Thoughts on Vauxhall Mokka Design

Thoughts on Vauxhall Mokka Design

Author
Discussion

Roboticarm

1,450 posts

60 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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Best car I've ever driven
Had one as a hire, people would wave as I drove past, small children would say "nice car Mr" and a bloke in a suit asked me what I did for a living, driving such a car he had assumed I was a stockbroker or a high flying city lawyer.
I took it to the nurbergring on my way to my winery and over took the ring taxi twice.
The only way they could further improve it would be to provide a bodyguard because I was having to hide from all the super models who wanted to jump in for a ride

Tbf though, for a 2wd soft roader they aren't bad looking and they handle okay

Jimmy Recard

17,540 posts

178 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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Monkeylegend said:
Its just the usual PH Vauxhall bashing, we have these threads on a regular basis.

If you want to be one of the "in crowd" on here you have to jump on the Vauxhall are crap bandwagon. To say anything else would mean you have to have a balanced opinion and didn't mind what others think of you.

PHer's are special, we are gifted with knowledge that the ignorant, council, in bred, British public don't have, we are king.

Well that's what some like to think, bless them smile
Yep. Repeat some Jeremy Clarkson rubbish about a car you’ve never driven to show you know everything.

They’re mostly just comparable to the competition, so choose whatever car you like and don’t feel ashamed about it

Monkeylegend

26,222 posts

230 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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I remember the time when everyone thought Skoda were crap, well they are not laughing now, as BM would say.

Wacky Racer

38,099 posts

246 months

Monday 27th January 2020
quotequote all
Jimmy Recard said:
Monkeylegend said:
Its just the usual PH Vauxhall bashing, we have these threads on a regular basis.

If you want to be one of the "in crowd" on here you have to jump on the Vauxhall are crap bandwagon. To say anything else would mean you have to have a balanced opinion and didn't mind what others think of you.

PHer's are special, we are gifted with knowledge that the ignorant, council, in bred, British public don't have, we are king.

Well that's what some like to think, bless them smile
Yep. Repeat some Jeremy Clarkson rubbish about a car you’ve never driven to show you know everything.

They’re mostly just comparable to the competition, so choose whatever car you like and don’t feel ashamed about it
This. All our new Vauxhalls (four in the last ten years) have been great, 100% reliable, no dealer issues whatsoever.

Mexman

2,442 posts

83 months

Monday 27th January 2020
quotequote all
Its a future classic, i tell ya.

rallycross

12,741 posts

236 months

Monday 27th January 2020
quotequote all
Mexman said:
Its a future classic, i tell ya.
Yes I’ve heard there is already a stand set aside for one in the design museum, Vauxhall have not been able to send one yet due to the waiting lists for these dynamic masterpieces of engineering!

Just to be clear, I don’t have any negative view of the brand. In fact I’ve had some great Vauxhall’s (years ago) but this model is an automotive turd which tends to be driven badly (just pay attention in future when you see one and observe how badly driven they are.


bloomen

6,830 posts

158 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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GeorgeMokka said:
Hi,
Also do you think I should feel shame for driving a car which isn’t being made by Vauxhall anymore?
I knew a guy who had a Carlton bought just shortly before they stopped making them.

He did his very best to keep fighting but sadly he passed away a few weeks after the production line was repurposed.

The last few days were a swampy nightmare of screaming, dung throwing, incontinence, babbling and rocking back and forth.

Did the Vauxhall dealer care? No comment.


Monkeylegend said:
Its just the usual PH Vauxhall bashing, we have these threads on a regular basis.

If you want to be one of the "in crowd" on here you have to jump on the Vauxhall are crap bandwagon. To say anything else would mean you have to have a balanced opinion and didn't mind what others think of you.

PHer's are special, we are gifted with knowledge that the ignorant, council, in bred, British public don't have, we are king.
I've driven many Vauxhall hire cars. I LOATHED all of them apart from a recent Astra which was pretty good.

Edited by bloomen on Monday 27th January 10:44

rallye101

1,865 posts

196 months

Monday 27th January 2020
quotequote all
Was offered one a year ago on the cheap when the family golf was having DPF tantrums so I bought it..

Its okay, looks okay too. The petrol engine is woeful, hates to rev and its relatively thirsty.

Gets on with the school run and a few long distance trips and nothings fallen off..I only paid £6k a year ago and webuyanycar have just offered £7.5k so I must have got a good deal.

The best thing about it is the heated steering wheel which sums it up really..

And7R

96 posts

55 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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Beautiful stunning car which can easily do 70mph so why buy anything else?

Off road capability to embarrass a Land Rover and sleek enough to be in a museum.

The SE truly is a magnificent beast.

rallycross

12,741 posts

236 months

Monday 27th January 2020
quotequote all
I've noticed how protective the owners of these beauties can be.

It seams they will often park over 2 spaces to protect the fine paintwork, from any careless fellow motorists bashing their doors into their P&J (or have I got that wrong?)!


miken2k8

362 posts

82 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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i formed my opinion of the mokka being the aldi of cars from experience. They are usually driven badly, not in an aggressive way like german cars but in a dawdling making last minit decisions type of way.

Driven a fw they are ok cars and i get why iceland mums would want one for the perceived extra safety.

Can't imagine anyone would pick one over even a juke and they are pretty terrible. You can see the six lights coming from a mile away on them look ridiculous

miken2k8

362 posts

82 months

Monday 27th January 2020
quotequote all
rallycross said:
I've noticed how protective the owners of these beauties can be.

It seams they will often park over 2 spaces to protect the fine paintwork, from any careless fellow motorists bashing their doors into their P&J (or have I got that wrong?)!

no they just can't park properly

rallycross

12,741 posts

236 months

Monday 27th January 2020
quotequote all
Krupp88 said:
Research shows that 98% of women doing the school run in PJ's and dressing gowns are Vauxhall owners.

The most desirable provenance for a second hand Mokka is to have a 'Chantelle' down as the previous owner, if your lucky you might find a Pandora charm down the side of the seat.
This fits the bill, they usually trade in a shagged out and battered Zafira for their new Mokka.

I've seen so many badly driven Mokka's when I see one now on the same bit of road as me I immediately think
CAUTION! What's this driver going to do next?

Like this, you have to watch the clip to see the delayed reaction time as the driver wakes up from their comatose driving style:


https://youtu.be/wBbo1yRYM14


Edited by rallycross on Monday 27th January 12:20

Johnnytheboy

24,498 posts

185 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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Many pensioners drive Mokkas.

A lifetime of experience has honed excellent taste and we should acknowledge that.

AC43

11,432 posts

207 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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Oppo said:
Vauxhall's are for people who live near a Vauxhall dealer and haven't tried anything else.
I was talking my teenage son about them and apparently they are know as "benefit cars" in his school.

Johnnytheboy

24,498 posts

185 months

Monday 27th January 2020
quotequote all
AC43 said:
I was talking my teenage son about them and apparently they are know as "benefit cars" in his school.
roflroflrofl

Jamescrs

4,437 posts

64 months

Monday 27th January 2020
quotequote all
Johnnytheboy said:
Many pensioners drive Mokkas.

A lifetime of experience has honed excellent taste and we should acknowledge that.
My inlaws are case in point, both pensioners and own a Mokka in white, infact it's their second and prior they had a series of Corsas and Asttras over the years I have known them.

They have zero interest in cars or driving and the Mokka with it's high seating position makes access easy for them and they can get grandkids in the back so they are happy with their lot, to be fair I've never known them have any significant failures with any of their cars

Lt. Coulomb

202 posts

53 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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Rebadged Opel.

astrsxi77

302 posts

220 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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The Mokka can be driven over any distance (from one centimetre, to any distance) with its electrically folding door mirrors flat against the doors.


uncleluck

484 posts

50 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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AC43 said:
I was talking my teenage son about them and apparently they are know as "benefit cars" in his school.
Often seen pulling forward in to parking spaces too hehe