Anyone else's wife faff about un-necessarily?
Discussion
Rockets7 said:
Cotty said:
Just heard a new word shelaborate
Its when a woman gives a 30 minutes answer to a very simple question.
I thought this thread was the appropriate place to share
Oooh great they’re cutting back on timescales.Its when a woman gives a 30 minutes answer to a very simple question.
I thought this thread was the appropriate place to share
Long before Erin Dawes gets anywhere close to approaching the point of her lengthy dissertation, I have lost the will to carry on paying attention, my brain has glazed over, my processing faculties have been frazzled by the overload of completely irrelevant frippery and I just want to scream out:
"Get to the bloody point, Woman!!!"
I just wanted to know if she fancied a take-away, not listen to a sixteen-episode serialisation about what Mrs Jones told you that she had seen on Facebook two months ago about somebody's cat going missing, even though it had been microchipped by the vet who used to have that practise over on Great Moor but they moved to Wilmslow near to where Jane's daughter's boyfriend's mother had a haberdashery shop....... AAAAARGH!!!
Gotta luvvum. :sigh:
The Wookie said:
I like to practice a policy of Schrödinger’s Dishwasher, where the dishwasher is both empty and full until someone opens the door to put something in it
If left for a long enough period of time, the wave function collapse of things left on the counter above it will result in them quantum tunnelling into the dishwasher when no-one is observing
At least that’s what I thought until she had a go at me for always leaving dirty stuff on the counter
Whilst that can be annoying, that option generally isn't available if you tick the "insane hoarding tendencies" option. The latter means you load the dishwasher, then get asked "hey, have you chucked that half a teaspoonful of cold dinner? I was saving that!" and occasionally you find bioweapons and compost in your fridge.If left for a long enough period of time, the wave function collapse of things left on the counter above it will result in them quantum tunnelling into the dishwasher when no-one is observing
At least that’s what I thought until she had a go at me for always leaving dirty stuff on the counter
Alex@POD said:
I chuck cutlery in there at random, the only consideration is that I make sure spoons are not spooning before I turn the dishwasher on. I need about 15 seconds to empty the tray and put all the cutlery in the drawer.
Wtf are you guys doing that needs you to save time on this step?
I'm sure it would take me longer to put every item nearly in it's own part of the dishwasher tray than the 10 seconds or so I'd save over emptying a randomly filled one Wtf are you guys doing that needs you to save time on this step?
donkmeister said:
The Wookie said:
I like to practice a policy of Schrödinger’s Dishwasher, where the dishwasher is both empty and full until someone opens the door to put something in it
If left for a long enough period of time, the wave function collapse of things left on the counter above it will result in them quantum tunnelling into the dishwasher when no-one is observing
At least that’s what I thought until she had a go at me for always leaving dirty stuff on the counter
Whilst that can be annoying, that option generally isn't available if you tick the "insane hoarding tendencies" option. The latter means you load the dishwasher, then get asked "hey, have you chucked that half a teaspoonful of cold dinner? I was saving that!" and occasionally you find bioweapons and compost in your fridge.If left for a long enough period of time, the wave function collapse of things left on the counter above it will result in them quantum tunnelling into the dishwasher when no-one is observing
At least that’s what I thought until she had a go at me for always leaving dirty stuff on the counter
By the next day she will be talkng (or perhaps just grunting) to me...
Oh yes... So many traditional sauces have an element of fermentation in their production, I wonder if there's an attempt to enhance the sauces through an additional round of microbial action.
Currently waiting for Mrs D to take Mini D out so I can crack on with some DIY... 30 minutes after the time they were meant to be leaving I mentioned it. That was an hour ago.
Can't do it with the ever-curious Mini D here, not safe for her and I'll end up injuring myself if I try (from moving awkwardly to stop her grabbing something she shouldn't most likely). Because Mrs D will be "multitasking" instead of concentrating on the job at hand.
Currently waiting for Mrs D to take Mini D out so I can crack on with some DIY... 30 minutes after the time they were meant to be leaving I mentioned it. That was an hour ago.
