Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 11)
Discussion
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what? "At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what? "At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap.
DoctorX said:
thegreenhell said:
DoctorX said:
Ultra Sound Guy said:
Read a book last night on how to end sentences with Beatles song titles.
That's two hours of my life I won't get back.
Yeah, I read that Yesterday. Now I need Help.That's two hours of my life I won't get back.
thegreenhell said:
DoctorX said:
Ultra Sound Guy said:
Read a book last night on how to end sentences with Beatles song titles.
That's two hours of my life I won't get back.
Yeah, I read that Yesterday. Now I need Help.That's two hours of my life I won't get back.
paua said:
I rear-ended a car this morning - the start of a bad day. The driver got out of the other vehicle, he was a dwarf. He looked up at me & said "I'm not happy". I replied "well which one are you, then?"
That's when the fight started ( requisite Vipers ending)
Fighting with a dwarf - Did a bystander say 'Pick on someone your own size', or are you also a dwarf That's when the fight started ( requisite Vipers ending)
Rayny said:
paua said:
I rear-ended a car this morning - the start of a bad day. The driver got out of the other vehicle, he was a dwarf. He looked up at me & said "I'm not happy". I replied "well which one are you, then?"
That's when the fight started ( requisite Vipers ending)
Fighting with a dwarf - Did a bystander say 'Pick on someone your own size', or are you also a dwarf That's when the fight started ( requisite Vipers ending)
Stealthracer said:
thegreenhell said:
DoctorX said:
Ultra Sound Guy said:
Read a book last night on how to end sentences with Beatles song titles.
That's two hours of my life I won't get back.
Yeah, I read that Yesterday. Now I need Help.That's two hours of my life I won't get back.
PomBstard said:
Stealthracer said:
thegreenhell said:
DoctorX said:
Ultra Sound Guy said:
Read a book last night on how to end sentences with Beatles song titles.
That's two hours of my life I won't get back.
Yeah, I read that Yesterday. Now I need Help.That's two hours of my life I won't get back.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff