What do you care about? I mean REALLY care about?
Discussion
bergclimber34 said:
My self and my Dad, all I have left, some other friends I have that have always been there for me.
I do care about distant stuff.
The environment bothers me, but the world refuses to take the hard decisions, instead forcing us to consume garbage that will make no difference while avoiding the basic obvious answers.
The damage we do to plants and animals, really linked to the above, but I take solace that nature always finds a way and will happily wipe us out eventually and move on, hopefully leaving other creatures to thrive.
Also linked to this the sheer ignorance of most people sadly, the ones who moan and never take action, the ones who litter, who consume without thought,
I do believe we’re on a one way road to extinction, global warming is natural and humans are accelerating it that’s for sure but the end of the human race will happen just like the dinosaurs, there’s always tv programs mapping the history of the planet and it always ends with something being wiped out by a ice age, we just don’t know whenI do care about distant stuff.
The environment bothers me, but the world refuses to take the hard decisions, instead forcing us to consume garbage that will make no difference while avoiding the basic obvious answers.
The damage we do to plants and animals, really linked to the above, but I take solace that nature always finds a way and will happily wipe us out eventually and move on, hopefully leaving other creatures to thrive.
Also linked to this the sheer ignorance of most people sadly, the ones who moan and never take action, the ones who litter, who consume without thought,
I’ve also lost the point of reducing plastic waste, I went to Mallorca the week before last, and despite them having a single sue plastic ban, still had plastic straws, free plastic bags, plastic coffee cup lids, plastic bottles etc, I even picked up 2 boxes of cotton buds with plastic stalks.
Quattr04. said:
How do people cope with being so outraged by everything?
I made a conscious effort to stop it. Perpetual outrage makes it horrible to be around such people.A few years ago, in the middle of the pandemic, I came home from a night shift herding rogue students who weren't socially distancing, colleagues that were doing my head in and regaled my wife with a rant about it all and how s
t work was and how much I hated it. This was probably half an hour before she was due to start her own day working from home in a role that she enjoys but is much more stressful than mine when considering perspective.She sat there letting me vent with what I can only describe as a thousand-yard stare that went through me, the wall behind and down the street. Afterwards she simply asked if I was done and explained that my diatribe about the night before had totally ruined her day before it had begun. She described it as if I had drawn the curtains against the morning sun and brought about a black cloud. My rant was full of trivial and superficial negativities that in the grand scheme of things shouldn't bother me so much. Colleagues moaning and gossiping about management, students and colleagues? Why do I care? Overseas students going feral in their own closed quarters after months of quarantine conditions, try and see it from their perspective... and so on.
I felt rotten. I had practically browbeaten the poor lass with what was really a tantrum. I didn't sleep well that day but I took her comments on board and we chatted about it further during covid. It caused me to consider my own conversations and interactions with others going forward, I've even distanced myself from others that run on that negative setting. I've even tried to slowly nudge my old man into a more positive outlook rather than leave him be that old man shouting at clouds. I think it's gone a long way to make me a better person to be around and enhanced my enjoyment of other people's company.
I'm not perfect but I'm infinitely happier. I pay loose attention to the news but I am wary of sources and styles of reporting. I have opinions, like others, but I try to be informed or considerate of the opinions or feelings of others when discussing sensitive matters or political footballs. I don't stress things too much compared to before which is enhanced by an appreciation and glass half-full outlook for the things that are going well in my life. I no longer silently scream from behind the curtains when a stranger parks opposite my driveway making it difficult if I leave, I no longer ruminate as much about some perceived slight in my character when some youth didn't move out of my way as we walked towards each other in the street... I don't dwell too long when I fail to secure an interview or make up reasons why someone else got the job and how life isn't fair. It's just a tax, a tax on your time, your brain, how you make others feel around you...it's pointless.
I'm a firm believer in that we are mostly source or owner of misery in our lives. Not happy about something in particular? Find a way of dealing with it and don't be that person that seems to enjoy moaning about it rather than tackling it. I avoid further interactions with those that state "There's no point..." nowadays.
So, what do I care about?
My family and friends. The boundaries of what I care about within that can sprawl far and wide from caring immediately about my daughters, their growth and development to pondering how best to set them up for later life so how do I achieve that, better job, finances, etc... but primarily, family and friends. I do care about other things in life, hobbies and whatnot, but I default largely to those I love and cherish and I take a lot of enjoyment from that.
underwhelmist said:
K87 said:
Cruelty to animals including badger farming and all cases of wearing animal fur.
I mean, I agree but...do people farm badgers? We've got the stripey bds in our garden and would love it if they'd move somewhere else.See the PETA website
beambeam1 said:
I made a conscious effort to stop it. Perpetual outrage makes it horrible to be around such people.
A few years ago, in the middle of the pandemic, I came home from a night shift herding rogue students who weren't socially distancing, colleagues that were doing my head in and regaled my wife with a rant about it all and how st work was and how much I hated it. This was probably half an hour before she was due to start her own day working from home in a role that she enjoys but is much more stressful than mine when considering perspective.
She sat there letting me vent with what I can only describe as a thousand-yard stare that went through me, the wall behind and down the street. Afterwards she simply asked if I was done and explained that my diatribe about the night before had totally ruined her day before it had begun. She described it as if I had drawn the curtains against the morning sun and brought about a black cloud. My rant was full of trivial and superficial negativities that in the grand scheme of things shouldn't bother me so much. Colleagues moaning and gossiping about management, students and colleagues? Why do I care? Overseas students going feral in their own closed quarters after months of quarantine conditions, try and see it from their perspective... and so on.
I felt rotten. I had practically browbeaten the poor lass with what was really a tantrum. I didn't sleep well that day but I took her comments on board and we chatted about it further during covid. It caused me to consider my own conversations and interactions with others going forward, I've even distanced myself from others that run on that negative setting. I've even tried to slowly nudge my old man into a more positive outlook rather than leave him be that old man shouting at clouds. I think it's gone a long way to make me a better person to be around and enhanced my enjoyment of other people's company.
I'm not perfect but I'm infinitely happier. I pay loose attention to the news but I am wary of sources and styles of reporting. I have opinions, like others, but I try to be informed or considerate of the opinions or feelings of others when discussing sensitive matters or political footballs. I don't stress things too much compared to before which is enhanced by an appreciation and glass half-full outlook for the things that are going well in my life. I no longer silently scream from behind the curtains when a stranger parks opposite my driveway making it difficult if I leave, I no longer ruminate as much about some perceived slight in my character when some youth didn't move out of my way as we walked towards each other in the street... I don't dwell too long when I fail to secure an interview or make up reasons why someone else got the job and how life isn't fair. It's just a tax, a tax on your time, your brain, how you make others feel around you...it's pointless.
I'm a firm believer in that we are mostly source or owner of misery in our lives. Not happy about something in particular? Find a way of dealing with it and don't be that person that seems to enjoy moaning about it rather than tackling it. I avoid further interactions with those that state "There's no point..." nowadays.
So, what do I care about?
My family and friends. The boundaries of what I care about within that can sprawl far and wide from caring immediately about my daughters, their growth and development to pondering how best to set them up for later life so how do I achieve that, better job, finances, etc... but primarily, family and friends. I do care about other things in life, hobbies and whatnot, but I default largely to those I love and cherish and I take a lot of enjoyment from that.
Great post.A few years ago, in the middle of the pandemic, I came home from a night shift herding rogue students who weren't socially distancing, colleagues that were doing my head in and regaled my wife with a rant about it all and how s
t work was and how much I hated it. This was probably half an hour before she was due to start her own day working from home in a role that she enjoys but is much more stressful than mine when considering perspective.She sat there letting me vent with what I can only describe as a thousand-yard stare that went through me, the wall behind and down the street. Afterwards she simply asked if I was done and explained that my diatribe about the night before had totally ruined her day before it had begun. She described it as if I had drawn the curtains against the morning sun and brought about a black cloud. My rant was full of trivial and superficial negativities that in the grand scheme of things shouldn't bother me so much. Colleagues moaning and gossiping about management, students and colleagues? Why do I care? Overseas students going feral in their own closed quarters after months of quarantine conditions, try and see it from their perspective... and so on.