Can't do it with the ever-curious Mini D here, not safe for her and I'll end up injuring myself if I try (from moving awkwardly to stop her grabbing something she shouldn't most likely). Because Mrs D will be "multitasking" instead of concentrating on the job at hand.
Whenever I drop the wife off somewhere in the car, it's not until I have come to a complete stop the she then 'begins' to get ready to get out of the car....
Grabbing her handbag from the floor, checking for something, can't find it, rummaging about a bit more, then reaching to the back seat for her coat, checking the pockets for something, then unfastening her seatbelt, checking the vanity mirror, then telling me something irrelevant, finally getting out of the car but before slamming the door she mentions something else, then closing the door but somehow not closing it properly, then opening it and slamming it shut..... all whilst there are cars behind waiting for me to move off!!!!!
Why can't they start getting ready to exit the car a few minutes earlier, as I do?
Grabbing her handbag from the floor, checking for something, can't find it, rummaging about a bit more, then reaching to the back seat for her coat, checking the pockets for something, then unfastening her seatbelt, checking the vanity mirror, then telling me something irrelevant, finally getting out of the car but before slamming the door she mentions something else, then closing the door but somehow not closing it properly, then opening it and slamming it shut..... all whilst there are cars behind waiting for me to move off!!!!!
Why can't they start getting ready to exit the car a few minutes earlier, as I do?
The Gauge said:
Whenever I drop the wife off somewhere in the car, it's not until I have come to a complete stop the she then 'begins' to get ready to get out of the car....
Grabbing her handbag from the floor, checking for something, can't find it, rummaging about a bit more, then reaching to the back seat for her coat, checking the pockets for something, then unfastening her seatbelt, checking the vanity mirror, then telling me something irrelevant, finally getting out of the car but before slamming the door she mentions something else, then closing the door but somehow not closing it properly, then opening it and slamming it shut..... all whilst there are cars behind waiting for me to move off!!!!!
Why can't they start getting ready to exit the car a few minutes earlier, as I do?
Same, my co-driver sits in silence until I stop uncomfortably at the side of the road to let her out - it's then, without fail she starts up a conversation.Grabbing her handbag from the floor, checking for something, can't find it, rummaging about a bit more, then reaching to the back seat for her coat, checking the pockets for something, then unfastening her seatbelt, checking the vanity mirror, then telling me something irrelevant, finally getting out of the car but before slamming the door she mentions something else, then closing the door but somehow not closing it properly, then opening it and slamming it shut..... all whilst there are cars behind waiting for me to move off!!!!!
Why can't they start getting ready to exit the car a few minutes earlier, as I do?
Very predicable.
RGG said:
The Gauge said:
Whenever I drop the wife off somewhere in the car, it's not until I have come to a complete stop the she then 'begins' to get ready to get out of the car....
Grabbing her handbag from the floor, checking for something, can't find it, rummaging about a bit more, then reaching to the back seat for her coat, checking the pockets for something, then unfastening her seatbelt, checking the vanity mirror, then telling me something irrelevant, finally getting out of the car but before slamming the door she mentions something else, then closing the door but somehow not closing it properly, then opening it and slamming it shut..... all whilst there are cars behind waiting for me to move off!!!!!
Why can't they start getting ready to exit the car a few minutes earlier, as I do?
Same, my co-driver sits in silence until I stop uncomfortably at the side of the road to let her out - it's then, without fail she starts up a conversation.Grabbing her handbag from the floor, checking for something, can't find it, rummaging about a bit more, then reaching to the back seat for her coat, checking the pockets for something, then unfastening her seatbelt, checking the vanity mirror, then telling me something irrelevant, finally getting out of the car but before slamming the door she mentions something else, then closing the door but somehow not closing it properly, then opening it and slamming it shut..... all whilst there are cars behind waiting for me to move off!!!!!
Why can't they start getting ready to exit the car a few minutes earlier, as I do?
Very predicable.
glenrobbo said:
Rockets7 said:
Cotty said:
Just heard a new word shelaborate
Its when a woman gives a 30 minutes answer to a very simple question.
I thought this thread was the appropriate place to share
Oooh great they’re cutting back on timescales.Its when a woman gives a 30 minutes answer to a very simple question.
I thought this thread was the appropriate place to share
Long before Erin Dawes gets anywhere close to approaching the point of her lengthy dissertation, I have lost the will to carry on paying attention, my brain has glazed over, my processing faculties have been frazzled by the overload of completely irrelevant frippery and I just want to scream out:
"Get to the bloody point, Woman!!!"
I just wanted to know if she fancied a take-away, not listen to a sixteen-episode serialisation about what Mrs Jones told you that she had seen on Facebook two months ago about somebody's cat going missing, even though it had been microchipped by the vet who used to have that practise over on Great Moor but they moved to Wilmslow near to where Jane's daughter's boyfriend's mother had a haberdashery shop....... AAAAARGH!!!
Gotta luvvum. :sigh:
I can full relate to the examples in 'The Sexist Book of Records' by Viz. This one is particularly apt:
Film Confusion.
The greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husband without asking a stupid plot related question was achieved on the 28th October 1990 when Mrs Ethel Brunswick (GB) sat down with her husband to watch 'The Ipcress File'. She watched in silence for a breathtaking 2 mins 40 secs before asking "is he a goody or a baddy, then, him in the glasses?", revealing a staggering level of ignorance. This broke her own previous record set in 1962 when she sat through 2 mins 38 secs of '633 Squadron' before asking "Is this a war film, is it?"
The Gauge said:
Whenever I drop the wife off somewhere in the car, it's not until I have come to a complete stop the she then 'begins' to get ready to get out of the car....
Grabbing her handbag from the floor, checking for something, can't find it, rummaging about a bit more, then reaching to the back seat for her coat, checking the pockets for something, then unfastening her seatbelt, checking the vanity mirror, then telling me something irrelevant, finally getting out of the car but before slamming the door she mentions something else, then closing the door but somehow not closing it properly, then opening it and slamming it shut..... all whilst there are cars behind waiting for me to move off!!!!!
Why can't they start getting ready to exit the car a few minutes earlier, as I do?
Same when they get to a locked door, usually in the pouring rain. Going through a cavernous handbag looking for keys.Grabbing her handbag from the floor, checking for something, can't find it, rummaging about a bit more, then reaching to the back seat for her coat, checking the pockets for something, then unfastening her seatbelt, checking the vanity mirror, then telling me something irrelevant, finally getting out of the car but before slamming the door she mentions something else, then closing the door but somehow not closing it properly, then opening it and slamming it shut..... all whilst there are cars behind waiting for me to move off!!!!!
Why can't they start getting ready to exit the car a few minutes earlier, as I do?
Armitage.Shanks said:
I can fully relate to that. The blow by blow account of something insiginificant or the latest outcome of Judge Judy, The Coroner or Border Control is introduced mid way through an engaging drama/documentary that I'm watching on TV and needs my full concentration to understand what's going on.
I can full relate to the examples in 'The Sexist Book of Records' by Viz. This one is particularly apt:
Film Confusion.
The greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husband without asking a stupid plot related question was achieved on the 28th October 1990 when Mrs Ethel Brunswick (GB) sat down with her husband to watch 'The Ipcress File'. She watched in silence for a breathtaking 2 mins 40 secs before asking "is he a goody or a baddy, then, him in the glasses?", revealing a staggering level of ignorance. This broke her own previous record set in 1962 when she sat through 2 mins 38 secs of '633 Squadron' before asking "Is this a war film, is it?"
Mrs Handpaper managed over an hour of "Spinal Tap" before diffidently asking, "is this real?"I can full relate to the examples in 'The Sexist Book of Records' by Viz. This one is particularly apt:
Film Confusion.
The greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husband without asking a stupid plot related question was achieved on the 28th October 1990 when Mrs Ethel Brunswick (GB) sat down with her husband to watch 'The Ipcress File'. She watched in silence for a breathtaking 2 mins 40 secs before asking "is he a goody or a baddy, then, him in the glasses?", revealing a staggering level of ignorance. This broke her own previous record set in 1962 when she sat through 2 mins 38 secs of '633 Squadron' before asking "Is this a war film, is it?"
dave123456 said:
Same when they get to a locked door, usually in the pouring rain. Going through a cavernous handbag looking for keys.
Which have 15 key rings and 8 keys, 3 of which are for doors we no longer own and 2 and total mystery. The remaining 3 are identical in every way except for the actual pattern.I can get my keys out of my pocket and find the right key without even looking.
Bullett said:
dave123456 said:
Same when they get to a locked door, usually in the pouring rain. Going through a cavernous handbag looking for keys.
Which have 15 key rings and 8 keys, 3 of which are for doors we no longer own and 2 and total mystery. The remaining 3 are identical in every way except for the actual pattern.I can get my keys out of my pocket and find the right key without even looking.
The Wookie said:
I like to practice a policy of Schrödinger’s Dishwasher, where the dishwasher is both empty and full until someone opens the door to put something in it
If left for a long enough period of time, the wave function collapse of things left on the counter above it will result in them quantum tunnelling into the dishwasher when no-one is observing
At least that’s what I thought until she had a go at me for always leaving dirty stuff on the counter
The collapsed wave form of a Schrodingers Dishwasher is Dishwasher Roulette. She/he who opens it and finds the cat is dead/DW is clean, has to empty it. Them's the rules. If left for a long enough period of time, the wave function collapse of things left on the counter above it will result in them quantum tunnelling into the dishwasher when no-one is observing
At least that’s what I thought until she had a go at me for always leaving dirty stuff on the counter
She has bought some jewellery paint for herself, keeps her happy and she is having fun, well now she has started doing some of the household fixtures, whilst doing a bit of a door handle, holding the door open away from me and explaining and showing me what she has done is met with "I can't see that from here", means just keep pointing at it, to my protests of, "you're on the other side of the door" was met to no avail, repeated pointing out of this turned into a flap about how she was trying to explain it, I still couldn't see what she had done, I understood, then just thought, "Why not take the door handle off and clean the white paint off that somebody hasn't cut in correctly, because they didn't think the door handle off to paint the door"
Guess I am painting doors soon
Guess I am painting doors soon
LarryUSA said:
Keys? What are those? Schlage lock for the front door (code) and internal garage door (fingerprint), automatic remote garage door, Tesla with remote open/lock means Mrs L never needs to carry a key :-)
When one of those links in the "enter house" process goes down, I can guarantee it will happen when you are in another country, in the middle of an important meeting, and she is bursting for the loo. donkmeister said:
When one of those links in the "enter house" process goes down, I can guarantee it will happen when you are in another country, in the middle of an important meeting, and she is bursting for the loo.
Our front and back door keys look the same, so I bought one of those little rubber things you stick over the end of a key so you know which is which. I happened to put a turtle one on the front door key.We came home once in a taxi, and she was dying for a s
te, so I gave her my keys whilst I paid the taxi. "Which one is it?" she asked. "It's the one with the turtle's head". I found that very funny, but she didn't !We were out late last night, and got home at about quarter to one, six hours before my alarm goes off.
I went straight upstairs, and was in bed within about 10 minutes of entering the house. As I came out of the bathroom my wife was coming down the stairs with a basket of laundry. When she eventually came to bed, about 15 minutes after me, she realised she didn't have her phone and had to get up to find it. It was in the lounge. So she'd managed to go in at least 3 rooms that were completely unconnected with getting in the house and going to bed.
I went straight upstairs, and was in bed within about 10 minutes of entering the house. As I came out of the bathroom my wife was coming down the stairs with a basket of laundry. When she eventually came to bed, about 15 minutes after me, she realised she didn't have her phone and had to get up to find it. It was in the lounge. So she'd managed to go in at least 3 rooms that were completely unconnected with getting in the house and going to bed.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff