Things I Got Wrong
Discussion
Two for me, house purchase with a very ex-fiance (she buggered off leaving me with the can), I was just about able to service the mortgage, but was in the commuting rat race. Was offered a shared ownership Thames view apartment with balcony in Canary Wharf, that using some man maths, could've afforded. God knows what it's worth now.
Similarly, a friend of mine suggested I could buy some shares of a fruit based computing company when they were rock bottom, I looked at my savings and thought, what if it all goes titsup. He on the other hand splurged £5K into shares, sold them in as a partial lump sum, then piece meal after each big announcement. He could've retired at 45, but switched tracks and works as a contractor, owns a few nice houses here in blighty, and a few overseas including an apartment in Dubai bought for peanuts. I keep teasing him if he's decided yet on the stitching for the seats on his private jet.
Well you live and learn, sort of.
Similarly, a friend of mine suggested I could buy some shares of a fruit based computing company when they were rock bottom, I looked at my savings and thought, what if it all goes titsup. He on the other hand splurged £5K into shares, sold them in as a partial lump sum, then piece meal after each big announcement. He could've retired at 45, but switched tracks and works as a contractor, owns a few nice houses here in blighty, and a few overseas including an apartment in Dubai bought for peanuts. I keep teasing him if he's decided yet on the stitching for the seats on his private jet.
Well you live and learn, sort of.
There are loads that involve losing a few quid over the years, but the main thing I got wrong stays with me every day.
My brother who was exceptionally succesful in his career, fell foul of the booze some years ago. He was always a big drinker, but at this point it had become a bottle of gin by 10am, then moving onto wine for the rest of the day.
The distance was a challenge, he's south, I'm north. He openly told me he had a problem and I tried everything to get him into rehab but he wouldn't. I rang him every morning at 8am and speak for half an hour on my daily commute. Finally, he had to go into the office for the first time in a few years and he had a massive heart attack and was air lifted to hospital - resuscitated en route. I went to see him of course. In there he got himself sober and didn't drink wehn he got out. Phew.
Two weeks later it was his 50th and he had a glass of champagne, then a bottle. And that was it - back on it. I drove to see him, took him to A&E becuase he was in such a state, they admitted him and he got sober again and they gave him a relatively clean bill of health. He promised that was it.
2 weeks later I got the call - his 13 year old son had found him dead on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom.
Every day I feel I should have done more. People tell me all the time I couldn't have but when the outcome isn't the one you wanted you don't feel like that.
Anyhow, I got that wrong. If you got to the end - thanks for reading. Sinbad.
My brother who was exceptionally succesful in his career, fell foul of the booze some years ago. He was always a big drinker, but at this point it had become a bottle of gin by 10am, then moving onto wine for the rest of the day.
The distance was a challenge, he's south, I'm north. He openly told me he had a problem and I tried everything to get him into rehab but he wouldn't. I rang him every morning at 8am and speak for half an hour on my daily commute. Finally, he had to go into the office for the first time in a few years and he had a massive heart attack and was air lifted to hospital - resuscitated en route. I went to see him of course. In there he got himself sober and didn't drink wehn he got out. Phew.
Two weeks later it was his 50th and he had a glass of champagne, then a bottle. And that was it - back on it. I drove to see him, took him to A&E becuase he was in such a state, they admitted him and he got sober again and they gave him a relatively clean bill of health. He promised that was it.
2 weeks later I got the call - his 13 year old son had found him dead on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom.
Every day I feel I should have done more. People tell me all the time I couldn't have but when the outcome isn't the one you wanted you don't feel like that.
Anyhow, I got that wrong. If you got to the end - thanks for reading. Sinbad.
sinbaddio said:
There are loads that involve losing a few quid over the years, but the main thing I got wrong stays with me every day.
My brother who was exceptionally succesful in his career, fell foul of the booze some years ago. He was always a big drinker, but at this point it had become a bottle of gin by 10am, then moving onto wine for the rest of the day.
The distance was a challenge, he's south, I'm north. He openly told me he had a problem and I tried everything to get him into rehab but he wouldn't. I rang him every morning at 8am and speak for half an hour on my daily commute. Finally, he had to go into the office for the first time in a few years and he had a massive heart attack and was air lifted to hospital - resuscitated en route. I went to see him of course. In there he got himself sober and didn't drink wehn he got out. Phew.
Two weeks later it was his 50th and he had a glass of champagne, then a bottle. And that was it - back on it. I drove to see him, took him to A&E becuase he was in such a state, they admitted him and he got sober again and they gave him a relatively clean bill of health. He promised that was it.
