365 days without booze... join me?
Discussion
It's obvious from your post that you've learned a lot about your processes around alcohol during the past few weeks.
This can only hold you in good stead in the future. Be aware of any increases in consumption that become problematic to you, or others. Your diary can be a useful tool to combat 'mission creep'.
This can only hold you in good stead in the future. Be aware of any increases in consumption that become problematic to you, or others. Your diary can be a useful tool to combat 'mission creep'.
Tomorrow will be six months dry for me, which I'm very proud of. There have been a few tests along the way, but I think I'm now officially a 'non-drinker', which is a bit of a weird thing to see written down, given my relationship with alcohol since I was about seventeen!
Good job to everyone else sticking it out, it's not easy when the whole world seems a bit obsessed!
Good job to everyone else sticking it out, it's not easy when the whole world seems a bit obsessed!
I have a friend that sometimes disappears for a week or two. Maybe once very 4/5 months.
Lovely guy, his son is friends with my daughter (both 7).
I know he goes off an absolute bender. His wife is our friend as well and has told me some of the stuff he does. s
tting himself, wandering down street in underpants (which is not as crazy here as it might be in UK), put his hand through a window and requiring surgery etc etc.
I’ve never seen any of this. I meet him for coffee or taking kids out, been on some family getaways as well. Never an issue.
I know its got bad as wife is now leaving him. Wants a co-parenting arrangement whereby he can’t be present when drunk
Got a call yesterday; he was clearly hammered and asked could please come to see him even though he was embarrassed and would understand if I didn’t want to.
I’ve never seen anything like it. Slumped on a stained sofa, vomit covered t-shirt, cut nose, food on the floor as well as a dubious looking liquid that turned out to be vomited up blood. Had st himself a little bit. Talking about suicide, sobbing. Run out of mixers for his Jamesons so was using his son’s yoghurt drink.
Spent three hours there, he vomited up a black liquid into a bucket and down himself - mix of drink and clotted blood. Remarkably coherent though. Wants to stop doing this. Honest as well; I said I’ll take the bottles of alcohol home with me; he said he would just order some more for delivery.
Wife had, obviously, gone off with son. She told me he has medicine for the bleeding, it happens every time and to just leave him to it.
Cutting the story short, I did a video call this morning; he was still hammered and hiccuping; Every hiccup either a black lump of gelid blood would come out or bright red liquid blood running down his chin.
I got him to hospital and straight into CAT. Alcohol abuse has burnt out a section of stomach that has scarred and keeps ripping and bleeding.
I’ve dealt with some things at road accidents but this…..seeing a friend vomiting up blood.
Apparently just can’t stop, always comes back to the drink, seen professionals etc. Can stay off booze for six months but always ends up in a state again.
Just really really upsetting. Couldn’t even give the guy a hug as was in a disgusting state.
How sad is this? I’m shell shocked. I knew he would go off on ‘a bender’ but i’ve never seen anything like this in my life. He’s a lovely caring family guy; this is just like a whole different person but still him….if that makes sense…?
Lovely guy, his son is friends with my daughter (both 7).
I know he goes off an absolute bender. His wife is our friend as well and has told me some of the stuff he does. s
tting himself, wandering down street in underpants (which is not as crazy here as it might be in UK), put his hand through a window and requiring surgery etc etc.I’ve never seen any of this. I meet him for coffee or taking kids out, been on some family getaways as well. Never an issue.
I know its got bad as wife is now leaving him. Wants a co-parenting arrangement whereby he can’t be present when drunk
Got a call yesterday; he was clearly hammered and asked could please come to see him even though he was embarrassed and would understand if I didn’t want to.
I’ve never seen anything like it. Slumped on a stained sofa, vomit covered t-shirt, cut nose, food on the floor as well as a dubious looking liquid that turned out to be vomited up blood. Had s
t himself a little bit. Talking about suicide, sobbing. Run out of mixers for his Jamesons so was using his son’s yoghurt drink.Spent three hours there, he vomited up a black liquid into a bucket and down himself - mix of drink and clotted blood. Remarkably coherent though. Wants to stop doing this. Honest as well; I said I’ll take the bottles of alcohol home with me; he said he would just order some more for delivery.
Wife had, obviously, gone off with son. She told me he has medicine for the bleeding, it happens every time and to just leave him to it.
Cutting the story short, I did a video call this morning; he was still hammered and hiccuping; Every hiccup either a black lump of gelid blood would come out or bright red liquid blood running down his chin.
I got him to hospital and straight into CAT. Alcohol abuse has burnt out a section of stomach that has scarred and keeps ripping and bleeding.
I’ve dealt with some things at road accidents but this…..seeing a friend vomiting up blood.
Apparently just can’t stop, always comes back to the drink, seen professionals etc. Can stay off booze for six months but always ends up in a state again.
Just really really upsetting. Couldn’t even give the guy a hug as was in a disgusting state.
