton, a certain famous racing drivers brother, well i suffer with it around the same as he does.
Throughout my childhood and 20's, pretty normal really, the odd bit of bullying but nothing that i couldn't handle, it didn't bother me. I did lots of things in my 20s, enjoyed myself, worked a lot, i was single, didn't have any luck with the ladies but this didn't bother me too much, i had a good circle of friends at work, went for a few beers, had some nice cars and generally had a pretty laid back, comfortable life. Being single a lot did get me down sometimes, but i did some good things, had some nice holidays and went to Le Mans a lot!
Fast forward to 2014. a friend (i wouldn't call him a close friend as such, but someone i went to school with and few fairly often) and his then wife split up. She had an affair - with me. We had always been friendly, and she had been with him for 10 years or so, but they had grown apart and things just happened between us. They also had 2 kids (now 12 and 8). We got together, despite a LOT of hassle from her ex (understandably!) and its fair to say things haven't been easy for us. The kids have been dragged through a lot of crap, their dad has not been a good influence to them since splitting up, however, he is now remarried with another baby, but still causes us trouble occasionally The eldest has seen through the crap his dad has put him through and is now living with us, which is fine, and the youngest goes to his dads 50% of the time and 50% with us.
Anyway, thats by the by really. Our relationship has had its ups and downs like any. My partner (a nurse) suffered with anxiety after all this, but i supported her, and we got through it. We now have our own place and have been living here nearly 2 years now. We have spent an awful lot on it, getting it up to scratch and putting our stamp on it.
When we got together, i was overjoyed at finally having my first partner (at 31!) a late starter you may say!! I was always looking forward to our free weekends. It was an opportunity to take her away somewhere. We went to the lake district, as well as some more local places, and generally just enjoyed each others company and i tried my hardest to make sure we did nice things and went to nice places.
Since then though, I've struggled a lot with social anxiety. I've sort of tried to ignore it and hope it would go away, but over the years it has got worse, where I'm now at a point wondering where i go from here. There have been a few things, which i can pinpoint, which haven't helped.
1) We went to a restaurant in the lakes. It was a very nice, intimate fish restaurant. Small, only about 6 tables, lovely place, but i felt very uncomfortable in there. From the moment i got in there, and seated, the owner, never stopped staring at us. It made me feel very uneasy, to the point where, i couldn't wait to get out, and didn't even finish my meal.
2) Bullring Birmingham. Went there one day, had a Burrito. Ate it too fast, and ended up having to run to the nearest toilet to vomit it back up again.
TMI i know, but these two experiences seem to have stuck with me. and for ages after that and still now, i won't eat out. I get nauseus at the thought, hate eating out, and always have this irrational fear of eating out, and then feeling too full to move, or worry that I'm going to vomit.
I think this is where the crux of my problems come in as my social anxiety has been getting worse. After this, we still went for weekends away, but i would resort to just eating in the evening, where i knew then that i would just be retiring to my hotel room after the meal to relax. This didnt bother my partner, and she has just gotten used to eating when shes hungry, but just leaving me be. This was frustrating, but not the be all and end all, its only food after all!
Then a few years ago, we went to Nice. Now we both have a fear of flying, so we were both cacking it at the airport, but i felt horrible, I have a poor gag reflex anyway, but i was horrible, and gaggy in the airport, almost acting like i was going to vomit, such was the fear (this probably explains why i don't eat in the day now. No food in system = nothing to vomit, so i know im safe on that score!). However, once i was on the plane, i seemed to settle and was pretty much OK for the rest of the holiday
then probably 18 months ago, we took a long weekend to Harrogate. A lovely place, but i just couldn't relax at all. I felt horrible. Gaggy again in public, and really struggled with getting out and about. It was a lovely place and a nice hotel, but again i just couldn't relax and didn't enjoy it.
Things have gradually got worse really. I won't eat out now, and i feel like i struggle a lot with social anxiety. Lockdown hasn't helped, but i actually enjoyed lockdown because i was forced to not go anywhere - ideal for me!
Now i seem to be struggling on a daily basis. I'm a massive over thinker. a "what if" sort of person. What if this happens or what if that happens.
I never used to be like this before i got a girlfriend. I'm wondering if its just the pressures of having a family / girlfriend.
Being a nurse, she is very supportive, but this is dragging me down now. Ive phoned my GP on 2 occasions and they wont prescribe medication and just refer me to phoning a health and wellbeing service.
