Any other expectant Dads?

Any other expectant Dads?

Author
Discussion

Shakermaker

Original Poster:

8,035 posts

38 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
My wife and I are expecting our very first baby, due in January. One scan down, all looking good, wife showing a bit of a bump, all the sickness signs and lack of appetite/change in appetite.

This is exciting times for us both, of course. Now, I am sure, the real fun begins. Or ends, depending on your viewpoint. If this was NP&E you could all shame me for creating another tax burden that you're paying for, but this is the Lounge where we can chill with a beer instead of pedantically ranting about nothing at all.

Are any fellow members in this same exciting/terrifying position?

Any advice will be graciously received, even if it doesn't get used.

So far, this is the most useful thread going... wink

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

DRFC1879

793 posts

95 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
I'm not in your boat but with my lad coming up towards his seventh birthday I'd like to offer my congratulations and best wishes for a smooth pregnancy & birth and a healthy baby. Be sure to take note from the kids with stupid names threads to ensure you don't have to hand in your membership!

If you think you're not a morning person and need loads of sleep you'll soon learn the difference between "need" and "would quite like". Also, do loads of stuff with the lads now. LOADS of it. Your social life will gradually return but boozy nights chucking arrows down the pub will be off the agenda soon.

ETA: Your life will change immeasurably but all for the better and for every time you could quite happily chuck your little bundle of joy through the window over the next few years, there will be a hundred times that you find yourself smiling at the tiniest things. There's no love in the world like you'll feel the moment you clap eyes on your baby.

Edited by DRFC1879 on Tuesday 4th July 15:50

ciege

409 posts

37 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
5 and 7 year old here...

1. Listen and try most things - some work, some don't - do what works for you.

2. Put them to bed, make them stay in bed, never, ever change this - never had going to bed issues!

3. Infrocol for colic

4. ISOFIX car seats are handy as you lift them in and out without waking them up

5. If possible try not to have dummies, we didn't for first one - great, then cracked!

6. Seriously routine bath and bed every night!

7. Don't let ANYONE tell you giving a bottle will cause nipple confusion, load of old rubbish ours took both never any problems.

8. Look after mum!!

9. Look after mum - lots of people will be telling her lots of things, it's her child she can do it her way...!

10. Get yourself on ebay and start buying toys as you now have an excuse!!!!!! My daughter loves Lego more than my son smile

DRFC1879

793 posts

95 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Oh and one more thing; the single best piece of advice I ever got:

Routine, routine, routine.

Routine.

Routine.

It'll be a pain in the arse missing things that you might do at certain times on certain days to start with but it'll save you so much aggro in the long run.

ciege

409 posts

37 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
DRFC1879 said:
Oh and one more thing; the single best piece of advice I ever got:

Routine, routine, routine.

Routine.

Routine.

It'll be a pain in the arse missing things that you might do at certain times on certain days to start with but it'll save you so much aggro in the long run.
There you go smile...

COMPLETELY AGREE!!!!!
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unseen

94 posts

99 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
ciege said:
5 and 7 year old here...

1. Listen and try most things - some work, some don't - do what works for you.

2. Put them to bed, make them stay in bed, never, ever change this - never had going to bed issues!

3. Infrocol for colic

4. ISOFIX car seats are handy as you lift them in and out without waking them up

5. If possible try not to have dummies, we didn't for first one - great, then cracked!

6. Seriously routine bath and bed every night!

7. Don't let ANYONE tell you giving a bottle will cause nipple confusion, load of old rubbish ours took both never any problems.

8. Look after mum!!

9. Look after mum - lots of people will be telling her lots of things, it's her child she can do it her way...!

10. Get yourself on ebay and start buying toys as you now have an excuse!!!!!! My daughter loves Lego more than my son smile
wise words -especially number 9

First 3 months are exciting / torture from lack of sleep - it will get better!



Peanut Gallery

1,252 posts

48 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
My first is due to arrive a week today, although we both think an early arrival is expected. Oh, and we are moving house hopefully next month or so.

Admittedly being Jan 2018 you will not fit into this thread, but I am sure the thread police will not worry!

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Shakermaker

Original Poster:

8,035 posts

38 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Some good advice so far - thank you gents.


jdw100

2,663 posts

102 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Got one due in November.

Our first.

Don't panic!!!

DRFC1879

793 posts

95 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Another thing before I forget:

I'm sure most new mothers want to breast feed their baby and my wife was no different but she had problems doing so and both her and our son ended up back in hospital after two days, hungry and exhausted.