I felt rotten. I had practically browbeaten the poor lass with what was really a tantrum. I didn't sleep well that day but I took her comments on board and we chatted about it further during covid. It caused me to consider my own conversations and interactions with others going forward, I've even distanced myself from others that run on that negative setting. I've even tried to slowly nudge my old man into a more positive outlook rather than leave him be that old man shouting at clouds. I think it's gone a long way to make me a better person to be around and enhanced my enjoyment of other people's company.
I'm not perfect but I'm infinitely happier. I pay loose attention to the news but I am wary of sources and styles of reporting. I have opinions, like others, but I try to be informed or considerate of the opinions or feelings of others when discussing sensitive matters or political footballs. I don't stress things too much compared to before which is enhanced by an appreciation and glass half-full outlook for the things that are going well in my life. I no longer silently scream from behind the curtains when a stranger parks opposite my driveway making it difficult if I leave, I no longer ruminate as much about some perceived slight in my character when some youth didn't move out of my way as we walked towards each other in the street... I don't dwell too long when I fail to secure an interview or make up reasons why someone else got the job and how life isn't fair. It's just a tax, a tax on your time, your brain, how you make others feel around you...it's pointless.
I'm a firm believer in that we are mostly source or owner of misery in our lives. Not happy about something in particular? Find a way of dealing with it and don't be that person that seems to enjoy moaning about it rather than tackling it. I avoid further interactions with those that state "There's no point..." nowadays.
So, what do I care about?
My family and friends. The boundaries of what I care about within that can sprawl far and wide from caring immediately about my daughters, their growth and development to pondering how best to set them up for later life so how do I achieve that, better job, finances, etc... but primarily, family and friends. I do care about other things in life, hobbies and whatnot, but I default largely to those I love and cherish and I take a lot of enjoyment from that.
My father in law is an 85yo who reads and believes every word of the daily mail every day and is an a state of perpetual outrage.
His hatred of anyone and everything (usually Johnny Foreigner and “bloody poofters”) is fuelled by that bigoted arsewipe of a “news” paper. None of the stuff he is so vehemently outraged by actually affects him directly. Roadworks hundreds of miles away (he doesn’t drive). Anything LGBTQ+. Muslims and Jews equally. Females in senior positions. Global warming (which he doesn’t believe in). All these things get him so worked up I’m amazed he hasn’t had a heart attack.
He’s an awful person to be around. A black hole of negativity. What pleasure can there possibly be in life?
At that age, in recognition that I won’t have much time left, I really hope I focus on things around me that can improve my day or that of those around me, things that make me happy. A loving wife, dogs, a sunny day, music, books.
Edited by Lefty on Friday 14th March 07:21
Rusty Old-Banger said:
KobayashiMaru86 said:
Same. It all seems pointless and more so after losing my parents. The only thing I care about is my dog.
Username checks outI care about our country, NI is a brilliant place to live. The community, the scenery, the roads. Having grown up through the second half of the troubles, known people who were shot mistakenly, seen the aftermath of bombings etc I would never want to go back to that. I can’t do much on the grand scheme but I can and do volunteer in a place that helps Protestant and Catholics who have maybe had less opportunities than me to work together in a positive way.
Like others I care about my family. My friends. My fitness as I grow older. And I do care about my job as it affords me to live in this world and the freedom to travel or partake in hobbies.
Some very good posts here.
Of course family and close friends I care about. A huge amount. The immediate environment that I live in I care about. My career, money, the latest and greatest shiny things, much much much less, in fact, not at all now.
Of our values, there is one that my wife and I place above anything and that’s kindness and how we treat others. We learned many years ago everyone has their own problems behind closed doors, and even a smile to them could help their day.
