Alternatives To a Prenup?

Author
Discussion

TheGreatDane

Original Poster:

322 posts

47 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
Hi All,

So I will be getting married this year and I have a property which is mortgaged (just on my name) with a large chunk of equity within it that was gifted to me by my parents.

The go to to protect my rear end would be a prenup but due to (sigh) cultural reasons a prenup will go down like a lead balloon so is out of the question.

What options do I have to protect myself if the worst happens to transpire?

Thanks

vonhosen

38,632 posts

194 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
Tenants in Common?

LordHaveMurci

11,259 posts

146 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
Don’t get married.

kiethton

12,978 posts

157 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
vonhosen said:
Tenants in Common?
Marriage trumps this no?

My view would to be to write a letter detailing the % share your parents contributed and that the letter states in the event of sale they have a second charge to the mortgage co. If signed and lodged with the solicitor pre marriage (ideally on purchase) you won't be accused of anything either.

In the event of a split the mortgage co gets repaid, your parents get repaid (what happens after that is irrelevant) and whatever is left is split by the divorce courts.

Canon_Fodder

904 posts

40 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
kiethton said:
Marriage trumps this no?

My view would to be to write a letter detailing the % share your parents contributed and that the letter states in the event of sale they have a second charge to the mortgage co. If signed and lodged with the solicitor pre marriage (ideally on purchase) you won't be accused of anything either.

In the event of a split the mortgage co gets repaid, your parents get repaid (what happens after that is irrelevant) and whatever is left is split by the divorce courts.
May have inheritance taxes issues for the parents perhaps... (Just something to bear in mind)

Ussrcossack

321 posts

19 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
If you are having doubts now.... don't get married

deckster

7,381 posts

232 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
Was the money gifted to you, or was it a loan?

If it was a gift then the money is yours, and there's no way your parents can claim a charge over the house for it. If it's a loan, then I hope you have paperwork to back that up as otherwise it's going to be very hard to prove. And in that case, were your mortgage company aware that the money you used to buy the house wasn't yours and will have to be paid pack to your parents? In any event they are unlikely to be excessively happy about somebody else taking out a charge again the property.

But beyond that, I'm rather old-fashioned and do have to agree with others that marriage is sort of a big deal, till death do us parts, what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours kind of thing. If you don't trust your wife-to-be enough to not run off with half the house then you probably shouldn't be getting married.

Canon_Fodder

904 posts

40 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
^ I read it that the OP's folks had gifted him the house free-and-clear and he'd then taken out a mortgage (to raise some readies presumably)

OP could you clarify please?

TheGreatDane

Original Poster:

322 posts

47 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
The house was sold to me at the outstanding mortgage price and the equity gifted to me by my parents, not loaned.

Its falls below the IHT threshold per parents as both were on the deed.

I trust her completely to be clear, but I've witnessed some utter horror stories right in front of my eyes from people I didn't expect hence wanting to find out in the worst case scenario what can I do to protect myself.


Canon_Fodder

904 posts

40 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
Gotcha - thanks.

It's an interesting question. I think you're very sensible to be considering this

Largechris

1,237 posts

68 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
I know you've said a prenup is out due to cultural reasons, though apparently Judges do give some weight to them in UK Courts:

https://www.acclaimedfamilylaw.co.uk/blog/guide-to...

Be fascinating if anyone comes up with the answer you're looking for, but my understanding as others have said is that marriage, yours is hers, till death etc. etc. kind of trumps everything, more so the longer it lasts.

I'm guessing your parents have doubts. Which I think shouldn't be a concern, they gave the money freely to you and should have considered all the possible outcomes.

Canon_Fodder

904 posts

40 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
OP I think you may have to transfer ownership of the house (or at least a part share of it) back to your parents

theboss

5,887 posts

196 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
If it goes down like a lead balloon I'd take that as a warning sign tbh. Whatever the cultural differences, one spouse is about to benefit significantly from the other's existing home ownership, and it would be a reasonable sign of good faith to agree to sign something to allow the other some protection should the relationship go South.

When I re-married, I had a few conversations with solicitors. They said for it to be of any value in a UK divorce, you'd really need to show that both parties had a decent amount of time to review and agree it having each sought proper independent advice. If you presented it at last moment as a condition of proceeding with an imminent marriage, it would hold no weight, as it would effectively be signed under duress. Something along those lines.

paintman

7,041 posts

167 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
TheGreatDane said:
Hi All,

So I will be getting married this year and I have a property which is mortgaged (just on my name) with a large chunk of equity within it that was gifted to me by my parents.

The go to to protect my rear end would be a prenup but due to (sigh) cultural reasons a prenup will go down like a lead balloon so is out of the question.

What options do I have to protect myself if the worst happens to transpire?

Thanks
As this is your line of thinking then this marriage - or even letting your girlfriend/boyfriend move in & living together long term with them - is most definitely not a good idea.

V1nce Fox

4,514 posts

45 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
Ussrcossack said:
If you are having doubts now.... don't get married
Absolutely this.

CharlesElliott

1,446 posts

259 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
You can have a deed of understanding but that's basically just a pre-nup. I don't see how you can protect yourself unless she signs something and agrees to it, which surely amounts to the same thing. Assuming you remain married for a reasonable period, and both parties contribute to the marriage (e.g. work, look after the house, childcare if appropriate) then the starting point for a settlement would be 50/50 of all assets.

Porsche guy

3,406 posts

204 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
V1nce Fox said:
Ussrcossack said:
If you are having doubts now.... don't get married
Absolutely this.
What he said..smile

Tyre Tread

9,997 posts

193 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
LordHaveMurci said:
Don’t get married.
This if there's any doubt it won't work as a marriage.


theboss

5,887 posts

196 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
Any realist would have doubts - just look at the statistics.

Going in blissfully thinking you're different and that it can never happen to you, is more dangerous IMO

Durzel

11,137 posts

145 months

Friday 13th May
quotequote all
The simple answer is not to get married.

Getting married means that in the divorce the starting point for assets owned by both parties is 50/50. From the sounds of it you’d come out a lot worse if it was just that.

If you ended up having kids then you could easily find yourself turfed out and ultimately paying towards the house you’re no longer even living in.

That’s the reality I’m afraid.