How sad is this? I’m shell shocked. I knew he would go off on ‘a bender’ but i’ve never seen anything like this in my life. He’s a lovely caring family guy; this is just like a whole different person but still him….if that makes sense…?
othername said:
Well it seems I might have an intolerance to red wine
I probably shouldn't really contribute to this topic, as I like a drink, and don't have any plans to stop for an extended period of time, but I do seem to feel really down the day after drinking red wine. Which is a shame, as I really enjoy it at the time!Beer doesn't really have the same effect, it's strange.
Blib said:
Sadly, most people suffering from alcohol dependency don't get anywhere near to recovery.
Instead, one way or another, they are killed by the condition.
That’s comforting to know. Instead, one way or another, they are killed by the condition.
I don’t want to get sucked into this s
t show too much.Will try and point him in direction of more counselling, I guess.
I was told to stop drinking 6 years ago by a doctor as a medication for my ( just diagnosed) epilepsy was contra-indicated for alcohol. So I stopped that day. Not really helpful story for him.
Genuinely scary. This is not the person I know….Hrs been like this for a week.
jdw100 said:
Blib said:
Sadly, most people suffering from alcohol dependency don't get anywhere near to recovery.
Instead, one way or another, they are killed by the condition.
That’s comforting to know. Instead, one way or another, they are killed by the condition.
I don’t want to get sucked into this s
t show too much.Will try and point him in direction of more counselling, I guess.
I was told to stop drinking 6 years ago by a doctor as a medication for my ( just diagnosed) epilepsy was contra-indicated for alcohol. So I stopped that day. Not really helpful story for him.
Genuinely scary. This is not the person I know….Hrs been like this for a week.
What we cautioned them stands for you too. We taught them the 'Three Cs':
You didn't cause it. *
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.
Unless and until your friend has genuinely had enough, and is open to change there's not much any one else can do.
* I don't exactly subscribe to this first bit.
mooseracer said:
Blib said:
You didn't cause it. *
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.
* I don't exactly subscribe to this first bit.
Really quite surprised by this, how come?You can't control it.
You can't cure it.
* I don't exactly subscribe to this first bit.
This dysfunction can be real OR perceived. This approach worked for me in my practice.
However, there are many, many different theories as to what causes addiction. Indeed, the first line of the first lecture of my Masters course was 'No one knows what causes addiction. We shall teach you the theories, work with what resonates with you'.
Many of my colleagues had completely different approaches.
(I told you that I'd bang on
) That's sad to read jdw. Hoping something works for your friend but yeh, sounds bleak.
I did 5 months dry up until recently. I'd characterise myself as having alcohol use disorder based on what I've read and listened to - yet my brain can and will convince itself that I can try again. My mum died from the stuff when I was 8 so I suppose there's an element of hereditary predisposition perhaps. My issue is not going from 0 drinks to 1 - that's simple. It's where that 1 takes me, which is invariably far too many.
I have had some drinks over last few weeks but I'm quitting again - the 5 months without have made it quite clear that it takes away far more than it gives.
Best of luck to everyone on the same battle.
I did 5 months dry up until recently. I'd characterise myself as having alcohol use disorder based on what I've read and listened to - yet my brain can and will convince itself that I can try again. My mum died from the stuff when I was 8 so I suppose there's an element of hereditary predisposition perhaps. My issue is not going from 0 drinks to 1 - that's simple. It's where that 1 takes me, which is invariably far too many.
I have had some drinks over last few weeks but I'm quitting again - the 5 months without have made it quite clear that it takes away far more than it gives.
Best of luck to everyone on the same battle.
Jungleland said:
That's sad to read jdw. Hoping something works for your friend but yeh, sounds bleak.
I did 5 months dry up until recently. I'd characterise myself as having alcohol use disorder based on what I've read and listened to - yet my brain can and will convince itself that I can try again. My mum died from the stuff when I was 8 so I suppose there's an element of hereditary predisposition perhaps. My issue is not going from 0 drinks to 1 - that's simple. It's where that 1 takes me, which is invariably far too many.
I have had some drinks over last few weeks but I'm quitting again - the 5 months without have made it quite clear that it takes away far more than it gives.
Best of luck to everyone on the same battle.
Not really working out. I did 5 months dry up until recently. I'd characterise myself as having alcohol use disorder based on what I've read and listened to - yet my brain can and will convince itself that I can try again. My mum died from the stuff when I was 8 so I suppose there's an element of hereditary predisposition perhaps. My issue is not going from 0 drinks to 1 - that's simple. It's where that 1 takes me, which is invariably far too many.
I have had some drinks over last few weeks but I'm quitting again - the 5 months without have made it quite clear that it takes away far more than it gives.
Best of luck to everyone on the same battle.
He’s out of hospital. Bleeding is from a gastric band type of operation a few years ago (10?). Alcohol has totally inflamed the area, hence hiccuping up blood.
I rang him last night; he was drunk.
