A nice car is just a penis extension?

[anonymous-user]

DickyC said:

My plan to buy a DB7 for my retirement is now the subject of much soul searching. Why exactly do I need an Aston? I don't really need one. Was I thinking of buying it for the right reasons? There are no Right Reasons. It's just vanity. Foo.

Thank you Penis Extension thread for spoiling that little dream.

Have you driven one? 2nd biggest motoring disappointment of my life; It's like an even more shoddy XJ-S with a better (but not as much better as you'd hoped) V12. A friend picked up a Vantage last year and reliability has been like an even more shoddy XJ-S too.

DB9s are getting very cheap now...

[endo]

bad_panda said:

Diadigdav said:

Schermerhorn said:

I notice this in Britain alot. Envy of other people's success and their cars REALLY seems to be a thing here.

Definitely this. In my last job the two owners sold part of the company for quite afew million. Being car enthusiasts they decided to treat themselves including a F12, 488 Pista and Bently Bentayga. Some people that worked there acted so bitter about the fact they were able to afford nice things after building a business for 15 years!

The car lovers there were just excited about being able to get close to them, ask questions and for some lucky ones get a ride in them.

Yeah I think there's something in this. I've travelled a fair bit and have never seen the same kind of bitterness or resentment anywhere else, even in places where the rich/poor divide is much higher.

Also as I've got older I've realised that many people fail the "true friend" test if you ask yourself "Would they be genuinely happy to see me succeed?". Unfortunately in most cases the answer to that seems to be no. Or maybe it's just me! But most people seem to be more inclined towards only wanting others to succeed just that little bit less than themselves, otherwise it then almost becomes a kind of threat if others' success surpasses their own (however they define that).

A good mate of mine ended up being very successful in the music business (famous too) and despite him always being very humble, almost reluctant to even talk about it, the number of his so-called friends who seemed to be constantly waiting for him to fail was really sad. I remember another lad from school who had zero success with women but ended up with a smoking hot (and apparently very nice) wife. A lot of his "mates" were constantly saying it would never last, almost willing his marriage to fail.
In my experience people who are genuinely happy for others are rare.

What do you non-British PistonHeads reckon? Are we mostly a complete ghastly shower of resentful b*stards and is this an exclusively British trait?!

As someone non British, (but a citizen), having grown up on multiple continents and visited most of the globe, and moved alot around Britain, it's a very British trait.

Americans who most British would stereotype as having a penchant for brash overt displays of wealth, are far more congratulatory towards success, turn up in a nice car, wear nice clothes, have a fancy watch and you'll get a nice compliment.

British folk in my experience, are quite resent full of other peoples success, its all great if the individual has nice stuff but god forbid someone else likes nice things.

It's always who spent x amount for that new car in the carpark?, bet its on the drip, or they live in a hole. (followed by a search on PH for how much x car was)
HOW MUCH?? much was that watch, item of clothing, bottle of wine
Flash C**t, you went to Waitrose (trust me, they do good whisky deals, it's worth visiting from time to time)

It's a very weird cultural thing, never really experienced it anywhere else.

It's the main reason, i dress like a tramp, don't discuss car plans, and am fortunate enough that my colleagues can't tell the difference between Goyard and George by Asda

[DickyC]

stickleback123 said:

DickyC said:

My plan to buy a DB7 for my retirement is now the subject of much soul searching. Why exactly do I need an Aston? I don't really need one. Was I thinking of buying it for the right reasons? There are no Right Reasons. It's just vanity. Foo.

Thank you Penis Extension thread for spoiling that little dream.

Have you driven one? 2nd biggest motoring disappointment of my life; It's like an even more shoddy XJ-S with a better (but not as much better as you'd hoped) V12. A friend picked up a Vantage last year and reliability has been like an even more shoddy XJ-S too.

DB9s are getting very cheap now...

