Things that annoy you beyond reason...(Vol 5)

Things that annoy you beyond reason...(Vol 5)

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Europa1

9,399 posts

138 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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This morning, for me, it's people who use the traps at work to take a leak and don't lift the seat, expecting someone else to clean off their urine from the seat.

Utter peasants. mad

captain_cynic

5,373 posts

45 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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Shakermaker said:
Do not, under any circumstance, follow me around a branch of HMV.

Regardless of meals eaten, prior visits to the bathroom or anything else, I cannot help but let rip with some of the worst farts you can encounter whilst I casually flick through the racks of CDs and DVDs hunting for any bargain.

I think it is a defensive mechanism against the rancid body odour of the type of person that works in HMV..
Call me council, but that's the fun of going to shops where you'd never normally buy anything. Dropping some room clearing gas and casually sauntering out. I especially enjoy arty/hipster shops where they have some kind of incense going and overpowering that with delicate aroma of last nights curry.

Shakermaker

10,528 posts

50 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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captain_cynic said:
Call me council, but that's the fun of going to shops where you'd never normally buy anything. Dropping some room clearing gas and casually sauntering out. I especially enjoy arty/hipster shops where they have some kind of incense going and overpowering that with delicate aroma of last nights curry.
I dropped one in the baby section of Smiths Toy Superstore last week, when I thought I was the only customer in the area. Reaching down to pick up a travel high chair, and out it came.

And then, about 9 seconds later, I see a young woman walk into the aisle. There is no way she will have mistaken the smell for any accident arising from my daughter's nappy... so I know she probably silently cursed me for leaving her with that.

davhill

4,122 posts

134 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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Aha, the truth will out! The fart squad has been scrambled... "Bandits on PH, Tally Ho chaps!"

MartG

15,452 posts

154 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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People who are unable to answer a simple question without trying to belittle both the questioner and everyone else who has offered an answer frown

OK, we get it, you may have some inside knowledge, but that's no excuse for being a dhead when you choose to divulge information to us mere mortals

matchmaker

6,823 posts

150 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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davhill said:
Aha, the truth will out! The fart squad has been scrambled... "Bandits on PH, Tally Ho chaps!"
I am an appalling farter. Just can't help it. frown

My nickname at home is "Farty Trumpington".

Balmoral

32,160 posts

198 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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Well, it looks like there's an enormous market for the butt plug whistle after all.

NoVetec

9,848 posts

123 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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I'm going to invent one that makes a really loud velociraptor noise.

fatboy18

17,087 posts

161 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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MPs ALL should be totally accountable for outright lies, B Johnson a prime example. These people are elected by people to represent them. They should be accountable in the law courts in my book.
it might make them think twice before they come out with outright lies.

V8mate

43,262 posts

139 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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fatboy18 said:
MPs ALL should be totally accountable for outright lies, B Johnson a prime example. These people are elected by people to represent them. They should be accountable in the law courts in my book.
it might make them think twice before they come out with outright lies.
Let's start with something simpler. Weather forecasters.

If their forecast for the following day turns out not to be correct, they have to appear the following evening, prior to the next forecast, apologise, cry a little, and then run themselves through with a sword.

Short Grain

1,157 posts

170 months

Friday 18th January 2019
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Shakermaker said:
captain_cynic said:
Call me council, but that's the fun of going to shops where you'd never normally buy anything. Dropping some room clearing gas and casually sauntering out. I especially enjoy arty/hipster shops where they have some kind of incense going and overpowering that with delicate aroma of last nights curry.
I dropped one in the baby section of Smiths Toy Superstore last week, when I thought I was the only customer in the area. Reaching down to pick up a travel high chair, and out it came.

And then, about 9 seconds later, I see a young woman walk into the aisle. There is no way she will have mistaken the smell for any accident arising from my daughter's nappy... so I know she probably silently cursed me for leaving her with that.
I have been known to clear a room after eating Alpen Muesli! Any own brand muesli doesn't have the same effect strangely, must be some secret ingredient but I can make myself gag! Sad thing is, I love Alpen!! So Sorry to anyone who has suffered after I've had breakfast!

davhill

4,122 posts

134 months

Saturday 19th January 2019
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NoVetec said:
I'm going to invent one that makes a really loud velociraptor noise.
laugh

What about this sound to clear a room?


Johnspex

2,063 posts

134 months

Saturday 19th January 2019
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davhill said:
Aha, the truth will out! The fart squad has been scrambled... "Bandits on PH, Tally Ho chaps!"
I bet all of those telling fart stories can't wait to get back to school on Monday to tell all the other 13 year olds about going on a website for grown-ups and writing pathetic stories about their smelly farts. How funny that will be at break time.

g3org3y

14,515 posts

141 months

Saturday 19th January 2019
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When it's the weekend and your brain wakes you up at 5am for no particular reason and you can't get back to sleep. irked

glenrobbo

17,888 posts

100 months

Saturday 19th January 2019
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g3org3y said:
When it's the weekend and your brain wakes you up at 5am for no particular reason and you can't get back to sleep. irked
I leave mine in a jar of salt water on the beside table.
Saves all that disturbance.

My bladder still wakes me at stupid o'clock though. irked

I wouldn't want to be woken up by a really loud velociraptor noise. nono
I'd probably st myself! frown

Edited by glenrobbo on Saturday 19th January 07:49

MartG

15,452 posts

154 months

Saturday 19th January 2019
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glenrobbo said:
I wouldn't want to be woken up by a really loud velociraptor noise. nono
I'd probably st myself! frown
Ah - a drowning velociraptor noise then smile

thetoxicnerve

22,363 posts

127 months

Saturday 19th January 2019
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"Thank you so much."

rageirked

fk off you .

talksthetorque

7,045 posts

85 months

Saturday 19th January 2019
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People going slowly everywhere today.
40 in a 60, 22 in a clear 30 with no side roads, then crawling through the car park with loads of spaces. Getting out and ambling through town like they are in a fking garden centre.
Blocking the doorway as you can't wait any longer to spark up.
A woman creeps towards the escalator, with oncoming pedestrians, can't overtake - then puts her shopping trolley next to her on the same step, so nobody can walk up.
People stopping in the street right in front of you and holding a covnversation five wide on the pavement.

tts everywhere.
tts as far as the eye can see.



fatboy18

17,087 posts

161 months

Saturday 19th January 2019
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talksthetorque said:
People going slowly everywhere today.
40 in a 60, 22 in a clear 30 with no side roads, then crawling through the car park with loads of spaces. Getting out and ambling through town like they are in a fking garden centre.
Blocking the doorway as you can't wait any longer to spark up.
A woman creeps towards the escalator, with oncoming pedestrians, can't overtake - then puts her shopping trolley next to her on the same step, so nobody can walk up.
People stopping in the street right in front of you and holding a covnversation five wide on the pavement.

tts everywhere.
tts as far as the eye can see.
I've noticed this speed reduction thing more and more over the last year.
Thought the Idea of motorised transport was to get from point A to point B as quickly and legally (I threw that bit in) possible? whistle

nonsequitur

11,334 posts

66 months

Saturday 19th January 2019
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talksthetorque said:
People going slowly everywhere today.
40 in a 60, 22 in a clear 30 with no side roads, then crawling through the car park with loads of spaces. Getting out and ambling through town like they are in a fking garden centre.
Blocking the doorway as you can't wait any longer to spark up.
A woman creeps towards the escalator, with oncoming pedestrians, can't overtake - then puts her shopping trolley next to her on the same step, so nobody can walk up.
People stopping in the street right in front of you and holding a covnversation five wide on the pavement.

tts everywhere.
tts as far as the eye can see.
Not quite sure about the sparking up, but the rest can be attributed to ' That's Life '. Some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the statue.

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