365 days without booze... join me?
Discussion
3rd day of the hangover still feeling the hangziety, regret and physical pain.
It’s always been easy for me to gaslight myself into thinking alcohol isn’t an issue because I only binge drink every now and then at social events. Don’t drink otherwise. And I try to convince myself that I can control myself by only drinking beer/only drinking so much but in reality it never works out that way.
My issue is nearly all my social interactions with friends/work colleagues/dating have and do revolve around drink so it currently feels like it’s going to be a choice between continuing this trend or being more isolated.
Curious to know how others have dealt with this and whether they continued the same relationships being the only sober one, or if you had to find new relationships that made being tee total easier.
It’s always been easy for me to gaslight myself into thinking alcohol isn’t an issue because I only binge drink every now and then at social events. Don’t drink otherwise. And I try to convince myself that I can control myself by only drinking beer/only drinking so much but in reality it never works out that way.
My issue is nearly all my social interactions with friends/work colleagues/dating have and do revolve around drink so it currently feels like it’s going to be a choice between continuing this trend or being more isolated.
Curious to know how others have dealt with this and whether they continued the same relationships being the only sober one, or if you had to find new relationships that made being tee total easier.
I lost a lot of “friends” when I stopped but it turned out they were just drinking buddies. I did meet up with them a few times but without the bond of getting wrecked together we had nothing in common.
It is difficult at the beginning but once I realized it’s perfectly normal to drift apart it’s fine.
My real friends supported me but associates dropped me like a hot stone!
It is difficult at the beginning but once I realized it’s perfectly normal to drift apart it’s fine.
My real friends supported me but associates dropped me like a hot stone!
I’m on day 37, had my first real ‘test’ on Saturday by going round to our friends house. Lots of questions and a little bit of mickey taking but once that was done no one mentioned it again all evening. I sat drinking 3l of water and a couple of ginger beers, enjoyed the evening just as much without the beers watching the rugby.
The thought of having a drink turns my stomach at the thought, it’s odd how the switch has just flipped for me.
Have got a bit of anxiety feeling today which is slightly odd as I’ve only really experienced that post drinking.
The thought of having a drink turns my stomach at the thought, it’s odd how the switch has just flipped for me.
Have got a bit of anxiety feeling today which is slightly odd as I’ve only really experienced that post drinking.
Blib said:
othername said:
Cheers; yeah I didn't expect to suddenly feel great after a week of abstinence especially after such stupid binges (2 lots of a week of gin & vodka within a week of each other). Feeling better today than yesterday, which was better than the day prior, etc... I can very well see myself getting to the end of the month and setting myself a new target, then another etc. One day at a time, right?
It may be worth swerving the pub for a while, at least until you have a more focused take on your situation.Temptation can be unhelpful early in the process.
The bigger challenge is home as it's pretty much our routine to sit down Friday night and have a few glasses of wine (or G&T as was my tipple lately). My missus (being a Yorkshire lass) likes a drink and has a glass of wine most nights, good bit more on Friday. Last couple of Fridays I just didn't fancy any at all, although Saturday evening sitting in the sun (on our balcony having a smoke) there was undeniable temptation - I think as much as anything because it's been a habit being in that environment triggers the 'usual' receptors to expect some booze. I did some exercise half an hour later instead 
I read somewhere that habits can be formed/broken in as little as 3-4 weeks - perhaps that's where the idea of doing a dry month comes from, as it's long enough to break a habit and potentially effect long term changes in behaviour. Just over 2 weeks for me now and plan is still to see out dry March which conveniently ends on a Sunday so if I do drink more than likely it won't be till the following Friday. If I do. I don't know. I'll see how I feel then, I do know I don't want to undo any positivity I've gained from doing a dry month. I see this as just a first step to permanent behaviour change really - what that behaviour will be I'm not sure of yet, other than it definitely won't be descending into a stupid binge ever again.
Bilb is right, I can only talk to what I went through and was a pretty consistent drinker for years. It definitely took some retraining of the brain and learning what emotions were when I stopped drinking. Alcohol is exceptional at masking stuff short term and retraining your brain, to deal with things you previously drank away, takes time, practice and a lot of grace to yourself.
It's not an easy road, but it gets better - I can promise you all that much.
It's not an easy road, but it gets better - I can promise you all that much.
This is pretty good, William Porter the author of alcohol explained:
https://youtu.be/CZc6qDtPLIk?si=3hLDKvJaxjc5NYoK
https://youtu.be/CZc6qDtPLIk?si=3hLDKvJaxjc5NYoK
I had about 4 / 5 months 'almost' completely off the booze, I'm now in some happy medium of mixing both NA drinks and beer plus the odd G&T. I've cut out red wine entirely since the initial halt on proceedings, It was always the red that gave me any semblance of a hangover in the past.
Joscal said:
This is pretty good, William Porter the author of alcohol explained:
https://youtu.be/CZc6qDtPLIk?si=3hLDKvJaxjc5NYoK
Thanks, was a good watch https://youtu.be/CZc6qDtPLIk?si=3hLDKvJaxjc5NYoK
Blib said:
BlindedByTheLights said:
How do you guys best deal with refusing or declining drinks with people now you’ve given up? Ie at gatherings or social events where drink is the norm
Replying that you are allergic to alcohol often does the trick.Go there maybe once a week. I enjoy meeting people from all over the world.
As I often end up in quite long chats with individuals or groups I’m often offered a ‘let us buy you a drink’
I just say I don't drink. 90% of people ‘ha ha how funny, you own a cocktail bar’. That’s it.
Mostly if people push further I say medical reasons (true). If they are nice and genuine I might mention my epilepsy. Doctor said not to drink on the medication, so I stopped.
On a couple of occasions with someone I don’t like their attitude I have looked them in the eye and said ‘seven years of a nine year sentence for manslaughter, that why.’
That shuts it down quickly. If its a group other members have twigged I’m kidding…gets a laugh.
Thinking about it, it’s been English, Scot and a Russian that i’ve used that line.
Funnily enough my business partner in the bar doesn’t drink either. About five years ago he had a epiphany that alcohol was stopping him achieving what he wanted in life. Stopped that day.
Edited by jdw100 on Monday 24th March 02:33
Day 23 for me. Head feeling clearer and despite being in environments where I'd normally have a drink it hasn't bothered me really. Went into London Saturday driving all over the place sightseeing, having food and drinks - alcohol for her, orange & lemonade/ginger beer for me. It's funny, I find it so much easier to have the attitude of 'I'm not drinking at all' instead of trying to work out where/when you can have a pint or a half and still be legal to drive. What's the point? Had a cracking evening out, another hangover free Sunday. My missus is drinking quite a bit less now too, I can only assume that we encouraged each other when drinking was the norm, now it's just her a bottle of wine lasted 2 days instead of being the warm up to bottle no2 as Fridays used to be. Still feeling tired often which I'm putting down to the fact I'm waking up to an alarm every day to crack on with being productive (still 7hrs+ sleep though) and that I've ramped up my exercise regime quite a bit. Now have picked up a cold, I wonder if booze would usually have killed it previously 
Mood is miles better, no highs or lows, just feel nice and steady and in control. I have a mountain of stuff to do, stuff that piled ever higher when I was drinking/hungover, but it's good to have things to focus on which will go towards making life better (and hopefully earn a few quid). I'm feeling really quite alert, literally feel more intelligent - I can work things out faster, speech is quicker and more cohesive. No doubt some of this positivity is down to the exercise but I'm sure the majority of it is the longest period of non-drinking in maybe 9-10 years. I'm going to the filming of a TV show tonight which is happening in a pub, drinks allowed. I'm not going to be drawn into temptation despite going on the train, ginger beer or water will do just fine 
Mood is miles better, no highs or lows, just feel nice and steady and in control. I have a mountain of stuff to do, stuff that piled ever higher when I was drinking/hungover, but it's good to have things to focus on which will go towards making life better (and hopefully earn a few quid). I'm feeling really quite alert, literally feel more intelligent - I can work things out faster, speech is quicker and more cohesive. No doubt some of this positivity is down to the exercise but I'm sure the majority of it is the longest period of non-drinking in maybe 9-10 years. I'm going to the filming of a TV show tonight which is happening in a pub, drinks allowed. I'm not going to be drawn into temptation despite going on the train, ginger beer or water will do just fine othername said:
Day 23 for me. Head feeling clearer and despite being in environments where I'd normally have a drink it hasn't bothered me really. Went into London Saturday driving all over the place sightseeing, having food and drinks - alcohol for her, orange & lemonade/ginger beer for me. It's funny, I find it so much easier to have the attitude of 'I'm not drinking at all' instead of trying to work out where/when you can have a pint or a half and still be legal to drive. What's the point? Had a cracking evening out, another hangover free Sunday. My missus is drinking quite a bit less now too, I can only assume that we encouraged each other when drinking was the norm, now it's just her a bottle of wine lasted 2 days instead of being the warm up to bottle no2 as Fridays used to be. Still feeling tired often which I'm putting down to the fact I'm waking up to an alarm every day to crack on with being productive (still 7hrs+ sleep though) and that I've ramped up my exercise regime quite a bit. Now have picked up a cold, I wonder if booze would usually have killed it previously Mood is miles better, no highs or lows, just feel nice and steady and in control. I have a mountain of stuff to do, stuff that piled ever higher when I was drinking/hungover, but it's good to have things to focus on which will go towards making life better (and hopefully earn a few quid). I'm feeling really quite alert, literally feel more intelligent - I can work things out faster, speech is quicker and more cohesive. No doubt some of this positivity is down to the exercise but I'm sure the majority of it is the longest period of non-drinking in maybe 9-10 years. I'm going to the filming of a TV show tonight which is happening in a pub, drinks allowed. I'm not going to be drawn into temptation despite going on the train, ginger beer or water will do just fine
That's really good to read! Mood is miles better, no highs or lows, just feel nice and steady and in control. I have a mountain of stuff to do, stuff that piled ever higher when I was drinking/hungover, but it's good to have things to focus on which will go towards making life better (and hopefully earn a few quid). I'm feeling really quite alert, literally feel more intelligent - I can work things out faster, speech is quicker and more cohesive. No doubt some of this positivity is down to the exercise but I'm sure the majority of it is the longest period of non-drinking in maybe 9-10 years. I'm going to the filming of a TV show tonight which is happening in a pub, drinks allowed. I'm not going to be drawn into temptation despite going on the train, ginger beer or water will do just fine 
Speed Badger said:
Really really struggling to get through the week and even make it to the weekend without having a glass of red at the moment. We've just moved house so that has likely contributed to the excess alcohol infusion presently!
Do you have a goal in mind? To cut down? To stop? Where are you at at the moment?
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