Alcoholism? Help Needed.....
Discussion
Folks...many thanks for your replies...and I appreciate the humour also.... :-)
Certainly there was no drinking during pregnancy and for the few months after the arrival. It just seems to have slipped into the daily routine over the last 6 months.
I'd also say, getting into a state where words are slurred and she's bumping into things only happens once a week at most - so it's not a constant issue as such.
It's the hiding of drink that's the real worry, this was in a sealable plastic beaker, not a baby cup....and I tasted it just incase it was mouthwash or something...but it was definately vodka - mixed with lemonade I think.
I absolutely appreciate that having a baby is an absolute headf*ck....although she goes to her Granny and Grampa on a Thursday and Friday and I obviously share the load at the weekend, so it's not a constant 7 days a week full on workload...although I'm not saying that Mon, Tue, Wed aren't hard work - but there is respite there and I do feel we're lucky to have it - having said all of that I know she's had a hard time adjusting to new life....and it's not been a smooth ride.
I know I need to raise the issue with her and you're right - the all guns blazing approach will just fail badly....I don't nag her about drinking....although I don't drink with the nipper around as I feel there's always the chance you have to jump into the car if she ever takes ill....and I have mentioned this in the past....so maybe there's a guilt thing there...??
God I feel so bad about this....I even took a photo of the vodka bottle in the house before I left to try and figure out if this is going on during the day too...
Certainly there was no drinking during pregnancy and for the few months after the arrival. It just seems to have slipped into the daily routine over the last 6 months.
I'd also say, getting into a state where words are slurred and she's bumping into things only happens once a week at most - so it's not a constant issue as such.
It's the hiding of drink that's the real worry, this was in a sealable plastic beaker, not a baby cup....and I tasted it just incase it was mouthwash or something...but it was definately vodka - mixed with lemonade I think.
I absolutely appreciate that having a baby is an absolute headf*ck....although she goes to her Granny and Grampa on a Thursday and Friday and I obviously share the load at the weekend, so it's not a constant 7 days a week full on workload...although I'm not saying that Mon, Tue, Wed aren't hard work - but there is respite there and I do feel we're lucky to have it - having said all of that I know she's had a hard time adjusting to new life....and it's not been a smooth ride.
I know I need to raise the issue with her and you're right - the all guns blazing approach will just fail badly....I don't nag her about drinking....although I don't drink with the nipper around as I feel there's always the chance you have to jump into the car if she ever takes ill....and I have mentioned this in the past....so maybe there's a guilt thing there...??
God I feel so bad about this....I even took a photo of the vodka bottle in the house before I left to try and figure out if this is going on during the day too...
So....I've not had a chat yet. Time hasn't been right, I did a little more rooting around this morning though before I went to work. Vodka bottle is fuller than it was yesterday, plastic container still in bathroom cabinet, and there's also a glass stashed in there. I think the container in the bathroom contains vodka + mixer of some kind.
Some of you have mentioned PND. I was concerned about this a few months ago as she was very tearful and behaviour was erratic. I suggested that she should see a GP who only suggested anti-depressants which she felt wasn't an acceptable solution. Subsequently seen a counsellor - although what she's been discussing with them I've not been privy to and I don't particularly feel it's my position to ask. However, I have since been accused of suggesting to her that she was "mad" and "forcing" her to go to a GP.......so it's obviously a touchy subject.
I'm actually concerned for her and my daughter. I'm really worried about what happens during the day now. I'm fairly convinced there's no drinking during the day, but why go to the effort of concealing drink?
I'm ashamed to admit it but I'm also angry that she'd put our little girl in that position. She needs two parents she can rely on. At the moment I don't think that's the case. Sorry for the rant. I need to have a chat this weekend, probably tonight as little one is with grandparents. Not looking forward to it - not sure how to start....not sure "how are you doing?" will open things up.....or start with "I don't think we should drink in the house...." and bring the issue up..
Some of you have mentioned PND. I was concerned about this a few months ago as she was very tearful and behaviour was erratic. I suggested that she should see a GP who only suggested anti-depressants which she felt wasn't an acceptable solution. Subsequently seen a counsellor - although what she's been discussing with them I've not been privy to and I don't particularly feel it's my position to ask. However, I have since been accused of suggesting to her that she was "mad" and "forcing" her to go to a GP.......so it's obviously a touchy subject.
I'm actually concerned for her and my daughter. I'm really worried about what happens during the day now. I'm fairly convinced there's no drinking during the day, but why go to the effort of concealing drink?
I'm ashamed to admit it but I'm also angry that she'd put our little girl in that position. She needs two parents she can rely on. At the moment I don't think that's the case. Sorry for the rant. I need to have a chat this weekend, probably tonight as little one is with grandparents. Not looking forward to it - not sure how to start....not sure "how are you doing?" will open things up.....or start with "I don't think we should drink in the house...." and bring the issue up..
Hi folks, so I managed the chat last night after the little one went to sleep. She knew that I'd found her stash, probably because I'd made it fairly obvious.
Anyway she had a fairly emotional outburst about not being able to cope. About feeling useless, and unattractive and a bad mother. That she felt nothing would last and it would all end badly because that's what always happens to her.
I found this heartbreaking.
I'm assuming by what I've read that as some of you have already mentioned that it's PND in some shape or form.
I'm furious with her GP who offered her nothing apart from anti depressants - which was not what she wants. Apparently the waiting list for counseling was too long for the GP to feel it was worth it!!! Sounds to me like she's been hung out to dry and has struggled as a result.
She has had some cbt privately, but I got the feeling she just didn't feel she engaged with the counsellor.
So not sure what to do next.....are there any agencies that specialise in pnd treatment?
Anyway she had a fairly emotional outburst about not being able to cope. About feeling useless, and unattractive and a bad mother. That she felt nothing would last and it would all end badly because that's what always happens to her.
I found this heartbreaking.
I'm assuming by what I've read that as some of you have already mentioned that it's PND in some shape or form.
I'm furious with her GP who offered her nothing apart from anti depressants - which was not what she wants. Apparently the waiting list for counseling was too long for the GP to feel it was worth it!!! Sounds to me like she's been hung out to dry and has struggled as a result.
She has had some cbt privately, but I got the feeling she just didn't feel she engaged with the counsellor.
So not sure what to do next.....are there any agencies that specialise in pnd treatment?
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