My mother has turned in to an 'old person' driver.
Discussion
Due to a recent bereavement, my son and I have decamped to my parents house. As he was at nursery today and I don't have much to do at the moment so I went to Tesco with my mum to do the weekly food shopping.
She has a new(ish) car and even though I offered to drive, she wanted to do it otherwise she would never get used to the car.
Anyway, we get in the car and suddenly I realise that she has turned in to one of these 'old person' drivers that wind everyone else up!
After she adopted the 'praying mantis' seating position I realised that something was going to be very different since she last drove me around - multiple decades at least.
And so it transpired, dithering at roundabouts, stopping well short of the line at traffic lights, completely ignoring the lanes at roundabouts, forcing the car in to first gear before it had come to a stop, random use of the indicators plus a few other things I can't remember during the short 5 mile trip.
No harm was done (except maybe to my blood pressure and first gear on the car). Anyway, it occured to me, is this like a 'thing' that happens to everyone? Suddenly you wake up and drive like this (a bit like you go in to M&S and think those corduroy trousers look really smart) or does it sneak up on you over time and you don't really realise?
I don't really know where I am going with this other than my eyes have been opened and I must remember what her new car looks like so I don't inadvertently end up honking at it should I find her in front of me in the near future.
She has a new(ish) car and even though I offered to drive, she wanted to do it otherwise she would never get used to the car.
Anyway, we get in the car and suddenly I realise that she has turned in to one of these 'old person' drivers that wind everyone else up!
After she adopted the 'praying mantis' seating position I realised that something was going to be very different since she last drove me around - multiple decades at least.
And so it transpired, dithering at roundabouts, stopping well short of the line at traffic lights, completely ignoring the lanes at roundabouts, forcing the car in to first gear before it had come to a stop, random use of the indicators plus a few other things I can't remember during the short 5 mile trip.
No harm was done (except maybe to my blood pressure and first gear on the car). Anyway, it occured to me, is this like a 'thing' that happens to everyone? Suddenly you wake up and drive like this (a bit like you go in to M&S and think those corduroy trousers look really smart) or does it sneak up on you over time and you don't really realise?
I don't really know where I am going with this other than my eyes have been opened and I must remember what her new car looks like so I don't inadvertently end up honking at it should I find her in front of me in the near future.
Noticed this with my father recently, when my brother and I went out with him for the day where he drove.
He hasn't adopted the seating position yet, but he refuses to do more than 45mph on all NSL roads, which resulted in a number of comments relating to how much of a rush everyone else was in and a large number of overtakes.
He has recently retired, so technically I suppose he has no need to rush anywhere!
He hasn't adopted the seating position yet, but he refuses to do more than 45mph on all NSL roads, which resulted in a number of comments relating to how much of a rush everyone else was in and a large number of overtakes.
He has recently retired, so technically I suppose he has no need to rush anywhere!
Yep - This is my mum and she's 69. But she's never been the most confident driver and at less than 5ft tall, it's always been a challenge for her - Dithering is standard and overtakes (even of tractors - and living in rural Lincolnshire, there are many) are rare.
I drive her places when I'm there, but she knows that her driving isn't the best, at least, and uses public transport as much as she can - And living in rural Lincolnshire, this is a challenge. But when she does drive: Be somewhere else...
Good luck, is all I can say...
I drive her places when I'm there, but she knows that her driving isn't the best, at least, and uses public transport as much as she can - And living in rural Lincolnshire, this is a challenge. But when she does drive: Be somewhere else...
Good luck, is all I can say...
Do you have a non family member or know a good driving instructor that can go out with her and sit and offer some gentle advice on her driving ?
I did this with my mum about a year ago after noticing some of the above - excuse I used was I had a driver assessment at work / whatever is believable and I found it was beneficial as it identified me driving 1 handed a bit too much.
I did this with my mum about a year ago after noticing some of the above - excuse I used was I had a driver assessment at work / whatever is believable and I found it was beneficial as it identified me driving 1 handed a bit too much.
