What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
My friend has driven around Paris, Rome and other interesting parts of the world and came out without any damages to report, however witnessed a Porsche sideswipe a Golf. The same friend also pretty much screamed during the entire time that he was driving in Central Paris for the first time.
Coincidently, three weeks ago the same friend took his mum's Toyota Aygo out to pick up a burger and chips for lunch and managed to reverse into a pole that has always been there, and friend drove past and made sure to avoid when parking the car. My friend failed to spot the pole in his rear view mirror, the side mirror and also the reverse camera when hitting it at some speed as they needed to go home and log back onto his work laptop as his lunch break was nearly over.
Coincidently, three weeks ago the same friend took his mum's Toyota Aygo out to pick up a burger and chips for lunch and managed to reverse into a pole that has always been there, and friend drove past and made sure to avoid when parking the car. My friend failed to spot the pole in his rear view mirror, the side mirror and also the reverse camera when hitting it at some speed as they needed to go home and log back onto his work laptop as his lunch break was nearly over.
I have a friend who used to ride fast motorbikes at highly inadvisable speeds. Upon achieving 11 points in quick succession - good mitigation in two court appearances left him without a ban, but without learning any lessons - he then decided to really go for it on some Home Counties roads.
As he recounts it, it was only when he overtook a slow-moving train of traffic on an A road and realised that the car at the front was in fact a police car - he was an unobservant idiot, he accepts - did he realise that doing 110 mph past the constabulary whilst crossing solid white lines was a bad idea. Especially on 11 points. In a 60 zone. With an exceptionally loud Yoshi pipe that meant that no-one within Hertfordshire could fail to notice his arrival. Did I mention that the bike he was riding had a very distinctive colourscheme? Or than his custom leathers were absolutely unique; not that many people think that leathers that make you look like a bumblebee are especially desirable. Identifying him would have been the easiest thing ever, and that's without the near-neon glow of his leathers making him incredibly simple to follow.
The police officers immediately hit their lights/siren, and my friend then had the choice of slowing/stopping/getting a ban ........ or dropping a gear and accelerating in an attempt to outrun the police car. Obviously if they'd clocked his numberplate he was in trouble regardless.
Despite being in every other respects a reasonably sensible chap, my friend did indeed use all the power his FireBlade could muster and, through dint of riding like a loon, outpaced the police car and turned off onto a very quiet side road, then hid the bike and himself in some woods until it started to go dark, some five hours later. He then, nervously, rode back home to Watford, hoping that when he got home there'd only be an angry wife (he didn't have a mobile with him and had been missing for half a day - she was understandably upset) and not the police.
He was very lucky that the plod never caught up with him ......... but lesson learned. The bike remained in his garage, unridden, for a couple of months. He bought plain leathers to use once he started riding again. He realised he couldn't control his urge to ride like a d
head so bought smaller bikes but still rode them using lots of throttle and way in excess of the speed limits. He was on the verge of losing his licence for years - as soon as points dropped, some more would come along, and that's despite getting away with 99%+ of his offences.
My friend ended up selling his bikes and now drives diesel Mercedes. He knows what he's like on a bike.........
As he recounts it, it was only when he overtook a slow-moving train of traffic on an A road and realised that the car at the front was in fact a police car - he was an unobservant idiot, he accepts - did he realise that doing 110 mph past the constabulary whilst crossing solid white lines was a bad idea. Especially on 11 points. In a 60 zone. With an exceptionally loud Yoshi pipe that meant that no-one within Hertfordshire could fail to notice his arrival. Did I mention that the bike he was riding had a very distinctive colourscheme? Or than his custom leathers were absolutely unique; not that many people think that leathers that make you look like a bumblebee are especially desirable. Identifying him would have been the easiest thing ever, and that's without the near-neon glow of his leathers making him incredibly simple to follow.
The police officers immediately hit their lights/siren, and my friend then had the choice of slowing/stopping/getting a ban ........ or dropping a gear and accelerating in an attempt to outrun the police car. Obviously if they'd clocked his numberplate he was in trouble regardless.
Despite being in every other respects a reasonably sensible chap, my friend did indeed use all the power his FireBlade could muster and, through dint of riding like a loon, outpaced the police car and turned off onto a very quiet side road, then hid the bike and himself in some woods until it started to go dark, some five hours later. He then, nervously, rode back home to Watford, hoping that when he got home there'd only be an angry wife (he didn't have a mobile with him and had been missing for half a day - she was understandably upset) and not the police.
