A bit council (Vol 5)
Discussion
witteringon said:
Perhaps woke is not the right word, and I was being a bit grumpy and over sensitive here. I freely admit I am not their target audience, but I am getting a tad fed up with this relentless attempt by advertisers to be terribly inclusive and correct and it puts me off buying their product rather than encourages me. No offence intended!
I've watched the advert a few times and don't see how they went to any particular effort to be 'woke' in the content or who they cast.Getting the thread back on topic, can anyone confirm for me if it's just down here in deepest darkest Kent that suffers with a proliferation of (hopefully) clean white bed sheets, which are freshly bought from the local Argos/Poundshop/Home Bargain before being badly sprayed with aerosol paint declaring that 'Kezza is 40' or 'I luv you, Sharon, marry me' in a horrendously spelt abomination of the English language before then being pinned onto the local footbridge for everyone to see??
Only for that same bed sheet to remain in place for the forthcoming weeks, slowly deteriorating and becoming more and more threadbard until someone has to remove their artwork?
Council at it's finest! However I have never seen them being put up, they just appear!
I am expecting that it is completed by some 50 something Councilite Ninja, dressed in their finest dressing gown and crocs creeping around at 1am with a pocket full of cable ties.
Only for that same bed sheet to remain in place for the forthcoming weeks, slowly deteriorating and becoming more and more threadbard until someone has to remove their artwork?
Council at it's finest! However I have never seen them being put up, they just appear!
I am expecting that it is completed by some 50 something Councilite Ninja, dressed in their finest dressing gown and crocs creeping around at 1am with a pocket full of cable ties.
Daggle74 said:
Getting the thread back on topic, can anyone confirm for me if it's just down here in deepest darkest Kent that suffers with a proliferation of (hopefully) clean white bed sheets, which are freshly bought from the local Argos/Poundshop/Home Bargain before being badly sprayed with aerosol paint declaring that 'Kezza is 40' or 'I luv you, Sharon, marry me' in a horrendously spelt abomination of the English language before then being pinned onto the local footbridge for everyone to see??
Only for that same bed sheet to remain in place for the forthcoming weeks, slowly deteriorating and becoming more and more threadbard until someone has to remove their artwork?
Council at it's finest! However I have never seen them being put up, they just appear!
I am expecting that it is completed by some 50 something Councilite Ninja, dressed in their finest dressing gown and crocs creeping around at 1am with a pocket full of cable ties.
Just like when the local young promising footballer crashes his stolen motorbike into a lamppost.Only for that same bed sheet to remain in place for the forthcoming weeks, slowly deteriorating and becoming more and more threadbard until someone has to remove their artwork?
Council at it's finest! However I have never seen them being put up, they just appear!
I am expecting that it is completed by some 50 something Councilite Ninja, dressed in their finest dressing gown and crocs creeping around at 1am with a pocket full of cable ties.
All of a sudden football shirts appear overnight hung all over the crash site.
hucumber said:
austinsmirk said:
Ok- roll back maybe 27/28 years. I'm a young man. I go with two surveyors to visit a "mucky" house.
a bloke about 25 years old seems to have taken over a relatives house. we never knew. he had 3 Alsatian dogs. looks like they were locked upstairs/roamed upstairs. the volume of poo was so great, room to room, the carpets were rotting into the floors. I think from memory they'd been starved to death and the bodies were also rotting into the floors.
the bathtub was full of poo, with a crush of urine on top. the wc was full. the seat was up on bricks to raise it, to keep filling it. it'd got so bad, he was then living downstairs. downstairs was a sea of junk- with maybe 300 milk bottles full of urine. 100's of baked bean cans and dog food cans.
there was a green sofa in amongst the chaos of this house. a few art pamphlets strewn about. and a cardboard tube.
one of them picks it up, opens the end- eyes go wide and he chucks it back down. other surveyor, picks it up. slides out the glass tube and suction pump.
and stands there. in perhaps one of the worst houses I have ever been in.
holding firm the glass penis pump and suction kit, looking at us two going "what is it?"
we let him sweat and then tell him- he freaks out, throwing it down.
anyway we photograph it- now propped up on the sofa.
a few weeks later, I sit in on an interview with this bloke in the office. I watch while the manager and surveyor go through these pictures with this man- laying out a picture of his penis pump on the table. These days you'd be infringing his civil liberties !
But I do think- look mate you are living in a house feet thick in excrement. you're existing on a sofa surrounded by milk bottles of pee. you are single.
your solution to woo the fairer sex is to buy a pump. Because obviously when you get a fair maiden back to your home, that's all that's going to matter !!!
Due to my line of work I've been in similar houses, I can almost taste your description a bloke about 25 years old seems to have taken over a relatives house. we never knew. he had 3 Alsatian dogs. looks like they were locked upstairs/roamed upstairs. the volume of poo was so great, room to room, the carpets were rotting into the floors. I think from memory they'd been starved to death and the bodies were also rotting into the floors.
the bathtub was full of poo, with a crush of urine on top. the wc was full. the seat was up on bricks to raise it, to keep filling it. it'd got so bad, he was then living downstairs. downstairs was a sea of junk- with maybe 300 milk bottles full of urine. 100's of baked bean cans and dog food cans.
there was a green sofa in amongst the chaos of this house. a few art pamphlets strewn about. and a cardboard tube.
one of them picks it up, opens the end- eyes go wide and he chucks it back down. other surveyor, picks it up. slides out the glass tube and suction pump.
and stands there. in perhaps one of the worst houses I have ever been in.
holding firm the glass penis pump and suction kit, looking at us two going "what is it?"
we let him sweat and then tell him- he freaks out, throwing it down.
anyway we photograph it- now propped up on the sofa.
a few weeks later, I sit in on an interview with this bloke in the office. I watch while the manager and surveyor go through these pictures with this man- laying out a picture of his penis pump on the table. These days you'd be infringing his civil liberties !
But I do think- look mate you are living in a house feet thick in excrement. you're existing on a sofa surrounded by milk bottles of pee. you are single.
your solution to woo the fairer sex is to buy a pump. Because obviously when you get a fair maiden back to your home, that's all that's going to matter !!!
Also in Plumstead I visited a sheltered housing complex, I walked into the flat after the door was left open for me,to be hit with this wall of stench, this guy was sat on a chair with his leg on show, it looked like it has no skin on it, that's because it didn't.. I checked the sky terminal but had to leave, the smell was that bad, whilst im out side throwing up over a drain, he's on the phone making a complaint about my conduct, he had forgotten to mention why id just said I couldn't do the job and left. I had to go back a few weeks later where a nurse was onsite to open all the windows, she told me that, he has stubbed his little toe which went bad, he had left it and gangrene started, he was told he had to remove his little toe but he refused, it has got to now he was having to have his left arse cheek and left leg removed, oh the smell, rotten meat, that had rotten.
The attempted murder scene in a stairwell in a block of flats in Erith was very pleasing to witness, two local folk had got a bit shabby in the stair well and there was dried blood everywhere on the floor, on the hand rail, on the glass, on the doors to each floor, this covered 3-4 levels.
Homerton, I was shot at whilst loading my van back up. First I hear a bang, I look down to see a hole in my wheel trim, then I hear another bang and feel a searing pain in the back of my leg as id been shot, I ran to my door and got in, I drove off across the lawns of the flats taking two more hits to the back of the van, id been the victim of a sniper with an air rifle in the flats opposite. Surprisingly the police were not interested when I called it in.
Lots of London areas, council..
Whistle said:
Daggle74 said:
Getting the thread back on topic, can anyone confirm for me if it's just down here in deepest darkest Kent that suffers with a proliferation of (hopefully) clean white bed sheets, which are freshly bought from the local Argos/Poundshop/Home Bargain before being badly sprayed with aerosol paint declaring that 'Kezza is 40' or 'I luv you, Sharon, marry me' in a horrendously spelt abomination of the English language before then being pinned onto the local footbridge for everyone to see??
Only for that same bed sheet to remain in place for the forthcoming weeks, slowly deteriorating and becoming more and more threadbard until someone has to remove their artwork?
Council at it's finest! However I have never seen them being put up, they just appear!
I am expecting that it is completed by some 50 something Councilite Ninja, dressed in their finest dressing gown and crocs creeping around at 1am with a pocket full of cable ties.
Just like when the local young promising footballer crashes his stolen motorbike into a lamppost.Only for that same bed sheet to remain in place for the forthcoming weeks, slowly deteriorating and becoming more and more threadbard until someone has to remove their artwork?
Council at it's finest! However I have never seen them being put up, they just appear!
I am expecting that it is completed by some 50 something Councilite Ninja, dressed in their finest dressing gown and crocs creeping around at 1am with a pocket full of cable ties.
All of a sudden football shirts appear overnight hung all over the crash site.
And we also have a few roadside "memorials" one is a very dirty bunch of fake flowers cable tied to a broken fence, and another is a board fitted to a wall complete with photo and welsh flag...
A young lad was killed locally on his motorbike, very sad, it slowly transpired that he wasn't the angel initially reported and in fact the car that hit him did so deliberately along a several mile car Vs motorbike war due to a drug dispute
His 'memorial' is still there 18mths later and it is, a rusty motorbike with garage flowers attached
His 'memorial' is still there 18mths later and it is, a rusty motorbike with garage flowers attached
Tom Logan said:
The s
t-bag is holding the dog.
This is a timely post.. Ive just had to install cctv and a sign on my lawn to stop someone letting their dogs crap on my lawn.. Disgusting behaviour. If the cameras catch the culprit at it again then i am going to follow them home and crack one out on their front lawn - My myself and Irene stylet-bag is holding the dog.
paulguitar said:
Dog Star said:
Must. Not. Comment. Resist.
Mrs. Guitar is a psychologist. She'd have so much material to work on with you, DS! 
BawlBag said:
Dog Star said:
I don't understand it myself - rough fat munters. I can't help it. I know they're munters, but I'd rather one of them than some slim fittie supermodel.
Yea right, say that when both are laying in front of you naked and waiting 
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