The pop-up spoiler has become something of a regular fixture in modern cars. We can assume that it owes much to the original Audi TT whose slippery shape caused rear axle lift a high speed, and which was subsequently blamed for some high speed accidents. What was the first pop-up spoiler? The Thema 8.32? That pre-dates the VW Corrado whose neatly integrated ducktail was originally programmed to rise at 70mph -thereby giving Mr Plod a perfect source of evidence.
Harris was a fan of the sleek looking Audi A7...
Once a marketing novelty, the electric lift-reducer is now commonplace, especially it would seem on VW group products. All Porsches bar the Cayman sprout something at speed, as do many Audis. The need to keep the rear axle on terra-firma should offer the styling department a perfect opportunity to get creative and beautiful, but having seen most of these protrusions fully-deployed over the past few weeks, it's hard to conclude that they are anything other than a bit ropey.
Take the Porsche 991. Neatly packaged around the arse area in the Porsche tradition, but once in full downforce mode it takes on the appearance of something that has been rear-ended by a Mercedes Sprinter. And underneath the rather apologetic winglet you can see nasty black plastic. It's horrid.
...until this sprouted from the bootlid
And only beaten in the spoiling (pun intended) stakes by the new Boxster's wing. Its crime is perhaps more pernicious than the 911's because it utterly destroys the lines of the best looking Porsche since the Carrera GT. I wince whenever I overtake one on the M4. If I owned one I think I'd pull the fuse and stomach a few wobbles on Autobahn slip-roads. The Cayman is similarly afflicted, but the effect isn't as bad.
First prize must go to the Audi A7. At low speed this car, to my eyes, has one of the most pleasing silhouettes around, long, graceful and elegant. And then above a certain speed the whole thing gets mangled by the most crass, awkward rear aerofoil imaginable. The effect is startling and educational for numbskulls like me who never pay enough attention to the crucial work of design and styling teams. A thin sliver of bodywork rises a few inches from an A7 bootlid and suddenly it looks like a dog with worms, dragging its bottom along the ground.
If you're going to do it you may as well do it properly
Are there any genuinely appealing hidden spoilers in sale right now? One that you might, if you were feeling a little flash, choose to keep elevated at low speed - were such a function available. Incidentally, you can do this in a Panamera, which is odd in the Turbo, even with its swanky double-hinged effort, but is plain baffling in lesser models which simply push a piece of glossy plastic four inches skywards.
Later this year all will be saved by the McLaren P1. In full downforce mode the rear wing looks like it'll make then car wheelie above 70mph. I know it's the type of car that can accommodate such drama, but I love the way McLaren has decided to go completely OTT.
