Really depressed
Discussion
Just got in - long day on the road, etc.
Reading through these comments from last night to now is very encouraging. I'm stoked you're in a better frame of mind Rob. It comes across that way at least. Just saying you're gonna have an early night speaks volumes. Sleep well ole bean. Tomorrow's a new day
Reading through these comments from last night to now is very encouraging. I'm stoked you're in a better frame of mind Rob. It comes across that way at least. Just saying you're gonna have an early night speaks volumes. Sleep well ole bean. Tomorrow's a new day
Robster said:
Hi guys it's really helpful for me to be able to post on here and express my feelings, today has been tough although feeling positive I've just felt absolutely shattered which then doesn't help with getting out of bed , on a positive note I had a surprise visit from some friends to come offer there support , lots of tears and emotion but I have nothing to hide anymore, thank you for the offers of meeting up tonight but it's been a very long day so I'm going to get an early night , hope to do it soon though , thanks again everyone , I'll keep on posting if that's ok , don't want it to be one sided maybe I can help someone else out at some point
Just reading back it is obvious you have been having a hell of a time but the outpouring of care by fellow PH posters is amazing.The issues with antidepressants is you were obviously on one's that were not agreeing with you but when you change it will take a while for the new ones to work. This will be the reason you felt worse after starting the new ones.
Sleeping tablets help after a few nights but the next day you will feel terrible. These leave you exhausted and will make your depression worse. If you can stop these in time it will make a huge difference.
I was on 6-7 different antidepressants until I received the correct ones which helped. Don't be scared to go back to the doctor if you still feel rubbish after a few weeks. Make sure you book a few appointment with your doctor now. This will prevent you from having to wait weeks to get to see a doctor. You can always cancel if not required.
One or two steps below which you may find helpful
1. When going to bed put headphones on and listen to the following. This will help you concentrate on the sound and help you fall asleep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f77SKdyn-1Y
This one is a meditation. Helps calm the brain and thoughts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6PZqX1mA74
2. Try and stay away from alcohol if you can. Helps at the time but you can then start using it daily to escape the feelings. This will only land in future issues.
3. This might sound a bit out there but if you can find a local crystal shop which stocks crystals go and spend some time in there. You can buy a small crystal for around a pound and just put it in your pocket. Yes this sounds a bit out there but many people find peace of mind with a crystal being on them.
Details here
Malachite and zircon can help depression especially if it's linked to insomnia and keeping you up at night. Aqua aura and gold will help if you feel weighed down with burdens. Tiger's eye is a “feel better” stone and will lift you out of the doldrums. Quartz crystal and citrine may also help this.
4. It is clear you still love your ex. But try and have no contact with her. If you want to try again in the future then show her how good you can be once you are feeling better. But just concentrate 100% on you just now. I stayed in my room for 3 weeks until my tablets started helping. Do not be worried about what people think just do what you need to do for yourself.
The main thing is when you feel down you think things will not improve. I was rock bottom and could not see a way out around 15 year ago. Thankfully I did not succeed in taking my life and I am so glad I was not successful.
Again listen to the positive messages from others on here. It might not click yet but in a few years time you will be very glad you are still here having the time of your life. Stay strong :-)
This thread just shows how much good there is in the world. It really has hit me in a very sensitive place.
Rob, about 5 years ago, during my second year of university, depression hit me like a freight train. No need to explain why, it's all swings and roundabouts. Let's just say I was with somebody that wasn't very nice. I lost a full year of my life to depression. I put on a smile and kept up appearances and not one single person knew exactly what the problem was. Being a low-twenties guy, I felt like I couldn't let anybody know how I felt. During the day, I coped. During the night, it was the most dark and long drawn out situation I've ever experienced. Loneliness was not a friend.
Once I came out the other side (by a good few months I might add) - I spoke about it with friends. They all said they knew something was up; weight loss, small changes that I couldn't hide etc. Even just letting them know AFTER it had happened to me felt like a lead weight off my shoulders. So bravo to you for not only having the self respect, but the bravery to talk about it whilst you're battling with it.
It's the old cliche, "give it time" - which I thought was utter bull. I was giving it time, I was giving it almost a year and felt like I was never coming out of it. After a particularly rough few weeks, something just gave. I can't describe it and I won't pretend that I can, but all of a sudden I just began to decide that I WAS BETTER THAN DEPRESSION. You've taken a much better approach to it that I did, and I salute you for that.
It took another few months for me to start to rebuild myself, but I did.
You will too.
PH familia
Rob, about 5 years ago, during my second year of university, depression hit me like a freight train. No need to explain why, it's all swings and roundabouts. Let's just say I was with somebody that wasn't very nice. I lost a full year of my life to depression. I put on a smile and kept up appearances and not one single person knew exactly what the problem was. Being a low-twenties guy, I felt like I couldn't let anybody know how I felt. During the day, I coped. During the night, it was the most dark and long drawn out situation I've ever experienced. Loneliness was not a friend.
Once I came out the other side (by a good few months I might add) - I spoke about it with friends. They all said they knew something was up; weight loss, small changes that I couldn't hide etc. Even just letting them know AFTER it had happened to me felt like a lead weight off my shoulders. So bravo to you for not only having the self respect, but the bravery to talk about it whilst you're battling with it.
It's the old cliche, "give it time" - which I thought was utter bull. I was giving it time, I was giving it almost a year and felt like I was never coming out of it. After a particularly rough few weeks, something just gave. I can't describe it and I won't pretend that I can, but all of a sudden I just began to decide that I WAS BETTER THAN DEPRESSION. You've taken a much better approach to it that I did, and I salute you for that.
It took another few months for me to start to rebuild myself, but I did.
You will too.
PH familia
Edited by Jonno02 on Thursday 22 September 15:20
Hi Robster,
I am a fellow sufferer but doing well lately thanks to medical intervention which I am slowly coming off with guidance from my doctor and coping strategies I learned from attending CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy sessions)
The reason I decided to post is to give you some perspective from the other side of the fence. Last November my young brother (28) decided to take his own life. I got a phonecall at work, it was my father, 'Um bad news', I knew by his tone this was serious. My first thought was my brother, he had been out of sorts lately and despite efforts to get him to seek help or talk to a doctor we couldn't get him to go (and despite what people might think, you cannot force someone to do something they don't want to do - its more complicated than that anyway but I'd rather not go into it here). Anyway I just said in a panicked voice 'Kevin!', my Dad broke down crying 'Oh God Pat I don't know how to tell you....I found him....(I won't go into more detail than that out of respect for my brother's, my father's and my own privacy).
I work with my other brother so I had to go and find him and tell him, I then phoned my wife and asked her to come and collect me as I could barely stand let alone drive (looking back this was selfish as she was as close to him as I was), so we rushed to the hospital in silence, hoping that somehow they had been able to revive him in the ambulance or when he got to the hospital. When we got there, parked up ran inside and went to A+E a nurse approached us, asked me if I was Pat, I said yes, and they brought me to a room where my parents were waiting and Kevin was in the bed. My Dad looked at me and said he's gone and we all embraced and sobbed for about 5 minutes. I then sat down as I contemplated what it all meant, the life he wouldn't have the wife the kids, that I'd never be able to just talk to him again, how much I was going to miss him, all the things I wish I'd said etc.....
The next week is a blur of well wishers, sandwiches made by neighbours, no sleep, the all to horrible realisation that nothing can fix this, that someone whom you loved and counted on and assumed you'd grow old with is now never going to be there again and you try to make sense of it all but there just isn't any way to do that because its so final and sudden that your mind struggles to cope with the enormity of it all.
You discuss funeral arrangements in disbelief, try to do right by the loved one lost because you know its the last thing you'll ever get to do for them. You do a reading or a reflection, you lower their body into the ground and you leave.
I'll never be ok with the fact that my brother died and it affects me every day even now almost a year later and I expect it will affect me every day for the rest of my life.
I suppose I'm writing this to try and get across 1% of what its like to be ONE of the individuals affected by suicide. Its awful its horrible its sudden and so so final. You need to realise that your kids love you, even if you don't love yourself. You need to fight with everything you have (which is more than you think) find the health professional that can help you, tell them you are having thoughts of self harm and need help. It is available and effective if you ask for it. I am living proof. Do not take that ultimate step, it solves nothing and leaves a void that can never be filled.
PM me if you ever need to.
I am a fellow sufferer but doing well lately thanks to medical intervention which I am slowly coming off with guidance from my doctor and coping strategies I learned from attending CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy sessions)
The reason I decided to post is to give you some perspective from the other side of the fence. Last November my young brother (28) decided to take his own life. I got a phonecall at work, it was my father, 'Um bad news', I knew by his tone this was serious. My first thought was my brother, he had been out of sorts lately and despite efforts to get him to seek help or talk to a doctor we couldn't get him to go (and despite what people might think, you cannot force someone to do something they don't want to do - its more complicated than that anyway but I'd rather not go into it here). Anyway I just said in a panicked voice 'Kevin!', my Dad broke down crying 'Oh God Pat I don't know how to tell you....I found him....(I won't go into more detail than that out of respect for my brother's, my father's and my own privacy).
