What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
This week, Mr Friendy Friend managed to forget to pay the Congestion Charge for two consecutive days, and even failed to pay it the day after, not once but twice. He has also received an NIP for hoonage, but cannot find where he has put it, while the deadline for sending it back fast approaches.
irocfan said:
nearly 30 years ago 'my friend' was waiting to turn left at a T-junction, when lights turned green he felt it would be appropriate to boot (1977 2.8i Commodore Coupe) it so he was going arse-out up the road which was all well and good until the traffic pol car waiting to go straight on thought said hoonage was not in accordance with best driving practise. Luckily enough for him said BiB car was singly occupied at that point and so he got let off with a warning.
a couple of years ago a different friend (M1) was driving an F350 dually (c.22 feet long) coming back with a mate (M2) driving another dually (same length). M2 broke down in Dartford so being a bright couple of lads they decided to use a 6' rope so that M1 could tow him... through the tunnel.. past J31... past J30... past J29 when a short fat copper stopped them "what the f
k are you doing towing THAT on my motorway? Next fking junction you're off!" "but we've..." "I don't care what you've... OFF!" luckily the next junction was their turn-off anyway.
Just a polite reminder that this thread is for stories about your friend. It is not for stories about your friend.a couple of years ago a different friend (M1) was driving an F350 dually (c.22 feet long) coming back with a mate (M2) driving another dually (same length). M2 broke down in Dartford so being a bright couple of lads they decided to use a 6' rope so that M1 could tow him... through the tunnel.. past J31... past J30... past J29 when a short fat copper stopped them "what the f
k are you doing towing THAT on my motorway? Next fking junction you're off!" "but we've..." "I don't care what you've... OFF!" luckily the next junction was their turn-off anyway.Back in the mid 90s my friend decided to improve the interior of his 1967 Cal-look Beetle with some new carpet.
Rather than pay for a specially cut set, he thought he'd be able to do it himself using the left over carpet that had just been laid in his parents house. It didn't go to plan and looked horrific, both in execution and colour.
The same friend also stated that running a car over a watch wouldn't break the watch as a) watches are pretty compact inside and b) the tyres would give a little. he was so confident that at 4.35pm he demonstrated this to is disbelieving but encouraging mates. Later that evening someone asked for the time, my friend look at his watch and replied 'It's... 4.35 still'.
Rather than pay for a specially cut set, he thought he'd be able to do it himself using the left over carpet that had just been laid in his parents house. It didn't go to plan and looked horrific, both in execution and colour.
The same friend also stated that running a car over a watch wouldn't break the watch as a) watches are pretty compact inside and b) the tyres would give a little. he was so confident that at 4.35pm he demonstrated this to is disbelieving but encouraging mates. Later that evening someone asked for the time, my friend look at his watch and replied 'It's... 4.35 still'.
Quite a few (although not all) of the stories on this page appear to be about people's friends. I again politely remind Hon Members that they are only supposed to post stories about their friends, and are not supposed to post stories about their friends. I hope that has cleared that one up, er, again.
My friend bought a cheapo POS Rice Rocket (1999 Honda Accord Coupe 2.0 VTEC) on eBay for some buttons, to give to his brother, who is down on his luck. The car evidently looked so dodgy on its slightly (very) Barried after market wheels that a geezer in a van approached my friend at a fuel station and tried to sell him a telly*. My friend pretended to be French and the geezer went away. Honi soit qui mal y pense. Then my friend took the car to his brother, but the nearside wheel arch liner caught fire when the aircon compressor bearing collapsed and showered hot metal onto the plastic. At one point chunks of burning plastic were to be seen by following motorists spaffing off the car. All turned out well in the end, and some dude in a shed is going to fit a shorter belt from crank to alternator bypassing the aircon pulley. FFS, the thing's got windows, ain't it?
* Yes, this was in Manchester.
* Yes, this was in Manchester.
My friend's latest manky old shed is a 1989/90 BMW. The car is evidently haunted by a 1989/90 BMW driver, as just today my friend:-
(1) jumped a long line of cars that, unbeknown (genuinely!) to my friend, were waiting for some temporary traffic lights at roadworks to change; and
(2) indicated late for a left turn and got honked by white-van-driver-up-your-chuff.
Plainly, the stripy shirt clad ghost is a tad weak, because my friend was able to operate the indicator, even if he did so late. A stronger ghost-yuppie would have stopped any use of the indicator. Still, at least with (1), my friend showed all the modern Audi drivers how driving like a is really done, old school stylee.
(1) jumped a long line of cars that, unbeknown (genuinely!) to my friend, were waiting for some temporary traffic lights at roadworks to change; and
(2) indicated late for a left turn and got honked by white-van-driver-up-your-chuff.