Has anyone experienced anything like this, have any suggestions on what i can try and do next?
Sorry for the long post.
Thank you
Morning mate. I have a physical disability first off. Cerebral Palsy but i think compared to some people, i get away lightly with it. I think most on here are familiar with Nicholas Hamilton, a certain famous racing drivers brother, well i suffer with it around the same as he does.
Throughout my childhood and 20's, pretty normal really, the odd bit of bullying but nothing that i couldn't handle, it didn't bother me. I did lots of things in my 20s, enjoyed myself, worked a lot, i was single, didn't have any luck with the ladies but this didn't bother me too much, i had a good circle of friends at work, went for a few beers, had some nice cars and generally had a pretty laid back, comfortable life. Being single a lot did get me down sometimes, but i did some good things, had some nice holidays and went to Le Mans a lot!
Fast forward to 2014. a friend (i wouldn't call him a close friend as such, but someone i went to school with and few fairly often) and his then wife split up. She had an affair - with me. We had always been friendly, and she had been with him for 10 years or so, but they had grown apart and things just happened between us. They also had 2 kids (now 12 and 8). We got together, despite a LOT of hassle from her ex (understandably!) and its fair to say things haven't been easy for us. The kids have been dragged through a lot of crap, their dad has not been a good influence to them since splitting up, however, he is now remarried with another baby, but still causes us trouble occasionally The eldest has seen through the crap his dad has put him through and is now living with us, which is fine, and the youngest goes to his dads 50% of the time and 50% with us.
Anyway, thats by the by really. Our relationship has had its ups and downs like any. My partner (a nurse) suffered with anxiety after all this, but i supported her, and we got through it. We now have our own place and have been living here nearly 2 years now. We have spent an awful lot on it, getting it up to scratch and putting our stamp on it.
When we got together, i was overjoyed at finally having my first partner (at 31!) a late starter you may say!! I was always looking forward to our free weekends. It was an opportunity to take her away somewhere. We went to the lake district, as well as some more local places, and generally just enjoyed each others company and i tried my hardest to make sure we did nice things and went to nice places.
Since then though, I've struggled a lot with social anxiety. I've sort of tried to ignore it and hope it would go away, but over the years it has got worse, where I'm now at a point wondering where i go from here. There have been a few things, which i can pinpoint, which haven't helped.
1) We went to a restaurant in the lakes. It was a very nice, intimate fish restaurant. Small, only about 6 tables, lovely place, but i felt very uncomfortable in there. From the moment i got in there, and seated, the owner, never stopped staring at us. It made me feel very uneasy, to the point where, i couldn't wait to get out, and didn't even finish my meal.
2) Bullring Birmingham. Went there one day, had a Burrito. Ate it too fast, and ended up having to run to the nearest toilet to vomit it back up again.
TMI i know, but these two experiences seem to have stuck with me. and for ages after that and still now, i won't eat out. I get nauseus at the thought, hate eating out, and always have this irrational fear of eating out, and then feeling too full to move, or worry that I'm going to vomit.
I think this is where the crux of my problems come in as my social anxiety has been getting worse. After this, we still went for weekends away, but i would resort to just eating in the evening, where i knew then that i would just be retiring to my hotel room after the meal to relax. This didnt bother my partner, and she has just gotten used to eating when shes hungry, but just leaving me be. This was frustrating, but not the be all and end all, its only food after all!
Then a few years ago, we went to Nice. Now we both have a fear of flying, so we were both cacking it at the airport, but i felt horrible, I have a poor gag reflex anyway, but i was horrible, and gaggy in the airport, almost acting like i was going to vomit, such was the fear (this probably explains why i don't eat in the day now. No food in system = nothing to vomit, so i know im safe on that score!). However, once i was on the plane, i seemed to settle and was pretty much OK for the rest of the holiday
then probably 18 months ago, we took a long weekend to Harrogate. A lovely place, but i just couldn't relax at all. I felt horrible. Gaggy again in public, and really struggled with getting out and about. It was a lovely place and a nice hotel, but again i just couldn't relax and didn't enjoy it.
Things have gradually got worse really. I won't eat out now, and i feel like i struggle a lot with social anxiety. Lockdown hasn't helped, but i actually enjoyed lockdown because i was forced to not go anywhere - ideal for me!
Now i seem to be struggling on a daily basis. I'm a massive over thinker. a "what if" sort of person. What if this happens or what if that happens.
I never used to be like this before i got a girlfriend. I'm wondering if its just the pressures of having a family / girlfriend.
Being a nurse, she is very supportive, but this is dragging me down now. Ive phoned my GP on 2 occasions and they wont prescribe medication and just refer me to phoning a health and wellbeing service.
Has anyone experienced anything like this, have any suggestions on what i can try and do next?
Sorry for the long post.
Thank you
Well done for sharing. I'm of the opinion we're all pals here on PH and should support where possible.
I can't relate to what you've suffered from but the reality is there is an issue there and it really is very good to talk to professionals to unpick the underlying issues you're experiencing.
Do you have an employee helpline that you can call at all?
heisthegaffer said:
Morning mate.
Well done for sharing. I'm of the opinion we're all pals here on PH and should support where possible.
I can't relate to what you've suffered from but the reality is there is an issue there and it really is very good to talk to professionals to unpick the underlying issues you're experiencing.
Do you have an employee helpline that you can call at all?
I do actually and that was going to be my next step. Its so frustrating, when i think ive been to Le mans, and had to come back home due to illness (sometimes sun stroke, sometimes chest infection!!) but never worried about it, just got on with it. now, at 36, i seem to worry about literally everything. frustrating since this has only happened since i got a mrs, but she puts no pressure on me at all and is very supportive as she knows what its like to suffer with anxiety. Well done for sharing. I'm of the opinion we're all pals here on PH and should support where possible.
I can't relate to what you've suffered from but the reality is there is an issue there and it really is very good to talk to professionals to unpick the underlying issues you're experiencing.
Do you have an employee helpline that you can call at all?
I'll have to pluck up the courage to phone the helpline. My mrs was on citalopram and it worked wonders for her, but for some reason, my doctors don't seem to think i need medication.
They did give me propanalol and anti sickness to take as and when probably about a year ago, but it did jack s
t. I feel like i need a low dose of something more on a daily basis to just calm my over worrying mind, but the docs don't seem keen to give anything at the moment. Thanks for the reply 
James_N said:
I do actually and that was going to be my next step. Its so frustrating, when i think ive been to Le mans, and had to come back home due to illness (sometimes sun stroke, sometimes chest infection!!) but never worried about it, just got on with it. now, at 36, i seem to worry about literally everything. frustrating since this has only happened since i got a mrs, but she puts no pressure on me at all and is very supportive as she knows what its like to suffer with anxiety.
I'll have to pluck up the courage to phone the helpline. My mrs was on citalopram and it worked wonders for her, but for some reason, my doctors don't seem to think i need medication.
They did give me propanalol and anti sickness to take as and when probably about a year ago, but it did jack st. I feel like i need a low dose of something more on a daily basis to just calm my over worrying mind, but the docs don't seem keen to give anything at the moment. Thanks for the reply
Do you feel guilty about pumping someone’s wife?I'll have to pluck up the courage to phone the helpline. My mrs was on citalopram and it worked wonders for her, but for some reason, my doctors don't seem to think i need medication.
They did give me propanalol and anti sickness to take as and when probably about a year ago, but it did jack s
t. I feel like i need a low dose of something more on a daily basis to just calm my over worrying mind, but the docs don't seem keen to give anything at the moment. Thanks for the reply Good luck with feeling better
James_N said:
I hope people don't mind me jumping in here and apologies for not reading the whole thread so far, but i thought this would be a good place to put my issues and see if anyone is experiencing or has experienced similar. Wasn't keen on starting my own thread! and i figured i wouldn't be judged too harshly here due to the subject matter!
I have a physical disability first off. Cerebral Palsy but i think compared to some people, i get away lightly with it. I think most on here are familiar with Nicholas Hamilton, a certain famous racing drivers brother, well i suffer with it around the same as he does.
Throughout my childhood and 20's, pretty normal really, the odd bit of bullying but nothing that i couldn't handle, it didn't bother me. I did lots of things in my 20s, enjoyed myself, worked a lot, i was single, didn't have any luck with the ladies but this didn't bother me too much, i had a good circle of friends at work, went for a few beers, had some nice cars and generally had a pretty laid back, comfortable life. Being single a lot did get me down sometimes, but i did some good things, had some nice holidays and went to Le Mans a lot!
Fast forward to 2014. a friend (i wouldn't call him a close friend as such, but someone i went to school with and few fairly often) and his then wife split up. She had an affair - with me. We had always been friendly, and she had been with him for 10 years or so, but they had grown apart and things just happened between us. They also had 2 kids (now 12 and 8). We got together, despite a LOT of hassle from her ex (understandably!) and its fair to say things haven't been easy for us. The kids have been dragged through a lot of crap, their dad has not been a good influence to them since splitting up, however, he is now remarried with another baby, but still causes us trouble occasionally The eldest has seen through the crap his dad has put him through and is now living with us, which is fine, and the youngest goes to his dads 50% of the time and 50% with us.
Anyway, thats by the by really. Our relationship has had its ups and downs like any. My partner (a nurse) suffered with anxiety after all this, but i supported her, and we got through it. We now have our own place and have been living here nearly 2 years now. We have spent an awful lot on it, getting it up to scratch and putting our stamp on it.
When we got together, i was overjoyed at finally having my first partner (at 31!) a late starter you may say!! I was always looking forward to our free weekends. It was an opportunity to take her away somewhere. We went to the lake district, as well as some more local places, and generally just enjoyed each others company and i tried my hardest to make sure we did nice things and went to nice places.
Since then though, I've struggled a lot with social anxiety. I've sort of tried to ignore it and hope it would go away, but over the years it has got worse, where I'm now at a point wondering where i go from here. There have been a few things, which i can pinpoint, which haven't helped.
1) We went to a restaurant in the lakes. It was a very nice, intimate fish restaurant. Small, only about 6 tables, lovely place, but i felt very uncomfortable in there. From the moment i got in there, and seated, the owner, never stopped staring at us. It made me feel very uneasy, to the point where, i couldn't wait to get out, and didn't even finish my meal.
2) Bullring Birmingham. Went there one day, had a Burrito. Ate it too fast, and ended up having to run to the nearest toilet to vomit it back up again.
TMI i know, but these two experiences seem to have stuck with me. and for ages after that and still now, i won't eat out. I get nauseus at the thought, hate eating out, and always have this irrational fear of eating out, and then feeling too full to move, or worry that I'm going to vomit.
I think this is where the crux of my problems come in as my social anxiety has been getting worse. After this, we still went for weekends away, but i would resort to just eating in the evening, where i knew then that i would just be retiring to my hotel room after the meal to relax. This didnt bother my partner, and she has just gotten used to eating when shes hungry, but just leaving me be. This was frustrating, but not the be all and end all, its only food after all!
Then a few years ago, we went to Nice. Now we both have a fear of flying, so we were both cacking it at the airport, but i felt horrible, I have a poor gag reflex anyway, but i was horrible, and gaggy in the airport, almost acting like i was going to vomit, such was the fear (this probably explains why i don't eat in the day now. No food in system = nothing to vomit, so i know im safe on that score!). However, once i was on the plane, i seemed to settle and was pretty much OK for the rest of the holiday
then probably 18 months ago, we took a long weekend to Harrogate. A lovely place, but i just couldn't relax at all. I felt horrible. Gaggy again in public, and really struggled with getting out and about. It was a lovely place and a nice hotel, but again i just couldn't relax and didn't enjoy it.
Things have gradually got worse really. I won't eat out now, and i feel like i struggle a lot with social anxiety. Lockdown hasn't helped, but i actually enjoyed lockdown because i was forced to not go anywhere - ideal for me!
Now i seem to be struggling on a daily basis. I'm a massive over thinker. a "what if" sort of person. What if this happens or what if that happens.
I never used to be like this before i got a girlfriend. I'm wondering if its just the pressures of having a family / girlfriend.
Being a nurse, she is very supportive, but this is dragging me down now. Ive phoned my GP on 2 occasions and they wont prescribe medication and just refer me to phoning a health and wellbeing service.
Has anyone experienced anything like this, have any suggestions on what i can try and do next?
Sorry for the long post.
Thank you
I have social anxiety too (amongst many other things). It took many months however I've been referred to a therapist which does weekly consultations. This is over the phone due to Covid but in normal circumstances it would've been face-to-face.I have a physical disability first off. Cerebral Palsy but i think compared to some people, i get away lightly with it. I think most on here are familiar with Nicholas Hamilton, a certain famous racing drivers brother, well i suffer with it around the same as he does.
Throughout my childhood and 20's, pretty normal really, the odd bit of bullying but nothing that i couldn't handle, it didn't bother me. I did lots of things in my 20s, enjoyed myself, worked a lot, i was single, didn't have any luck with the ladies but this didn't bother me too much, i had a good circle of friends at work, went for a few beers, had some nice cars and generally had a pretty laid back, comfortable life. Being single a lot did get me down sometimes, but i did some good things, had some nice holidays and went to Le Mans a lot!