Haven't driven a DB7 Vantage but was lucky enough to drive several of the six cylinder cars when they came out. The early car would be my choice; I think it looks better than the later car. My plan was lots of tinkerage and a bit of going places with an I-have-nothing-to-prove avoidance of racing. Yes, I realise the car is a bit primitive but I loved my XJS and hoped to follow on from there, albeit with a twenty five year gap.

The reality is never how you plan it, I understand that. But this thread has made me question the whole scheme.

[Taylor James]

endo said:

bad_panda said:

Diadigdav said:

Schermerhorn said:

I notice this in Britain alot. Envy of other people's success and their cars REALLY seems to be a thing here.

Definitely this. In my last job the two owners sold part of the company for quite afew million. Being car enthusiasts they decided to treat themselves including a F12, 488 Pista and Bently Bentayga. Some people that worked there acted so bitter about the fact they were able to afford nice things after building a business for 15 years!

The car lovers there were just excited about being able to get close to them, ask questions and for some lucky ones get a ride in them.

Yeah I think there's something in this. I've travelled a fair bit and have never seen the same kind of bitterness or resentment anywhere else, even in places where the rich/poor divide is much higher.

Also as I've got older I've realised that many people fail the "true friend" test if you ask yourself "Would they be genuinely happy to see me succeed?". Unfortunately in most cases the answer to that seems to be no. Or maybe it's just me! But most people seem to be more inclined towards only wanting others to succeed just that little bit less than themselves, otherwise it then almost becomes a kind of threat if others' success surpasses their own (however they define that).

A good mate of mine ended up being very successful in the music business (famous too) and despite him always being very humble, almost reluctant to even talk about it, the number of his so-called friends who seemed to be constantly waiting for him to fail was really sad. I remember another lad from school who had zero success with women but ended up with a smoking hot (and apparently very nice) wife. A lot of his "mates" were constantly saying it would never last, almost willing his marriage to fail.
In my experience people who are genuinely happy for others are rare.

What do you non-British PistonHeads reckon? Are we mostly a complete ghastly shower of resentful b*stards and is this an exclusively British trait?!

As someone non British, (but a citizen), having grown up on multiple continents and visited most of the globe, and moved alot around Britain, it's a very British trait.

Americans who most British would stereotype as having a penchant for brash overt displays of wealth, are far more congratulatory towards success, turn up in a nice car, wear nice clothes, have a fancy watch and you'll get a nice compliment.

British folk in my experience, are quite resent full of other peoples success, its all great if the individual has nice stuff but god forbid someone else likes nice things.

It's always who spent x amount for that new car in the carpark?, bet its on the drip, or they live in a hole. (followed by a search on PH for how much x car was)
HOW MUCH?? much was that watch, item of clothing, bottle of wine
Flash C**t, you went to Waitrose (trust me, they do good whisky deals, it's worth visiting from time to time)

It's a very weird cultural thing, never really experienced it anywhere else.

It's the main reason, i dress like a tramp, don't discuss car plans, and am fortunate enough that my colleagues can't tell the difference between Goyard and George by Asda

In my experience, based on spending extended periods in both countries, people outside of most cities in Spain and France are quite like the British in disliking ostentation. I am informed by a relative resident in Australia that they aren't keen either.

[Jaguar steve]

Hungrymc said:

Jaguar steve said:

Cock in a Cock's car.....

What would be a ‘cocks car’ ? I’d assume it would be any car driven by a cock?

It would. A Cock's car can be anything acquired to put a bit of aspirational automotive Bling on the drive with the intention of attracting attention and creating a image of wealth and success.

Nobody spots the irony that Cocks will frequently cripple themselves financially to attempt to create that image of wealth and success nor do they mention that after a decade of easy credit and cheap money and wall to wall PCP deals nobody's fooled by automotive Bling anymore because anybody can simply stroll into a dealer and fill their lives with it if they felt the inclination.

[lowdrag]

On which note I see on TV that there is an investigation into car credit and interest rates.

[Hungrymc]

Jaguar steve said:

It would. A Cock's car can be anything acquired to put a bit of aspirational automotive Bling on the drive with the intention of attracting attention and creating a image of wealth and success.