Seeing all the conflict, hatred, selfishness on the news and on socials and in real life destroys us. We can’t cope because we see people at each others throats all the time so we now tend to stay away. I’m never in the mood for, as the doc above put it, brick throwing and can’t understand people who do.
Even on PH, being nice, or being civil to others has gone. We’re not killing people like in the wars, but our lack of care to others influences their days. The poster way above (superb post beambeam1) spoke about the verbal barrage he gave his wife after his work, and only realised later the impact it had on his wife.
We all say we don’t have the power to stop wars or conflict - which feels so true, but we do have the power not to destroy someone’s day by caring about how we treat and speak to others we meet on a daily basis.
That’s the one thing I care about. How you treat others.
Of course family and close friends I care about. A huge amount. The immediate environment that I live in I care about. My career, money, the latest and greatest shiny things, much much much less, in fact, not at all now.
Of our values, there is one that my wife and I place above anything and that’s kindness and how we treat others. We learned many years ago everyone has their own problems behind closed doors, and even a smile to them could help their day.
Seeing all the conflict, hatred, selfishness on the news and on socials and in real life destroys us. We can’t cope because we see people at each others throats all the time so we now tend to stay away. I’m never in the mood for, as the doc above put it, brick throwing and can’t understand people who do.
Even on PH, being nice, or being civil to others has gone. We’re not killing people like in the wars, but our lack of care to others influences their days. The poster way above (superb post beambeam1) spoke about the verbal barrage he gave his wife after his work, and only realised later the impact it had on his wife.
We all say we don’t have the power to stop wars or conflict - which feels so true, but we do have the power not to destroy someone’s day by caring about how we treat and speak to others we meet on a daily basis.
That’s the one thing I care about. How you treat others.
Edited by thepritch on Friday 14th March 07:33
m3jappa said:
I care about way too much, Its actually not a nice way to live.
I think it shows great empathy for others in a world where people are far too self indulgent.I obviously care for my family and friends, that's a given. But I also care about Ukrainians, about the damage our government is doing, about the damage the American president is doing. I do not live in any kind of 'rage', far from it - I am perfectly happy. But I do care about others.
NDA said:
I think it shows great empathy for others in a world where people are far too self indulgent.
I obviously care for my family and friends, that's a given. But I also care about Ukrainians, about the damage our government is doing, about the damage the American president is doing. I do not live in any kind of 'rage', far from it - I am perfectly happy. But I do care about others.
Being overly empathetic is often in itself self indulgent.I obviously care for my family and friends, that's a given. But I also care about Ukrainians, about the damage our government is doing, about the damage the American president is doing. I do not live in any kind of 'rage', far from it - I am perfectly happy. But I do care about others.
SWoll said:
NDA said:
I think it shows great empathy for others in a world where people are far too self indulgent.
I obviously care for my family and friends, that's a given. But I also care about Ukrainians, about the damage our government is doing, about the damage the American president is doing. I do not live in any kind of 'rage', far from it - I am perfectly happy. But I do care about others.
Being overly empathetic is often in itself self indulgent.I obviously care for my family and friends, that's a given. But I also care about Ukrainians, about the damage our government is doing, about the damage the American president is doing. I do not live in any kind of 'rage', far from it - I am perfectly happy. But I do care about others.
Family.
Health.
Not much else really matters in the scheme of things.
Health.
Not much else really matters in the scheme of things.
Quattr04. said:
How do people cope with being so outraged by everything?
You should ask some of the regular posters who contribute multiple times all day every dayAll that noise from the orange idiot can be distracting but I find it easy to focus on what I want to do in this world as I quickly notice I'm being distracted and decide to think about something more productive. The two things I broadly focus my energies on are slowly growing my business in a way that feels easy for me (almost like I'm not running a business and more like enjoying myself) and helping those less fortunate than me (whether that's raising money for a local foodbank or mentoring undergrads at a local uni).
Oh, the ease at which I can change my thoughts is down to practising mindfulness.
Oh, the ease at which I can change my thoughts is down to practising mindfulness.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff