RE: Say hi to the new guy
Discussion
S1_RS said:
RockDoctor said:
I think his head is a slightly funny shape, but I like the look of him.
If you think his heads a funny shape you should see his knob, best described as a button mushroom taped to a dwarf carrot. Please don't ask how I know though. 
, 
. hello sire.), are you. 
Gorm said:
Yes, the abnormal shape of his head is due to the fact that he didn't experience a normal birth...I can vouch for that fact...I was there.
Good luck Scroff!;)
Oh good lord, his Dad's popped in. That is definitely a PH first. Good luck Scroff!;)
Glad to have you on board Alex. I wasn't around much today so you won't have had a chance to get this tattooed under your eyelids just yet, but coffee, white, quite strong, one sugar. Ta.
blindswelledrat said:
To be honest I think it is pretty cruel of PH to make thier newest employee post a picture of himself on the front page.
As if they didn't know what they were doing.
Poor bloke is going to have all kind of complexes from day 1
Agreed As if they didn't know what they were doing.
Poor bloke is going to have all kind of complexes from day 1
Imaging getting home from any other new job on your first day and the wife asks how it went...
"Hey, it's Mr upwardly-mobile-PistonHeads-editorial-team-career-fancy-pants! How was your first day?"
"Yeah, OK. Not too bad. Y'know work’s work. Bills need paying"
"Oh, you set off really excited this morning. So, err, good bunch?"
"On the whole. Yeah, some really nice ones actually, made me feel quite welcome. Bit of chat about the cars I’ve had. Yeah, some of them seem OK"
"OK, and the others? What's the story – what are you not saying?"
"Well... OK, following a brief intro from the boss this morning, loads and I do mean properly loads of my customers started a feeding frenzy of personal abuse, public as you like - about my name, my beard, my weight, about my BMW giving me a trouser bulge, my hair colour and how I could get a disability badge because of it, the windmill I was standing next and how it looked a bit penisy – seriously, ‘penisy’ is not even a proper word, I looked it up”,
“You sure it wasn’t just a bit of ribbing and banter?”
“They also said that I have large nostrils, that I look a little fruity and that I'm not as good as some other guy who works here called Chris Harris - like I've even had a chance to show them yet! Unbelievable..”
“Whoa, that seems a bit harsh”
“Actually, here’s another thing; the shape of my head. I mean, seriously, they were really piling in and ganging up on me about the shape of my head! Someone even got a lego man picture from the internet and was saying that it reminded them of me. I tried to give a bit of banter back, y’know, to look like it was all a joke and that I didn’t mind, but, but.. y’know what it’s like when I start to get emotional. I was so tempted to either punch my screen or just walk out. My hands were really sweating and I've had a dry mouth all day"
"Bloody hell. Did your new Boss see this going on? Didn’t he intervene?"
"Oh, don’t talk to me about the new Boss! He’s not the guy I thought he was during the selection process. He didn’t help one bit – actually he made it worse! They all hang off his every word and he knows it - he was using me as shark-bait to whip them into frenzy. He was saying in front of millions of them that I wasn't making enough tea for him and was saying he fancied some cake! Tea and cake! He was saying it in front of everyone! I'm a professional, picked for the job as one of the finest in my sector, or so he said last month.. And he's now openly mocking me as the new frickin tea-boy!”
“You’re not the tea-boy”
“He also said in front of them all that I'm expected to wrestle with him a lot - I've just checked my contract and my notes; we definitely didn't discuss that at the interview, I'm 100% on that. Seriously, 100%."
“I’m actually shocked. What are you going to do?”
“Seriously, I don’t want to wrestle with him. Or any of the others in the office. He says we ‘always’ do it and some of them grinned at me when he said it.”
"Well, it’s day one, they can always be strange what with meeting lots of new people – maybe a fresh start tomorrow.."
“I don’t want to wrestle with them”
“Yes, I hear you on that point. Well, try and relax. Do you want to watch a film tonight?”
"Nah. I need to have a shower. I think I’ll see if the guys at Performance Ford fancy a drink later..."
. 
, it only gets 
Wow! I'm astonished (and genuinely slightly humbled) by the amount of replies. Don't worry, I have a fairly thick skin (I think) so thanks all (including the parent :P ) for the 'robust' welcome; no neuroses incurred and all taken in jest. In fairness, I wouldn't have expected anything less, especially after posing in front of a windmill while stroking the rear wing of my own car for a photo!
Custard photo when I can. That I will doubtless be considered ginger until then is noted. That I will probably still be considered ginger thereafter is, with a sigh, accepted.
Lego man is an interesting comparison, and not one I've heard before. Might well nick that photo to use as a profile pic somewhere, though!
Worry not! The E39 is a manual. It may have soft suspension and wood trim, but it is at least a slush-free zone.
And a special mention to MattUK for transcribing what just happened in my life frighteningly well. (Kidding. I did enjoy the read, though - bravo!)
Custard photo when I can. That I will doubtless be considered ginger until then is noted. That I will probably still be considered ginger thereafter is, with a sigh, accepted.
Lego man is an interesting comparison, and not one I've heard before. Might well nick that photo to use as a profile pic somewhere, though!
Worry not! The E39 is a manual. It may have soft suspension and wood trim, but it is at least a slush-free zone.
And a special mention to MattUK for transcribing what just happened in my life frighteningly well. (Kidding. I did enjoy the read, though - bravo!)
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