2 weeks later I got the call - his 13 year old son had found him dead on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom.
Every day I feel I should have done more. People tell me all the time I couldn't have but when the outcome isn't the one you wanted you don't feel like that.
Anyhow, I got that wrong. If you got to the end - thanks for reading. Sinbad.
I don’t think you got that wrong at all , quite the opposite infant . The old saying you can lead a horse to water ……. My brother who was exceptionally succesful in his career, fell foul of the booze some years ago. He was always a big drinker, but at this point it had become a bottle of gin by 10am, then moving onto wine for the rest of the day.
The distance was a challenge, he's south, I'm north. He openly told me he had a problem and I tried everything to get him into rehab but he wouldn't. I rang him every morning at 8am and speak for half an hour on my daily commute. Finally, he had to go into the office for the first time in a few years and he had a massive heart attack and was air lifted to hospital - resuscitated en route. I went to see him of course. In there he got himself sober and didn't drink wehn he got out. Phew.
Two weeks later it was his 50th and he had a glass of champagne, then a bottle. And that was it - back on it. I drove to see him, took him to A&E becuase he was in such a state, they admitted him and he got sober again and they gave him a relatively clean bill of health. He promised that was it.
2 weeks later I got the call - his 13 year old son had found him dead on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom.
Every day I feel I should have done more. People tell me all the time I couldn't have but when the outcome isn't the one you wanted you don't feel like that.
Anyhow, I got that wrong. If you got to the end - thanks for reading. Sinbad.
He didn’t want professional help .
But you were there all the way .
sinbaddio said:
There are loads that involve losing a few quid over the years, but the main thing I got wrong stays with me every day.
My brother who was exceptionally succesful in his career, fell foul of the booze some years ago. He was always a big drinker, but at this point it had become a bottle of gin by 10am, then moving onto wine for the rest of the day.
The distance was a challenge, he's south, I'm north. He openly told me he had a problem and I tried everything to get him into rehab but he wouldn't. I rang him every morning at 8am and speak for half an hour on my daily commute. Finally, he had to go into the office for the first time in a few years and he had a massive heart attack and was air lifted to hospital - resuscitated en route. I went to see him of course. In there he got himself sober and didn't drink wehn he got out. Phew.
Two weeks later it was his 50th and he had a glass of champagne, then a bottle. And that was it - back on it. I drove to see him, took him to A&E becuase he was in such a state, they admitted him and he got sober again and they gave him a relatively clean bill of health. He promised that was it.
2 weeks later I got the call - his 13 year old son had found him dead on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom.
Every day I feel I should have done more. People tell me all the time I couldn't have but when the outcome isn't the one you wanted you don't feel like that.
Anyhow, I got that wrong. If you got to the end - thanks for reading. Sinbad.
Sorry for your loss mate.My brother who was exceptionally succesful in his career, fell foul of the booze some years ago. He was always a big drinker, but at this point it had become a bottle of gin by 10am, then moving onto wine for the rest of the day.
The distance was a challenge, he's south, I'm north. He openly told me he had a problem and I tried everything to get him into rehab but he wouldn't. I rang him every morning at 8am and speak for half an hour on my daily commute. Finally, he had to go into the office for the first time in a few years and he had a massive heart attack and was air lifted to hospital - resuscitated en route. I went to see him of course. In there he got himself sober and didn't drink wehn he got out. Phew.
Two weeks later it was his 50th and he had a glass of champagne, then a bottle. And that was it - back on it. I drove to see him, took him to A&E becuase he was in such a state, they admitted him and he got sober again and they gave him a relatively clean bill of health. He promised that was it.
2 weeks later I got the call - his 13 year old son had found him dead on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom.
Every day I feel I should have done more. People tell me all the time I couldn't have but when the outcome isn't the one you wanted you don't feel like that.
Anyhow, I got that wrong. If you got to the end - thanks for reading. Sinbad.
My biggest ever regret is not spending more time with my Dad when he got cancer. I realise it now that I was in denial about it as we were very close. It was a massive loss to me with profound impacts.
Ignoring my window cleaner who told me to buy bitcoin 10 years ago or something.
My window cleaner is considerably richer than I now (he's been smart to be fair)
Buying a substantial amount of shares in a small co on AIM, had a staunch 10% sell plan, sold at 10% profit, chuffed to bits, a week or so later they were subject of an massive find and went up 200 off %.....however, used my substantial pot to buy another company on basis they may do the same, went on holiday, could sell as they lost 75% of their value in 2 weeks.
