Alternatives To a Prenup?

Author
Discussion

Monkeylegend

23,561 posts

208 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
Tyre Tread said:
LordHaveMurci said:
Don’t get married.
This if there's any doubt it won't work as a marriage.
This or a Declaration of Trust.

Big Rig

8,604 posts

164 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
LordHaveMurci said:
Don’t get married.
This x10.

Cold

12,807 posts

67 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
As above. Pre-nup? Nah, what you need is a No-nup.

Porsche guy

3,408 posts

204 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
The other thing you could do OP is to purchase a 'spare' house with the same value as the one you're going to live in.
That way, you've got the major divorce costs out of the way! For if/when it happens?

Curledge

364 posts

5 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
Pte nup or no marriage, simples.

Cultural differences my ar53, she will be off within a couple of years with half your cash.

Buyer beware

Tyre Tread

10,002 posts

193 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
Suggest you settle down with a nice drink and start reading here: https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Might give you some insight into just how quickly things can go wrong and how pre-meditated some of the situations are to part a (usually) man from his cash.

BSE.

9 posts

1 month

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
Has anyone suggested, not getting married ?
wink

longblackcoat

5,025 posts

160 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
To a certain degree it depends on the value and how much you'd want to spend legally if it came to a dispute.

Essentially, anything classified as a 'long' marriage will, in the case of divorce, see a division of property that is likely to be equal, or very close to it, whether or not the parties’ wealth has all come from one party. What makes a long marriage? Case law isn't all that clear - 20 years ago something accepted as a long marriage would be 15-20 years, but nowadays anything much over 5 might fall into that territory.

So if you got divorced reasonably soon - say, three years in - then any divorce lawyers would look more to what you bought into that marriage, but after around 5 years you'd find it a lot harder to argue.

To take it to extremes, if the property was worth £100m but in every other respect you and your wife were just your average middle-class couple, then a judge might acknowledge the massively disproportionate value of the property you'd brought into the marriage in any settlement, but if you're talking about a standard property that you happen to part-own, I'd say this would be unlikely.

If you have doubts and are not prepared to fully embrace the sharing element of marriage, then it's clearly not for you

PurplePangolin

1,844 posts

10 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
BSE. said:
Has anyone suggested, not getting married ?
wink
Good shout wink Why does anyone get married these days? Very odd

Kilkerran

98 posts

189 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
What did your partner suggest when you talked to her about it?

Vasco

12,693 posts

82 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
What is the benefit in getting married these days?. I can't think of any.

Milner993

1,110 posts

139 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
Shotgun and a deep hole!










Only joking, don't get married!

gottans

4,991 posts

122 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
Kilkerran said:
What did your partner suggest when you talked to her about it?
I can imagine it would be something like 'if you loved me it wouldn't matter'.

And women wonder why some men have committment issues.

austinsmirk

4,945 posts

100 months

Saturday 14th May
quotequote all
The moment you have children: it’s all out of the window. Are we talking serious money or just a couple of quid in a house.

Mr Tidy

17,113 posts

104 months

Sunday 15th May
quotequote all
LordHaveMurci said:
Don’t get married.
+1

Been there, done that, paid the price!

LordHaveMurci

11,269 posts

146 months

Sunday 15th May
quotequote all
austinsmirk said:
The moment you have children: it’s all out of the window.
If unmarried, not so much.

MDUBZ

549 posts

77 months

Sunday 15th May
quotequote all
Vasco said:
What is the benefit in getting married these days?. I can't think of any.
I've been in a relationship >20 years, 3 kids (not married yet despite the constant ear ache to do so). The business case really centres around tax avoidance: if only 1 of the couple is working i think you can gain some of their allowance, and in the event of death, you can pass your tax free inheritance threshold to your spouse; useful if you have assets over £375K and children you want to pass it to rather than giving it to HMRC. With gifting, combined, you can avoid inheritance up to £1M. Perversely, as equity increases in my property marriage makes more sense not less the older i get... maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic lol

As others have said, the 2nd charge on the property for your parents is a bad idea for inheritance reasons and can create a capital gains burden on them in the the event you sell at some point in the future.

get the prenup..


Edited by MDUBZ on Sunday 15th May 07:22

The Mad Monk

9,715 posts

94 months

Sunday 15th May
quotequote all
Statistically 50% of marriages have broken down in 5 years.

Each one of those couple thought that this was the one.

A lot of people go on to get married for a second time (sigh).

Some people even get married for a third time (sigh).

Dennis Waterman gor married four times........

Edit.

I thank that if "cultural reasons" have got into decision making this early in your marriage - and it obviously isn't your culture that is the sticking point - then I would be going back to the dating agency and starting again.

Edited by The Mad Monk on Sunday 15th May 07:40

Pit Pony

5,750 posts

98 months

Sunday 15th May
quotequote all
BSE. said:
Has anyone suggested, not getting married ?
wink
After 32 years of marriage, I'd definitely suggest that if you go into it not believing that failure will cost you everything, then you are a fool.

By everything, I mean financially, mentally, socially, physically.

You Give everything you have. They give everything they have. To not do that, and a marriage can not survive the st that happens in life.

Asking for a prenuptial agreement is saying, I'm not giving everything to this marriage. Why then should they give everything to it?
So how will it survive?

What the fk is marriage anyway? My wife gets to decide if they turn off my life support or not, instead of my parents? Well I'm sure a lawyer could sort out a POA for that. Anything else? Any tax advantages?

Oh wait. Children. Society has stopped stigmatising children if parents who are not married. We no longer call them bds.

Anything else?

In summary.... What was the question. Ah prenup. No.




Pit Pony

5,750 posts

98 months

Sunday 15th May
quotequote all
gottans said:
Kilkerran said:
What did your partner suggest when you talked to her about it?
I can imagine it would be something like 'if you loved me it wouldn't matter'.

And women wonder why some men have committment issues.
There isn't a woman that I know, that wouldn't be offended, or take faux-offence at the suggestion of a prenuptial agreement. Some would never be seen again, and others would use that conversation, to screw your mind so badly, that you'll wish you never met them. Others will eventually sign it and wait until the time is right, and screw you for every fking penny.

Just for clarity, my bride to be paid off my (student) over-draft, before we were married. We both saved up jointly, the deposit for our first house, and whilst I've always been the higher earner we both see this as an equal partnership.