Fast forward to 2014. a friend (i wouldn't call him a close friend as such, but someone i went to school with and few fairly often) and his then wife split up. She had an affair - with me. We had always been friendly, and she had been with him for 10 years or so, but they had grown apart and things just happened between us. They also had 2 kids (now 12 and 8). We got together, despite a LOT of hassle from her ex (understandably!) and its fair to say things haven't been easy for us. The kids have been dragged through a lot of crap, their dad has not been a good influence to them since splitting up, however, he is now remarried with another baby, but still causes us trouble occasionally The eldest has seen through the crap his dad has put him through and is now living with us, which is fine, and the youngest goes to his dads 50% of the time and 50% with us.
Anyway, thats by the by really. Our relationship has had its ups and downs like any. My partner (a nurse) suffered with anxiety after all this, but i supported her, and we got through it. We now have our own place and have been living here nearly 2 years now. We have spent an awful lot on it, getting it up to scratch and putting our stamp on it.
When we got together, i was overjoyed at finally having my first partner (at 31!) a late starter you may say!! I was always looking forward to our free weekends. It was an opportunity to take her away somewhere. We went to the lake district, as well as some more local places, and generally just enjoyed each others company and i tried my hardest to make sure we did nice things and went to nice places.
Since then though, I've struggled a lot with social anxiety. I've sort of tried to ignore it and hope it would go away, but over the years it has got worse, where I'm now at a point wondering where i go from here. There have been a few things, which i can pinpoint, which haven't helped.
1) We went to a restaurant in the lakes. It was a very nice, intimate fish restaurant. Small, only about 6 tables, lovely place, but i felt very uncomfortable in there. From the moment i got in there, and seated, the owner, never stopped staring at us. It made me feel very uneasy, to the point where, i couldn't wait to get out, and didn't even finish my meal.
2) Bullring Birmingham. Went there one day, had a Burrito. Ate it too fast, and ended up having to run to the nearest toilet to vomit it back up again.
TMI i know, but these two experiences seem to have stuck with me. and for ages after that and still now, i won't eat out. I get nauseus at the thought, hate eating out, and always have this irrational fear of eating out, and then feeling too full to move, or worry that I'm going to vomit.
I think this is where the crux of my problems come in as my social anxiety has been getting worse. After this, we still went for weekends away, but i would resort to just eating in the evening, where i knew then that i would just be retiring to my hotel room after the meal to relax. This didnt bother my partner, and she has just gotten used to eating when shes hungry, but just leaving me be. This was frustrating, but not the be all and end all, its only food after all!
Then a few years ago, we went to Nice. Now we both have a fear of flying, so we were both cacking it at the airport, but i felt horrible, I have a poor gag reflex anyway, but i was horrible, and gaggy in the airport, almost acting like i was going to vomit, such was the fear (this probably explains why i don't eat in the day now. No food in system = nothing to vomit, so i know im safe on that score!). However, once i was on the plane, i seemed to settle and was pretty much OK for the rest of the holiday
then probably 18 months ago, we took a long weekend to Harrogate. A lovely place, but i just couldn't relax at all. I felt horrible. Gaggy again in public, and really struggled with getting out and about. It was a lovely place and a nice hotel, but again i just couldn't relax and didn't enjoy it.
Things have gradually got worse really. I won't eat out now, and i feel like i struggle a lot with social anxiety. Lockdown hasn't helped, but i actually enjoyed lockdown because i was forced to not go anywhere - ideal for me!
Now i seem to be struggling on a daily basis. I'm a massive over thinker. a "what if" sort of person. What if this happens or what if that happens.
I never used to be like this before i got a girlfriend. I'm wondering if its just the pressures of having a family / girlfriend.
Being a nurse, she is very supportive, but this is dragging me down now. Ive phoned my GP on 2 occasions and they wont prescribe medication and just refer me to phoning a health and wellbeing service.
Has anyone experienced anything like this, have any suggestions on what i can try and do next?
Sorry for the long post.
Thank you
The first step is to go to your GP and ask for a referral. I was initially offered online course (SilverCloud) which comes with x3 loosely supervised sessions. It was ok but not for me. I kept pushing and now have been assigned someone I can talk to, which is much better.
Have a look at the link below. I think I've even tried emailing one of the services found in the link and it helped my referral.
https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/ment...
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