Match.com (Volume 6)

Match.com (Volume 6)

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EL11SEG

1,813 posts

130 months

Monday 11th March 2019
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technodup said:
I think you guys are doing it wrong.

FWIW my advice is get decent pics. At least one full length and at least one in an obviously social setting, and be dressed in a way which women find attractive. Remove any pics of cars, hobbies, or outdoor type stuff. A bit in the bio but not too much, and don't set any expectations, keep it open. Then if you're messaging first ffs make it original and preferably witty. Don't compliment her, everyone else is doing that. I go for something a bit left field, like "dogs or cats?". And when you go on the date make a bit of an effort, they will have. Don't get dragged into 'how do you find Tinder" rubbish, they're still on it so it's obvious. If you're stuck ask for their worst date story, they love to tell them. Helps if you've got a good one too. I like to do drinks rather than food, and I always aim to get them as close to my house as possible. One because I'm lazy, and two in case it progresses quickly. And make sure they've got enough pics that you're not being led down a dark alley. If they've only got head shots, filtered ones or very few ask for more before you commit. BUT you've got to be clever how you ask!
Well thank the lord I found this. POF date on Sunday and he turned up filthy, reeking of smoke and his profile pic was probably a good 7 years out! Also when he mentioned his kids he ended up in tears. I used that as my get out of jail card later when he asked if there was anything ahead for us.

Is it really worth upgrading to Elitesingles or Match? I remember having an account years back but came off it as hardly anyone lived near me and obviously all men in the highlands are tight censored and won't pay to get on these sites.

poing

8,664 posts

150 months

Monday 11th March 2019
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EL11SEG said:
Is it really worth upgrading to Elitesingles or Match? I remember having an account years back but came off it as hardly anyone lived near me and obviously all men in the highlands are tight censored and won't pay to get on these sites.
Damn right we don't! Not getting caught out by that scam again. Last time I paid for the posh dating site there were less than 5 women on there anything like my requirements and every single one of them were already on the free sites.

Anyway, no time for this dating stuff as I've got some pockets to extend and a few clouds to shout at.

CharlesdeGaulle

11,572 posts

130 months

Monday 11th March 2019
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Bulgarian. Middle-aged. Divorced. On the scale: (1) could be a laugh/what could possibly go wrong, to (10) about to have your organs harvested. Where?

Flibble

5,176 posts

131 months

Monday 11th March 2019
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CharlesdeGaulle said:
Bulgarian. Middle-aged. Divorced. On the scale: (1) could be a laugh/what could possibly go wrong, to (10) about to have your organs harvested. Where?
I'll have a 9 please Bob.

EL11SEG

1,813 posts

130 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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poing said:
EL11SEG said:
Is it really worth upgrading to Elitesingles or Match? I remember having an account years back but came off it as hardly anyone lived near me and obviously all men in the highlands are tight censored and won't pay to get on these sites.
Damn right we don't! Not getting caught out by that scam again. Last time I paid for the posh dating site there were less than 5 women on there anything like my requirements and every single one of them were already on the free sites.

Anyway, no time for this dating stuff as I've got some pockets to extend and a few clouds to shout at.
I am such a mug... Logged on to Match, straight off the bat..... oohh here's a month for £4.99, payment sent. Then here upgrade for £9.99! In my defence it was early in the morning and I was not running on all cylinders at the time. I would say there is maybe 30 more faces than on POF. rolleyes

V8covin

2,473 posts

143 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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Match has been the worst site ever for me.
In the 1st week I had a few matches and 2 dates off it, hardly a sniff since.That was back in October.I won't be renewing my 6 month membership

Bluesgirl

300 posts

41 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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I was on Match ages ago. I noticed that the number of messages/likes/looks etc suddenly increased when my subscription was about to expire, or just after it had, trying to get me to pay up for more of the same rubbish.

Try OK Cupid. I met my partner on there nearly 2 years ago. I wrote quite a light-hearted couple of paragraphs on my profile and worked on the basis that if matches couldn't string a sentence together on their profile, they probably couldn't do so by text or in real life either. So the "Hiya Babe" approaches didn't get far. Tinder was quite good too.