He was very lucky that the plod never caught up with him ......... but lesson learned. The bike remained in his garage, unridden, for a couple of months. He bought plain leathers to use once he started riding again. He realised he couldn't control his urge to ride like a d
head so bought smaller bikes but still rode them using lots of throttle and way in excess of the speed limits. He was on the verge of losing his licence for years - as soon as points dropped, some more would come along, and that's despite getting away with 99%+ of his offences.My friend ended up selling his bikes and now drives diesel Mercedes. He knows what he's like on a bike.........
Blib said:
My friend drove to Paris in 1977, two months after passing his test, aged 17, as he wanted to drive around the Arc de Triomphe..
My friend remembers, as a +/- 10 y.o. child in the front seat of his Dad's car, being stuck on the Arc de Triomphe roundabout because some Frenchy had decided to drive around it the wrong way (genuine wrong way) and had ended up nose-to-nose with his Dad. Well, it wasn't just one Frenchy...there were probably cars pointing in all sorts of different directions (from the 'norm' for a roundabout, before any pedants get cute).Breadvan72 said:
My friend likes the idea of the “change elises”. Did your friend go from a red Elise to a blue one? Is it true that the red ones go faster but crash more?
By the way, les Champs d’Elysee and l’Arc de Triomphe are for wimps! Real hardcore Parisian driving adventures occur when trying to change lanes on the Peripherique, or when trying to negotiate Place de la Concorde or Bastille, preferably when a Presidential motorcade is in the vicinity. Do that, and you are ready for Rome, or Hyde Park Corner on a pushbike (the latter is also known as “mind shattering terror”).
Hahahaha my Friend is very apologetic on my behalf for spelling those locations so appallingly, rest assured that I feel like the cretin I am.By the way, les Champs d’Elysee and l’Arc de Triomphe are for wimps! Real hardcore Parisian driving adventures occur when trying to change lanes on the Peripherique, or when trying to negotiate Place de la Concorde or Bastille, preferably when a Presidential motorcade is in the vicinity. Do that, and you are ready for Rome, or Hyde Park Corner on a pushbike (the latter is also known as “mind shattering terror”).
My friend has no knowledge of which elise is faster however he can confirm that a red transit van is faster than anything else known to man, certainly quicker than the white RWD transit tipper that he used to peddle but a lot less fun
My Friend and his family were going skiing maybe 10yrs ago with another family. My fiedn decided to drive, his mate decided to fly, destination Austria.
Without both wifes knowing this turned into a top gera style race. Both families were leaving at 10pm, my friend driving through the night, his mate driving to stanstead, spending a few hours in a hotel and catching the 6am flight out.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, once into Germany my friend managed to empty the tank of an A4 diesel (only the 4cyl
) pretty much without lifting the throttle for 2hrs 
It was highly irresponsable, especially with his family on board aslep, but did allow him the secret smugness of winning the race.
Without both wifes knowing this turned into a top gera style race. Both families were leaving at 10pm, my friend driving through the night, his mate driving to stanstead, spending a few hours in a hotel and catching the 6am flight out.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, once into Germany my friend managed to empty the tank of an A4 diesel (only the 4cyl
) pretty much without lifting the throttle for 2hrs It was highly irresponsable, especially with his family on board aslep, but did allow him the secret smugness of winning the race.
WestyCarl said:
My Friend and his family were going skiing maybe 10yrs ago with another family. My fiedn decided to drive, his mate decided to fly, destination Austria.
Without both wifes knowing this turned into a top gera style race. Both families were leaving at 10pm, my friend driving through the night, his mate driving to stanstead, spending a few hours in a hotel and catching the 6am flight out.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, once into Germany my friend managed to empty the tank of an A4 diesel (only the 4cyl) pretty much without lifting the throttle for 2hrs
It was highly irresponsable, especially with his family on board aslep, but did allow him the secret smugness of winning the race.
Your friend sounds like my friend ... whom next April has a similar event planned. South London via Eurotunnel to La Rosiere vs. Manchester via Geneva and transfer to La Rosiere.Without both wifes knowing this turned into a top gera style race. Both families were leaving at 10pm, my friend driving through the night, his mate driving to stanstead, spending a few hours in a hotel and catching the 6am flight out.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, once into Germany my friend managed to empty the tank of an A4 diesel (only the 4cyl
) pretty much without lifting the throttle for 2hrs It was highly irresponsable, especially with his family on board aslep, but did allow him the secret smugness of winning the race.
My friend is setting off day before, to position himself nearer the resort ... He’d like to see half a days skiing before his northern friend turns up.
seyre1972 said:
Your friend sounds like my friend ... whom next April has a similar event planned. South London via Eurotunnel to La Rosiere vs. Manchester via Geneva and transfer to La Rosiere.
My friend is setting off day before, to position himself nearer the resort ... He’d like to see half a days skiing before his northern friend turns up.