Nobody spots the irony that Cocks will frequently cripple themselves financially to attempt to create that image of wealth and success nor do they mention that after a decade of easy credit and cheap money and wall to wall PCP deals nobody's fooled by automotive Bling anymore because anybody can simply stroll into a dealer and fill their lives with it if they felt the inclination.

I’m a bit surprised you think nobody spots the irony. So many threads are full of people making assumptions about others financial situation. I honestly find it a bit odd. But then you see the same people making assumptions about the size of other people’s cock.... and it becomes beyond odd.

I would agree that a cock’s car is bought in a bid to impress or driven like an arse. But I’d add that a cocks car may also be one bought in the belief it indicates superiority due to ‘not being PCP’d’ or being such a ‘smart choice’.

So actually you’ll find plenty of examples of all cars with cocks driving them. It just depends if you want to spend your time judging people and if you feel compelled to focus on a particular sub set.

[endo]

Taylor James said:

endo said:

bad_panda said:

Diadigdav said:

Schermerhorn said:

I notice this in Britain alot. Envy of other people's success and their cars REALLY seems to be a thing here.

Definitely this. In my last job the two owners sold part of the company for quite afew million. Being car enthusiasts they decided to treat themselves including a F12, 488 Pista and Bently Bentayga. Some people that worked there acted so bitter about the fact they were able to afford nice things after building a business for 15 years!

The car lovers there were just excited about being able to get close to them, ask questions and for some lucky ones get a ride in them.

Yeah I think there's something in this. I've travelled a fair bit and have never seen the same kind of bitterness or resentment anywhere else, even in places where the rich/poor divide is much higher.

Also as I've got older I've realised that many people fail the "true friend" test if you ask yourself "Would they be genuinely happy to see me succeed?". Unfortunately in most cases the answer to that seems to be no. Or maybe it's just me! But most people seem to be more inclined towards only wanting others to succeed just that little bit less than themselves, otherwise it then almost becomes a kind of threat if others' success surpasses their own (however they define that).

A good mate of mine ended up being very successful in the music business (famous too) and despite him always being very humble, almost reluctant to even talk about it, the number of his so-called friends who seemed to be constantly waiting for him to fail was really sad. I remember another lad from school who had zero success with women but ended up with a smoking hot (and apparently very nice) wife. A lot of his "mates" were constantly saying it would never last, almost willing his marriage to fail.
In my experience people who are genuinely happy for others are rare.

What do you non-British PistonHeads reckon? Are we mostly a complete ghastly shower of resentful b*stards and is this an exclusively British trait?!

As someone non British, (but a citizen), having grown up on multiple continents and visited most of the globe, and moved alot around Britain, it's a very British trait.

Americans who most British would stereotype as having a penchant for brash overt displays of wealth, are far more congratulatory towards success, turn up in a nice car, wear nice clothes, have a fancy watch and you'll get a nice compliment.

British folk in my experience, are quite resent full of other peoples success, its all great if the individual has nice stuff but god forbid someone else likes nice things.

It's always who spent x amount for that new car in the carpark?, bet its on the drip, or they live in a hole. (followed by a search on PH for how much x car was)
HOW MUCH?? much was that watch, item of clothing, bottle of wine
Flash C**t, you went to Waitrose (trust me, they do good whisky deals, it's worth visiting from time to time)

It's a very weird cultural thing, never really experienced it anywhere else.

It's the main reason, i dress like a tramp, don't discuss car plans, and am fortunate enough that my colleagues can't tell the difference between Goyard and George by Asda

In my experience, based on spending extended periods in both countries, people outside of most cities in Spain and France are quite like the British in disliking ostentation. I am informed by a relative resident in Australia that they aren't keen either.

My point wasn't to do with ostentatious behavior, its about having anything that is perceived as marginally better is a subject of envy.

