Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
BossHogg said:
Watching a home renovation program with her indoors. They were looking at putting in folding doors to open up a wall. She says, "I wish we had space to get those bisexual doors" quick as a flash, I replied, "do they swing both ways?" I just got a blank look! 
Brilliant. I suppose it depends on if they identify as a door or a window these days 
havoc said:
DocJock said:
Me: I thought you were buying that MX5 today.
Her: Yeah, but I bought a horse instead.
Is your other half related to these guys...Her: Yeah, but I bought a horse instead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8
This is the same woman who said she had part-exchanged her Honda Civic because it was "too big" and came back with a Mazda Premacy!
BreakingBad said:
The memory kinda lingers iirc.
(I occasionally sing the “if I had a bomb and a plane to drop it from, I’d drop it on you, world leaders” and of course a verse or two from “I like trucking and I like to truck” Ah, they don’t write them like that any more).
Let's not forget the NTNOCN classics "Mod Monarch" & "Gob on you"(I occasionally sing the “if I had a bomb and a plane to drop it from, I’d drop it on you, world leaders” and of course a verse or two from “I like trucking and I like to truck” Ah, they don’t write them like that any more).
Me - Where has the coffee gone?
Her - I put it in a new pot I bought.
Me - Where is the de-caff?
Her - What De-caff, I just put both jars into the new pot.
Me - I bought some De-caff as I am trying to cut down on caffeine
Her - Well now you have 50% caffeine free coffee, perfect for weaning you off it.
Her - I put it in a new pot I bought.
Me - Where is the de-caff?
Her - What De-caff, I just put both jars into the new pot.
Me - I bought some De-caff as I am trying to cut down on caffeine
Her - Well now you have 50% caffeine free coffee, perfect for weaning you off it.
skilly1 said:
Me - Where has the coffee gone?
Her - I put it in a new pot I bought.
Me - Where is the de-caff?
Her - What De-caff, I just put both jars into the new pot.
Me - I bought some De-caff as I am trying to cut down on caffeine
Her - Well now you have 50% caffeine free coffee, perfect for weaning you off it.
Fair. As the pot gets half empty add some more decafe. Then it's 25%. Her - I put it in a new pot I bought.
Me - Where is the de-caff?
Her - What De-caff, I just put both jars into the new pot.
Me - I bought some De-caff as I am trying to cut down on caffeine
Her - Well now you have 50% caffeine free coffee, perfect for weaning you off it.
Rinse and repeat. 12.5%
6%
3%
1.5%
Give it a good shake each time.
I went decafe after a heart attack in 2020.
Finding myself much less angry.
My wife does this really annoying and stupid thing when introducing me to a friend of hers who I've never met, when there is also another friend of hers present who I know very well, it happened earlier today.
She introduces me to the person I've never met "Alex, this is Bo, Bo this is Alex", brief pleasantries are exchanged between the 2 of us.
She turns to the other friend, then says "You know Mandy don't you?!" me and Mandy look at each other puzzled and start to take the piss, this is the Mandy that I've known for 15 odd years, socialised with her, her husband and family, been away to a 3 day festival with her, her husband and kids, went to a comedy night with her and her husband a few weeks ago and have done many other social things with her and her husband.
It is just plain weird.
She introduces me to the person I've never met "Alex, this is Bo, Bo this is Alex", brief pleasantries are exchanged between the 2 of us.
She turns to the other friend, then says "You know Mandy don't you?!" me and Mandy look at each other puzzled and start to take the piss, this is the Mandy that I've known for 15 odd years, socialised with her, her husband and family, been away to a 3 day festival with her, her husband and kids, went to a comedy night with her and her husband a few weeks ago and have done many other social things with her and her husband.
It is just plain weird.
Pit Pony said:
Fair. As the pot gets half empty add some more decafe. Then it's 25%.
Rinse and repeat. 12.5%
6%
3%
1.5%
Give it a good shake each time.
I went decafe after a heart attack in 2020.
Finding myself much less angry.
Since I had covid coffees tastes of metal, so I stopped drinking it. Down to 2 cups of tea a day as well, and I'm sleeping better!Rinse and repeat. 12.5%
6%
3%
1.5%
Give it a good shake each time.
I went decafe after a heart attack in 2020.
Finding myself much less angry.
HTP99 said:
My wife does this really annoying and stupid thing when introducing me to a friend of hers who I've never met, when there is also another friend of hers present who I know very well, it happened earlier today.
She introduces me to the person I've never met "Alex, this is Bo, Bo this is Alex", brief pleasantries are exchanged between the 2 of us.
She turns to the other friend, then says "You know Mandy don't you?!" me and Mandy look at each other puzzled and start to take the piss, this is the Mandy that I've known for 15 odd years, socialised with her, her husband and family, been away to a 3 day festival with her, her husband and kids, went to a comedy night with her and her husband a few weeks ago and have done many other social things with her and her husband.
It is just plain weird.
Mine is the same, I moved to this area 25 years ago, I've met a few of her friends and all of her family. She gets annoyed when she talks about people from her childhood as if I grew up here too. I have to keep reminding her I haven't got a clue who she is talking about! She introduces me to the person I've never met "Alex, this is Bo, Bo this is Alex", brief pleasantries are exchanged between the 2 of us.
She turns to the other friend, then says "You know Mandy don't you?!" me and Mandy look at each other puzzled and start to take the piss, this is the Mandy that I've known for 15 odd years, socialised with her, her husband and family, been away to a 3 day festival with her, her husband and kids, went to a comedy night with her and her husband a few weeks ago and have done many other social things with her and her husband.
It is just plain weird.
Leaving for the ferry this morning, and I say to her "damn, forgot to print the ticket"
"Don't worry about it, you have the email, right?"
"Yes. If I did need it, then I'll need to turn everything on".
We get to the terminal, 3 hours later, and the kiosk is on her side. I gave her our passports. She says "Is that it? No ticket?"
Grumble...
"Don't worry about it, you have the email, right?"
"Yes. If I did need it, then I'll need to turn everything on".
We get to the terminal, 3 hours later, and the kiosk is on her side. I gave her our passports. She says "Is that it? No ticket?"
Grumble...
tribbles said:
Leaving for the ferry this morning, and I say to her "damn, forgot to print the ticket"
"Don't worry about it, you have the email, right?"
"Yes. If I did need it, then I'll need to turn everything on".
We get to the terminal, 3 hours later, and the kiosk is on her side. I gave her our passports. She says "Is that it? No ticket?"
Grumble...
Rookie error not printing the ticket."Don't worry about it, you have the email, right?"
"Yes. If I did need it, then I'll need to turn everything on".
We get to the terminal, 3 hours later, and the kiosk is on her side. I gave her our passports. She says "Is that it? No ticket?"
Grumble...
Caddyshack said:
tribbles said:
Leaving for the ferry this morning, and I say to her "damn, forgot to print the ticket"
"Don't worry about it, you have the email, right?"
"Yes. If I did need it, then I'll need to turn everything on".
We get to the terminal, 3 hours later, and the kiosk is on her side. I gave her our passports. She says "Is that it? No ticket?"
Grumble...
Rookie error not printing the ticket."Don't worry about it, you have the email, right?"
"Yes. If I did need it, then I'll need to turn everything on".
We get to the terminal, 3 hours later, and the kiosk is on her side. I gave her our passports. She says "Is that it? No ticket?"
Grumble...
When I turn up at a port, the ANPR clocks my car and the person in the box says 'Good evening, Mr V8mate'.
Traveling on trains, getting into gigs,... everything really, just requires a flash of an emailed QR code or quoting an emailed reference.
Caddyshack said:
alock said:
Milkyway said:
“Are the pedals always in the same order”...
My daughter is about to start learning and asked me this question. My girlfriend helpfully said ABC - Accelerator, Brake, Clutch.( Must have been hell before standardisation)
Learning to drive... in NZ.
Q1: True or False
Edited by Milkyway on Friday 3rd June 20:19
V8mate said:
No tickets need printing any more, do they?
When I turn up at a port, the ANPR clocks my car and the person in the box says 'Good evening, Mr V8mate'.
Traveling on trains, getting into gigs,... everything really, just requires a flash of an emailed QR code or quoting an emailed reference.
No ticket was needed, as it happens. Just read out the booking number at the kiosk (from my email confirmation).When I turn up at a port, the ANPR clocks my car and the person in the box says 'Good evening, Mr V8mate'.
Traveling on trains, getting into gigs,... everything really, just requires a flash of an emailed QR code or quoting an emailed reference.
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