EL11SEG

1,813 posts

130 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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poing said:
Anyway, no time for this dating stuff as I've got some pockets to extend and a few clouds to shout at.
How did that go? Are pockets down to your ankles now biggrin

EL11SEG

1,813 posts

130 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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Bluesgirl said:
Try OK Cupid. I met my partner on there nearly 2 years ago. I wrote quite a light-hearted couple of paragraphs on my profile and worked on the basis that if matches couldn't string a sentence together on their profile, they probably couldn't do so by text or in real life either. So the "Hiya Babe" approaches didn't get far. Tinder was quite good too.
Sunday disaster date was Tinder, to be fair for him I had nowt on my profile, had he found me on POF I can bet he would not have been in contact and if I hadn't asked questions not much in the way of conversation would have taken place on Sunday either.

mjb1

2,300 posts

109 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
quotequote all
EL11SEG said:
poing said:
EL11SEG said:
Is it really worth upgrading to Elitesingles or Match? I remember having an account years back but came off it as hardly anyone lived near me and obviously all men in the highlands are tight censored and won't pay to get on these sites.
Damn right we don't! Not getting caught out by that scam again. Last time I paid for the posh dating site there were less than 5 women on there anything like my requirements and every single one of them were already on the free sites.

Anyway, no time for this dating stuff as I've got some pockets to extend and a few clouds to shout at.
I am such a mug... Logged on to Match, straight off the bat..... oohh here's a month for £4.99, payment sent. Then here upgrade for £9.99! In my defence it was early in the morning and I was not running on all cylinders at the time. I would say there is maybe 30 more faces than on POF. rolleyes
Elite Singles is definitely a waste of time, match is going the same way I think. The subscription based sites are struggling compared to the ones that have free basic account models, and then try and sell you an optional upgrade. Certainly no need for a woman to be paying for online dating these days, the free options work plenty well enough. I think it's Elite Singles that has a rep for showing you lots of potential matches, and then when you subscribe you find out that almost none of the matches are subscribers themselves, and you can't message each other anyway.

I paid for the 'upgrade' on Bumble, only to discover that the only real extra you get is the ability to partially see who has swiped right on you (and then you can't even see their full profile, just their photos). Turns out most of them are miles away, I only come onto their match list based on my location when I was passing through. So that is a complete waste of time.

I have matched and exchanged a couple of messages with what seems like a nice Australian woman, but she lives about an hours drive away, so can't see that going anywhere practically. She seems to have gone quiet when I told her I've got kids (it's on my profile, and I didn't mention them in our conversation until she asked).

feef

4,721 posts

133 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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mjb1 said:
Elite Singles is definitely a waste of time, match is going the same way I think. The subscription based sites are struggling compared to the ones that have free basic account models, and then try and sell you an optional upgrade. Certainly no need for a woman to be paying for online dating these days, the free options work plenty well enough. I think it's Elite Singles that has a rep for showing you lots of potential matches, and then when you subscribe you find out that almost none of the matches are subscribers themselves, and you can't message each other anyway.

I paid for the 'upgrade' on Bumble, only to discover that the only real extra you get is the ability to partially see who has swiped right on you (and then you can't even see their full profile, just their photos). Turns out most of them are miles away, I only come onto their match list based on my location when I was passing through. So that is a complete waste of time.

I have matched and exchanged a couple of messages with what seems like a nice Australian woman, but she lives about an hours drive away, so can't see that going anywhere practically. She seems to have gone quiet when I told her I've got kids (it's on my profile, and I didn't mention them in our conversation until she asked).
That's what's stopped me subbing to tinder or bumble premium stuff, I've got my location requirements and I've swiped enough that I have no-one left in my area, so anyone that's swiped right on me is going to be too far away (and I've already got my distance limits set further than I would normally travel)

Bluesgirl

300 posts

41 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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My partner lives an hour away (more if the M25's bad). We met up at pubs mid-way for the first couple of dates - half an hour's drive is ok for a date, I think.