I work with my other brother so I had to go and find him and tell him, I then phoned my wife and asked her to come and collect me as I could barely stand let alone drive (looking back this was selfish as she was as close to him as I was), so we rushed to the hospital in silence, hoping that somehow they had been able to revive him in the ambulance or when he got to the hospital. When we got there, parked up ran inside and went to A+E a nurse approached us, asked me if I was Pat, I said yes, and they brought me to a room where my parents were waiting and Kevin was in the bed. My Dad looked at me and said he's gone and we all embraced and sobbed for about 5 minutes. I then sat down as I contemplated what it all meant, the life he wouldn't have the wife the kids, that I'd never be able to just talk to him again, how much I was going to miss him, all the things I wish I'd said etc.....
The next week is a blur of well wishers, sandwiches made by neighbours, no sleep, the all to horrible realisation that nothing can fix this, that someone whom you loved and counted on and assumed you'd grow old with is now never going to be there again and you try to make sense of it all but there just isn't any way to do that because its so final and sudden that your mind struggles to cope with the enormity of it all.
You discuss funeral arrangements in disbelief, try to do right by the loved one lost because you know its the last thing you'll ever get to do for them. You do a reading or a reflection, you lower their body into the ground and you leave.
I'll never be ok with the fact that my brother died and it affects me every day even now almost a year later and I expect it will affect me every day for the rest of my life.
I suppose I'm writing this to try and get across 1% of what its like to be ONE of the individuals affected by suicide. Its awful its horrible its sudden and so so final. You need to realise that your kids love you, even if you don't love yourself. You need to fight with everything you have (which is more than you think) find the health professional that can help you, tell them you are having thoughts of self harm and need help. It is available and effective if you ask for it. I am living proof. Do not take that ultimate step, it solves nothing and leaves a void that can never be filled.
PM me if you ever need to.
Evening Rob,
We all have bad days, but perseverance is key! Is there anything you can try and get to do during the day to try and curb the day sleeping? A walk would do the trick, anything to try and break the cycle!
Remember, tomorrow is another day, we all can only ever do our best and you certainly seem like you're doing yours to get through the depression.
Keep your head up Rob, one day at a time!
We all have bad days, but perseverance is key! Is there anything you can try and get to do during the day to try and curb the day sleeping? A walk would do the trick, anything to try and break the cycle!
Remember, tomorrow is another day, we all can only ever do our best and you certainly seem like you're doing yours to get through the depression.
Keep your head up Rob, one day at a time!
Evening Rob.
Good that you're getting some sleep regardless and don't be hard on yourself - go with the flow for a bit. A stroll in the morning will help - bit of fresh air somewhere quiet .
Deep breaths in for five seconds from the diaphragm, holding for five and breathing out for five out of your mouth is a great way to relax the body and mind - you can do it anywhere and anytime. I do it all the time!
Also have a google about shiatsu massage - amazing how it makes you feel - very good for the body and mind. Can recommend someone if you fancy giving it a go but no hurry.
Am around anytime if you want to meet up for a chat or email offline.
Good that you're getting some sleep regardless and don't be hard on yourself - go with the flow for a bit. A stroll in the morning will help - bit of fresh air somewhere quiet .
Deep breaths in for five seconds from the diaphragm, holding for five and breathing out for five out of your mouth is a great way to relax the body and mind - you can do it anywhere and anytime. I do it all the time!
Also have a google about shiatsu massage - amazing how it makes you feel - very good for the body and mind. Can recommend someone if you fancy giving it a go but no hurry.
Am around anytime if you want to meet up for a chat or email offline.
Hi Rob
Important to remember, as you go through this process of recovery, you WILL have good days and bad days, seemingly at random.
That is how it is, and do not let yourself think this means you have failed in any way. It's all part of the recovery.
If one day seems not so great, don't worry, forget about it, the next one will be better.
Important to remember, as you go through this process of recovery, you WILL have good days and bad days, seemingly at random.
That is how it is, and do not let yourself think this means you have failed in any way. It's all part of the recovery.
If one day seems not so great, don't worry, forget about it, the next one will be better.
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