Plainly, the stripy shirt clad ghost is a tad weak, because my friend was able to operate the indicator, even if he did so late. A stronger ghost-yuppie would have stopped any use of the indicator. Still, at least with (1), my friend showed all the modern Audi drivers how driving like a
is really done, old school stylee. My friend had an E30 325i between 1989 and 1992, when he was aged 27 to 30 and was a vile yuppie. He often drove it like a . He grew old only by waiting to be let out at junctions, as no fker would let a BMW out, and he had to wait for another BMW to come along, and even then they wouldn't let him out because the driver of the other BMW would invariably be a . If he had not sold the car he would probably still be stuck at the same junction now.
. He grew old only by waiting to be let out at junctions, as no fker would let a BMW out, and he had to wait for another BMW to come along, and even then they wouldn't let him out because the driver of the other BMW would invariably be a . If he had not sold the car he would probably still be stuck at the same junction now. When my friend was that vile yuppie in his E30, he did something not dissimilar near the Blackwall Tunnel, by accident, (no, really!) and was pulled over and spoken to most severely by two cozzers in an SD1. Only the fact that his then girlfriend was a Chanel Number Five fragranced Sloaney hottie who turned on the charm with the Peelers saved him from a right shoeing by the local Mags.
When my friend was about seventeen he was in his then girlfriend's living room - becoming more warmly acquainted with her than hitherto - when her mum arrived home unexpectedly. He hid behind the sofa. Mrs Girlfriend's-Mum waited a couple of minutes before saying "are you going to come out now?"
This was a real life version of a probably apocryphal story told about Maurice Bowra. My friend first heard that story a year or two later and was able to say whatever was the 1980s equivalent of "been there, done that".
This was a real life version of a probably apocryphal story told about Maurice Bowra. My friend first heard that story a year or two later and was able to say whatever was the 1980s equivalent of "been there, done that".
My friend claims that he once became especially friendly with a woman of his acquaintance while she was sitting on his lap in the crowded bar at Kettner's on Romilly Street, early one evening. It so happened that the woman was the same person who had once been my friend's seventeen year old girlfriend, but they had struck up a renewed, er, friendship when in their forties. Not long after the ex girlfriend had removed herself from my friend's lap, her hard working but frankly rather dull investment banker husband arrived to meet her for a pre-theatre drink, and my friend was off behind a pillar and out of the door in a timely manner. My friend has since reformed his behaviour and is no longer that sort of rotter.
My friend put a CD of 70s bangin' choonze into the stereo of his 70s car. He heard the beginning of a track that sounded pretty fab, and started to mosh vigorously while driving, Wayne's World stylee. Too late he realised that the track was "Wild Horses" by the Osmonds. My friend will never be allowed to live this down.
My friend had gone down to six points but is now back up to nine and has to drive like his Nan until at least February. He is a tt.
He also nearly pranged his 1970s jalopy by being a dozy get, although to be fair he was helped in this numptitude by someone parking a car without parking lights and covered in mud in an unlit 40 mph zone (wot is against the Highway Code innit).
t.He also nearly pranged his 1970s jalopy by being a dozy get, although to be fair he was helped in this numptitude by someone parking a car without parking lights and covered in mud in an unlit 40 mph zone (wot is against the Highway Code innit).
Serves the precious GTR tt right for being a precious GTR tt. It's only a car, FFS. Anyway, the cat can look at the Queen, as my old Mum might say.
PS:
Two Nuns driving through Transylvania. Suddenly Count Dracula jumps onto the bonnet of their car.
Sister Agnes: "Quick, Sister Mary, show him your cross!"
Sister Mary: "OK. [To Dracula]: Get off the fking car, you pointy toothed fker!"
(This is, BTW, believed to be the same Sister Mary who later features in the Pearly Gates basin of Holy Water gag.)
t right for being a precious GTR tt. It's only a car, FFS. Anyway, the cat can look at the Queen, as my old Mum might say.PS:
Two Nuns driving through Transylvania. Suddenly Count Dracula jumps onto the bonnet of their car.
Sister Agnes: "Quick, Sister Mary, show him your cross!"
Sister Mary: "OK. [To Dracula]: Get off the f
king car, you pointy toothed fker!"(This is, BTW, believed to be the same Sister Mary who later features in the Pearly Gates basin of Holy Water gag.)
irocfan said:
Breadvan72 said:
Serves the precious GTR tt right for being a precious GTR tt. It's only a car, FFS. Anyway, the cat can look at the Queen, as my old
what's wrong with wanting to keep your nice car err nice?t right for being a precious GTR tt. It's only a car, FFS. Anyway, the cat can look at the Queen, as my oldGassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff