Cars promoted on attributes that they just don't have
Discussion
I don't know why this came to mind recently, but I recalled a series of car adverts that really baffled me as they promoted above all else an attribute that simply didn't apply.
It was back in the nineties, it was for the Rover 800, and the whole thrust of the adverts was what an amazing driver's car it was. One was about a chauffeur who was concerned that he would lose his job as his boss liked driving his Rover 800 so much that he'd take it out at night just to drive it.
The thing was, it was a rubbish 'driver's car' (we had two of them in the company car fleet at the time, an 820 and an 827 - the 827 at least had a nice engine - it was a Honda V6). Low powered, front wheel drive, over-light steering, nose heavy. It had other actual positive attributes - it looked quite smart, it was relatively good value and it was spacious and fairly comfortable and quite quiet. Plus, back then, Rover still had a degree of prestige (which good old BL destroyed by badging Metros as Rover 100s - 'it's not a proper Rover Lynn!').
So why not market it on something that will actually stand up when someone visits the showroom and tries one?
I'm sure it can't be the only car marketed on attributes that it didn't have, but it still irritates me today!
It was back in the nineties, it was for the Rover 800, and the whole thrust of the adverts was what an amazing driver's car it was. One was about a chauffeur who was concerned that he would lose his job as his boss liked driving his Rover 800 so much that he'd take it out at night just to drive it.
The thing was, it was a rubbish 'driver's car' (we had two of them in the company car fleet at the time, an 820 and an 827 - the 827 at least had a nice engine - it was a Honda V6). Low powered, front wheel drive, over-light steering, nose heavy. It had other actual positive attributes - it looked quite smart, it was relatively good value and it was spacious and fairly comfortable and quite quiet. Plus, back then, Rover still had a degree of prestige (which good old BL destroyed by badging Metros as Rover 100s - 'it's not a proper Rover Lynn!').
So why not market it on something that will actually stand up when someone visits the showroom and tries one?
I'm sure it can't be the only car marketed on attributes that it didn't have, but it still irritates me today!

Ari said:
I don't know why this came to mind recently, but I recalled a series of car adverts that really baffled me as they promoted above all else an attribute that simply didn't apply.
It was back in the nineties, it was for the Rover 800, and the whole thrust of the adverts was what an amazing driver's car it was. One was about a chauffeur who was concerned that he would lose his job as his boss liked driving his Rover 800 so much that he'd take it out at night just to drive it.
The thing was, it was a rubbish 'driver's car' (we had two of them in the company car fleet at the time, an 820 and an 827 - the 827 at least had a nice engine - it was a Honda V6). Low powered, front wheel drive, over-light steering, nose heavy. It had other actual positive attributes - it looked quite smart, it was relatively good value and it was spacious and fairly comfortable and quite quiet. Plus, back then, Rover still had a degree of prestige (which good old BL destroyed by badging Metros as Rover 100s - 'it's not a proper Rover Lynn!').
So why not market it on something that will actually stand up when someone visits the showroom and tries one?
I'm sure it can't be the only car marketed on attributes that it didn't have, but it still irritates me today!
Never driven an 800 but Number 27 on Youtube tested one and was full of praise for the way it droveIt was back in the nineties, it was for the Rover 800, and the whole thrust of the adverts was what an amazing driver's car it was. One was about a chauffeur who was concerned that he would lose his job as his boss liked driving his Rover 800 so much that he'd take it out at night just to drive it.
The thing was, it was a rubbish 'driver's car' (we had two of them in the company car fleet at the time, an 820 and an 827 - the 827 at least had a nice engine - it was a Honda V6). Low powered, front wheel drive, over-light steering, nose heavy. It had other actual positive attributes - it looked quite smart, it was relatively good value and it was spacious and fairly comfortable and quite quiet. Plus, back then, Rover still had a degree of prestige (which good old BL destroyed by badging Metros as Rover 100s - 'it's not a proper Rover Lynn!').
So why not market it on something that will actually stand up when someone visits the showroom and tries one?
I'm sure it can't be the only car marketed on attributes that it didn't have, but it still irritates me today!

Those ads were great.
I briefly worked at the farty little ad agency that does (did?) the marketing for the Colt Car Company, i.e. Mitsubishi in the UK.
They openly talked about how hard it was to promote such mediocre product, but I don't know if they ever resorted to such outright lies as "Power Should Be Beautiful" for Nigel mobiles with 150bhp, or "Made to Wow" about another blob SUV
It is a challenge though, how on earth do you promote a boring identikit product? I genuinely have no idea how people pick between a Qashqai and a Kadjar and a Kodiaq, if marketing people weren't all such tedious tossers I'd feel sorry for them having that job
ETA I've just spotted the "excitingly tough and stylish" comment about that limp wristed little Qashqai. That's just absolute gold, and by all accounts there are peope so feeble minded and pathetic that this works on them
I briefly worked at the farty little ad agency that does (did?) the marketing for the Colt Car Company, i.e. Mitsubishi in the UK.
They openly talked about how hard it was to promote such mediocre product, but I don't know if they ever resorted to such outright lies as "Power Should Be Beautiful" for Nigel mobiles with 150bhp, or "Made to Wow" about another blob SUV

It is a challenge though, how on earth do you promote a boring identikit product? I genuinely have no idea how people pick between a Qashqai and a Kadjar and a Kodiaq, if marketing people weren't all such tedious tossers I'd feel sorry for them having that job

ETA I've just spotted the "excitingly tough and stylish" comment about that limp wristed little Qashqai. That's just absolute gold, and by all accounts there are peope so feeble minded and pathetic that this works on them

Edited by GeniusOfLove on Friday 27th June 12:56
Lotobear said:
Never driven an 800 but Number 27 on Youtube tested one and was full of praise for the way it drove
Indeed i had an ex Thames Valley police driving school facelift 827 with a manual box, proved to be one of the most reliable cars i've had that wasn't a Toyota.It went like hell, whether it had been breathed on at plods own workshop i don't know, but, so i'm told, 145 and still pulling, it was indeed quiet and comfortable and handled noty all badly on its Continentals.
Engine was sweet and unbelievably smooth, almost silent at tickover.
My late brothers next door neighbour was a Norfolk motorcycle cop, he knew exactly what it was on sight for some reason, said they wanted those at his station but couldn't have them for some reason.
Its failing was in the brakes, they worked well enough but i think were undersized for the perfomance available, probably the same as the basic 820, in the police workshop service history (a revelation in comprehensive servicing) it had seen multiple sets of front discs and pads, in my ownership this continued with heat warping the discs, i wonder if its Legend stablemate had beefier brakes?
Smint said:
Its failing was in the brakes, they worked well enough but i think were undersized for the perfomance available, probably the same as the basic 820, in the police workshop service history (a revelation in comprehensive servicing) it had seen multiple sets of front discs and pads, in my ownership this continued with heat warping the discs, i wonder if its Legend stablemate had beefier brakes?
The 200bhp 820 Vitesse often came with the same brakes as the weediest model and they were hopelessly undersized for what was at the time a quick car, I used to destroy front discs in weeks.The 827 would have come with (slightly) larger brakes, people used to retrofit them to the later 2.0 turbo cars. 285mm vs 262mm from memory, both hopelessly undersized, you wouldn't put discs that small on the rear of a 1.4 ton 200bhp car now.
Edited by GeniusOfLove on Friday 27th June 13:05
ChocolateFrog said:
They're all great examples 
I think manufacturers struggle because they can't advertise much of anything about speed and handling. Allied to the fact most normal cars are far from pretty there's really not much left.
Those limp SUVs don't have any speed and handling either though. That said the "excitingly tough and stylish" Qashqai has the same engine as the pizza delivery boys Micra and feels like a biscuit tin, so I think these people are untethered from truth.
I think manufacturers struggle because they can't advertise much of anything about speed and handling. Allied to the fact most normal cars are far from pretty there's really not much left.
I suppose if you don't resort to lies what do you say about a car whose stand out sector defining feature is fake stitching moulded into the dash and a light in the glovebox even on base models?
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