Never touched shares since.
Oh well.
My window cleaner is considerably richer than I now (he's been smart to be fair)
Buying a substantial amount of shares in a small co on AIM, had a staunch 10% sell plan, sold at 10% profit, chuffed to bits, a week or so later they were subject of an massive find and went up 200 off %.....however, used my substantial pot to buy another company on basis they may do the same, went on holiday, could sell as they lost 75% of their value in 2 weeks.
Never touched shares since.
Oh well.
This week...Stihl hedge cutter would start, idle, but just wouldn't rev up. It would bog down and die.
Took carb apart, cleaned and adjusted etc. Still same.
Did some Googling. Most suggesting blocked carb jet. One reply mentioned a blocked, coked up exhaust. Read this, thought it's a possibility but ignored.
Took the carb apart again, same, bought a new carb!...still same.
Happened to look at the exhaust tube...saw it was blocked with a bit of carbon crud. FFS.
Took carb apart, cleaned and adjusted etc. Still same.
Did some Googling. Most suggesting blocked carb jet. One reply mentioned a blocked, coked up exhaust. Read this, thought it's a possibility but ignored.
Took the carb apart again, same, bought a new carb!...still same.
Happened to look at the exhaust tube...saw it was blocked with a bit of carbon crud. FFS.
sinbaddio said:
There are loads that involve losing a few quid over the years, but the main thing I got wrong stays with me every day.
My brother who was exceptionally succesful in his career, fell foul of the booze some years ago. He was always a big drinker, but at this point it had become a bottle of gin by 10am, then moving onto wine for the rest of the day.
The distance was a challenge, he's south, I'm north. He openly told me he had a problem and I tried everything to get him into rehab but he wouldn't. I rang him every morning at 8am and speak for half an hour on my daily commute. Finally, he had to go into the office for the first time in a few years and he had a massive heart attack and was air lifted to hospital - resuscitated en route. I went to see him of course. In there he got himself sober and didn't drink wehn he got out. Phew.
Two weeks later it was his 50th and he had a glass of champagne, then a bottle. And that was it - back on it. I drove to see him, took him to A&E becuase he was in such a state, they admitted him and he got sober again and they gave him a relatively clean bill of health. He promised that was it.
2 weeks later I got the call - his 13 year old son had found him dead on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom.
Every day I feel I should have done more. People tell me all the time I couldn't have but when the outcome isn't the one you wanted you don't feel like that.
Anyhow, I got that wrong. If you got to the end - thanks for reading. Sinbad.
I don't there is anything else you could have done, you did as much as you could and far more than most would have done. Sorry for your loss and I understand your position as I lost my brother to drink and smoking last year.My brother who was exceptionally succesful in his career, fell foul of the booze some years ago. He was always a big drinker, but at this point it had become a bottle of gin by 10am, then moving onto wine for the rest of the day.
The distance was a challenge, he's south, I'm north. He openly told me he had a problem and I tried everything to get him into rehab but he wouldn't. I rang him every morning at 8am and speak for half an hour on my daily commute. Finally, he had to go into the office for the first time in a few years and he had a massive heart attack and was air lifted to hospital - resuscitated en route. I went to see him of course. In there he got himself sober and didn't drink wehn he got out. Phew.
Two weeks later it was his 50th and he had a glass of champagne, then a bottle. And that was it - back on it. I drove to see him, took him to A&E becuase he was in such a state, they admitted him and he got sober again and they gave him a relatively clean bill of health. He promised that was it.
2 weeks later I got the call - his 13 year old son had found him dead on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom.
Every day I feel I should have done more. People tell me all the time I couldn't have but when the outcome isn't the one you wanted you don't feel like that.
Anyhow, I got that wrong. If you got to the end - thanks for reading. Sinbad.
sinbaddio said:
There are loads that involve losing a few quid over the years, but the main thing I got wrong stays with me every day.
My brother who was exceptionally succesful in his career, fell foul of the booze some years ago. He was always a big drinker, but at this point it had become a bottle of gin by 10am, then moving onto wine for the rest of the day.
The distance was a challenge, he's south, I'm north. He openly told me he had a problem and I tried everything to get him into rehab but he wouldn't. I rang him every morning at 8am and speak for half an hour on my daily commute. Finally, he had to go into the office for the first time in a few years and he had a massive heart attack and was air lifted to hospital - resuscitated en route. I went to see him of course. In there he got himself sober and didn't drink wehn he got out. Phew.
Two weeks later it was his 50th and he had a glass of champagne, then a bottle. And that was it - back on it. I drove to see him, took him to A&E becuase he was in such a state, they admitted him and he got sober again and they gave him a relatively clean bill of health. He promised that was it.
2 weeks later I got the call - his 13 year old son had found him dead on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom.
Every day I feel I should have done more. People tell me all the time I couldn't have but when the outcome isn't the one you wanted you don't feel like that.
Anyhow, I got that wrong. If you got to the end - thanks for reading. Sinbad.
Very similar story with my Dad he was my hero but after taking a very early retirement he went down hill and found him dead on his boat - drank himself to death by 51. My brother who was exceptionally succesful in his career, fell foul of the booze some years ago. He was always a big drinker, but at this point it had become a bottle of gin by 10am, then moving onto wine for the rest of the day.
The distance was a challenge, he's south, I'm north. He openly told me he had a problem and I tried everything to get him into rehab but he wouldn't. I rang him every morning at 8am and speak for half an hour on my daily commute. Finally, he had to go into the office for the first time in a few years and he had a massive heart attack and was air lifted to hospital - resuscitated en route. I went to see him of course. In there he got himself sober and didn't drink wehn he got out. Phew.
Two weeks later it was his 50th and he had a glass of champagne, then a bottle. And that was it - back on it. I drove to see him, took him to A&E becuase he was in such a state, they admitted him and he got sober again and they gave him a relatively clean bill of health. He promised that was it.
2 weeks later I got the call - his 13 year old son had found him dead on a Sunday afternoon in his bedroom.
Every day I feel I should have done more. People tell me all the time I couldn't have but when the outcome isn't the one you wanted you don't feel like that.
Anyhow, I got that wrong. If you got to the end - thanks for reading. Sinbad.
Not so much a "got wrong", but something I sometimes wonder about the "what if?"......
On work-experience at a London recording studio at the age of 16. Was in the "keyboard" programming room having a play and playing some tunes.
A guy came in who was a big-time for the artist CeCe Peniston - she was just having her hit "Finally". They needed a keyboard player and programmer.
We spoke (well, he did as I was an anxiety-ridden, stammering teenager with confidence issues) - asked me if I was interested in joining the team.
I said I'd think about it and get back to him.
I never did get back to him.
Might have put me on a different path, who knows. But on my days when I think about the rubbish things going on in my life, I refer back to this "sliding doors" moment
Aside from that, I'm too cautious/boring/calculating to get things wrong...... which I why I'll probably never get anywhere. And at the ripe old age of nearly 49, some might say I need to get a "jiggy on" LOL!!
Dan
On work-experience at a London recording studio at the age of 16. Was in the "keyboard" programming room having a play and playing some tunes.
A guy came in who was a big-time for the artist CeCe Peniston - she was just having her hit "Finally". They needed a keyboard player and programmer.
We spoke (well, he did as I was an anxiety-ridden, stammering teenager with confidence issues) - asked me if I was interested in joining the team.
I said I'd think about it and get back to him.
I never did get back to him.
Might have put me on a different path, who knows. But on my days when I think about the rubbish things going on in my life, I refer back to this "sliding doors" moment
Aside from that, I'm too cautious/boring/calculating to get things wrong...... which I why I'll probably never get anywhere. And at the ripe old age of nearly 49, some might say I need to get a "jiggy on" LOL!!
Dan
Was offered the chance to buy-into a new company a group of friends/colleagues were setting up. They needed the cash and were trying to avoid going to a so-called "business angel" in their initial growth period. Risk was high - they'd all negotiated mortgage breaks and the like.
The buy-in was a sizeable chunk of my net worth at the time (it was just over twenty years ago), and I chickened out at the risk.
They were all very smart people - all had PhDs, and most had been successful "working for the man" (i.e. in the real world) up to that point.
They were *massively* successful. The management consultancies noticed and, not being able to understand / replicate their technique, tried to buy them out c. 15 years ago. The sums involved would have made each a bi-millionaire.
They knew thier worth and continued independently. They now operate internationally. God only knows what the company is now worth, but all of them will have very happy (and likely early) retirements. Sadly, they're all into big houses rather than fast cars.
I should have bought in.
The buy-in was a sizeable chunk of my net worth at the time (it was just over twenty years ago), and I chickened out at the risk.
They were all very smart people - all had PhDs, and most had been successful "working for the man" (i.e. in the real world) up to that point.
They were *massively* successful. The management consultancies noticed and, not being able to understand / replicate their technique, tried to buy them out c. 15 years ago. The sums involved would have made each a bi-millionaire.
They knew thier worth and continued independently. They now operate internationally. God only knows what the company is now worth, but all of them will have very happy (and likely early) retirements. Sadly, they're all into big houses rather than fast cars.
I should have bought in.
DickyC said:
I once turned down the opportunity to buy a MkI Cortina Lotus for £1100. It was a good price and I could afford but I had a lot on.
PH pedantry alert. The Mk1 was a Lotus Cortina. Made by Lotus in Cheshunt with Ford body etc.
The Mk2 was the Cortina Lotus, made by Ford in Dagenham with Lotus engine/suspension.
Sheets Tabuer said:
Ignored red flags because she had cracking norks, not once, not twice but three times.
Carrying on partying long after it was time to stop.
Partying with birds that had great norks
Essentially norks have been my downfall.
lol..yeah!! For some reason when confronted with nice norks you cant seem to think about anything else...and the fact that the owner is certifiably nuts never seems to sink in. Carrying on partying long after it was time to stop.
Partying with birds that had great norks
Essentially norks have been my downfall.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
DickyC said:
I once turned down the opportunity to buy a MkI Cortina Lotus for £1100. It was a good price and I could afford but I had a lot on.
PH pedantry alert. The Mk1 was a Lotus Cortina. Made by Lotus in Cheshunt with Ford body etc.
The Mk2 was the Cortina Lotus, made by Ford in Dagenham with Lotus engine/suspension.
Back in 2012 my Dad, who had virtually retired from his business, was working on about a two or three months project in London, which was about 80 miles from where he lived, but about 25 miles from my house. It was a good earner, and I think he was planning on stopping pretty much after this was finished. I was going to suggest he stayed at ours, but Mrs Stinky wasn't that keen-it was our first place and we'd just moved in and all that.
Anyway Dad had decided to stay in digs somewhere in town, I was working in London too so I'd probably see him in any case. He mentioned he was off his food and was feeling a bit rough, but he was a bit old school and didn't want to make a song and dance...
About a third of the way through this job, he gave in-said he was feeling too ill and went home. Turned out he had stomach cancer, and died a few short weeks later..
I wish I'd insisted he'd stayed with us, it probably wouldn't have changed the outcome but the thought of him spending his nights in some flea pit, in pain and on his own kills me
Anyway Dad had decided to stay in digs somewhere in town, I was working in London too so I'd probably see him in any case. He mentioned he was off his food and was feeling a bit rough, but he was a bit old school and didn't want to make a song and dance...
About a third of the way through this job, he gave in-said he was feeling too ill and went home. Turned out he had stomach cancer, and died a few short weeks later..
I wish I'd insisted he'd stayed with us, it probably wouldn't have changed the outcome but the thought of him spending his nights in some flea pit, in pain and on his own kills me
Met the love of my life in 1981. Then in 1986 she decided she didn't want to see me for a while, but "wanted to stay friends".
Still regret not having an adult conversation about things, but I was a bolshy young man and just walked away completely.
Selling a MK2 Escort RS2000 in 1984 for less than £2,500!
But I replaced it with a 1982 Capri 2.8 Injection - that I sold for £4,000 in 1985 (albeit to go towards my first house deposit).
Bought another 2.8i in 1988 and sold it for less than £3,000 in 1990.
Obviously I didn't learn!
But pretty trivial compared to some of the things posted on here.
Still regret not having an adult conversation about things, but I was a bolshy young man and just walked away completely.
Selling a MK2 Escort RS2000 in 1984 for less than £2,500!
But I replaced it with a 1982 Capri 2.8 Injection - that I sold for £4,000 in 1985 (albeit to go towards my first house deposit).
Bought another 2.8i in 1988 and sold it for less than £3,000 in 1990.
Obviously I didn't learn!
But pretty trivial compared to some of the things posted on here.
At a school trip in the 80s the teachers got us all to join hands and touch an electric fence in a church (imagine if they dud that now!). I thought it was funny and cool to put my cock on it. Knocked me out and i puked up over my school uniform.
I don't regret that as much but one girl who I really liked never talked to me again. Turns out I was talking nonsense and asking for her whilst on the ground and telling anyone who would listen I wanted to f@ck her. He dad was one of the teachers.
Having kids with a nutter.
Not staying with Apple in the early 90s.
I don't regret that as much but one girl who I really liked never talked to me again. Turns out I was talking nonsense and asking for her whilst on the ground and telling anyone who would listen I wanted to f@ck her. He dad was one of the teachers.
Having kids with a nutter.
Not staying with Apple in the early 90s.
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