There's one thing turning up to work, or pulling up to your estate, in a Swarovski crystal encrusted, LV trimmed, Liberty Walk body-kitted Lamborghini, neons blazing, deafening the neighbours with your exhaust.
That's a knobber anywhere in the world.

What I mean is more along this hypothetical example:
Everyone at work owns a 116d, one person decides because they like cars and have saved up a bit of cash to buy a M4 or some other "fancy car" for their own pleasure.
The result is nearly always, "it's alright for some", "how much did it cost?" "how can they afford it?" "how is it financed?" " is their house really small?"

Or one that I encounter alot, since people know I collect watches.
"Just seen so-and-so has a new Daytona/Sub/Nautilus etc, how much is one of them? must be alright for some"

[Hungrymc]

I don’t know if it’s a British thing.

I don’t encounter much of it in daily life at all. But it’s very much a PH thing.

[DickyC]

The Conundrum Viewed Another Way - A youngish guy parked a red Countach outside a busy wine bar behind Harrods in the run up to Christmas some years ago. The wine bar was in an old showroom and was all windows. He climbed out, his girlfriend climbed out and he went to lock it. I was stuck in traffic going nowhere and watched this drama unfold. The Lambo didn't want to lock. He opened and closed the door. Nope. He opened and slammed the door. Nope. He tried again. And again. His girlfriend was looking uncomfortable. He was getting pinker and pinker. Slam. Slam. Slam. Leave it, mate. The traffic isn't moving. No one is going to nick it. Just walk away. Slam. Slam. Slam. Sake, mate. It's not having it. Do they have conventional door locks? Give up, mate. I wondered if he'd borrowed it and hadn't practiced unobserved, somewhere quiet. Slam. Slam. Slam. He spoke to his mortified girlfriend. They got back in and were eventually allowed to join the cars going nowhere. I imagine Little Lambo had shrunk to nothing by this time.

[The Li-ion King]

endo said:

Taylor James said:

endo said:

bad_panda said:

Diadigdav said:

Schermerhorn said:

I notice this in Britain alot. Envy of other people's success and their cars REALLY seems to be a thing here.

Definitely this. In my last job the two owners sold part of the company for quite afew million. Being car enthusiasts they decided to treat themselves including a F12, 488 Pista and Bently Bentayga. Some people that worked there acted so bitter about the fact they were able to afford nice things after building a business for 15 years!

The car lovers there were just excited about being able to get close to them, ask questions and for some lucky ones get a ride in them.

Yeah I think there's something in this. I've travelled a fair bit and have never seen the same kind of bitterness or resentment anywhere else, even in places where the rich/poor divide is much higher.

Also as I've got older I've realised that many people fail the "true friend" test if you ask yourself "Would they be genuinely happy to see me succeed?". Unfortunately in most cases the answer to that seems to be no. Or maybe it's just me! But most people seem to be more inclined towards only wanting others to succeed just that little bit less than themselves, otherwise it then almost becomes a kind of threat if others' success surpasses their own (however they define that).

A good mate of mine ended up being very successful in the music business (famous too) and despite him always being very humble, almost reluctant to even talk about it, the number of his so-called friends who seemed to be constantly waiting for him to fail was really sad. I remember another lad from school who had zero success with women but ended up with a smoking hot (and apparently very nice) wife. A lot of his "mates" were constantly saying it would never last, almost willing his marriage to fail.
In my experience people who are genuinely happy for others are rare.

What do you non-British PistonHeads reckon? Are we mostly a complete ghastly shower of resentful b*stards and is this an exclusively British trait?!

As someone non British, (but a citizen), having grown up on multiple continents and visited most of the globe, and moved alot around Britain, it's a very British trait.

Americans who most British would stereotype as having a penchant for brash overt displays of wealth, are far more congratulatory towards success, turn up in a nice car, wear nice clothes, have a fancy watch and you'll get a nice compliment.

British folk in my experience, are quite resent full of other peoples success, its all great if the individual has nice stuff but god forbid someone else likes nice things.

It's always who spent x amount for that new car in the carpark?, bet its on the drip, or they live in a hole. (followed by a search on PH for how much x car was)
HOW MUCH?? much was that watch, item of clothing, bottle of wine
Flash C**t, you went to Waitrose (trust me, they do good whisky deals, it's worth visiting from time to time)

It's a very weird cultural thing, never really experienced it anywhere else.

It's the main reason, i dress like a tramp, don't discuss car plans, and am fortunate enough that my colleagues can't tell the difference between Goyard and George by Asda

In my experience, based on spending extended periods in both countries, people outside of most cities in Spain and France are quite like the British in disliking ostentation. I am informed by a relative resident in Australia that they aren't keen either.

My point wasn't to do with ostentatious behavior, its about having anything that is perceived as marginally better is a subject of envy.

There's one thing turning up to work, or pulling up to your estate, in a Swarovski crystal encrusted, LV trimmed, Liberty Walk body-kitted Lamborghini, neons blazing, deafening the neighbours with your exhaust.
That's a knobber anywhere in the world.

What I mean is more along this hypothetical example:
Everyone at work owns a 116d, one person decides because they like cars and have saved up a bit of cash to buy a M4 or some other "fancy car" for their own pleasure.
The result is nearly always, "it's alright for some", "how much did it cost?" "how can they afford it?" "how is it financed?" " is their house really small?"

Or one that I encounter alot, since people know I collect watches.
"Just seen so-and-so has a new Daytona/Sub/Nautilus etc, how much is one of them? must be alright for some"

There's a lot of jealousy, and also the something for nothing generation has a part to play. I may rib the YouTube vloggers, but know whilst a lot have come from money, or have very well paying jobs, there's effort and hard work that gets them into driving these supercars or the constant flipping / churn etc. I drove my Transit Connect van to a storage place near me to hear the manager asking a colleague about his latest BMW on PCP. It was a 435d, but there's no time to feel jealous (4 series too low to the ground, hence driving an X5 instead). At no time did I have to point out what car I had, but you will find its the insecure and desperate who would buy a car to initially impress others.

One guy I knew, hopeless with women, decided to buy / lease a Porsche Boxster, but I think ran out of time to impress anyone having struggled with repayments and had to give it back in a month

My Mrs has seen me in a range of cars over the years, from ropey Vectras with intermittent power steering failure, to nearly new BMWs. One Mondeo I had, she helped push start when the starter motor seized, so we could get to Heathrow and off on holiday

Having the biggest car, lots of money may mean you attract the wrong type of partner... case in point, Katie Price, selling her cars as they "get her into trouble" (rather than being banned 2 years) who has attracted chancers who may like the car and what that lifestyle brings

[lowdrag]

It's time to come out of the closet. I admit it; I am a petrolhead, and have been since I grew up in my Dad's Ford dealership. I have been lucky enough to lose lots of money buying expensive and fast cars over the years but later in life (50s) I was converted and saw the light. "Friends" who I know were all of the "It's all right for him" brigade are now of the "I said he'd come a cropper" set now, just because I drive a 7-yr old basic car, no bells and whistles. You just can't win. But I am relaxed and happy with the conversion. There are other things in life it seems.

[ghost83]

I’m happy for anyone that does well in life and as I commented yesterday to andy74b I’ve never been jealous of anyone in my life but his mclaren F1 is just gorgeous and he’s using it as intended,

Not jealous as such but you know what I mean!

If I’m honest I’ve lost all interest in cars! If you have something nice I’m more bothered about getting stabbed for it than how it looks to other ppl! As soon as my gti has gone I’m replacing it with a same age mondeo estate! Wife can’t wait to have a decent nights sleep

It does seem to attract women though, especially 30+yr old women! No idea why but it does

Edited by ghost83 on Thursday 17th October 07:17

[DickyC]

lowdrag said:

It's time to come out of the closet. I admit it; I am a petrolhead, and have been since I grew up in my Dad's Ford dealership. I have been lucky enough to lose lots of money buying expensive and fast cars over the years but later in life (50s) I was converted and saw the light. "Friends" who I know were all of the "It's all right for him" brigade are now of the "I said he'd come a cropper" set now, just because I drive a 7-yr old basic car, no bells and whistles. You just can't win. But I am relaxed and happy with the conversion. There are other things in life it seems.

Now, that's really interesting, lowdrag. You have set aside classic cars from the PenEx problem. Even before reading your post I was wondering if there is an equation we can write that will respond to the different influences to give each driver under scrutiny a number out of 100 where 1 is Driving Miss Daisy in a four year old Honda Jazz and 100 is driving a new 5 Series like a complete cock.

To write the equation we do need to compile a list of cars in order of Penis Enhancement. The Most PE car would be 100 and all the Least PE cars would be 1 with moderately to mainly PE ranged from 2 to 99. (This will need constant monitoring as new data becomes available.) For the purposes of this exercise though we could take Aston Martin as the example (as AM would probably be near the top of the eventual list). Classic status will be simplified to age in years until further notice.

It is easy to see that driving a DB2 courteously would give a considerably lower number than driving a new Vantage like a cannabis farmer in a Police chase.

Therefore the equation might be (( L / A ) x C) / 100 where L = position on the PE List, A = age of vehicle and C = degree of driving Cockness

DB2 driven like Miss Daisy - ((L/A) x C) / 100 = ((98 / 60) x 1) / 100 = 0.0163 %

New Vantage driven like an escaping wrong un - ((L/A) x C) / 100 = ((98/1) x 99) / 100 = 97.02 %

They are both Aston Martins but the PenEx number for the DB2 is currently less than <1 but for the new Vantage is >97.

You can't argue with numbers like that.

[glenrobbo]

As you say, Dicky, you can't argue with numbers like that, but the classification for each factor still remains highly subjective.
How would you scientifically grade each vehicle?
And surely the age of both observer and driving cock should be included in your formula?

For instance, where would a young Lego-obsessed chap driving sedately to work in the small hours in his new ( old ) Rioja Red Focus Estate fall into the graph?
Or a chain-smoking nutter tear-arsing around on a Fireblade with his dolly-bird hanging on to his privates for dear life?
Or an executive chappie out playing with his snake?
Or a little man in a boat? Sorry, I mean a man in a little boat...
Or an old fart pedalling along topless in his old parts-bin special?

We need to start a chart.

Edited by glenrobbo on Thursday 17th October 10:05

[DickyC]

There's no escaping the complexity of the task, gr.

I foresaw that the formula would need to be developed but I had totally overlooked the respective ages of Knob (the chap whose PenEx number we are calculating) and the Knob Ob (the chap tasked with recording the Knob's car and rating his driving).

Are you saying the older the Knob Ob the harsher his judgement of the target Knob might be? We could perhaps inaugurate a Standard of some sort; number of seconds jumping the lights after red, number of times the horn was used, this sort of thing. More objective, I mean. This could be value K in the formula. No, hang on, K is used elsewhere as a constant. Maybe we should make it D instead of K.

I feel a clarification meeting coming on.

[glenrobbo]

From past experience, I have found that most clarification meetings result in things becoming rather more hazy...

[Bobberoo99]

Definitely needs calibrating and refining DickyC, we all know that the Porsche driver is the target of more jealousy and admiration than any other vehicle in the history of vehicular things!!
I mean take for example an upwardly mobile chap, in an executive position, he treats himself to his dream car of a black Porsche, all is good until he changes the colour of his wheels and suddenly he is viewed as a sexual predator with psychotic tendencies!!! Whereas the guy who buys a Viper Green GT3 RS with black wheels from the factory, regardless of his position in life will be viewed as a lunatic driver who pays no attention to either speed limits or the dampness of his latest female accompaniment as he barrels along everywhere at many leptons in a vain attempt to rekindle his long lost youth!!!

[DickyC]

You forgot to mention how very long sentences affect the study's findings.

[Bobberoo99]

Quite.