I'm very glad I didn't rule out people an hour away or we'd never have met.

technodup

6,204 posts

80 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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feef said:
That's what's stopped me subbing to tinder or bumble premium stuff, I've got my location requirements and I've swiped enough that I have no-one left in my area, so anyone that's swiped right on me is going to be too far away (and I've already got my distance limits set further than I would normally travel)
I have 40odd in my Bumble thing that have OK'd me, which I can pay to see, but the way I figure it they must be munters or else we'd have matched. smile

feef

4,721 posts

133 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
quotequote all
technodup said:
feef said:
That's what's stopped me subbing to tinder or bumble premium stuff, I've got my location requirements and I've swiped enough that I have no-one left in my area, so anyone that's swiped right on me is going to be too far away (and I've already got my distance limits set further than I would normally travel)
I have 40odd in my Bumble thing that have OK'd me, which I can pay to see, but the way I figure it they must be munters or else we'd have matched. smile
Exactly smile

Although I do have a friend who was on Tinder and we didn't even appear for each other despite being within search parameters which we found interesting

Blown2CV

22,935 posts

153 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
quotequote all
feef said:
technodup said:
feef said:
That's what's stopped me subbing to tinder or bumble premium stuff, I've got my location requirements and I've swiped enough that I have no-one left in my area, so anyone that's swiped right on me is going to be too far away (and I've already got my distance limits set further than I would normally travel)
I have 40odd in my Bumble thing that have OK'd me, which I can pay to see, but the way I figure it they must be munters or else we'd have matched. smile
Exactly smile

Although I do have a friend who was on Tinder and we didn't even appear for each other despite being within search parameters which we found interesting
why don't you just stop messing around and nail Derek.

mjb1

2,300 posts

109 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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Bluesgirl said:
My partner lives an hour away (more if the M25's bad). We met up at pubs mid-way for the first couple of dates - half an hour's drive is ok for a date, I think.

I'm very glad I didn't rule out people an hour away or we'd never have met.
How does it work once things progress beyond those first few dates, if you don't mind me asking? Any intention of moving closer together longer term?

I like my space/independence, and being in a relationship but not actually living together suits me quite well I think. But a two hour round trip to visit each other must put a bit of a dampener on things? 10 to 20 miles away would be perfect for me. It's not that I wouldn't travel further to date someone nice, but I've also no intention of relocating due to work location and kid's schooling etc.

Bluesgirl

300 posts

41 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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Well, so far it hasn't been practicable for us to move in together, but he stays at mine one night during the week and every weekend. It works well that way as my kids are independent now, so we have the place to ourselves, more or less. My youngest will be off to uni in September, so then I'll start thinking more seriously about moving.

Also, I'm very independent and was on my own as a single mum for a very long time, so it's taken a lot of getting used to being a couple, not having to do everything single-handedly and having someone else around the house with me too. I'd become a bit of a control freak, but I think it's all getting much easier now.

ETA I do believe that if you find the right person and you both want to make it work, you'll find a way. Whereas, if you don't even look, or you put too many restrictions on what you're looking for, you're limiting your chances. Imagine all the people that could be just beyond that arbitrary boundary you've chosen. They aren't all going to be tied to kids' schools, jobs that can't move etc.

Edited by Bluesgirl on Tuesday 12th March 15:19

speedyguy

4,258 posts

153 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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V8covin said:
Match has been the worst site ever for me.
In the 1st week I had a few matches and 2 dates off it, hardly a sniff since.That was back in October.I won't be renewing my 6 month membership
Don't worry they'll probably Autorenew it for you thumbup it's a big thing they like to do smile

feef

4,721 posts

133 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
quotequote all
speedyguy said:
V8covin said:
Match has been the worst site ever for me.
In the 1st week I had a few matches and 2 dates off it, hardly a sniff since.That was back in October.I won't be renewing my 6 month membership
Don't worry they'll probably Autorenew it for you thumbup it's a big thing they like to do smile
I've just set a reminder on my phone to cancel my subscription to match, as it can only be done 48 hrs before and 24hrs after :/


Bluesgirl

300 posts

41 months

Tuesday 12th March 2019
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If you cancel your direct debit anyway, what can they do about it?
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