Experience with extra marital affairs!

Experience with extra marital affairs!

Author
Discussion

C4ME

205 posts

149 months

Saturday 12th January
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The OP has deliberately tried very hard to disguise whether it is male or female which makes me think it is not genuine. It's a very emotional subject to be doing something so odd.

Sa Calobra

27,803 posts

149 months

Saturday 12th January
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C4ME said:
The OP has deliberately tried very hard to disguise whether it is male or female which makes me think it is not genuine. It's a very emotional subject to be doing something so odd.
Probably because if it all goes south it's on the internet forever and a detailed description of a situation can be spotted.

C4ME

205 posts

149 months

Saturday 12th January
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Sa Calobra said:
Probably because if it all goes south it's on the internet forever and a detailed description of a situation can be spotted.
True but deliberately excluding he or she from the text doesn't make it any less identifiable. There are lots of nuggets in there such as 'travels globally' etc which are more indicative of the people involved to anyone closer to the situation.

red_slr

7,850 posts

127 months

Saturday 12th January
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Pics.... anyone asked for pics?

Buzz84

669 posts

87 months

Saturday 12th January
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98elise said:
I would say it's a purposely written to avoid any indication of the sex of any of the people involved. Odd subject for a first post on a car forum.

My Spidey senses are tingling!
It's not that unusual for an established member to create an anonymous second account to discuss sensitive issues, especially if the primary account is well known and has met several members at meets etc
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LittleBigPlanet

724 posts

79 months

Saturday 12th January
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stuartmmcfc said:
Writhing said:
Is the partner male or female ? Its not clear in the original message. Not that it makes much difference. Leopards don’t change their spots. The partner may feel remorse right now but it is probably because they got caught rather than any sorrow for you.
This is my puzzle aswell. I think the op is female and cheater is male, which if correct, makes all the “all women are snakes with tits” posts a bit premature.
Agreed. Everyone has assumed that the OP is male with a cheating wife. It actually read to me like the OP is female.

In any case, I'd find it extremely difficult to continue in such a situation, more so knowing that you really don't know the half of it due to the constant lies (despite being 'found out'). Tackle this head on and give your partner a chance to come clean on everything - if it becomes apparent later on that he/she has not be totally honest then you've made the deal clear - walk.

Note, I say this not knowing your or your family situation. It's always far easier to say than do. I'd probably be a crying mess so you've already done better than I by writing this down.

Good luck.

Jasandjules

61,964 posts

167 months

Saturday 12th January
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The only question really is what do you want to do about it?

It seems like the trust has gone and can not come back and this was not an "open" marriage etc therefore do you wish to stay with such a person? If not.... If yes, then you can try counselling and whatever else may help.

red_slr

7,850 posts

127 months

Saturday 12th January
quotequote all
Jasandjules said:
The only question really is what do you want to do about it?

It seems like the trust has gone and can not come back and this was not an "open" marriage etc therefore do you wish to stay with such a person? If not.... If yes, then you can try counselling and whatever else may help.
That's it basically. I am far from an expert but I think the main options are a) continue as is and accept a mistress (highly unlikely I would have thought) b) he accepts his mistake and you re-build or c) you both go your own ways. As there are kids in the mix I suspect any of the 3 options are going to be easy.

Sa Calobra

27,803 posts

149 months

Saturday 12th January
quotequote all
LittleBigPlanet said:
stuartmmcfc said:
Writhing said:
Is the partner male or female ? Its not clear in the original message. Not that it makes much difference. Leopards don’t change their spots. The partner may feel remorse right now but it is probably because they got caught rather than any sorrow for you.
This is my puzzle aswell. I think the op is female and cheater is male, which if correct, makes all the “all women are snakes with tits” posts a bit premature.
Agreed. Everyone has assumed that the OP is male with a cheating wife. It actually read to me like the OP is female.

In any case, I'd find it extremely difficult to continue in such a situation, more so knowing that you really don't know the half of it due to the constant lies (despite being 'found out'). Tackle this head on and give your partner a chance to come clean on everything - if it becomes apparent later on that he/she has not be totally honest then you've made the deal clear - walk.

Note, I say this not knowing your or your family situation. It's always far easier to say than do. I'd probably be a crying mess so you've already done better than I by writing this down.

Good luck.
Make or female there are always those who think they should have whoever they want on the side. Females can be as bad as blokes.

Some males and females have their naughty side and feel they deserve casual sex.

I have been on the other side of the fence having the affair with a married woman and have the mental scars. Never again.

Edited by Sa Calobra on Saturday 12th January 11:54

MrBarry123

4,970 posts

59 months

Saturday 12th January
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Sa Calobra said:
Sorry once it becomes a regular deception it's gone.

Wipe your dignity off the floor and move on.

Never stay together for the kids sake.

They need happy parents too.

Even if she didn't travel again she's had a taste for other men.
Absolutely.

Wish

632 posts

187 months

Saturday 12th January
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End it now.... you will never be able to forget, it will eat you from the inside forwever. Years and years down the line it will always be in your mind, it might not be everyday but it will be at least every week.

Even at this point you think you can forgive and forget and you love the person dearly, you think it will hurt more to leave now. It won’t. It truly dosent go. And at some point in the further you will wish you had left.


Leave and start over. No matter how hard you think it will be now. It’s cutting off an arm to save a body in the long run.

Sorry for you heart ache.

Jayzee

2,264 posts

142 months

Saturday 12th January
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Wish said:
End it now.... you will never be able to forget, it will eat you from the inside forwever. Years and years down the line it will always be in your mind, it might not be everyday but it will be at least every week.

Even at this point you think you can forgive and forget and you love the person dearly, you think it will hurt more to leave now. It won’t. It truly dosent go. And at some point in the further you will wish you had left.


Leave and start over. No matter how hard you think it will be now. It’s cutting off an arm to save a body in the long run.

Sorry for you heart ache.
This is pretty much spot on advice. With the benefit of hindsight in my own marriage, I wished I’d not bothered to try and make things work with someone who cheated and lied so much.

MDMA .

4,456 posts

39 months

Saturday 12th January
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red_slr said:
Pics.... anyone asked for pics?
Still waiting for the "partner's dream looks and assets!" pics wink

poo at Paul's

6,623 posts

113 months

Saturday 12th January
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He or she is a shagbag / tart. Sad but true. You cannot trust him / her. Move on and don't move out, tell him / her to.

Macneil

148 posts

18 months

Saturday 12th January
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OP...is there anything you've done or not done that could have "justified the spouses actions? if your spaouse has a reason in their own mind that can be dealt with for the future, then work at it.

otherwise if you are blameless and they are a cheat bite the bullet and get it over with now.

Johnnytheboy

17,284 posts

124 months

Saturday 12th January
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MDMA . said:
red_slr said:
Pics.... anyone asked for pics?
Still waiting for the "partner's dream looks and assets!" pics wink
That's the line that makes me think the OP is female. Men don't have physical "assets".

irocfan

18,297 posts

128 months

Saturday 12th January
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Johnnytheboy said:
MDMA . said:
red_slr said:
Pics.... anyone asked for pics?
Still waiting for the "partner's dream looks and assets!" pics wink
That's the line that makes me think the OP is female. Men don't have physical "assets".
Funnily enough I thought that the assets in question were ££££

grumbledoak

23,787 posts

171 months

Saturday 12th January
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Johnnytheboy said:
That's the line that makes me think the OP is female. Men don't have physical "assets".
He could own a chain of hotels.

alfie2244

8,997 posts

126 months

Saturday 12th January
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grumbledoak said:
He could own a chain of hotels.
I prefer buying utilities & stations myself.

poo at Paul's

6,623 posts

113 months

Saturday 12th January
quotequote all
grumbledoak said:
Johnnytheboy said:
That's the line that makes me think the OP is female. Men don't have physical "assets".
He could own a chain of hotels.
Gulzar's Dad?