My mum isn't this bad but the less she drives the less confidence she has. She won't drive long distances now which isn't really an issue and locally she drives fine, a bit slow, but only a bit. Perhaps like your mum, she was never a greatly confident driver anyway. She had 2 minor accidents which knocked her confidence but i told her loads of us have these and she seems ok again.
My mum is 80. Was always a good confident driver. She avoids driving at night now since she had her cataracts done as the lights dazzle her. And won't go long distances, because of back ache more than anything. Also will only drive autos now. But she still buzzes around town and seems pretty ok, if no Lewis Hamilton.
As I've got older I have actually slowed down - I don't mean doing 40 in NSLs, or setting off slowly at lights - I'm prompt and don't hold people up.
But it does eventually dawn on you that going as fast as you can everywhere - especially if there are traffic lights anywhere on your route - generally means your rushing makes no difference to your journey time at all. Trust me, it doesn't. Having "one of those days" where you get every light on red - that makes far more difference.
Also - not driving balls out everywhere tends to make you fly under the radar of idiots; I look at aggressive drivers with noisy exhausts now and just think they look and sound like bellends. You realise - despite the whinging of the sort of people on PH who think that over 60s need to have retests - that there's a reason why older folk have dirt cheap insurance.
But it does eventually dawn on you that going as fast as you can everywhere - especially if there are traffic lights anywhere on your route - generally means your rushing makes no difference to your journey time at all. Trust me, it doesn't. Having "one of those days" where you get every light on red - that makes far more difference.
Also - not driving balls out everywhere tends to make you fly under the radar of idiots; I look at aggressive drivers with noisy exhausts now and just think they look and sound like bellends. You realise - despite the whinging of the sort of people on PH who think that over 60s need to have retests - that there's a reason why older folk have dirt cheap insurance.
CubanPete said:
Following my Mum (74) back from somewhere.
My wife uttered the words 'You don't have to keep up with your Mum you know'.
That reminds me of trying to follow my father in law (78) around his local rural roads. My wife uttered the words 'You don't have to keep up with your Mum you know'.
The main problem was he kept overtaking people when there was no chance I'd be able to get through too. By the time I'd reached the next suitable place to overtake, it took some seriously 'spirited' driving to catch him up!
I noticed this happened around about when my Mum hit 60.
Not so much the mantis position, but the general 40mph everywhere, leaving indicators on, slightly inconsiderate lane positioning thing.
It'll probably happen to me too, it's not like I'm going to be the only person in the world who doesn't deteriorate when they get old Enjoy your youth
Not so much the mantis position, but the general 40mph everywhere, leaving indicators on, slightly inconsiderate lane positioning thing.
It'll probably happen to me too, it's not like I'm going to be the only person in the world who doesn't deteriorate when they get old Enjoy your youth
Oxford1971 said:
My dad is 84, and driving for 50 years.
He's not slowed down at all, he bombs it around every where, does 90 on the motorway and races other drivers off the lights still. Legend!
My grandad is the same.He's not slowed down at all, he bombs it around every where, does 90 on the motorway and races other drivers off the lights still. Legend!
A farmer from the west of Scotland. Likes to go to markets and sheepdog trials around the country but couldn’t possibly have a whole night away from the farm! Instead bombs down the M74/M6 at 95mph for 4+ hours, then back again at night when his business is done. My dad and uncles often tell him to stop driving so far or to stay over and take it easy but I’m in the ‘if he enjoys it and is fit, why not let him crack on’ camp. He’s mid 80’s too.
CubanPete said:
Following my Mum (74) back from somewhere.
My wife uttered the words 'You don't have to keep up with your Mum you know'.
My wife uttered the words 'You don't have to keep up with your Mum you know'.
Oxford1971 said:
My dad is 84, and driving for 50 years.
He's not slowed down at all, he bombs it around every where, does 90 on the motorway and races other drivers off the lights still. Legend!
. He's not slowed down at all, he bombs it around every where, does 90 on the motorway and races other drivers off the lights still. Legend!
These two had me issuing an audible chuckle, partly for the stories and partly for the way in which they're told.
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