No wonder his wife is leaving him.
Best of luck to anyone on here with these kind of issues.
If vomiting up blood whilst sat in your own poo, repeating the behaviour that lead to you losing wife and son…if that’s not a wake up call…
Regenesis said:
Regenesis said:
Regenesis said:
Regenesis said:
Regenesis said:
Happy New Year everyone.
I don t normally do this sort of thing (baring one s soul type stuff) but wanted to put something down so there was some sort of record I could follow or look back on.
I m mid fifties, married, a parent, very moderately successful (average earnings (that s real average earnings, not PH bs averages) and a mortgagee). Not very fit but enough to get by in normal life. I ve never been a happy person. Never had any confidence. Have never really liked who I am. In truth I ve never had any drive or ambition or much in the way of self esteem. I came to terms with who I was as a teenager and just muddled through - or at least that s what I ve been saying to myself for thirty odd years!
I drink every day and have done since I was in my late teens. Genuinely cannot recall a single day off in that time. The drinking is mostly in secret, which is a little pathetic but there we are. In the order of 12-16 units a day. All at home. Being a genuinely average earner and living in London I ve never had the money for drinking out. So I can t blame the drinking on socialising!
I ve had enough and want to stop. I don t want the kids to lose their Dad - either to poor health or from a potential breakdown in their parents relationship.
I actually have stopped. Last drink was on December the 29th. Nothing since. In truth I ve not particularly wanted one since. Which confuses me. Hopefully I can just keep carrying that forward.
Thanks for listening.
As you were.
Well that s a week successfully navigated with very little drama. Let s hope things continue in the same manner.I don t normally do this sort of thing (baring one s soul type stuff) but wanted to put something down so there was some sort of record I could follow or look back on.
I m mid fifties, married, a parent, very moderately successful (average earnings (that s real average earnings, not PH bs averages) and a mortgagee). Not very fit but enough to get by in normal life. I ve never been a happy person. Never had any confidence. Have never really liked who I am. In truth I ve never had any drive or ambition or much in the way of self esteem. I came to terms with who I was as a teenager and just muddled through - or at least that s what I ve been saying to myself for thirty odd years!
I drink every day and have done since I was in my late teens. Genuinely cannot recall a single day off in that time. The drinking is mostly in secret, which is a little pathetic but there we are. In the order of 12-16 units a day. All at home. Being a genuinely average earner and living in London I ve never had the money for drinking out. So I can t blame the drinking on socialising!
I ve had enough and want to stop. I don t want the kids to lose their Dad - either to poor health or from a potential breakdown in their parents relationship.
I actually have stopped. Last drink was on December the 29th. Nothing since. In truth I ve not particularly wanted one since. Which confuses me. Hopefully I can just keep carrying that forward.
Thanks for listening.
As you were.
I m two months or so into the endeavour. I m not sure I have much else to contribute particularly but fwiw I m just plugging on every day trying not to overthink things too much. I haven t found abstinence remarkably hard, for which I am grateful, and while I kid myself I don t feel any different it s hard to know and I m sure I am healthier really. It just doesn t manifest itself to me.
The wife noticed I wasn t having the odd beer of an evening, so I confessed I was trying to cut back. Seemed better not to overcommit.
Anyway, it s not all about me!
Carry on.
I appreciate I m no particular use to anyone else in this endeavour but I genuinely wish you all my very best.
Hopefully see you again sometime.
I don t really do wisdom and I m certainly not so arrogant to think mine would be useful, but appreciation comes easily so thanks for all your (mostly unrecognised, apologies) support.
My thoughts and support goes to others on this path.
Happy New Year. Hopefully see you again.
I just took a look to see where my day count had got to and we’re at day 518 now. I’d intended to mark the 500. Never mind.
Best wishes everyone.
I'm coming up on 6 years shortly and this week means a holiday back to where it all began in Florida.
This time 6 years ago i was prepping for holiday and over the next three weeks my life would change and almost very nearly end. Can't say i don't have a bit of nervousness about it but the consequences of a relapse will mean almost certain hospitalisation in the US or at worst not coming home at all.
This time 6 years ago i was prepping for holiday and over the next three weeks my life would change and almost very nearly end. Can't say i don't have a bit of nervousness about it but the consequences of a relapse will mean almost certain hospitalisation in the US or at worst not coming home at all.
AB said:
You've got this Davie, Florida is so much better sober because you want to remember it all and make the most of it.
Thanks mate, appreciate the words. Added encouragement is that the amount of money i had to pay for sufficient insurance. We have a friend of the family who was knocked down in Florida with no insurance. He was drunk, fell onto the road and got hit by a taxi. Broke both legs, shattered nearly every rib and his collar bone and had to have a special arrangement to get him home on a hospital bed with staff. That cost him his legs eventually as they had to amputate after infections. It also cost him every penny he and his entire family had, his house, credit card bills in the 6 figure territory. Terrifying.
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff