Match.com (Vol. 7)
Discussion
ChemicalChaos said:
A tricky question here, to put to the PH massive...
... Answers invited.....
Don't over-think it, just tell her. If you want to hedge your bets you could qualify it slightly by saying something like 'I think/am pretty sure I'm falling in love with you' or something cheesily similar, but just come out with it. ... Answers invited.....
If it does precipitate a disastrous and embarrassing silence you at least have found out she despises you before wasting any more time with her. Good luck.
ChemicalChaos said:
A tricky question here, to put to the PH massive.
My girlfriend and I are going from strength to strength, today is only 2 months since our first date, but time seems weirdly elongated - it feels like we've known each other for ages (in a good way!) due to how well we instantly "clicked" and settled into chatting like old friends. It seems both of us are convinced that the other is "the one" and I'm so incredibly happy with everything about her - and my perception would be she feels the same.
It may therefore not come as a surprise that I want to tell her I love her - I really have never felt so strongly about someone in my entire life. But is it too soon? If so, how long is the correct amount of time? I'm aware it's a bit of a "piece of string" question but I also, despite our affection for each other, don't want to come across as worrying levels of overly attached!
Answers invited.....
Its difficult territory - the clue may be in the username. Its up to each couple, but be aware the honeymoon period, hormones and your body is designed to make you feel in a certain way. This phase does end, so just be wise to how its going, how quickly things are going before you have both had a chance to figure out red flags. My girlfriend and I are going from strength to strength, today is only 2 months since our first date, but time seems weirdly elongated - it feels like we've known each other for ages (in a good way!) due to how well we instantly "clicked" and settled into chatting like old friends. It seems both of us are convinced that the other is "the one" and I'm so incredibly happy with everything about her - and my perception would be she feels the same.
It may therefore not come as a surprise that I want to tell her I love her - I really have never felt so strongly about someone in my entire life. But is it too soon? If so, how long is the correct amount of time? I'm aware it's a bit of a "piece of string" question but I also, despite our affection for each other, don't want to come across as worrying levels of overly attached!
Answers invited.....
Dont ask me how I know..
This is why I wanted to ask advice here..... I know she doesn't dislike me as suggested above, she is acting just as smitten as I am - hell, she's booked a weekend away for us! I'm 99.9% sure she would reciprocate the same at the correct moment in time but I'm not sure if she also thinks we're at the time yet.... and I definitely don't want to cause an awkward silence!
Part of me wants to leave it a bit longer, but part of me also wonders whether she is already thinking "he's really into me, so when's he going to tell me he loves me?"
I really hate having an overthinking imagination....
Part of me wants to leave it a bit longer, but part of me also wonders whether she is already thinking "he's really into me, so when's he going to tell me he loves me?"
I really hate having an overthinking imagination....
ChemicalChaos said:
A tricky question here, to put to the PH massive.
My girlfriend and I are going from strength to strength, today is only 2 months since our first date, but time seems weirdly elongated - it feels like we've known each other for ages (in a good way!) due to how well we instantly "clicked" and settled into chatting like old friends. It seems both of us are convinced that the other is "the one" and I'm so incredibly happy with everything about her - and my perception would be she feels the same.
It may therefore not come as a surprise that I want to tell her I love her - I really have never felt so strongly about someone in my entire life. But is it too soon? If so, how long is the correct amount of time? I'm aware it's a bit of a "piece of string" question but I also, despite our affection for each other, don't want to come across as worrying levels of overly attached!
Answers invited.....
There's no one size fits all answer to such a question. Telling someone you love them. for the first time, has an impact, and it depends as much on the nature of the other person as it does the relationship and how you feel.My girlfriend and I are going from strength to strength, today is only 2 months since our first date, but time seems weirdly elongated - it feels like we've known each other for ages (in a good way!) due to how well we instantly "clicked" and settled into chatting like old friends. It seems both of us are convinced that the other is "the one" and I'm so incredibly happy with everything about her - and my perception would be she feels the same.
It may therefore not come as a surprise that I want to tell her I love her - I really have never felt so strongly about someone in my entire life. But is it too soon? If so, how long is the correct amount of time? I'm aware it's a bit of a "piece of string" question but I also, despite our affection for each other, don't want to come across as worrying levels of overly attached!
Answers invited.....
On the one hand, a needy and insecure person might find it reassuring, whilst someone more independent, who enjoys the early part of the relationship because it's carefree, migh find it a little pressuring. Ultimately then it's not so much about when, but about playing the course you're on, and only you are able to tell what kind of person your girlfriend is.