Your Friend and your friend's friend are both doing the right thing.Your friend gets half a day's skiing, his friend avoids the worst part of the drive - Manchester to Folkstone.My friend is setting off day before, to position himself nearer the resort ... He’d like to see half a days skiing before his northern friend turns up.
My friend, in his youth, hired a HiAce to collect a pallet of bricks help with some garden work at home. Before collecting said bricks he realised that an unladen rear-end made for fun going round the twisty county roads en-route to the brick pick-up - fun that is until a LARGE tipper truck heading the other way decided that he needed 3/4s of all the available road-space....
Clang! The HiAce (which at that point had been, quite possibly, heading towards a ditch) had the drop-side smacked by said tipper and bent severely out of shape (the tipper had a cracked bumper, smashed headlight, broken radiator grille and a cracked windscreen). Both parties decided that nothing should be said and went on their wa, my friend had his bfriend end the drop-side into (some semblance of) shape with a squeeze-grabber before the bricks went on and all was well.
HiAce was dropped off in the dark, damaged side next to a wall and signed for with no issues - my friend thinks he dodged a couple of bullets there
Clang! The HiAce (which at that point had been, quite possibly, heading towards a ditch) had the drop-side smacked by said tipper and bent severely out of shape (the tipper had a cracked bumper, smashed headlight, broken radiator grille and a cracked windscreen). Both parties decided that nothing should be said and went on their wa, my friend had his bfriend end the drop-side into (some semblance of) shape with a squeeze-grabber before the bricks went on and all was well.
HiAce was dropped off in the dark, damaged side next to a wall and signed for with no issues - my friend thinks he dodged a couple of bullets there
Many many years ago my friend was leaving a local pub quiz in his new Cavalier SRI 130. In his haste to get home he misjudged a sharp right hand bend at the end of the high street and lost steering for a moment, over corrected and smashed into the local church wall.After coming to a stop he decided as the car was still running it was prudent to make haste and get home quick to assess the damage. The N/S light beam was at a distinctly odd position though which didn’t bode well. Finally home he got out to find the front wing caved in and headlamp not in a place any headlamp should be.
The next night he met with his friends after walking to the pub to be handed bits of his car they found after hearing a loud crash. My friend denied all knowledge or ownership of these parts and speculated it must of been from previous accident as his car was just fine!
The next night he met with his friends after walking to the pub to be handed bits of his car they found after hearing a loud crash. My friend denied all knowledge or ownership of these parts and speculated it must of been from previous accident as his car was just fine!
Breadvan72 said:
Top work! Did your friend then have to fabricate a tale of being egregiously rear ended by Tommy Tailgater in order to explain to his friends why the car had a smacked arse??
Well friend did mention another bad driver. Friend also manged to set fire to the packed lunch wrappers and old papers in the passenger footwell when flicking a cigarette out of (closed) window.
My Friend has recently bought a newer diesel car than the existing diesel car he has, it has the smaller fuel nozzle that is the norm these days, my Friend thought it was a good idea to put some injector cleaner in with this tank of fuel, he opened the bottle and inserted it into the nozzle and proceeded to pour it in, it was slow going, it wasn't until nearly a third of the bottle had gone that my Friend became aware of the unmistakable sound of liquid spattering on the ground, at his feet, from under his car, it was at this point my Friend realised that he hadn't inserted it correctly and the injector cleaner was just pouring through the overfill tube!!!!
The Mad Monk said:
Tsk.
My friend reversed into a telegraph pole yesterday (don't ask him). He now has no dent, but a very ugly creosotey stain on the offside rear of his P & J.
Serious question. How can he remove it? Rubbing compound, or whatever it's called?
wipe a little too much polish over it and leave it for half an hour before wiping off. It may need a couple of goes, or it may be that the first application won't touch it, in which case find a valeter to give it a proper MOPMy friend reversed into a telegraph pole yesterday (don't ask him). He now has no dent, but a very ugly creosotey stain on the offside rear of his P & J.
Serious question. How can he remove it? Rubbing compound, or whatever it's called?
The Mad Monk said:
Tsk.
My friend reversed into a telegraph pole yesterday (don't ask him). He now has no dent, but a very ugly creosotey stain on the offside rear of his P & J.
Serious question. How can he remove it? Rubbing compound, or whatever it's called?
Another friend of mine, not the one that reversed in to a tree but someone else did the same. He got the stain off with Autoglym tar remover.My friend reversed into a telegraph pole yesterday (don't ask him). He now has no dent, but a very ugly creosotey stain on the offside rear of his P & J.
Serious question. How can he remove it? Rubbing compound, or whatever it's called?
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