I've no doubt that breast feeding is generally the best option but the way it's presented is militaristic and Mrs. 1879 felt like a complete failure, worried about our son's health and development and generally a terrible mother when the boy had to go onto a bottle.

They will spout all sorts of statistics at you and the missus but my lad has turned out absolutely fine. Incidentally, my brother and I were bottle-fed from birth too. He is a professor of chemistry with a doctorate from Oxford.

I flog groceries to supermarkets though so there might be something in it...

C0ffin D0dger

2,799 posts

83 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
My condolences.......












......just kidding, two kids myself 4 & 6 so over the worst although the youngest decided to pay us a visit last night at 2am for whatever reason. You currently think you might know what being tired is, it will take on a whole new meaning once the little un arrives. My main advice is not to get carried away buying every baby item under the sun that you think you might need. Early days they need very little and once you've got them you can then decide what you think might be helpful and what isn't. Travel system (car seat / buggy) and somewhere for baby to sleep (typically next to Mum though you might get luck with a Moses basket or cot) is all you really need at the outset aside from the consumables (nappies/clothes/muslins/etc.). As and when they're ready to start eating solids don't waste your money on a fancy high chair, the Ikea ones are ace and very easy to keep clean due to the simple design.

austinsmirk

3,260 posts

61 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
don't panic.
don't go mad buying stuff. eg clothes. they grow at such a rate, outfits can be useless in a few weeks
other parents will give you bags of second hand stuff, which is great.
don't get a pram with tiny wheels- you want something like a phil and teds with 3 pneumatic tyres on. otherwise you can't push the thing anywhere but around perfect surfaces. buy one secondhand if you can.

when pram shopping you'll realise you can buy a car cheaper !

calpol and an infra red thermometer is such a great help, good to have put aside

as said, routine is what its all about.

good luck, hope it all goes well.

Toyoda

1,045 posts

38 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
At this point you're very much in the 'feathering the nest' stage. Think of the practicalities, what will you need to buy for the baby's bedroom? Wardrobes, drawers, rocking chair, changing table, cot, moses basket etc, as well as the buggy aka 'travel system' and car seat. Everyone you come into contact with who has ever had kids will feel the need to tell you what to buy but it's up to you to do what you think's best. Nobody has all the right answers! If your mrs is the type who feels the need to over prepare, then avoid visiting shops like Mamas and Papas where cheap flat pack furniture is sold with a ridiculous mark up cos it's for babies, innit. As it stands, you're prime candidates for a good milking by so many companies who want your hard earned, a bit like when you're planning a wedding.

One thing we did find useful was ante-natal classes. Not the free couple of hour session you get on the NHS which all kinds of expectant parents go to. I'm talking about paid-for classes - ours was with the NCT although alternatives are available. They're basically workshops for groups of about 6 couples, all with babies due around the same month. Think there was about 6 workshops in total as part of the package. You learn in more detail about how to prepare for the birth, the birth itself and a little about the early days. I wanted to run a mile at the start, as it's very 'new age', almost hippy-ish however it's a good laugh as everyone's in the same boat, with the same apprehensions about the birth, so suddenly sitting in a room listening to whale music whilst your mrs practices breathing techniques isn't so bad. However the main benefit of it is that you get to meet people in the same stage of pregnancy as your mrs, all from the same local area, so it creates an instant 'support network' for the ladies. Our lot set up a WhatsApp group and chatted with each other along the way and all keep in touch after the birth and still meet up. Never underestimate the sense of loneliness your mrs will face once you go back to work after the birth. Even with family nearby, it's important she has friends she can call on and what better than several other girls, all on maternity leave and who they can arrange to meet up with and attend baby yoga/singing/swimming/gym or whatever is the fad at the time.


Wallace12R

54 posts

128 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Firstly congratulayions, it's an amazing feeling isn't it.

Our kids are 24,21,17( past away in 2012) ,12,5,6 here, I think most things have been covered. There is one point I feel I must stress, and this I think is the single most important and although it'll make your life a right pain at first, you'll be grateful in the long run.

ROUTINE

Establish one, and stick to it. It'll make feeding times, bathing, and sleeping an absolute dream.

Another thing, stay away from Mamas and Papas for clothes. It's far far too easy to get carried away in there, and you'll find yourself spending inordinate amounts of money on clothes when your other half starts making cooing noises and saying things like " oh he/she/it will look sooooo cute in this"

Don't panic/worry too much and just enjoy the feeling of impending doom, that will soon change when you clap eyes on the little one and you'll find that you instantly love something more than you ever thought possible.

DRFC1879

793 posts

95 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Glad that the ante-natal classes worked for you, Toyoda but as you say each to their own so if they're not for you & the missus, OP, don't worry about it.

We went to one (ok one of the free ones) and hated it. Some right drips in there!

Now may be a good time to start looking on the local selling sites for a jumperoo. Those things are a god-send when babies get mobile and you need five minutes to make a butty/iron a shirt/have a dump.

Joe5y

1,005 posts

121 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Had the '12 week' scan today.

Due Jan 7th. First baby. Slightly scared, nervous, happy, delighted and everything in between.

AdamFD

1 posts

22 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Congratulations I have my first due in January also! Exciting times. All the comments are very helpful! I worry about the first few months/year the most, new born babies seem so fragile! Good luck with everything!

Shakermaker

Original Poster:

8,035 posts

38 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Toyoda said:
At this point you're very much in the 'feathering the nest' stage. Think of the practicalities, what will you need to buy for the baby's bedroom? Wardrobes, drawers, rocking chair, changing table, cot, moses basket etc, as well as the buggy aka 'travel system' and car seat. Everyone you come into contact with who has ever had kids will feel the need to tell you what to buy but it's up to you to do what you think's best. Nobody has all the right answers! If your mrs is the type who feels the need to over prepare, then avoid visiting shops like Mamas and Papas where cheap flat pack furniture is sold with a ridiculous mark up cos it's for babies, innit. As it stands, you're prime candidates for a good milking by so many companies who want your hard earned, a bit like when you're planning a wedding.

One thing we did find useful was ante-natal classes. Not the free couple of hour session you get on the NHS which all kinds of expectant parents go to. I'm talking about paid-for classes - ours was with the NCT although alternatives are available. They're basically workshops for groups of about 6 couples, all with babies due around the same month. Think there was about 6 workshops in total as part of the package. You learn in more detail about how to prepare for the birth, the birth itself and a little about the early days. I wanted to run a mile at the start, as it's very 'new age', almost hippy-ish however it's a good laugh as everyone's in the same boat, with the same apprehensions about the birth, so suddenly sitting in a room listening to whale music whilst your mrs practices breathing techniques isn't so bad. However the main benefit of it is that you get to meet people in the same stage of pregnancy as your mrs, all from the same local area, so it creates an instant 'support network' for the ladies. Our lot set up a WhatsApp group and chatted with each other along the way and all keep in touch after the birth and still meet up. Never underestimate the sense of loneliness your mrs will face once you go back to work after the birth. Even with family nearby, it's important she has friends she can call on and what better than several other girls, all on maternity leave and who they can arrange to meet up with and attend baby yoga/singing/swimming/gym or whatever is the fad at the time.
You've hit directly with the current 3 responsibilities I have been given by my wife:

1. NCT group - where, when etc. We are due in January so expecting classes to be Oct/Nov time
2. Car seat "System" - which one is best, what to do etc. I am aware that the most important factor, really, is having the child securely strapped in. The rest is then the aesthetics and the practicality of the unit, but something which clips in and out of the car in a simple motion is going to be the best bet I reckon.
3. Redecorating the spare room and finding the appropriate furniture for it. Well aware that many, many places have enormous mark ups on it. IKEA however, seems to actually prove remarkably practical and I am quite happy with those little Allen keys and a bit of music to listen to. Just have to endure going to IKEA but I can cope, just...

Jonmx

1,748 posts

151 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Ours was due yesterday, the lazy little sod doesn't want to come out, so I suspect he'll turn up next week sometime. OH had to have a sweep and stretch or something like that today, apparently it wasn't fun. Me referring to it as a scratch and sniff is not helping. Still, everything is in place and we appear to have more baby grows than I have hairs on my head along with mountains of other stuff we've been given. I'm sure it will be a challenging but ultimately very rewarding time.

Rebew

97 posts

30 months

Tuesday 4th July 2017
quotequote all
Congratulations!! My partner is due with our first one on 2nd November!

So far we have noticed that everyone has some advice to give you, even those who haven't got kids, and no one seems to have any concept of personal space around pregnant women, the amount my partner has been grabbed at by friends, family and strangers in the street is unbelievable!

We got our pram from Mamas & Papas' preloved range, its second hand but has been fully reconditioned by them and looks brand new! It cost half the price of a new one and meant that we had a bit more money to spend on a decent car seat and isofix set (Joie i-Gemm)