Shed Of The Week: Leyland Convoy
It it all goes wrong you could actually use it as a shed...
As some PHers may shyly admit, things happen in vans. Exciting, often unseemly and sometimes downright disgusting things. If the walls of this one could talk, what might they say?
Well, the indented back means she was almost certainly a Post Office mule, so it's a fair guess that in her early life at least she carried mainly letters and parcels. This is not difficult work for a van. However, Post Office vans of this age did need to be tough, mostly because of the total disregard PO workers had (and by observation clearly still have) for them. For drivers, no pothole would be left un-dropped into, no kerb left un-mounted. PO mechanics were even worse. In the days of Moggy Minor postie vans, Shed knew a grease monkey with serious attention issues. To create work for himself, he would pop the Moggies in first and then drive them at max revs on full lock in the yard until something broke. A state of affairs which was not long in coming.
The vendor calls it a Leyland, which is romantic but not strictly accurate. Leyland stopped being Leyland in 1993 when it became LDV, which stands for Leyland DAF Vans. The old Peugeot-powered 400 tin box was spruced up and turned into the Convoy you see here, a twin-back-wheeled, 2.5-litre Ford-powered beast.
Legend has it that the Royal Mail liked these LDVs because they were a bit narrower than Transits, making them more agile in tight country lanes. Sounds like a marginal reason for buying eleventy million of them, especially given what we know now about LDV vans which is that they can be a shedload of trouble.
She'll be a feisty mare right enough - we'll get on to that later - but she'll bow her head to a firm and masterful hand. Not so much to a firm foot, though. Most vans are pretty quick these days, but Leyland vans never were. Being an '02 model, this one should have the 'upgrade' of the unturbo'd Ford Duratorq 2.4, a donk that will go on forever. Certainly, every journey will feel like it's taking forever, and the lawnmowerish thud of the leaden pistons will have a Darwinian sense of endurance about it, like a cockroach.
This specimen here looks remarkably clean. Sure, her skirts are a bit frilly, but take a squint at much newer, much browner specimens - many of them German, by the way - and you might rethink any of those unworthy thoughts you've just had about this one's structural integrity.
Other plus points? She's fully bulkheaded behind the driver, so you won't hear the slow, ongoing destruction of your precious cargo as you bounce uncaringly along rutted roads. For the weirder ones among you, nor will you hear the screams of unwilling passengers. There's a length of rope in the back to start you off.
On the negative side (this could take a while) the steering box is a well known Convoy weak spot. If for some reason you find yourself having to turn the wheel rather than simply ploughing straight ahead in the usual manner, and the steering feels notchy, your box is kaput. If, when you take your hands off the wheel (which you'll be doing a lot of the time) and she pulls to one side, that's most probably kingpin failure. A whining noise could be someone dying in the back but it's more likely a faulty diff.
Engine wise, a lot of folk swear by the dumb ploddability of the Duratorq lump over the more sophisticated but arguably more troublesome common-rail Transit units, but head gaskets do go and injector pumps do fall off. A lot of folk swear by LDVs generally, while many others swear at them, castigating their gearboxes, horribleness to drive and all-round tendency to fall apart, but a good one - as this Shed might well be - should be a useful and cheap tool.
Imagine the feeling of satisfaction upon reaching one's destination with one's special consignment vaguely intact, if not one's eardrums. Transform it into a groovy motorhome or bolt in some seats and set yourself up as a gangmaster delivering cheap labour. When the mechanicals finally do go west, turn it into an actual shed, as PHers are wont to suggest on SOTW threads about cars they hate.
So here it is, your chance to ceremoniously place your folded copy of the Sun on the dash, bare your metaphorical bottom to the world and shout "I'm a van man, and I don't care who knows it".
Here is the ad.
I've had this van for over 5 years of trouble free motoring.
No nasty rust spots, no dings or knocks.
2 sets of keys.
Van has been well maintained and looked after.
Very low mileage (only used for local runs), long MOT until April 2016.
New front brakes and very recent oil and filter change.(May 2015)
£750
Huge storage inside, can even be converted into a camper van.
This is s total heap. We used to have them on the fleet when I was working at National Car Rental about 10 years ago.
They were horrid when new, so I can only imagine how bad they are now. Clunky, slow, even the new ones used to break down regularly.
A similar vintage Transit or Vito would be a stronger bet, and they drive so much better than these. This would literally be best used as a shed to put stuff in. And that's all!
I suppose you could use it for a booze run to Calais secure in the knowledge that not even desperate Somalis will attempt to gain entry to Blighty in the back of this.
Then there was the time I got recruited as a driver for the Three Peaks. We hired a brand new one of these in 17-seater Minibus guise from Thrifty which resulted in an amusing call from my mate as we were on our way - 'there's good news and bad news - the van's brand new . . . but as a result it's restricted to 64mph'. Cue downhill in neutral through the Lake District to try and get extra speed and maxed out through a 20mph restricted freshly chipped stretch of road . . .
Just running some quotes for a local furniture retailer's Fleet. They've got one of these in Luton guise as well as a Sprinter. I bet they fight over the jobs there!
Drove a rental one of these non-stop from London to Oslo and back to London on a long weekend to help a mate move back to the UK. That was purgatory, slower than a 3 legged dog, most uncomfortable bench seat imaginable, driving position designed by the Marquis de Sade. Hateful Hateful horrible things .....
Having done that trip, anything that hell has will be an improvement !!
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