If it were me, and I was uncertain, then I'd wait. Saying so could go either way but, in my experience, being the second one to say it, or the one to reciprocate, has no such potential downsides.
Adam. said:
Was in a similar position, say what you feel but start with 'I am falling in love with you'
IMHO
This bit only if you genuinely feel it.IMHO
It's worked out that I've always told the other person first and I blurted it out to my gf after about a month in the heat of the moment. We had been inseparable for most of that time, had met her family and was feeling it more than I'd ever done before.
She didn't reciprocate and I didn't expect her to but she did kiss me passionately so it wasn't awkward. Later she asked me how many women I'd said it to I guess to determine if I was being genuine instead of throwing it about to everyone.
I had about a week of flapping in my head that I had f
ked up then she traced on my palm with her finger while we were cuddling:I
'loveheart'
U
Like a d
head I didn't realise so was like "eh? What you doing". She did it again so I finally twigged and the rest is history.technodup said:
Get steaming then blurt it out at 3am in some Spanish back alley. That's what I did and it didn't do me any harm.
You can also deny it/blame it on the drink in the morning if need be.
I was waiting for you to come out with a different strategy. You can also deny it/blame it on the drink in the morning if need be.
I half expected you to say “get your hole” and stop thinking or something like that
.interstellar said:
technodup said:
Get steaming then blurt it out at 3am in some Spanish back alley. That's what I did and it didn't do me any harm.
You can also deny it/blame it on the drink in the morning if need be.
I was waiting for you to come out with a different strategy. You can also deny it/blame it on the drink in the morning if need be.
I half expected you to say “get your hole” and stop thinking or something like that
Edited by csd19 on Wednesday 20th March 22:46
csd19 said:
interstellar said:
technodup said:
Get steaming then blurt it out at 3am in some Spanish back alley. That's what I did and it didn't do me any harm.
You can also deny it/blame it on the drink in the morning if need be.
I was waiting for you to come out with a different strategy. You can also deny it/blame it on the drink in the morning if need be.
I half expected you to say “get your hole” and stop thinking or something like that
asfault said:
pof getting worse.
Now 30% or so of the female profiles say "theyre into messages from mutual matches send them a like" you cant message them until you send a like and obviously they like back,
Hard to think of another area that has become so much worse in such a short time. Now 30% or so of the female profiles say "theyre into messages from mutual matches send them a like" you cant message them until you send a like and obviously they like back,
One unifying factor appears to be Match. Everything they buy turns to unusable s
t. Okcupid used to be a cool place until they arrived. POF was always a pit but was kind of usable. Match itself has now dumped conventional searching and is 50% one sentence scammers. It's like they're actively trying to repel customers which is an interesting approach.
bloomen said:
Hard to think of another area that has become so much worse in such a short time.
One unifying factor appears to be Match. Everything they buy turns to unusable st. Okcupid used to be a cool place until they arrived. POF was always a pit but was kind of usable. Match itself has now dumped conventional searching and is 50% one sentence scammers.
It's like they're actively trying to repel customers which is an interesting approach.
Match became a pita when they also went over to single profile swiping rather than a general search option.One unifying factor appears to be Match. Everything they buy turns to unusable s
t. Okcupid used to be a cool place until they arrived. POF was always a pit but was kind of usable. Match itself has now dumped conventional searching and is 50% one sentence scammers. It's like they're actively trying to repel customers which is an interesting approach.
Good news though I noticed the other day if you go on their website (rather than the app) search function has a full list of profiles back again, with the added option of "online now" also returned, problem still is you have to scroll down through all the chunky ones as they have still not added back the "search by body shape" option, still better than left swiping tons of them for ages until you get to at least one half decent profile.
PAUL.S. said:
Good news though I noticed the other day if you go on their website (rather than the app) search function has a full list of profiles back again
Ah. That's progress. They must've had an absolute tidal wave of complaints to roll that back. Mark V GTD said:
What about Tinder? I think I must have reported about 30 fake accounts in one session the other day - they all have a bio reference to something like 'I'm on Match Naked... etc'. There are dozens of them every day.
I'd love to know what the success rate of these fakes are, and what success looks like. They're basically identical so scrollers will immediately dismiss all of them. No one's going to decide identical bot number 178 is clearly their future wife unless there's something seriously wrong with them.
Or maybe they're planted by the site operators and the goal is to get you to cough up.
You're still going to dismiss them.
Edited by bloomen on Friday 22 March 17:35
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff